September 2, 2014

Too Much

Today is my grandfather's 75th birthday. The birthday that the doctors have been saying he wouldn't reach. They have been saying that for four months. Well, as of 3:43am he is still alive. Honestly everyone is confused as to how the hell he is still here. Apparently even the doctors don't understand. And if doctors don't understand how, there is no way we'll be able to.

Aside from that this week has been extremely stressful. Master and I are of course worried about our mutt. We won't have any sort of update until Friday. It's now Tuesday. I wish we could have answers now, but if we took him in before Friday we wouldn't be able to receive a full update as he wouldn't have had enough time on the medication. If it was possible and made sense I would move the appointment up, but it doesn't so we wait.

We have been giving him his medication as directed. The antibiotics are are real big pain to get done since it has to go in his eye and is an ointment rather than eye drops. But we do the best we can and honestly the dog is getting a little better about it. I can't blame him for being a pain when it's time to do it though. I can barely handle putting eye drops in my own eyes on the few occasions when I've had to. I know I'd be much worse about an ointment.

He is still eating, drinking, and using the bathroom normally. He still wants pets and cuddle time. He is still sleeping quite a bit but that is to be expected. His eye is still cloudy but at this point I don't know if it's 100% because of the scratch, if it's part of the healing process, or if it's because of the ointment as it is rather thick. Like I said, we won't have any answers until Friday.

He was really, really good about me putting on the new "cone of shame" last night. He still bumps into things and what not but that's to be expected. I can't say I would be too graceful with a cone around my head. But it is necessary. Thankfully he only needs it when he is left alone, which means while we are sleeping. He hasn't been left alone as in both of us left the apartment at the same time. We don't feel comfortable with that. So it only goes on at night while we are both sleeping. However, I have still been sleeping in the living room rather than in bed with Master. It's not because I don't want to be in bed with my Master. I obviously do. I love sleeping next to Him. However, right now I think it is best if I sleep in the living room where the dog is so I can hear what he is doing... just in case. Yes, I am a huge worrier. But I always have been.

Also, the move is this week. We'll be moving either Saturday or Sunday. We haven't completely figured that out because we don't know which day we can get help. Master and I can do a lot of it on our own but there are some key items that He will need help moving. It's not that I won't help Him with them it's just the pure and simple fact that they are too heavy for me to handle. Our original plan was Sunday but today Master said that if we can get the help we need on Saturday He would prefer that day. I'll find out tomorrow whether or not that is feasible.

We are starting to pack a bit more. I got enough boxes and we have two suitcases and three totes. Two of the totes don't have lids but that's not a big deal. We just won't put anything breakable in them. However today (Tuesday) I won't be home most of the day due to my having to handle some things where we will be moving to. Then on Wednesday my father needs Master's help with finally clearing out Grandpa's house. This honestly should have been done months and months ago but hey... There is nothing I could have done to speed it up.

Since I won't be home tomorrow Master will be here with the mutt and on Wednesday He'll be gone and I'll be with the mutt.

*sigh* Isn't this week done yet? 


August 31, 2014

Gentle Giant *Small Update*

Friday started off so well. It really did. We had plans to meet up with my father, finally. But since we were already going to be in town and we weren't going to see my dad until the mid to late afternoon we decided to stop at my mom's house first and visit for a while. We brought our dog with us. He had a great time running around and playing. Master and I had a good time as well.

When it came time to go to my dad's house we headed out and when we showed up we kept our dog on his leash for a while so that he would calm down. My dad has a cat and they had never met before. Honestly, we were worried about our dog hurting the cat. Not because our dog is aggressive, but because he's a hound and well... sometimes ya worry about the dog looking at a cat or other small animal as prey and going after it.

After a while the cat was up on the kitchen counter relaxing and stared at our dog. No big deal. Our dog pretty much completely ignored the cat. But since everyone was calm we asked Dad if it would be okay to let our dog off the leash. He said fine.

So our mutt starts walking around my dad's place smelling absolutely everything because, like I said, he is a hound mix.

