I'm Not Good At Saying Goodbye

I'm really not. And before anyone freaks out, no I'm not leaving Master and no I'm not shutting down the blog.

The goodbye I'm talking about is to the job I've had for the past year. I had quite a few "work friends" there. People who I only talked to inside of work, but we got along and joked around quite a bit.

Before I go any further I'll explain a bit about last night. My original thought was to go into work today, finish out the day, and then resign. Well yesterday while I was having lunch with Master at His job, UPS tried to drop off the package I was waiting on. It is Master's anniversary present, so I was really excited about it showing up. Well since they chose the exact time I wasn't home, they didn't drop it off because it required a signature. So I made arrangements to pick it up that night. They told me to be there between 8-8:30pm. Master was beat from work, so I went by myself. There was a huge line and it took forever but I was being stubborn. Master was not going to wait until Monday to get His present damnit! Never mind the fact our anniversary isn't until the 21st. *laughs*

So I finally got it, came home, Master opened it and it is His new favorite of His Boba Fett collection. *beams* I did good apparently. We watched a movie, I took my bath, and then we started to watch a 2nd movie. I fell asleep during it. By the time we actually went to bed it was somewhat late. So I was beat.

So after a long night, and the fact that I knew I would be sitting there all day at work today with butterflies in my stomach, I decided it would be better to just show up, quit, and go home. Plus I know myself enough to know that all it would take is one bad call (it was call center work), I'd go "Why am I doing this?" and just leave, which I feel would have looked worse.

I always get extremely nervous when I quit a job because I don't know what their reaction is going to be. Well, this one surprised me to be honest.

I got up at 6am, got dressed and headed in. I went to my desk, sent an e-mail out to a few of the coworkers I was "work buddies" with, so they wouldn't worry or think I got fired to say goodbye. It was short and to the point because I didn't know what to say. Then I went over to the assistant supervisor who was there, as there wasn't an actual supervisor there at that time, and informed him that I was leaving my position with the company. I handed him my badge that let me into the suite, and my parking do-dad. I don't know what to call it, it's one of those things that hang on your rear view mirror.

He asked me why and I was very honest with him, I told him that all the layoffs and e-mails about "we can't guarantee job security" had made me nervous and so I had decided it was time to move on. He said he understood and he shook my hand and told me it had been a pleasure working with me. *insert confused look here* I knew I was a good worker, but I was expecting more of a cold shoulder I guess?

I asked him if it would be okay if I cleaned out my desk, and he said that would be fine. Since that company deals with a lot of sensitive information I was expecting him to hover over me and then walk me to the door like they do when they fire someone, but he didn't. So I went to my desk, grabbed the very few personal things I had there like a Kleenex box, a funny cartoon, and my hand sanitizer. As I was walking out a coworker who had been hired on the same time I was asked where I was going so I told her that I was quitting. She gave me a big hug and asked for my phone number. So I gave it to her. She said she was very sad to see me go. Sweet of her.

I went home and tried to curl up and get more sleep. Master felt me getting into bed and asked me how it went, so I told Him. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep the phone rang, and it was my former job. I was like, "Did I forget to grab something?", so I answered the phone. Well apparently a supervisor had come in, one of my former supervisors actually.

He tried to convince me to come back to the company. I was shocked to say the least. When I declined, he asked me why. So I told him the same thing I told the assistant supervisor. He told me that I had nothing to worry about because I was such a good agent. So I brought up the fact that a supervisor who always had gone above and beyond had recently been let go, and so I had felt that it seemed that the higher up you went the more you had to be concerned about your job security regardless of performance since the company is looking to cut costs. He said he completely understood (again shocked) and said that since I was crossed trained in two other departments that I had more security there than others. I thanked him and again declined and stated that I had located another job. This is something I had not shared with the assistant supervisor.

So he asked me where, and then quickly stated that I didn't have to answer that. I said that I would prefer not to say. It is not that I am embarrassed by my new job, not in the least. But I don't feel I need to tell my former job where I am going and what I am doing. He stated that again he understood and asked if I was making more (no, but I didn't tell him that) or if it was more job security (which it is). So I told him that it was the job security that had made me want to make the change. So he wished me lots of luck.

I'd never had a job try and convince me to stay before. Apparently I have something they find useful, but that does not make me regret my decision at all. All it would take is one screw up and I know I'd be out the door. I've seen lots of good agents let go because of one small mistep. Plus I don't feel that I should be have to be crosstrained in two different departments, still get paid the same as people who aren't even fully trained in one department, to keep my job. This was another thing that had been a thorn in my side for quite some time. I had a raise proposal put in at the end of my 90 days and as of today, the day I quit, I still didn't have a yes or a no on that. Go figure. I did not feel I was recognized as a good agent because I was pushed to the side one to many times with things like that.

So I get off the phone and then climb back in bed. Master asked me what that was all about, so I told Him. He asked me if I was tired, and honestly I knew I wasn't getting back to bed, so He pulled me to Him and started rubbing against me. I laughed as He put me on my back and we nuzzled. Yay for early morning sex! :-D All of this before 8:30am.

Afterward, He laid back down and fell asleep rather quickly. I still couldn't sleep, so I went into the living room and have been browsing the web since. Then one of my former coworkers who had my phone number from when we were trying to trade shifts for a day called me and basically wanted to make sure I was alright. She thought there had been some sort of family tragedy and that is why I had left. I apologized for making her worry and then explained everything. She said she understood and that she is actually looking for a new job as well. She told me to keep in touch and I told her she can call anytime. I was touched by this though, because I only knew her at work and we mainly only joked around. I guess she had seen my desk cleared off and then saw my e-mail and thought the worst.

So now it isn't even noon yet and my day is already jampacked with surprises. Wow. Now as soon as Master gets up (He's taking advantage of being able to sleep in) we'll have the whole day together.