June 30, 2009

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

It's only Tuesday. Boo!

Only two days to go until the weekend though. It's a three day weekend this week due to July 4th. But this week (the whole whopping two days of it) is ticking by ever so slowly.

I like my job, I really do. But it's frustrating as hell when time goes by so slowly. Plus it looks like this weekend it's just Master and myself. *gasp* Although I have a feeling that will change as the weekend gets closer. Don't ask me why I think that. I just do.

Work was pretty uneventful today. Master picked me up and we went home. He took His shower and we had pizza for dinner. We were supposed to drop off the rent check and go grocery shopping this evening but Master wasn't in the best of moods and rent isn't really due until tomorrow, and obviously we could eat without going grocery shopping... sssooo... we are putting it all off until tomorrow. Hopefully He gets out of work on time.

Other than that there isn't a lot going on right now. Exciting, isn't it?

Hell there isn't even a lot going on in my head right now. So it's not like I can delve into my gray matter and yank something out of there. I'm just sort of here, ya know?

Maybe tomorrow I'll have more to blog about.

June 29, 2009

Master, Daddy, Sir

I actually used to have Master's phone number listed in my cell phone as "MasterDaddySir". Why? Because I call Him all three things, and well.. I found it amusing.

Kaya did a post today about some of the restrictions her husband puts on her that sometimes reminds her of the restrictions a parent would put on a child. You can see that particular post here.

I've personally always been reminded of parent/child restrictions regarding some of the rules Master has for me.  And no, I don't always like them. And yes sometimes I sit here and go, "I'm 26.. what the fuck.." but not out loud.

But the restrictions Master places on me that are more "child like", He passes as health and/or safety concerns.

A bedtime is one of them. I don't actually have a set bed time. Normally Master and I are in bed (although maybe or maybe not asleep) by 11pm during the week. This is because we have to get up somewhere between 6 - 6:30am. So when 11pm rolls around Master will start turning off the TV or computer and say, "Bedtime Kitten." And I help with getting the animals settled and cleaning up in the living room and join Him in the bedroom. Most times I beat Him there and I set the alarms for us. Sometimes I'm not really tired, but I have to ask permission if I want to stay up later than 11pm during the week. He then decides whether it is okay or not. It usually is declined if I have to work the next day. He tells me no, that I have to sleep. And then we curl up and that's that.

I don't really mope about this, because He's going to bed with me. On the few rare occasions where He has told me I need to go to bed, but He's staying up.. I mope. Why? Because I want to be near Him. So I'll ask if I can sleep on my slave mat or on the couch instead. Normally He lets me get away with this.

On the weekend, there is no set time really. He just starts shutting things down, and says "Bedtime Kitten", like usual.Same rules apply. I can request to stay up, but of course that may be declined and I have to go to bed anyway.

Another one is when I'm coming home from work and I'm taking the bus, or even if I'm crossing the street to get to where He is parked. This is a newer rule.

He saw me cross against a "Do Not Walk" light one time to get to the car where He was, and I was scolded once I got in the car. I argued that the cars were far enough back that I knew I could make it. He declared health and safety concerns, so I am no longer allowed to cross the street when the light says "Do Not Walk". I have to wait, even if there is no traffic.

Oh another one is that if it is getting dark out, I am not allowed to sit on the computer without having the light on. Health concerns, I know, but it reminds me of when I was growing up and I'd be watching the TV or reading a book in a dark room and my mom or dad would walk in and go, "Turn on a light! You're going to go blind!"

But we do somewhat play with the Daddy/baby girl thing in our relationship. So I guess none of this seems out of place to me. I take to it naturally. I don't mean like I'm sitting here in pigtails playing with stickers.. I mean that I call Him Daddy and He calls me baby, baby girl, little one, etc. I like being held, I sit on His lap as often as possible, etc.

That's about the extent of it however.

Plus it's really no different then some of the punishments. Like the belt. Yeah, I got the belt a few times as a kid.. but Master has used that punishment quite a few times over the years. I've been spanked more times in our 6 years than I ever was growing up. Weird huh?

