January 31, 2014

Head Cold

It appears that I am the only one in this house that is healthy right now. Well, the bunnies too. So three out of the five of us.

Master has a head cold. It started a couple of days ago with what just seemed like really bad sinuses, which is what we automatically assumed since His sinuses bother Him every day anyway. Some days are worse than others. So whatever. But the next day His throat felt scratchy and kind of sore. By the third day we both realized that He has a head cold. He's been sneezing and coughing and blowing His nose a lot. But at least He doesn't have a fever. I keep a close eye on Him when He's sick just because it can escalate rather quickly and turn into an ER visit. So far so good though. He does sound a little better today than He did yesterday. He has been able to get a bit more sleep than usual so I'm hoping that it helps speed up Him getting over it.

I have a rather strong immune system so I'm not really worried about catching it. And even if I did I have a feeling it would bother me for a day or two and then I'd be fine. When I do actually get sick though it knocks me on my ass. Hard. So there are up sides and down sides to it.


Even the dog isn't feeling well. He got sick twice today and we had to give him a benadryl. Thankfully he thinks they are treats, so it's really easy to give them to him.

I hope Master feels better soon. I hate it when He's sick. There isn't a lot I can do about it and I worry because I know that if it mutates into something else it can get serious rather fast.

He hates cold medicine. So He tries to avoid it for as long as He can. Since it's not too bad I can't really claim health issue and override Him. But on my way home from work I stopped at the store and got Him honey cough drops. He likes those at least. He puts them in His coffee.

We have a clause in our dynamic where if it's a health concern the dynamic goes out in the window in so far as I get really fucking bossy. Like I will literally tell Him to sit the fuck down and I'll get something for Him. That's only if He's really sick though. But yeah. I get bossy with Him and He listens, most of the time. I become a bitch of a nurse. *laughs*

January 29, 2014

Legit

Sometimes stress gets to me more than usual. Today, while I was at work, that happened. Stress just came along and bitch slapped me. Yes, it was legitimate. This wasn't me overreacting.

It happened right before my lunch break. Once I got on my lunch break I messaged back and forth with Master for the majority of my break. He knew I wasn't overreacting. I didn't even have to ask. I knew this one was legit. He kept me calm though. Well, He calmed me down a little anyway. I definitely didn't start off calm. I wasn't freaking out or anything I just wasn't calm. I was pissed off and upset at the same time. I hate that. As if one of them wasn't bad enough there had to be a combo! *sigh*

I told Him that all I wanted to do was come home and curl up on His lap while He sat in His recliner. Things like that make me feel better. Anything with a lot of physical contact. And I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about being held, cuddling, etc. Sometimes a massage will make me jello to the point where I just don't even think for a while, which is nice. Him brushing my hair is soothing as well.

I'm not asking to be spoiled. I'm just saying those are the things that really help.

By the time I got home I had calmed down almost completely. It's not that I don't notice that stress anymore because I do. It's just one of those things where I don't feel overwhelmed by it right now. So when I got home I got a big hug and that's all I really needed.

January 27, 2014

Bite Marks

Yesterday Master and I had incredible sex. Holy hell. And there was a lot of biting involved. *grins* Meaning Him biting me.. not the other way around. I'm sure you already guessed that though. If not, you haven't been reading here long enough. *laughs*

The foreplay involved biting. The actually fucking included biting. And they were deep bites. These weren't little nips or Him simply scraping His teeth against my skin. These were deep. Honestly the way it felt I'm surprised blood wasn't drawn. And it felt fucking amazing. Sometimes I get off from biting more than others. I mean it's always hot. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes it actually hurts. As in "Ow! Son of a bitch." Now, that doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it.

Hi, I'm Kitten and I'm a masochist. *waves*

But other times... even though it's a nice deep bite it doesn't really hurt. Not like that anyway. It just feels.. I'm not sure how to explain it. It seems to heighten everything else that's going on. And sometimes I lose myself in them.

There are times where we haven't been doing anything sexual at all and Master will call me over to kneel in front of His chair. Once I'm there He'll tell me to put my back to Him and move my hair. When He says that I know what's about to happen. The whole moving the hair part is the key. Not so much the kneeling. Once I've done what He wanted He'll wrap His arms around me so I can't move, force my head to turn enough that my neck is bare and in an offering position.

Then He clamps His teeth into my flesh and there is a shock that goes throughout my entire body. And He'll keep His teeth just as they were when He bit in. He doesn't move His head. If anything He'll bite down harder. And when that happens most of the time I'll lose myself in it. I close my eyes and just keep everything else out except for the sensations of Him holding me and His teeth buried in my neck or shoulder. (It depends on His mood that day.) And then... once I start drifting even more I'll hear Him moan and growl with my skin still in between His teeth. When that happens I feel His breath coming out of His nose on my skin.

*shivers*

And it's not like He does it just for me. Oh fuck no. He enjoys the hell of out it. He'll get rock hard just from biting me, with no other stimulus. And I do mean rock hard.