I stood in the kitchen just to make sure that our mutt didn't try jumping up on it. He's very tall. Since that is where the cat was I didn't want the mutt popping up onto the counter.

Well, apparently it wasn't the dog we had to worry about. My dad's cat is not declawed. We knew this and we also knew that his cat had lived with dogs before. Granted they were smaller dogs but we had seen the cat running around and playing with the dogs that were living there until my dad's girlfriend at the time moved out.

Our mutt started sniffing along the bottom of the counter, right under the lip of it that protrudes from the cabinets. The cat was pretty far back on the counter so I didn't think anything of it. Then as quick as fucking lightning the cat moved forward and swatted at the dog. He was like a fucking cobra. That's how fast it happened. Our mutt barked and then tucked his tail and ran into the other room. I was honestly very surprised by this and so was everyone else. Normally when an animal attacks another animal they react in kind. But not our mutt. Nope. He ran.

I honestly thought at first that the cat had clawed our mutt's muzzle like a warning shot. Like I said the hit was so fast that it didn't even really register until after the fact. After a few minutes though we all noticed that our dog wasn't opening his eye. Guess where the cat got him? Yep. The fucking eye. This fact only surprises me more in so far as our dog not trying to hurt the cat afterward.

But nope. We all gave him pets and cuddles telling him it would be okay. We left shortly there after. I called our vet about it. He was still keeping his eye closed most of the time but was trying to open it now and again. I've scratched my own eye and I know how much it hurts and burns so I figured that was why he was keeping it closed. Our vet clinic was already closed but I got a hold of the on call vet and he said to take our dog in as soon as the clinic opened in the morning. He said to just occasionally put a damp washcloth over his eye very, very gently every now and then. 

The vet clinic opened yesterday at 9am. Because I thought traffic was going to be worse we actually ended up getting there at 8:30am. So we just sat in the car. I kept the windows open and all that to make sure we were cool.

About two minutes before they opened we were waiting at the door and as soon as it was unlocked we walked in. Apparently the on call vet from the night before had called and let the vet on duty yesterday morning know that we were coming in and why.

They had to put drops in his eye to stain it so they could see it better. The cat had scratched the lens of his eye. There is an opaque spot right where the scratch is. She told me that she was prescribing him with an anti-inflammatory/pain killer that he can take orally, half of a pill twice a day. She also prescribed an antibiotic ointment that we have to put directly on his eye three times a day.

She checked and he still has partial vision in that eye even with the swelling that was occurring. She did tell me that she wants us back there in a week. I immediately made the follow-up appointment for this upcoming Friday. That's technically a day before a full week since the appointment has passed but she said that would be fine. She told me to continue to use the pill and the ointment everyday until the appointment.

She did tell me that there is a possibility that he either may only have partial vision in that eye after it heals or no vision at all after it heals. She also stated that if his eye ruptures he would have to have the eye removed. That is the absolute worst case scenario although she assured me that if that should have to happen, gods forbid, that the quality of his life would not go down at all.

However, she did say since that since he still has partial vision in that eye currently it is a good sign.

Our mutt has been eating and drinking and using the bathroom normally. He is sleeping a lot but the vet said that the pill and ointment may make him tired. Needless to say we are letting him sleep as much as he wants. Sleep promotes healing after all. I just pray that there are no complications and that he gets a clean bill of health next Friday.

Both Master and I are very upset. The more we thought about it the more upset we got. Of course we are upset about our pup and hoping that everything turns out okay but we are also upset about it happening at all.

We understand that the dog was just being a dog and the cat was just being a cat however... it's really, really hard to not be pissed off about it. I mean he is our kid. Plain and simple. And our kid is hurt and we can only do what the vet prescribes and hope for the best. That is a horrible feeling. And it's not even like it was an accident. I mean I know none of us thought that this would happen, obviously. Because if any of us did we never would have brought our dog down there with us to visit. This is a fact where basically someone's kid injured ours. And while that saying of kids will be kids, just like dogs and cats will be dogs and cats, it doesn't stop you from being pissed off about it.

