My Weekend

This weekend was absolutely wonderful. I have been relaxed all weekend long. *happy sigh* Like I had said, I was going to go into work yesterday but had decided against it. And apparently it was a good thing I did. From what I heard, cars were sitting in traffic so long that they overheated to the point that they had to be towed out. Holy hell. Four hours worth of bumper to bumper traffic both ways. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't go.

So I got to sleep in. In fact, the dog didn't wake me up until 9am, which is really late for him. I stayed up after I took him out. Master got up around 11am. We relaxed in the living room for a little while before He was about to got take His shower. He stood in front of me, naked, to give me a half hug like He normally does before He goes to take a shower on the weekend.

I was sitting on the couch and like usually He got up, stood in front of me with His thigh to me. I rested my head on His thigh and He wrapped His arm around me. I held on a little longer than usual as I had wrapped my arms around His leg. He chuckled and told me to let go. Instead I let go of His leg and started stroking His cock. He chuckled again and told me to either let go so He could go take His shower or to get my tail to the bedroom so we could fuck. Guess which one I chose?

Yeah. No brainer there.

It was a quickie, but I love those. Sometimes that wham, bam, thank you ma'am is hotter than fucking for an hour and a half, ya know? After that He took His shower and I ran down to the gas station.

We had about another hour to kill before we headed down to His brother's. It was our first time going to a family member's house on His dad's side of the family. It's been a slow build up over the past 2 ½ years.

We got there about a half hour early, but they didn't seem to mind. A lot happened so I won't go into every detail but it was a lot of fun and it was so relaxed. There was no tension. We felt at home immediately. And they seemed to be totally comfortable with us there. Master had a beer with His brother while I spent time with His brother's wife. We all played outside with His niece and nephew and His two younger sisters. We sat around and talked with His dad, His eldest sister and all of the other adults. It was great!

We stayed a lot later than I thought we would. We got there around 2:30pm and didn't leave until almost 7:30pm. And I think we would have stayed later had it been up to Master and His brother, but the kids needed to be put to bed and my brother-in-law's wife is 36 weeks pregnant so she was more than wore out. So I gently suggested that we head home.

I had a lot of fun. And I know that Master did too.

Today has been spent doing nothing. I left the apartment once. Other than that we've just lazed about the living room. I've been kind of frisky today though. We fucked earlier today and I have been coping feels here and there and He's done the same.

It's a little sad that it's almost 8pm already. I don't want this weekend to end.

If It's Not One Thing...

If it's not one thing it's another. Today was a great example of that. The drive to work was stressful since for whatever fucked up reason the interstate was backed up beyond belief. I was still able to get to work a half hour early. Don't ask me how because I honestly have no fucking idea. So okay, not a great start but whatever. Traffic sucks sometimes.

But the stress continued. My work computer has been acting up randomly for a while now. I was able to work around it as it wasn't "the usual". But today it got progressively worse. I had enough. So I contacted our IT department and they came over to look at it. Apparently, it needed more memory. And while they were at it, they decided that it would be best to just upgrade my computer to the new operating system that they were just started to change people over to. Only a handful of people in the office have it right now. But I was so happy that they were going to do that.

The only problem was that this was going to take 45 minutes to a hour. Okay.. that sucks. But I could do smaller stuff that I hadn't been able to get to in about three weeks. Such as filing and all that stuff. That didn't last as long as I thought it would. Before I knew it I was trying to find things to do. So I restocked paper, grabbed blank files to stock in our copy room, stuff like that.

But once all that was done I went to check in with how it was going with my computer. It still wasn't done. All told it took closer to two hours. Now, granted I was getting paid for those two hours but I couldn't do what I really needed to be doing.

The good news is that once it was all said and done with I was very happy. The computer is a lot better, and I much prefer the new operating system.

The rest of the work day went off without a hitch. Then it came time to go home. Yeah, that wasn't as easy as it sounds. The road was blocked off by cops. There didn't seem to be a reason for it. There was no accident and the traffic lights were working fine. It just seemed to be that intersection that was blocked. And of course that was the only road that led to the interstate, which is really the only way I know home. So I did some creative driving and found my way into a parking lot that had an exit out onto the street I needed to take to get to the interstate. I get maybe half way there and guess what? More fucking cops blocking the intersection. What the fuck?!