So today I touched each bite mark on my neck and shoulders repeatedly. Yes, there was more than one. And they are extremely tender but in an oh so wonderful way. And you can see the indents of His teeth. Those aren't going to fade anytime soon.

January 25, 2014

Hot Dream on a Cold Night

It's been extremely cold for quite a while now. Last night was no different. I again fell asleep on the couch. Master didn't mind. I even asked permission to do so and I at least made it past my normal bed time. He woke me up when He was ready to go to bed around 3am or some where around there.

It wasn't until after we curled up in bed together that the dreaming started. Normally I don't remember my dream so vividly. Usually it's just bits and pieces if I remember them at all. But this one was very vivid. And it was hot. Very hot. Here is what happened in the dream.

We were sitting in the living room. Master was sitting on the couch with me, which is actually a little odd because nine times out of ten He sits in His recliner and I'm on the couch. Anyway... He was sitting on the couch and He had His back resting against the arm of the couch. He had one foot on the floor and the other leg stretched out along the couch. I was laying in between His legs with my back resting against His torso.

We were both nude and watching porn. I don't know which one. I don't even know what the scene on the TV was. I remember we were both getting more turned on. I felt His cock growing and starting to press on my back. He reached down and started groping my tits and grabbing my piercings and turning them.

I started to sit up and He released my nipples from His grip. I turned my body just enough to start gently kissing Him. He cupped my face in His hands as we continued to kiss. We teasingly twisted our tongues together before going back to gently kissing one another.

He leaned forward and stopped cupping my face in His hands and instead wrapped His left hand in my hair. He pulled my head back by my hair and nipped my neck over and over again. Then using my hair as a handle He moved me off the couch so that I was kneeling before Him. He moved so that He was sitting straight up on the couch and had both feet on the floor. He let go of my hair to allow me to move.

I leaned forward and took the head of His cock into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around it before allowing it to slip out of my mouth. I took my hand and pushed His cock against His stomach before running my tongue and lips along the underside of it. I stopped eventually and quickly took His cock into my mouth again until my lips were all the way down to the base of His dick.

I bobbed my head up and down. He put His hand on the back of my head as I continued. Eventually He grabbed my hair at the base of my skull again and pulled my head back. He then let go of my hair and grabbed my wrist and gently pulled up. I carefully climbed up onto the couch, straddling Him. He didn't slip inside me right away. Instead He reached down, grabbed His dick and rubbed it softly against my clit. We both moaned as He did so.

Then He moved His dick down and I lifted my hips up slightly and slowly lowered myself onto His cock. I arched my back and bucked my hips. At first it was rather slow and sensual. I rested my head against His shoulder as I started to get more passionate about it and rotating my hips as He was balls deep inside me. He grabbed my hips and forced me to stop. He then pulled my torso forward so my chin was cupped against the top of His shoulder and my tits were pressed against His chest.

As soon as I was in that position He got a better grip on my hips while He was still inside me. He moved one hand so it was wrapped around my lower back. He leaned forward so my ass was hanging slightly off the couch. He stood up and made sure that His cock didn't slip out of me as He carried me into the bedroom. Once we got back there He slowly rested me on the bed and pulled His cock out of me. He told me to get on all fours with my ass in the air.

I got into position and He knelt behind me. There was nothing gently about it when He slammed His dick into me. And He didn't waste time getting up to a fast pace. No. He grabbed my hips and as He knelt still He bounced me off of His cock over and over again. I had to bury my face in the pillow so the neighbors wouldn't hear me.

He kept one hand on my hips and reached down with His other hand to wrap His hand in my hair again, pulling my upper body off of the bed. He got me into the position where my back is arched and I'm on the tips of my fingers to raise my upper body as high as He wanted it. Once He felt I was perfectly positioned the way He wanted me and covered my mouth and sped up His thrusting while rotating His hips. He was never hit the same place twice in a row. It was driving me mad. I moaned and squeaked but barely any sound made it past His hand since He had such a good grip.

He growled, ordering me to cum as He filled me with His.

And that is where the dream ended. It was hot as fucking hell and when I woke up this morning I was more than a little wet. I rolled over and looked at Him. He was sleeping and I wanted to wake Him up so we could fuck but I know that He hasn't been getting a lot of sleep and His back has been giving Him some problems. So I didn't try and instead slipped out of bed and made sure to tuck Him in a little bit more so He would stay warm. Plus we can always fuck tonight.

January 24, 2014

Quality Time

Since I've been doing so much overtime I feel like I'm not getting much time with Master. Never mind the fact that I see Him every day. That's not the point. When I'm finally home for the night we eat dinner and I'm maybe awake until 10:30pm. Last night after I got off of work we went down to visit with my dad. We were supposed to do that tonight but it got moved to yesterday.