One of the things that pisses us off is the fact that if this had been the other way around and our dog hurt the cat, our dog would most likely have been put down.

But not our gentle giant. Not our hound dog. Nope. Rather than retaliate, when he had absolutely every reason and right to, he ran and found his dad, Master, to seek comfort. And even though it hurt he has been the same sweet and loving dog he always is. When the vet was checking him he obviously didn't like it and kept trying to move away, but he didn't growl or even raise his lip at any point and he doesn't know her.  I mean this is the same vet clinic we go to all the time but he has only ever had to go in for his yearly checkup. The only other time he had to was shortly after we got him because we discovered he had a wheat allergy and a tape worm. So we had to go to an appointment for that as well as a follow-up. But that was four years ago.

The vet did send us home with a "cone of shame", which is actually called an Elizabeth collar. She said that he doesn't have to wear it as long as someone is able to keep a close eye on him because he cannot be allowed to paw at his eye at all as he could easily damage it further without meaning too. This means he has to wear it at night because we'll both be sleeping. Neither of us are crazy about that idea as he has never worn one before, at least not while he has been with us.

So, I took a nap earlier this evening. Now Master is in bed sleeping and I am staying up late so our pup doesn't have to wear it any longer than he has to. I'll put it on him right before I go to bed and I'll be sleeping out here, in the living room, with the dog just to make sure I can hear him if he tries to take it off or anything along those lines. I don't want to make him have to wear it but I am also not going to go against the vet's advice. I want to give him the absolute best chance possible of having his vision go back to normal. We've already had to stop him from doing it while we're in the same room so I can't imagine how much he'll try to do it when we're sleeping. And sure as hell I just had to stop doing my post to tell him to leave his eye alone. He literally woke up just to try and paw at it. Yep. No way we can sleep without him wearing it. I don't want him to injure himself further. I mean, he obviously wouldn't be trying to but that's because he doesn't know better.

Master and I are both very emotional and will be quite some time. The emotions range from worry to being utterly pissed off.

I will say that we are spoiling the hell out of our mutt. The vet said that was just fine, especially since he should get his rest and have food in his stomach through out the day so he doesn't have an empty stomach with the meds in his system. We can't allow the pup to eat his actual food whenever he wants, he has a very specific feeding schedule, but instead we give him treats.

I will also say that putting that ointment on his eye is a huge pain in the ass. I don't get mad at him for it or anything. I just try and make sure that I get enough on there without over doing it. The vet told me how much to put on but she also told me that because no dog wants their eye to be messed with, it would be difficult and to just do the best we could. Trust me, we are.

I just want to say this one more time... That cat is damn lucky that our dog didn't retaliate. 

**UPDATE**

It's honestly not much of an update. Last night I stayed up until about 5:30am to keep an eye on the mutt. Right before I wanted to go to sleep I put the "cone of shame" on him. However, it is the kind where you have to slide it over his head so I didn't really feel that comfortable once I saw how close it got to his eye when I was putting it on him. And of course as usual when you put one of those on a pet they bang into shit. I took it off as he couldn't lay down comfortably with it. As a result I set four alarms on my cell phone. I set each a hour apart. I slept on Master's recliner so that the dog could have full use of the couch if he wanted to sleep there. Each time my alarm went off I checked on the mutt to make sure he wasn't pawing at it. I caught him doing it once. I immediately got him to stop. I stayed up for about 20 minutes after that to make sure he wouldn't try to do it again but he just fell right back to sleep.

After the last alarm I just stayed up. I gave him his pain pill/anti-inflammatory. After that I somehow managed to put the ointment in his eye by myself. Admittedly it is a lot easier when Master is helping but it needed to be done.