Like I said, I don't know another way home but apparently I was going to half to figure out a different way fast. I don't have a GPS, so I was kind of left to my own wits and creativity. I made a quick call to Master to let Him know what was going on and that I would be running pretty late. I didn't want Him freaking out and thinking I had gotten into an accident.

So I pick a major road and head East. I figured as long as I continued to go East eventually I would find a cross street that I recognized. And I was right! It took a while, but I found one and then headed South. Once we started passing signs pointing to on ramps for the interstate the passenger in my carpool suggested we try getting on the interstate. I shook my head no and explained that we would be stuck in traffic as it was now the middle of rush hour.

He didn't seem to happy about it as he apparently thought that we would get home sooner if we went on the interstate. Too bad. I'm the one driving. And I was right, as soon as we could see traffic on the interstate it was bumper to bumper.

It took a lot longer to get home, but we got there simply by me just to keep going in one direction until I found a street that I know. I finally dropped him off about 40 minutes late. I understand why he was agitated. I was too. It's fucking Friday, everyone wants to get home as soon as possible.

After I dropped him off I hit the gas station and finally came home. I must have looked pretty pissed off when I walked in because Master looked at me kind of funny and asked why I was looking at Him like I wanted to kill Him. *laughs*

I have since just been trying to decompress. I was going to go into work tomorrow for a few hours but then I heard that they are shutting off a huge section of interstate starting tonight until late Sunday morning. And guess what stretch it is? It's all of the on ramps that are within 30 minutes of our home. And that's both ways. So I would have to deal with it both on the way out there and on the way back. Plus tonight just frustrated the fuck out of me.

Big Heart

I have a big heart when it comes to animals. I feel bad every time I see one without a home. This is why we adopt our animals. I prefer to save one basically. Yes, dogs born from breeders need homes too. But there are a lot of people who want pure bred dogs and are willing to pay for it. Not everyone wants a mutt. Me? I love mutts. As does Master.

This is why I cannot go into an animal shelter unless I'm there looking to adopt an animal. I would walk out with one or at the very least feel horrible leaving without one.

The other day my cousin contacted me via text. I haven't talked to this girl in years. Anyway, her and her husband are looking to re-home one of their dogs. What amazes me is they literally got her five months ago. I told her that unfortunately we don't have the room or finances for another dog right now, other wise I would love to. It was hard saying no, but I know we have limitations and if you cannot care for the animal properly, you don't get the animal. That's all there is to it.

Although, since they had the dog such a short period of time I did ask why they were looking for a new home for her. Apparently she is currently pregnant with child number three. They didn't know this when they adopted this dog. This dog isn't even a year yet. She won't be a year old until October. So, since she still has a lot of puppy in her and she is a high energy dog, they know that they can't take care of her and a newborn at the same time.

I'm glad that they are being responsible about it though. I wished her luck in finding a good home for the pup, but that was all I could do.

We have been watching that Dog Whisperer show again. I love that show. But I get a little jealous whenever you see his pack of about 30 dogs or so. I would love to be able to have a large pack of dogs like that. Don't get me wrong, I love our dog very, very much. But it would be nice to have more dogs for us to love and care for and for him to be friends with.

Cook Out

This Saturday we are going down to visit Master's family. Well, His dad's side of the family anyway. They are a rather large group. Larger than we are used to anyway. It will be our first time down at His brother's house. So we're kind of nervous and excited about it. Why? Well, it seems that we are taking bigger and bigger steps with that side of the family, which is a great thing!

We've been invited our to lunch and dinner for a couple of years now. And then beginning last November we have been invited to more family functions. Birthdays and such and now a cook out. I think it's wonderful.

So, in order of age, aside from myself this is who will be there:

Master's dad
Master
Master's half-brother
Half-brother's wife
Master's half-sister #1
Master's half-sister #2
Master's half-sister #3
Master's niece
Master's nephew

We aren't too sure whether or not His dad's wife will be there or not. She does not like Master at all and so she tries not to be around us as much as possible. I'm pretty sure that my father-in-law's second wife will be there. She is the mother of half-brother and half-sister #1. And she's awesome! I really like her. My father-in-law's third and current wife is the mother of half-sister #2 and #3. Master's mom is never invited to such functions and never will be.