So I pulled into our parking lot, called Him on my cell phone, He came out to the car, and off we went. We had a good time. Surprisingly my uncle and my brother were there too. My uncle wasn't overly surprising since he and my father do spend a good amount of time together, but my brother? That honestly did surprise me. He doesn't spend a lot of time with our dad. And we're very rarely at Dad's house at the same time. The only problem with every one being that is that both my uncle and my brother have inner ear problems so they don't realize how loud they get. So you're trying to talk over all of them but it gets old fast. Also? My uncle loves interrupting people. I don't think he actually means to. I think he just has a thought pop into his head and just has to spit it out immediately.

But we still had a good time. We left there a little after 8pm. So we got home about 9pm. I dropped Master off at home so He could take the dog out while I ran to get some fast food. It was already late enough and we hadn't had dinner yet. Neither of us wanted to wait for food to cook so that was the easiest thing to do.

We ate dinner and started watching some thing on Netflix and I was resting my head on the palm of my hand and I would literally feel myself nodding off and startling myself back awake. So I decided to get comfortable and laid down. I was passed out within probably 10 minutes. The shitty thing is that I had asked Master if I could stay up late and I couldn't even make it to my normal bed time.

It's been that way for a few weeks now. In fact this is the third week in a row. Some nights I'll be fine and other nights I'll be passed out on the couch before 11pm. It sucks. Most of it is due to the overtime. Part of it is because it's been so fucking cold out and I've been in and out of it so much through out the day. It drains my batteries. Not to mention how much pain my shoulders and back are in as a result.

So I feel like the only time I actually get with Him is Saturday and Sunday. Tomorrow we have a bunch of family stuff going on, which will be nice. I'm not complaining about it at all. Plus we'll be home at the latest by 7pm. I'm pretty sure we'll be home earlier than that. We're going to see my mom for a while and then on the way home we are swinging by His niece's 5th birthday party. The birthday party ends at 6pm, but normally we leave such things sooner than that. Not by much, but still.

Sunday I know we have to make a quick stop at the grocery store but other than that we'll be in our apartment relaxing and have just one on one quality time together that doesn't end with me falling asleep on the couch.

January 22, 2014

Over Time

I sometimes wonder how the dynamic will be when we're older. I don't mean like when we're in our 40's or 50's. I mean beyond that.

Do I think it will still be in place? Yes. Do I think it will be the same as it is now? No. After all our dynamic has evolved over time so why would it stop? It wouldn't. I'm sure that things will change. Partially due to not being able to do certain things physically anymore. I'm not about to kid myself that in 30 years I'll still be able to do everything that I can do now. Pft. Never going to happen. Especially when my fibromyalgia is thrown into the mix. It's only going to get worse as I get older. It's worse now than it was 10 years ago and I'm only 30. Actually, I'll be 31 in two months but that's not the point right now.

The other part is because over time preferences can and usually do change. What Master wants from me now is different than what He wanted from me when I was 20.

I'm not going to try and guess where it's going to go. I just know that it will still be there. Even if it is just down to doing what I'm told. That's one thing that I know for a fact will not go away. I'm not saying that like it's a bad thing. I'm just saying that might be the only thing left as time and age click over year after year.

I know I won't feel any less secure in it. I don't feel less secure now than I did 10 years ago. I just serve Him in different ways than I did back then. We have grown, both as a couple and within the dynamic.

Things change. They evolve. I'd be worried if they didn't. Some things drift away and new things are introduced. And sometimes the older things kick back in again for a period of time. There will always be the underlying fact that I am His. That will never change.

January 20, 2014

Walks

I know I live in Wisconsin. And I know that winter comes every year. I'm not an idiot. However, I'm ready for spring. Well, that's a lie. I'm ready for fall. That is my favorite season and if could be like that all the time I would be a very happy girl.

After those -50° days we had only a couple of weeks back, I was ready right then and there for spring. I'm sick of driving in snow. Not because it's a bitch, which it can be, but because I'm tired of worrying about the people driving around me. They make no damn sense. It will be near blizzard conditions and people are flying around at 80mph. Then you have days like today where it was snowing, but it wasn't much at all. The interstate roads were clear and yet time and time again I got stuck behind someone doing fifteen below the speed limit. What. The. Fuck.

Aside from not having to bundle up each time I walk out the door and being able to drive without worrying about fishtailing, I miss walking with Master and the mutt.

Last summer and fall we took walks to get some exercise and fresh air. The dog had a lot of fun too. Master was doing most of the walking because I work during the day. So He would take the mutt for longer walks to kill time and to have fun with the mutt.

But when it was the weekend I would go with them. They weren't extremely long walks, but they were a good sized walk. The pup would get so excited because we would both be with him. We also ran a couple of close errands that way too.

Rather than hopping in the car we would walk down to the store with the dog. Master would stand outside with him while I went in and grabbed whatever it was we wanted to grab. There were several times where we took the walk rather late at night because it was much cooler and because we're night owls anyway.

So, I look forward to spring so we get stop bundling up and so we can start taking walks together again.

January 18, 2014

Spaced Out

Yesterday I was up for twenty-one hours. I'm not complaining and I'm not bragging or anything stupid like that. I'm just pointing out a fact. And it was a busy as hell day too. I worked for five and a half hours before getting home at 12:30pm. I came inside and sat for about fifteen minutes with Master before we had to head out the door. We had plans to meet up with His father for lunch. We hadn't seen him since mid November so we were looking forward to it.