After Master got up I gave Him the update on how the night went and that I already already given him the meds. I then I ran to the pet store. I had bought him a fleece bed for his crate but it was too small. So I exchanged that for the correct size. I also bought a nylon "cone of shame". I don't have to slide it over his head so I don't have to worry about it coming too close to his eye when I put it on and it'll do the same job the plastic one would do. Also it'll conform so that when he lays down he will be more comfortable. And since it is nylon and not hard plastic he shouldn't bang into things and have a hard time backing up or anything.  

August 28, 2014

Grrrrr **Updated**

It is highly annoying when I am waiting for a response back to a phone call or text. I sent my father a text about something important that needs to happen like now. We spoke about this previously and he said to just contact him a little later letting him know what day would be good for us. A few days ago I asked if it would be okay to do it on Thursday (today). He sent me a text back saying he would have to get back to me. Then, on Thursday itself, he sent me a text saying that Thursday wouldn't be any good because "something came up" and he wouldn't be home. Um. Okay? He then sent another text asking if tomorrow (Friday) would be good for us. I said, "Yeah, no problem. I just need to know what time." I figured that since he suggested the day he would have a time frame in mind. I was mistaken. He said "I'll have to get back to you. Love you." I simply responded by telling him that I love him too.

This was all at around 11:30am today. I have been waiting since then for him to get back to me. Finally around 7:30pm I sent him a follow up text. I tried my best to make it seem very nonchalant. Like, "Hey pops.. just wondering..." type thing. A half hour later I still hadn't received a response. So I called him. No answer. I left a voice mail saying, "I wasn't sure if you had received my text so I thought it would be best to just call."

I know damn well the text went through but my dad is one of those people who absolutely hates to be what he calls "badgered". If he feels that is happening he will either a) not respond at all or b) push things back even further. So when I need to get a hold of him about something important I am normally stuck just waiting for him to get back to me or to wait a good long while and then try again while being very calm about it and acting as if I don't mean to bother him.

I do, in fact, mean to bother him of course. But I know the man way too well to push my luck. I honestly think I'm the only one in my family who knows how to "handle" my father. My mother never did which is part of the reason why they got a divorce after 25 years of being together. My brother is exactly like my father in so far as his attitude. If anything he is worse because he is obviously younger. When my dad was younger he was worse than he is now. He had a much shorter temper. My brother pretty much matches how our father was 25 years ago. My dad is going to be 52 in about a week and my brother is 29. This is part of the reason why my father and brother don't always get along.

Meanwhile here I am playing by my father's rules so things don't blow up in my face.

I'm just really hoping that my father gets back to me at some point tonight before he goes to bed. Never mind it's 8:40pm now. *sigh* I have a feeling that I'm going to wake up to a text from my dad with either a last minute time to show up or for him trying to put it off another day. I'm hoping I'm wrong and he does actually get back to me in the next hour or two. It would be nice.

**UPDATE**

Well, here it is a little after 1am on what is now technically Friday. All evening I have been waiting on a text or call from my father. About 10 minutes ago Master was on a social networking website and mentioned that apparently my father is home because he just posted something. So I not so subtly commented on it telling him to check his text messages. I put a stupid little smiley face at the end to kind of soften it. Like I said, I know how to "handle" my father. And what do you know I get a text not even two minutes later. He apologized and said he had just gotten back home. He told me that he has an oil change appointment tomorrow at 1pm and that he would call me after that was done.

Annoying point number one is that it makes absolutely no sense to wait for him to call once his oil change is done since it takes us about a hour to get down there. So why not just have us meet at your place at 2pm? But no. That's not how he wants to handle it so whatever... So rather than doing anything makes sense I'll have to wait for him to get home and then call me saying it's okay to come down so that we can head out and get there a hour later.

Annoying point number two gets on my nerves a lot. I had jokingly asked him why he was getting home so late. Apparently the thing that "came up" as to why today wasn't good for us to come down was because he went out with a bunch of old high school friends. Excuse me?!