I find the topic interesting and wanted to post about it. Thanks for the idea Kaya. :-)

Sometimes when I try explain why I call Master "Daddy", I can't really find a way to explain it. I mean He's only 8 years older than I am. But I still look to Him as an Elder. I look to Him as a protector as well. And that also plays into why I call Him Daddy. He is extremely protective of me. Like I said, it's not "traditional" age play. That kind of stuff squicks me out. (No offense meant to those of you who enjoy that kink.. it's just not my thing.)

But what we do? It suits me just fine. I've asked Master how He would explain the Daddy/baby girl aspect of our realationship as well. He normally just shrugs and goes, "It's what we do." I guess, in the end, that's the explanation that is necessary.

June 28, 2009

I Love Being Married

I really do. When Master and I were first together and He told me He never wanted to get married again, since His first marriage had left a bad taste in His mouth.. I didn't think much of it. I was like, "Cool. Whatever."

But as our relationship grew, I knew I wanted to marry Him. I wanted to be able to call Him my Husband. And for nearly 2 1/2 years, I have had that privilege.

I don't know what the differences are, but I love being married. I really do. I mean, we don't really act any differently than we did when we were "just dating" or engaged. But there is something that has changed. I have no idea what, but I love it. I am so proud to be able to say, "This is my Husband."

I don't know what the difference is than when I said, "This is my boyfriend." I guess the level of commitment is better voiced? I don't want that to come across wrong. I know people can be very committed to one another and never get married. That's how Master and I were before we got married.

Eh. I don't know if this is making a lot of sense. All I know, is that I love Master.. and I love being married to Him. I know He pisses me off sometimes, and I piss Him off sometimes.. and yes.. we go through ruts and what not. But I wouldn't trade anything in the world for what we have.

As far as how this weekend has gone. Yesterday we had dinner w/ His mother. It didn't last long. Maybe an hour. His mom hurt her knee so she wanted to leave shortly after we were done eating. She got Him two new pairs of jeans. They fit. But the problem is, is that Master only really wears carpenter jeans. He likes having all the extra pockets. And He told her this on the phone. So what does she do? Buys relaxed fit jeans. He put them on today, and we were about the head out the door. Right when He started trying to find a place to put His cell, His wallet, and His cigs He became frustrated and immediatley changed into the carpenter jeans we got Him a few weeks ago.

So yeah, I don't know how often He's going to wear the ones His mom got.

We came home last night after dinner and relaxed. I put on lingerie and He made good use of me that night.

This morning we went down to my mother's. That was a bit of a pain in the ass because they had three exits closed and the interstate down to two lanes. From there we went to my dad's. Each place we only stayed about two hours, but we have to get up early tomorrow, so we wanted some time together this evening.

We're just chilling. Master is playing a video game and I'm on the internet. We're just trying to unwind. Hopefully this upcoming weekend is a little less filled with people other than us. I enjoyed it. I had a great weekend, but now I want some us time, aside from the evenings after work. How likely is that? Probably slim to none.

June 27, 2009

Had A Damn Good Time

I didn't post last night because we got home somewhat late. And I was a bit buzzed, so I wasn't sure how much sense I would make.

But let's start at the beginning. :-)

I got out of work at noon, and took the bus home. I didn't know what time Master was getting out of work, so I tried to do everything I needed to in a hurry. On the bus ride home I had decided I wanted to be freshly shaved and have make-up on by the time He walked in the door. So once I got home I took care of the animals and then set to it.

First I took a bath and got myself clean and shaved. Once that was done, I put on eyeliner and mascara. I decided not to wear lipstick because I knew we'd be eating and I didn't feel like having to fix it every few minutes.

Once all that was done, I stayed undressed and just chilled on the computer. Once Master called to let me know He was on His way home, I knelt on my slave mat after making sure the doors were unlocked. So I was kneeling when He walked in the door, which seemed to please Him. I had been thinking about the rut we were in, and how I hadn't worn make-up in a while. So that is why I had decided to put that on, hoping it would please Him.

He commented on that fact as soon as He was comfortable. I smiled at that.