He was already there, which surprised us because we were early. Thankfully he had only arrived about ten minutes before we did. I think we were there for about three hours in total. It was a lot of joking around and just catching up. I always have a lot of fun when we go out to lunch or dinner with Master's father.

After that we went home to relax before we were supposed to go down to see my dad. The problem was that we didn't have an exact time. My dad had said that he would try to be home by 6pm. I told him that I would text him to see if he was still on schedule so we could leave around 5:30pm and meet him at his place around the time he would get home. I told him that if he got home any earlier to let me know.

So at about 5:10pm I sent him a text. Apparently he had been home for a half hour already. Damn it Dad.

We live forty to forty-five minutes from him so if he would have told me that when he got home we could have been down there already. Oh well.

So we hop in the car and go hang out with him for a few hours. More joking around and catching up. His back was really bothering him because of the cold so we didn't stay too long. As a result, we got home right around 9pm. After the animals were taken care of and I was done with my bath Master and I chilled out and watched some TV shows on Netflix. We eventually decided that we wanted to watch a movie, and once that was over I realized I had been up for twenty-one hours and suddenly felt extremely fucking tired. Since about the half way point of the movie I had been fighting myself on not sprawling out on the couch because I knew I would fall asleep.

Master said I could nap out here in the living room so I finally crashed. I didn't want to go to bed by myself. I do that all throughout the work week so I really hate doing it on the weekends. He woke me up when He went to bed so I could curl up with Him.

Even though I slept great last night I have felt really weird all day. Almost like I have no weight to me. I don't really know how to describe it. I'm not light headed or dizzy. I just feel really spaced out. I even took a hour long nap on the couch this afternoon. That helped a little bit but I still feel off. *shrugs*

At least today I've done nothing except relax minus having to take the dog out and run down to the pharmacy. Other than that it has been watching movies, dicking around on the computer, and chilling out with Master. I'm a happy but spaced out girl right now.

January 15, 2014

Young & Not So Dumb

Master has always teased me that He got me young so He could train me early. I was 20 years old when we started dating and He was three months shy of being 28 years old. There are mixed thoughts about our age difference as far as other people are concerned. Not that it matters at all but it is still somewhat interesting. And I'm not strictly referring to our dynamic, although we have received comments about such in the past. So let's start off with the easy stuff. The "normal" relationship that everyone sees. No one in my family has a problem with the age difference. I think my dad, when he first found out, was actually pretty happy about it. I think he felt that because Master is older He can protect me better. And that is something my father is all about. Someone being able to back me up and if need be take over. Basically whatever it takes to make sure I'm safe, happy, and healthy.

My mother never really commented on it. Neither did my brother. In fact sometimes my brother completely forgets the fact that Master is older than me. My grandfather has made comments about it but they are all  little jokes here and there and are just poking fun at us. We don't get offended by it and find it funny.

Master's dad has absolutely no problem with it. Apparently he has a similar age difference in his current marriage. His brother and sisters don't even blink at it and neither does His sister-in-law.

His mother had a problem with it at first. She really did. She thought I was going to leave Him when He got "too old" as she put it. But now? She doesn't say anything about it because her current husband is younger than her. Not as much of an age gap mind you but it's there.

Our friends, past and present, have always kind of looked at Master with a mental high five. I'm not saying that based on looks or anything like that but simply because He has a younger chick on His arm. I've always found it amusing and so has He.

In regards to the dynamic.. to me it makes perfect sense. Both in gender and in age difference, not to mention size. I'm not saying anything against women at all. Not one bit. I just think a male makes more sense as the leader. I'm not knocking anyone or their kink this is just how I see it and it's mainly because I could never see myself submitting to a woman willingly. If Master made me, and He did once, then yeah. Of course. But I wouldn't volunteer for it. I want to know that the orders can be backed physically. That's also where His height really plays into it for me.

I do remember a few times when we actually attempted to get active in the local "scene" as it were. Yeah. It didn't go so well. We tried a few different times at different points in our relationship and each time it fell flat rather quickly. Some of it was just guys trying to convince Master to let them have alone time with me to put me through my paces. That was a good way to piss Him off. He didn't start off hot headed about it. He would decline but each time they wouldn't drop the subject at which point He became more agitated.

There were several people though who basically said I was too young to be a slave. That Master was taking advantage of the fact that I was young and didn't know any better. Know any better than what exactly? They never really said. They accused Him of not allowing me to get old enough to make an educated decision about it. They told Him that He was a cradle robber. Right in front of me. It was bad enough saying that at all but then to act like I wasn't even in the room and to talk about me as if I was a dumb young kid... that really pissed me off.  I may have been young but I wasn't a kid and I sure as fuck wasn't stupid.