*deep breath*

His high school reunion was about a month ago.. Okay maybe not a full month but pretty damn close to it. He will freely admit that he was highly unpopular in high school and will tell you how much he absolutely hated it. But hey, now 35 years later all of a sudden he's the bell of the mother fucking ball. Apparently going out to hang out with his new found high school buddies and going out because "he needed to" was more important than getting this done and out of the way as it would resolve a couple of things for Master and I. There is a damn time frame! A pretty short one actually and here you are pushing us off another day because your 51 year old ass decides he wants to feel 18 again for a night.

Now... did I say any of that in text or respond in any way, shape, or form as if it bothered me at all? Hell no. This is my father we're talking about. I damn well know better. So I said, "Gotcha. Well, just let me know once your oil change is done when it would be okay to come down."

I understand that he is under stress over my grandfather, his father, and everything that comes with that situation but seriously? It's not like anyone else is stressed out. Nope. Not at all. I am perfectly fucking relaxed.

*sigh*

Given what all is going on though all I can really do is vent to Master who is in the exact same situation I'm in so it's mainly just preaching to the choir. I can't blow up at my dad. That would be very, very bad for me. I'm just hoping that he doesn't call us tomorrow after his oil change and push it off again. I won't yell but I will speak up a bit about how this really, really needs to get done.

Preperations

(This post is technically a day late as it is being done after midnight. I asked Master if I was going to be punished and He said no since I am doing it before I go to bed. My days are running together more and more so I'm losing track of the days of the week and the dates of the month more frequently. It's highly annoying and aggravating.)

We are now starting to make preparations to start packing. It's not going to make any sense to actually start packing for a little while yet since we'll still be using everything daily. However, we started doing a little bit of sorting today. Not very much but it was a start. We threw out some more things that we won't be taking with us. We also started to designate what is going in such and such a box with what. They are just small things but at least something was getting done.

My mother has lent us three tubs (the storage tubs kind of like tupperware only huge) and I am starting to ask stores for empty boxes. I was able to get three today at our local gas station. I went to another store today to do a little bit of shopping and asked them if they had any boxes. They told me that they had just received a new shipment today and to come back again tomorrow late afternoon/early evening and ask again. The manager was kind enough to leave a note for the staff tomorrow so that they won't throw any out.

I know that you can actually buy boxes for moving but that has never, ever made sense to me. Why would I pay for empty boxes to put stuff in once just to throw them away once I'm done? I would rather go around to local stores and ask for them. I don't find it embarrassing or anything like some people might. Hey, I need boxes because I'm moving. What is so embarrassing about that?

As far as clothing I just put them in bags. There is no need to put clothing in boxes in my opinion. Bags are easier to transport anyway. The only things going in boxes are books, DVDs, CDs, fragile items, and collectables. All of the electronics, except for the TV and computer, are going in their original boxes as we always save those. The TV and computer will be wrapped in towels and are going to be safely transported in a car, as well as the other electronics, rather than in a moving truck.

Anything going in a box that is breakable will be wrapped in newspaper, which we will also get for free since my mother gets the paper and recycles them, and then marked fragile.

Really the only thing I'll have to pay for, aside from the u-haul truck rental, is a permanent marker and a roll of mailing tape and I can get both of those at the dollar store. I'm frugal aka cheap. We'll start doing things more and more now to start getting shit done and packing things up that we can go without until the move is over.

August 25, 2014

Business As Usual

As anyone who ever reads the comments may have noticed all of this "mysterious" and "unnamed" talk has been about an unexpected move that is getting closer and closer. Our lease renewal had been received and when we saw how much the rent was going to be we quickly realized that we would not be able to live here any longer. The rent had gone up an astronomical amount. Most likely because of most of their properties being empty.

The ones that are/were full have been very short term tenants. I'm talking about people staying for less than a year, sometimes less than three months. Master has lived here for ten years and I have lived here for nine years. Every year, sure as shit, the rent would go up. It went up regardless of the fact that they were doing less and less upkeep of the property and when we called with a legitimate complaint we were told either it was their vendors fault or it was a tenant issue. What the fuck kind of happy horse shit is that? When they finally did get around to correcting something it was such a slap together fix that it was almost laughable.