Although I will say that if we ever have an anniversary party or something along those lines where the whole family, His and mine, are invited it'll be really interesting to see how His mom reacts. I personally think it'll be hilarious. My brother has already met my father-in-law, my brother-in-law and the nephew. They got along great.

I'm excited because this is a big step. And all this means is that our relationship, and more importantly Master's relationship with that side of the family is growing stronger. That makes me extremely happy. And you can just tell that Master's dad is as pleased as punch that all of his children are getting along and getting to know one another better.

We have been messaging back and forth with all of those people to try and figure all of this out. Well today we finally decided who is bringing what. At first they said we didn't have to bring anything at all. I'm sure in the hell not about to go to their house for the first time for a cook out and not bring anything at all. So we offered to bring chips. It's simple but it's a cook out damn it. Plus, they had all the meats and what not covered.

I'm really looking forward to this.

Lucky Girl

I am a very lucky girl. I'm lucky because I have a man that loves me and wants to make me smile. He knows how stressed out I am. Not only because He listens to my whining/bitching when I need to vent or just simply tell Him about my day.

But because He notices things. He sees that I look tired all the time. He can see the stress on my face. He sees how much pain I'm in, more so than usual. As a result He has been doing His very best to cheer me up and make sure that I'm relaxing as much as possible while I'm home. He has been giving me back rubs, giving me extra long hugs when I get home from work.. you know.. small stuff like that. But it all helps. He's been acting more goofy than usual to try and get me to smile, even if I smile while asking Him what the hell is wrong with Him.

My Master loves goofing around, especially when He knows He is making me laugh. He is allowing me to be more lazy than usual. I'm pretty much a bump on the couch the majority of the night. I peel myself off the couch in order to help take care of the animals, do my blog post, and take my shower.

That's about it.

But He's letting me get away with it, which I appreciate.

Oh! And He's been watching stupid shit with me. Stupid shit that He doesn't particularly care for. What? Well, you see.. I'm somewhat addicted to talk shows/court shows.

Okay so on the court show side, I love Judge Judy, Divorce Court and Judge Joe Brown. Master doesn't mind Judge Joe Brown but the others He just tolerates so I can watch them.

The talk shows? Well.... yeah. They are kinda white trashy. *laughs* Jerry Springer and Maury! I like Jerry Springer because well.. it's trash! I love watching the fucked up drama and the fights. As far as Maury goes, it's the paternity tests and lie detector test shows that I love. More drama! Whoo-hoo!

See what I mean about the white trashy type thing? Yeah. He's been playing those for me. He gets into it a little sometimes. Like when someone lands a good hit on Jerry Springer. Maury? I think He just shakes His head at the stupidity. But the point is, that He puts up with it so I can watch it. And He knows that I prefer watching stuff with Him rather than watching it myself. So He's been sitting through it.

I love Him.

Working Myself Up

Sometimes, even though I'm medicated, I can emotional over react to some things. Not nearly as bad as I did prior to my medication. And I understand that medication is not a cure. I'll still have my good and my bad days. I know this. That doesn't mean it doesn't fucking suck.

Today was one of those days. I had a knot in my stomach the minute I got in the car to go to work. Just an uneasy feeling. I don't know if it's because I want a new job and I'm sick of this one, or if it's because seven people have been fired in the last 30 days which is honestly a record high for that place. We aren't that large of an office.

As a result I was stressing myself out, as I am known to do. I contacted Master on my lunch break to tell Him and He told me to just breathe and calm myself down. There is no use in working myself up because then I'll just make myself stress out even more.

He's right, of course.

I was eventually able to calm down enough where that knot in my stomach went away. I got approved for eight hours of overtime this week. That's a lot honestly. More than I thought I would get. What sucks the most though is that I'll most likely end up having to work Saturday. It doesn't suck just because it's a Saturday. But it also sucks because we have plans to see His dad's side of the family on Saturday. That's not until 3pm though so I would go in early, obviously. I'm not about to cancel our plans with His family. We don't see them all that often.

I told Master this and He is just more worried about me burning myself out and wearing myself too thin. I told Him I'm not going to cancel and He said that He understands that but He is worried about me. I react to stress physically. Not only does my fibromyalgia kick into high gear, like today, but I get pale,  I am tired all the time, my appetite goes right out the window which isn't a good thing because of my blood sugar issues.