While Master took His shower, He asked me what I was wearing for the night. I said I had waited to ask Him what He wanted me in. He told me to put on something that will keep me cool, yet be comfortable at the same time. I didn't go with my usual choice of jeans and a t-shirt when He tells me to be comfortable. I'm proud of myself.

I picked a summer dress out and put it on. Master saw it before He hopped into the shower and said that it was a good choice.

While He was actually in the shower, I picked out a pair of thigh highs and put those on. Then my 5 inch heels and of course my slave anklets. I hadn't worn those in a while because the clasps had been sticking. But I messed with them a little and they work fine now. Yay!

When Master was out of the shower, He saw my stockings and said that I had done well in picking out my outfit. *beams* He then asked if I had chosen the dress for tonight, and then the stockings for when we got home. I giggled and said, "Yeah that was the plan." He laughed and called me a slut before He started getting dressed as well.

We stopped at the grocery store. We were going to have a BBQ at His god sister's house, and it was a "everyone bring something" kind of thing. So we picked up beer brats, chips, and soda.

Then we headed on down. We arrived before anyone else did. So we got to hang out with His god sister and His aunt. That was really cool. They are the kind of people I can just hang with and not feel like there are awkward silences just because Master isn't in the room. (That's how I feel when we are with His mother.. like I have nothing to talk about, or I am afraid to crack a joke..)

Shortly there after another person showed up. She is the god sister's friend and someone Master used to hang out with as well and hasn't seen in about 15 years. We started setting up the grill, and lawn chairs outside. But we waited for B to show up before we started cooking. B, as in the guy who takes me to work each morning.

Then Master cooked on the grill. *smiles* I don't know why but I enjoyed watching Him cook on a grill. Weird. We can't have a charcoal grill where we are, due to our lease. We could have a propane grill, but we both hate propane grills... so we'd rather not grill at all.

We all talked, joked around, and had a good time while we ate. It turned into an early birthday celebration for His god sister and a belated one for Him. So we all decided to go to a bar shortly after we were done eating. On our way there, B called up his kinda sorta girlfriend and she met us there later.

It was a hole in the wall bar, but Master and I love those kind of bars. We don't like huge crowds, bad music, and all that jazz. We prefer smaller bars where if you bring a group of people, you're not likely to lose track of one another or have to deal with things like not being able to hear one another. The god sister's ex boyfriend also showed up.

Master, B, the god sister, and the ex boyfriend all played pool. I love watching pool games. I don't play myself, and have no interest in playing. I like watching other people play the game though, a lot. We were all joking around, talking shit, you know.. the usual. It was a blast! Although B's kinda sorta girlfriend didn't talk much, didn't do much, and just kind of sat there. I mean yeah I know she didn't know most of the people there, but still.. she didn't even try. I didn't know some of the people there either, I still talked to them, cracked jokes, and all that.

I had 2 Mike's Hard Lemonade (omg.. I'd never had one before.. it is SO replacing Smirnoff Ice for me) and Master, His god sister, and I all did a shot to say cheers to their birthdays.

The entire time we were at the bar Master and I were flirting. He allowed me to cop feels when He was sitting at the table and no one could see. He even moved His leg so I'd have better access. *purr* He picked me up off the ground, we kissed and hung on one another most of the night. He checked to see how wet I was, again at a table where people couldn't really see. Yay for not wearing underwear!

I nipped His neck and ear a few times and He did the same to me. He would sit on a bar stool and have me stand in front of Him while holding me. I loved it. I forgot how we are at a bar we're comfortable in. And we were instantly comfortable at this one. I had missed that. Don't get me wrong, we don't drink much at all. But we still like hanging out with our friends in small bars. You don't have to get drunk to enjoy yourself at a bar. Master only had two jack and cokes and one shot of Blackhaus. I had my 2 Mike's and a shot of Blackhaus. And that was over the course of about 5 hours.

We played music on the jukebox and just enjoyed ourselves. It was a blast!

We decided to head out around 12:30am, because we had to go home and take the dog out. Plus we had both gotten up at 6:30am.