As a result, we have had to make a mad dash of finding somewhere else to live. It has been extremely stressful and emotional. It's not even as if we enjoy living here. It's just the fact that we've been here so long and it felt like a smack in the face when we saw the lease renewal. They couldn't make their money off of new tenants so they had to gouge the long term ones. The only other couple who have been here longer than us has complained about the same thing.

We have about two and a half weeks before we have to be up and out of here.

Until then we are pretty much living as we normally would. It won't take long to pack this place up and there really isn't a huge need to rent a u-haul until a few days before hand. We also will not be taking everything with us since we won't have room for some of it. Not much to be done about it.

I'm sure there will be a brief period of time where I won't be able to post since it will take a little while to get the move done, settled in, and the internet hooked up. But for now it's business as usual.

August 23, 2014

Very Docile

Yesterday afternoon Master and I went into the bedroom to fool around. Before we got undressed and got into bed I went into the bedroom, grabbed my favorite vibrator, and put batteries in it. I then turned off the main bedroom light and turned on the lamp on the dresser instead.

When Master got into the bedroom I got undressed and slid into bed. Master pulled me to Him and chewed on my neck for a little while before molesting my tits and eating me out. After I got off I thought He was going to maneuver me so that I could suck His dick and was honestly surprised when He didn't. Instead He had me stay on my back and entered me. He allowed me to cum twice before putting me onto all fours.

I had put the vibrator on the headboard and made sure that the lube was handy. I handed the lube to Him and grabbed the vibrator. He pumped some lube onto His hand and slicked Himself up and then put some on me as well.

He slowly and gently pushed the head of His cock into my ass. He then paused as I had asked Him to put more lube on the top of His shaft.

Each time He enters my ass I realize exactly how thick His cock is. Don't get me wrong, I know He has a very thick cock. And it's not like my pussy isn't tight. It is. Master comments on that constantly. But it's a completely different sensation. And since my ass is obviously tighter than my pussy it is even more noticeable than usual.

It wasn't easy for me to relax at first. I put the vibrator to my clit and got off from that. After that it was easier for me to relax although the sensations were rather extreme. It was a bit painful at first but incredibly overwhelming the entire time. I ended up lowering my upper body to the mattress while keeping my ass in the air. It didn't matter how much measured breathing I did I couldn't get over the overwhelming sensation. I got off again but that only added to the stimulation. It wasn't really a bad thing. It was just... intense.

Master commented on how much He had missed this. He had missed fucking my ass.

I am slightly ashamed to admit that I couldn't handle it for very long. Soon the overwhelming sensation turned into over stimulation and it started to hurt again. Not in a holy hell I'm going to start screaming type way, but I was starting to shake because every nerve in my body seemed to be over stimulated

I was honest with Master immediately though. I said, "Master I'm not sure how long I can handle this."

He gently pushed down on my hips so they were a little closer to the mattress and He knelt down more. He told me that I was a good girl and that all I had to do was lay still while He plowed my ass. And that is exactly what He did. He fucked my ass hard and filled my ass with His cum. The sensation of Him cumming tipped me over the edge and even though my body was already over stimulated I got off again.

He stayed still for a little while as His after shocks twitched inside of me causing me to gasp deeply each time. He told me that I would have to be the one who moved. I knelt up slightly causing His cock to go in a little deeper before slowly moving forward, allowing His dick to slip out of my ass.

Almost immediately He got up and hopped into the shower. I followed Him into the bathroom, still shaking, so that I could clean myself off as well.

Normally when I'm shaking like that Master gives me aftercare. By aftercare I mean Him holding me until I stop. I only shake like that when my entire body is overwhelmed. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a fact. But since it is anal sex we both clean up immediately. It's never really been messy, it's really only ever been lube and a little bit of blood from time to time, but we want to be careful about it and clean up immediately. So there really isn't any time for aftercare.