Never mind the fact that He didn't drag me kicking and screaming into this. I was as excited about it as He was. I always knew, and still know, that if I really truly wanted this dynamic to end it would end. I've thought that I wanted that in the past, before I was medicated. I would hit one hell of a mood swing and would just want the collar off and want it off immediately. But as soon as it was off I would cry and cry and beg Him to put it back on.

Since being properly medicated, which is for a few years now, I've never once asked for the dynamic to go away. I don't think I ever will. Never say never. I don't want to jinx anything here, so I'll just say I don't see it going that way at any point.

January 13, 2014

Fucking = Stress Relief

Sex is a perfect form of stress relief. Saturday was a great example of that. 

I was sensitive all over. Sometimes a lot of stress will do that to me. All of my nerve endings get flared up rather easily and as a result I was moaning rather quickly. Especially when He started flicking His tongue against my nipples. I was stroking His dick as He molested my tits. And apparently He was pretty worked up as well. There was enough pre-cum for me to slick my fingers and rub it along the underside of His cock. I then rubbed it around the head and would alternate between massaging just behind of the head of His dick to stroking the length of Him.

He moaned when He had my nipple in my mouth and it felt.. interesting. A good kind of interesting.

Eventually He knelt up and told me to slide up the bed. After I was comfortable He slipped in between my legs and ate me out. When I came I was breathing very heavily and could barely keep myself from moving every time He breathed while His head was still in between my legs.

He chuckled rather darkly and didn't allow me much time to catch my breath before He moved me into position like a rag doll. I love that He can toss me around without much effort. It's one of the advantages to our size differences. (He's 6ft4 and I'm 5ft1. I am petite and He is built like a brick wall. A very sexy brick wall.)

I whimpered and moaned and squeaked from the overwhelming sensations while He fucked me. He ordered me to cum over and over again, each time becoming more and more sensitive. And towards to end He make sure to be balls deep and just rotate His hips until just before He got off. As soon as I felt Him harden even more, as He does right before He shoots His cum into me, He started forcibly slammed into me, faster and faster until He gripped my hips and growled. A part of me wanted to move up just a little because I was so overly sensitive that I could almost not contain the sensation with His cock pulsing inside of me. It wasn't because I didn't want to cum. I'm not allowed to without His permission and/or ordering me to do so. It was because it hurt. Granted it was in a good way but it still hurt and my head was swimming. The other part wanted me to push back even more. Because ya know, I'm a masochist and all that.

It's not like I had a choice either way. He had me just where He wanted me and I wouldn't have been able to move forward or back if I wanted to.

Afterward He held me for a little while as we both were enjoying the high from the incredible sex. I was jello for the rest of the day. I was completely relaxed and just happy. We weren't doing anything special at all the rest of the day but I was just... happy.

January 11, 2014

Simpler Times

I've had this thought swimming around in my mind for a little while now, so I thought I should post about it.

I've been busy as fuck as my job. As a result I have been very sore and very tired by the time I get home from work. I'm tired to the point that the only slave like things I'm even remotely doing is asking if He wants something to drink while I'm on my way to the kitchen and asking if I may use the bathroom. Oh, and doing my blog every other night. *sigh* And I know that this up coming week is going to be more of the same. I've been approved for doing 10 hours of overtime this upcoming week. And yes, I plan on actually doing that. I know it's necessary and yes I hate it. I don't hate it just for the fact that I'm at work that much, although that is part of it.

I also hate it because I come home to eat and sleep. That's pretty much it. I'm only awake for about 4 hours after I get home. That's if I'm lucky. The other night I was home for 3 hours before I crashed out on the couch. I hate it. Part of that is because I'm so wiped out mentally and my fibromyalgia is kicking my tail.

I want to spend more time with Him. I want to be a better wife/slave than what I'm able to be when I'm that sore and tired.

As a result my mind wandered to simpler times. Those were when I was in college. I wasn't working at the time. All I was doing was going to college, doing homework, and that was it. It left quite a bit of time for the good fiance then good wife as well as a good slave. We got married about a year into my going to college.

I was originally going for web design. I did eventually realize that isn't want I wanted to do. So I had looked into switching my major.

Before I could I had to "drop out". We hit a really rough patch financially speaking and I knew that I couldn't hold a full time job and go to college as well. I know that a lot of people can, and do, but I decided that I couldn't. So off to the working world I went and I never went back to college.

It was simpler because I had more time. I had more time to serve Him the way He wants to be served. I wasn't as worn out and  I wasn't as stressed out. Also, I was rocking out the whole college thing. I was getting awesome grades. And Master would comment on how hot I looked laying down mainly naked, if not fully nude, while pouring over my college books. He was also always so proud of me. That is a wonderful feeling. It's not that He isn't proud of me anymore, but it felt different back then. It felt like I was actually accomplishing something and earning Him being proud of me. I don't feel that I do that when I'm working.

But each time I switched jobs to make better money and to have a more stable job the more I became stressed and tired. And that started to cut into what I wanted to be doing more and more.