So, while I have these eight hours of overtime approved I highly doubt I'll be able to pull it off within the next four days. I did an extra 45 minutes today. I would have done more but I wasn't sure what the approval amount was going to be and I wanted to be able to spread it out if it was a low number. This is why I think I'll end up going in on Saturday. I do get a four day weekend next week though due to Memorial Day. So at least I'll have that to look forward to if/when I have to work on Saturday.

Right now I'm just trying to decompress and will try to not stress myself out so much by working myself up.

When I got home tonight though the first thing that happened was that Master came over to me, gave me a hug, and held me close for a little while. That was really nice, and very much needed and appreciated.

Bittersweet

Sundays are always so bittersweet. I've had a great weekend. It's actually gone by slower than I thought it would, which is a very good thing. We went to hang out with my dad on Friday. Yesterday we pretty much lazed about and fucked. And today, so far, we've just lazed about the apartment.

I'm posting earlier than usual because Master wants me to get my nightly routine out of the way so the rest of the night doesn't seem so rushed.

Normally I don't start my nightly routine until about 8:30pm. And since 9pm is when we take care of the animals as soon as that time comes and goes it feels like it's time to go to bed already. My bedtime is normally between 11pm and 11:30pm. So the night past night goes in a blink of an eye for me.

It's not so much that I don't want to go to work. It's more I just know what the hell I'm walking into and it overwhelms me some days. Especially with all the bullshit that's going on at the company. It's making me anxious to find a new job. But I can't compromise too much on what I'm looking for because that would fuck us over in the long run.

And it seems like most of the jobs I'm finding are either further out than my current job, don't pay well enough or are only part time or just a temp position. Nope. Can't do that. Plus all the places that are reaching out to me are insurance companies. Ugh. No! I cannot afford to go to commission rather than straight hourly or salary. I cannot depend on how well sales are going. Plus, I suck at sales anyway. I'm better at regular office work or call center work.

Something has to come along eventually. I just hope it's sooner rather than later. I know I've been talking about it a lot lately but it's constantly in my mind, swimming around in there. I'm almost stuck on it because I'm trying to figure out the best way of doing things, what direction to go, etc.

Husband & Wife

We went to my dad's yesterday just to hang out. I had found out that my dad now has a long distance girlfriend. Okay. Cool. But.... it's someone I know. She was a friend of the family and would come over for cook outs and just to sit around and chill with my mom and dad. (My parents were still married at the time. They didn't get a divorce until I was 17 years old.)

In fact, I went to this woman's wedding when she married another family friend. Her three kids would come over with her and her then husband all the time. I kind of grew up with this woman being around. I don't know why but that makes me feel a little awkward about it. Like.. Dude.. you and my mom were constantly drinking tea/coffee and chatting away. Not to mention the fact that she told my dad that she always had a thing for him. So, you had a crush on my dad and flirted with him while he was married to my mother and you were hanging out with my mom. Anyway, apparently she had moved out of state quite some time ago. Probably shortly before my parents got divorced. She divorced her first husband because he cheated on her. Then she divorced her second husband because he cheated on her.

I guess one of the things that my dad had told her is, "You don't have to worry about that with me."

When he told us that he had said that to her, Master and I just got really, really quiet. He cheated on my mom for close to a year before finally telling her about it and filing for divorce. He then stayed with that woman for 10 years and cheated on her for about three or four months before he broke up with her and she moved out. But.. I wasn't going to comment. If dad feels he is past such things, okay cool. But that is kind of a record there, ya know?

Now, that may sound like I'm being a hypocrite. I, after all, cheated on my ex with Master. I did it for a couple of weeks before breaking it off. Master was also in a relationship at the time and the time frame was pretty much right on the money since we had agreed we were going to pretty much do it around the same time.

So yes, I have cheated in a past relationship. However, doing it in one relationship... okay. You made a bad decision. You could have handled it better. But not only does my dad have a record of it, he allows quite a lengthy period of time to go by before finally breaking it off. Two weeks versus up to a year? Yeah.

I don't really judge my dad. He does what he wants and it's not my place to comment on it as it does not directly effect me. But it was just something I didn't want to comment on so I was quiet for a short period of time before basically smoothly directing the conversation into a different direction.