After we were both cleaned up we went into the living room. A short time later I felt like I was going to cry. It wasn't pain. It was just sub drop. I didn't say anything. I probably should have. But I did end up going into the bedroom and cleaned up the lube that was still on the bed. This gave me a chance to calm myself down and gather myself. When I got back into the living room Master was just getting off the computer and sitting down in His recliner. When He did He grinned at me and said, "I love that empty balls feeling." *smiles*

Later on that night before we went to bed Master used my pussy to get Himself off and to keep me docile. Well, I can't really say to keep me docile because after anal sex I am very docile for an extended period of time.

The reason why I had said I was slightly ashamed of having to admit that I couldn't handle it for long is because I want my body to accept it for a longer period of time. I even asked Master to please not be mad at me. He wasn't mad at all. He was actually pleased. I didn't give up at the first shock of minor pain in the beginning. I did my best to relax. I know that the only way to get my body to accept it for longer is to do it more frequently.

We had been working towards that before and it was getting better but then all of that stress came up and for a while our sex drives dipped. And once it started to kick back in the anal part of our sex life didn't really cross my mind. That is bad of me. Master absolutely loves fucking me in the ass. He has never been pushy about it but that doesn't mean I don't need to work at doing it more frequently and for longer.

I want to be as pleasing as I possibly can be. He has never chided me for anything in regards to anal sex. I am extremely grateful that He is so understanding and wants me to enjoy it as much as He does. But I can't exactly get to that point if I don't try to do it more frequently.

I still feel docile today. I was very tired earlier as it had been a long day and ended up taking a nap, but still very docile.

August 21, 2014

50/50

As things are coming to a head around here and the "yep it's gonna happen" sinks more into our heads we are starting to feel it more. Especially as the time we have before everything has to happen is creeping up more and more. It's hard not to let it get us down but we are really trying to not let it hit us too badly. I mean it is, but we are at least trying to stay positive about certain things and cheer one another up. Even if it is something small. The small shit is sometimes more important than the big things are.

So we have been joking around and actually have made some small splurges on ourselves. It's not like we really should be but honestly it's not like it's going to make much of a difference so why not? And by small I mean we bought two DVDs and a CD. But it's something, ya know?

Anyway....

You know that video Master finally made for me after 11 years? I've been watching it on and off. Why? Because I love it and after all I've been asking for one for 11 years... *laughs*

Master had brought up that He wants to try having anal again soon. I want to as well. The only problem was that last night I pretty much passed out as soon as we got home. It was a very long day. I basically didn't feel up to much of anything.

Tonight we had gone to the store to pick out a couple of DVDs and if I had been thinking I would have bought batteries while we were there. But I obviously wasn't thinking and totally spaced on it. Why do I care about batteries? Well, really it seems like the only way I can get myself relaxed enough during anal sex, at least in the beginning, is by playing with my clit. Using a vibrator to do so is just easier. Of course I don't have any batteries for the damn thing. Master kind of made fun of me about it once we got home.

I didn't want to drive all the way back to the same store. Instead I called the local dollar store and yep, they sell batteries. I'm cheap as hell.... Anyway, I went there and bought some. There is only four in the pack but I only need two and what do you expect for a dollar?

Now we are settled for the night. After I took the dog out I hopped on here to do my blog post. Once that is done I'll be taking my bath and then Master and I will be doing back rubs. It's not like we have to be anywhere tomorrow or have anything to do so it doesn't matter what time we go to bed.

I'm just hoping that my body decides to behave itself. That's the only thing I hate about anal is that it's like a 50/50 shot as to whether my body is going to allow it without hurting me too badly regardless of the fact that I want His dick up my ass.

I know that some Masters wouldn't care how much it hurts, they'll just go for it and too damn bad. But my Master doesn't really push it. He wants me to enjoy it and even though yes I'm a masochist, I'm not that much of a masochist. I'm very lucky that He is so understanding, especially since I do have stomach issues. I'm also grateful that He doesn't get pissed off if we try and my body says no.