I have wished, many times, that I could be a stay at home slave. It's not that I don't want to contribute to this marriage financially. It's not that I want to be a pampered slave girl. The appeal to me is that I could serve Him at any point during the day, whether it be sexually or something else. That would be my main focus rather than work having to be my main focus and my submission being forced to the back burner.

I know it will never happen. That doesn't mean I can't dream about it.

January 9, 2014

Not the Good Kind of Pain

There actually isn't a lot going on in my gray matter right now. Work has been kicking my tail up one side and down the other. As a result I'm more like a bump on a log than anything when I'm at home.

That pisses me off actually. I want to be more active. I want to be up to fucking at the very least. But I'm not. It's not just the fact that I am like a zombie or the fact that I feel like I can't form a full thought and keep a hold of it for more than a few minutes. It's also the fact that I'm sore all over. Mainly the tops of my shoulders, right between my shoulder blades, and of course my lower back. What's weird is that even my left knee is starting to give me shit. It feels like there is water under it, which is just a wonderful sensation.

I've been trying not to complain about it. Master's neck has been really bothering Him. He's not sure what He did to it but He can't turn His head one way too far without it really hurting. I've been there, many times. Hell, I've actually had my neck muscles lock so I can't move my head at all without it causing so much pain that I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I'm trying to help as much as I can. I've worked on His neck the past two nights. I'm doing the best I can, but there isn't a whole hell of a lot you can do with a pain like that. All you can do is try to get it to relax a little bit. Without a muscle relaxer it basically has to run it's course. He said it's a little bit better than it was two days ago, which is a good thing.

Since I know exactly what that feels like I feel even worse for Him. Whenever He's in pain I feel bad and I wish I could do more. With something I can relate to, like what He's going through right now, I feel worse.

I'm sure He turned His neck wrong or just turned it to quickly. Hell, it could just be that He slept wrong. I also know that the cold isn't helping at all. Cold weather always makes pain seem amplified. Especially when it's muscle pain since your muscles are already tightening up due to the cold. You add something like that to it and holy hell.

My poor Master.

January 7, 2014

Hurry Up & Wait

Well, I didn't get to update my post from yesterday. There was just way too much shit going on. It was a lot of trying to figure out how to get shit done. It was a long damn day. It will sound stupid as hell but I actually kind of wished I had been at work yesterday. Not because I like being at work. But because then none of the stress of yesterday would have happened and I wouldn't have to make up the time at work.

I know it was another day off of work, but it didn't feel like it. Not at all. It's not like I got to relax. It was a lot of hurry up and wait. That whole getting the battery from the store and having them install it for free idea went out the window. It just didn't make much sense to begin with. I was kind of freaking out at the moment. The reason I called them in the first place is because I thought I still had a warranty, so while that would have made the most sense it turned out not to be true anyway.

Once that was determined I gave up on the idea rather quickly. So, when the mechanic shop I go to opened I called them. They told me how much it would be and honestly it wasn't going to be that much more, including labor.

While I was on the phone with them I asked if they could maybe come down and jump start my car and I would follow them back. They apologized but they were booked fucking solid and couldn't afford to send any of their employees. I didn't get mad or anything. I understood. They have always been straight up with me and treated me well as a customer.

I then called around and got a hold of a place that does nothing but jump starts, unlocking car doors, and things like that. They told me it would be a 3 hour wait for someone to get to my place because of how back logged they were due to the cold. Made sense. So I said that was fine and asked them to just call me when they got here.

Right before the 3 hour mark was going to click by I got a phone call that they were outside by my car. So I went out there and they tried to jump start my car. They tried three different things. They tried doing it off their car. That didn't work. So they tried it off a jump start battery pack. No dice. Then they tried a different jump start battery that was stronger. Nope. Fuck me running.

They only charged me $10 for coming out here and trying. I thought that was more than fair.

Now I just had to try and find a different way to get my car down there. I called around to different tow truck companies but either they were too far out, they were way too expensive, or they would only tow me to their own shop rather than the shop I wanted to go to.

I called the mechanic again and they gave me the number to a tow truck company they recommend. I called them and they were the cheapest. They also didn't make it seem like I was bothering them, unlike most of the places I had called before.

They told me they were swamped due to all the breakdowns and told me they should be there in 2 hours. Okay.

While I was waiting I called my brother and asked him to come up. I did that just in case for some reason the car didn't get a new battery that day because ya know, shit fucking happens. I apologized over and over again because it's a long drive for him to get up here. He said it was fine.

He got here before the tow truck did. We hung out for a little while and when the 2 1/2 hour mark ticked by I called the tow truck company. They told me it was going to be another 1 1/2 hours. I got a little cranky because while I understand that they are swamped I would expect a better time quote or at least a courtesy call letting me know they were running behind

So another 2 hours go by and they finally get here. I was worried though because they got here at 5pm and the shop I go to closes at 6pm. At that time I was glad I had called my brother because it seemed like the car was going to have to wait until tomorrow. My brother drove me to the shop so I wouldn't have to ride with the tow truck driver and I wouldn't have to sit down there by myself.