One thing my dad has said since he divorced my mother 13 years ago was that he would never, ever get married again. Okay. No problem. Whatever makes you happy. But he does sometimes make comments about how people who get married are making a horrible mistake. Never mind he was married to my mother for 25 years. When he does make those comments he always looks over and says, "But not you guys.. you guys are happy and I'm happy for you."

Maybe not those exact words all the time, but close to it. He was happy when I first told him that Master and I were getting married. All he told Master was, "No receipt. No return. No warranty." And then he turned to me and said, "Don't fuck it up."

I do have to say that sometimes I feel that a particular couple should not get married and that one or both of them should run for the fucking hills. But those are the exception to the rule I guess.

I love being married. It is honestly not any different in how our relationship was prior to marriage. It's just the added benefits. Such as the legal aspects. That takes a lot off my mind should anything, gods forbid, happen. Also, being able to call Him my Husband rather than my boyfriend makes me very happy. And being called His wife rather than His girlfriend also makes me very happy. It just.. carries more weight I guess. It doesn't mean that we weren't serious while "just dating". It just means that we decided to make it legal/official.

Leaving The Ship

This post is actually supposed to be for my 05/10/13 post. However, I had taken a nap on the couch until 9pm, when Master woke me up so we could take care of the animals and then I got back on the couch and apparently fell back asleep until about 15 minutes ago. So it's now after midnight. I feel bad about it honestly. Master said not to worry about it.

He knows how work has been as well as other stresses that had been on my mind for the past few days. Events at work today did not help. Today one of the employees that is not in my department but I had gotten along with was fired today. I have no idea why honestly. But that is the seventh person within less than a 30 day period that has been fired. In the four years I have worked there, that is the most I have ever seen. Hell, I only remember two employees being fired within a 30 day period.

So, either more and more people are fucking up pretty badly or they are cutting down the staff size. They aren't really letting us know this part, but we are losing some work from our clients. Not in my department, as we have been busy as fuck, but in parts of the larger departments that are normally swamped beyond belief year round. And guess what? My department isn't their big money maker. Even still, two of people in my department were recently fired. One I understood completely, but the other not so much.

On the way home from work the passenger in my carpool and I were discussing all this. I learned something though. He admitted that if he could find a different job with the same pay and a little closer to home he would jump in a heart beat. So he is basically along the same line of thinking that I am. I didn't allude to the fact that I am currently job hunting but I did tell him that I felt the same way. And the bad part is that we are both really good employees. We shouldn't feel like that. But here we are. The other thing that ticked us off is that an employee who has been there less than six months got employee of the month. I have been there four years and the passenger in the carpool has been there five years and neither of us have ever won. It's a popularity contest as you have to be nominated by "x" amount of people to be considered. So it's not really based on your work performance.

That's the other thing we have noticed. All of the people getting cut loose have been there for four years or more. I think it's one of those, "We can get someone in here who is cheaper to do this." situations. So, that's uncomfortable as well.

As a result I will be doubling my job hunting efforts. I honestly don't think I'm going to get fired, but I have that the rats should be leaving the ship feeling in my stomach that I had at my last job. It's not a pleasant sensation.

Bad Dreams

I had bad dreams all night last night. I don't remember what the hell they were about, which just makes it worse. I was tossing and turning all night. I woke up randomly and then went into a half sleep, which was highly annoying.

I think I kept Master up as well, which I feel bad about. I've always kind of wondered how the hell you know that you've had a bad dream but you don't remember what the fuck it was about. If I don't remember what it was about how can I know I had a bad dream? I guess it's just the feeling you have when you wake up. I don't know.

That feeling stuck with me most of the day. I've just had a blah mood and just felt kind of spaced out. I feel rather cuddly and affectionate. So I've been randomly hugging Master and kissing His forward and other random things like that.

It's a good thing He is an affectionate person. It would be awkward if He wasn't. I'm a very affectionate person and even more so when I'm like this. For example, on my way over to the computer to do my blog post I stopped by His chair and kissed His forehead a couple of times and He just smiled.

I'm glad that tomorrow is Friday and that Master and I pretty much have the whole weekend to ourselves except for tomorrow when we visit my dad for a while. But that's not a big deal since Master and my dad get along like best friends when they are around each other.

Hopefully tonight I'll sleep without a problem. The funny thing is that I don't feel tired at all. You would think that since I didn't get a good night's sleep that I would be exhausted, especially after the kind of work day I had, but I'm wide awake. I'm just blah.