When we got there the shop was jam packed. There were only three parking spots left. My brother pulled into one of them. The tow truck wasn't that far behind us thankfully.

The shop actually put me ahead as a priority because most people weren't picking up their cars until the next day. So they took a car out of the bay and put mine in. We sat there for about 45 minutes. It was actually past their close time by the time everything was said and done.

They had checked my alternator and my starter just to be on the safe side and thankfully they were both fine. I don't want to even guess what that repair bill would have been. The car needed a new battery obviously. But she also needed a battery cable extended, so they had to wait on that. She also needed a new battery housing because I guess the one that was in there was in pretty rough shape.

What was awesome was that they only charged me for the battery and labor. Sweet! I drove my car back and my brother followed me. He stayed the night just to be on the safe side. I ended up going to bed rather early. It had felt like an incredibly long day.

When I got up this morning to go to work my brother got up too. He wanted to make sure my car started. And she did! She started just fine and right away. I was a bit surprised when I was sitting in the car waiting for her to warm up and I saw my brother walking to his car. I opened my window and asked what was up. He said he was just going to head on home because he knew I was all good to go and his knee was really bothering him.

I can't blame him. He dropped everything at the drop of a dime to come help me out and even stayed the night to make sure I could get to work in the morning. He pisses me off sometimes and I don't like who he is dating but he is a good brother and I love him.

Although I won't be going into work on Saturday. I've decided to just work 10 hour work days the rest of the work week so I can have my entire weekend. It's rough but I'd rather do that than only have one full day off of work.

January 6, 2014

Battery Issues

Well it's currently -45° out. I took the dog out and he did his business so fast I think he broke some kind of record. After I got him back inside I went out to try and start my car and she didn't want to do it. She tried and then made this "da da da da" noise. I tried again about 20 minutes later and same result. I tried one last time right before 8am and same mother fucking result. I don't know why I thought it would be any different. Fuck!! The cold had sucked out all the power in the battery. So I call my job and told them. I had to call HR of all people because apparently I had the wrong number for my supervisor. She doesn't like me, at all. She actually sounded somewhat understanding. Does that mean I won't get in trouble for not coming into work and being out of time? No. She's a cunt. It's also company policy not to go over your time without disciplinary action. Now, keeping that in mind, it is up to HR as to whether or not it's warranted. Such as if there is an emergency they won't go through with the disciplinary action. Does a dead battery count? No idea. And like I said, she's a cunt. Hopefully she is wasn't being a two faced bitch on the phone and it's actually true that she understands. I did tell her that I literally have no other way to work. I really don't. I'm not making that shit up. Either way I'll now have to work Saturday to make up the time.

After I got off the phone with her I called the place I got my battery from last time. I honestly thought I had bought it last year. They looked up my receipt in their system and nope. I bought it two years ago and therefore the warranty has expired.

So I asked them how much their batteries are. They told me. Batteries are never cheap. I then asked if they could install it. They said that yes they do free installation but they don't think they can do it today due to the cold. It will take at least 35 minutes to put it in and they don't want to give their employees frostbite since no one is supposed to be outside for more than 5 minutes. I completely understand that. After all they don't have a garage. They are an auto parts store that does free installation. But the guy said when the manager gets in he'll ask. The manager doesn't get there until 1pm. So I told them I would call back at that time.

This fucking blows! I'll have to figure something out so I can at least get to work tomorrow. And it's supposed to be just as cold tomorrow until around noon or so. Even if I do some how, some way, get the battery replaced today it's not going to make a fuck ton of sense to go in today. It's supposed to be even colder by the time I would normally get out of work. I don't need to be stranded out there thank you very much.

My brother just sent me a text saying his girlfriend had tried to go to work and the car started up fine but she is now stranded because her car sputtered out about a half hour away from her job due to the cold. I don't like the girl but I felt bad for my brother. I told him not to risk himself and have her just call an emergency number or for him to give her a non-emergency number, such as the local police station, and go from there.

I'll probably edit this post through out the day and do updates once I find out more, just so I can vent a bit.

January 4, 2014

Fuck You Too Winter

I try not to do a lot of work posts and I know I did one the last time I posted. This is a combination of a work and weather post.

While at work yesterday people were talking about how cold it's going to be Monday and Tuesday. I didn't really pay a lot of attention to it. I mean, we're in Wisconsin. It gets pretty cold in the winter. Plus people at work complain when it's in the 30's outside. It's not like I enjoy it but still, if you live here you have to expect such things, ya know? Lately it has been below zero. The lowest it has been is -18°. However, when the chatter about the weather for Monday and Tuesday continued and seemed to sound concerned rather than just complaining I thought it would be a good idea to look into it. Master and I don't have cable or satellite so obviously we don't watch the weather channel. Instead I rely on weather.com.

It's an acceptable thing to look at while at work so when I had about 15 minutes left in my shift I went there and took a peek. My jaw dropped. It's supposed to be a minimum of  -40° to -55° starting really late Sunday night and going through Tuesday at noon. They are saying that it will cause frostbite in a very short period of time and can be life threatening.

I know it's Wisconsin but holy fucking shit! They are saying it's been about a 18 years since this last happened. Well 18 years ago I was 12 and therefore did not have a job. So I didn't have to really worry about it. I just stayed inside.

The surrounding counties have already stated that schools will be closed Monday. They haven't decided about Tuesday yet, and the governor has stated that they may close all of the schools in Wisconsin. That is fucking insane.

On the way home from work yesterday I told the passenger in my carpool about it. He honestly looked at me and said, "You're lying." I said, "No I'm not. You can look it up."

He seriously thought I was kidding. When he realized that I was being completely serious he started talking about how our office should shut down too because seriously, you could get frostbite just trying to go to work in the morning or even get hypothermia, which weather.com has said as well. I agreed when him. He said it would be absolute utter bullshit if the office did decide to be open.

The problem is we have a phone number to call to see if the office is still open. It is an automated message. And when we had a blizzard a couple years ago where we literally could not get out of the door of our apartment I called that number a dozen times while somewhat freaking out because like I said my job is a bastard when it comes to getting to work on time let alone getting there at all.

I alternated between trying to get a hold of HR or my supervisor explaining that I couldn't even get out the door. No one was answering. And so I continued to call the number to see if the office was even open. Finally, at 9am they had changed the automated message stating that the office was closed due to "winter weather conditions". But until then I was freaking out because I didn't want to lose my job.

Yes, it's different not being able to get out your door and it being so cold people are stating that if you are outside for more than 10 minutes you can get frostbite and/or hypothermia.

It takes me longer than 15 minutes to get my car cleared off and warmed up enough to leave for work. Not really warm, just warm enough to start going to work. Not to mention taking the dog out first. So add another 10 to 15 minutes there. Now you're talking a full 30 minutes of being outside in that shit. Also, my car might not even start if it's that fucking cold. We don't have a garage. The car is just in an open parking lot.

It's also a 45 minute drive to work. So if by some miracle my car does start up and I haven't frozen to death by that point the car could choke out at any point on the way to work due to the cold and then I'm stuck in my car with no heat until I can get help of some kind. (Such as a cop car or an ambulance.)

This isn't me being a pussy about the cold. These are facts. They have even made it so city workers aren't going to be outside. No mail. No garbage pick up service. Nothing.

On the one hand if the office for some fucking reason decides that they will still be open I don't want to lose my job or get written up for not coming in. On the other hand I don't want to end up in the hospital with frostbite or hypothermia. There isn't a lot to me people! I'm petite and don't really have a lot of meat on my bones.

I won't really be able to make a decision or find out if the office is open until Monday morning.

Master has always told me that my health comes first, so we'll see what happens and how it goes.

I'm not going to freak out about it until we get there. There isn't any point in doing so. I want to enjoy my weekend after all.

January 2, 2014

Stress Relief

Today was extremely stressful for me. It had snowed most of the day yesterday but it wasn't snowing this morning and when I looked outside the streets seemed pretty clear. Just a little bit of slush. I left for work at 6:50am. Normally when I leave at that time I'll get to work a little after 7:30am. I start at 8am so I get there every day about a half hour early. I like to make sure that I get to work on time and preferably early even if I'm not clocking in early. Why? Well, the traffic is usually better for one. Another is that I hate being late to work. It makes my day seemed so damned rushed and makes me feel anxious. Well today I didn't get to work until 8:17am. So a drive that normally takes me 40 minutes took me a hour and twenty fucking minutes.

The roads were mostly clear. It was just slush, like I said. I was still driving carefully, don't get me wrong there. But after a certain point it all became gridlocked. The interstate was extremely backed up. It didn't make any sense.

Well apparently at the exact exit I needed there was an accident. What was stupid was that both cars were in the emergency lane. There was no glass. It looked like one slammed on their brakes and the other didn't stop in time. So how does one small ass accident like that back up the entire west bound side of the interstate?! Who the fuck knows.

I was pissed by the time I got to work and clocked in. Like I said I hate being late to work. And sure as shit I felt rushed as hell. I literally spend the entire last four and a half hours of my work day working on three fucking things. Why? Because my supervisor was riding my ass about it. I'm already back logged and now you want me to strictly concentrate on three things and three things only? Fuck you very much.

But I set it all aside and kept him updated. I kept him updated to the point that I actually think I was annoying him a little bit. But hey.. you told me to keep you updated so here ya go! Plus I was covering my own ass. So yeah.

The drive home was better but I still had a couple of stops to make which seemed to take forever when in fact they didn't take long at all.

When I finally walked in the door I got a great big hug from Master and I immediately smiled. That didn't stop me from venting though. *laughs* It's not like He minded. He knows I need to vent and encourages it so that I don't try and keep it bottled up without meaning to.

As the night has gone on I feel much more relaxed. I've been goofing around with Him and we've been laughing. I love unwinding with Him. He knows how to make me laugh and honestly allows me to get away with just a little bit more, in so far as picking on Him, when He knows I've had a really rough day.