On the ride home I was really chatty, because I was buzzed. But I wasn't drunk. Not even close. I don't like how I am when I'm drunk, I get depressed.

When we got home Master took care of the dog, and while I was in the bathroom, standing at the sink, He stood behind me and lifted my dress so He could rub His bare cock against my ass. His hands roamed around under my dress, grabbing my hips, my tits, my stomach, my thighs. He then smacked my ass and walked away.

I took my dress off and kept my stockings and heels on, and laid down on my slave mat. But eventually Master told me I should take my heels off, because He knew my feet were starting to hurt. I did, but kept the stockings on.

We stayed up and talked, smoked our cigs, and just relaxed. Eventually we retired to the bedroom and He claimed me. It was absolutely amazing. It was rough, it was passionate, and it had me cross eyed at the end.

I cleaned Him off, took off my stockings, and scented myself. Master and I then curled up and fell asleep, both tired and in really good moods.

Today we're going to dinner with His mother.

As I was telling Master last night, before the incredible sex, I think that's what we needed. To go out, hang out, and have a good time. Whenever we go out like that we, for whatever reason, get really flirty with one another. We drop not so subtle hints, we cop feels, we hold one another.. the whole nine yards. Whenever we have a really good time, that's what happens.

I think we may be breaking out of that rut we were in. We're already trying to set up another get together for the midle of July with a group of friends. :-)

June 26, 2009

"I Get Off"

I heard this song not that long ago on the radio. Not to bad.

June 25, 2009

Slow Thursday

Well, yet another Thursday that went by slowly and didn't want to end... but oh well. It's almost over now. I think part of the reason why it went by so slowly today is because I know I get out at noon tomorrow, and I'm anxious to start the weekend.

Master had another long, tiring day at work. :-(

He called me literally two minutes before I was going to clock out to tell me that He was just then getting out of His job. So I told Him I would just take the bus home, since I knew He was sore and tired and just wanted to go home. Plus what sense did it make to have Him drive a half hour to where I was, and me wait there, and then drive another half hour home... none at all. Knowing the bus route home has been freeing in a way. I don't have to worry about scrambling to find someone who isn't working to come pick me up, or wait over an hour for said ride home. So I clocked out, and called Master back on my cell while I waited for the bus and He drove home.

He sounded grateful, in a way, to not have to come get me. I know He doesn't mind picking me up... but I also know that sometimes He wishes He could just go straight home because He's had a long day. I don't mind.

The bus took forever. Stupid festival traffic slowed everything down for a while. And then at one of the bus stops, one bus driver got off, and another got on. But they sat there and talked through two green lights before finally switching who was driving and the other one left. Bastards.

Once I got home, we ordered pizza, and then watched a movie. I took my bath and asked if He wanted me in anything. He said no, not tonight. So I'm just relaxing right now, or trying to.

I just feel kind of here at the moment.

I also asked if He would like me to beg tonight. It wasn't that I was trying to get out of it. I just don't want to be annoying, and He looks like He's pretty beat. I think the three days of being out in the sun, when there is a heat advisory, is catching up with Him. Although He may have a short day tomorrow. We can hope. And then we'll head over to His god sister's.

It's kind of weird calling her His god sister... since neither of us are Christian.. but that's what she is. So whatever.

Speaking of not being a Christian. One of my coworkers today was very hyper.. she was laughing, joking, and so I smiled and said, "Looks like someone had a lot of caffiene today."

Innocent comment. Unexpected reply.

Her response was this: "Nope. But I had a big cup of Jesus this morning."

I just stood there. I respect other people's beliefs.. but if I were to tell her that I had meditated and talked with Mother Wolf this morning she'd look at me like I was a nut. But I remained respectful. I smiled and nodded. I started to walk away. She followed me.

She asked me if I believed in God. So I paused, kind of cocked my head to the side and was about to say, "Define God..." when she followed up her question with.. "You beleive in something?" To which I confidently said, "Yes. You could put it that way."

I really don't like explaining my beliefs to Christians that are some what ... fanactical. Which she is.

So she shook her head, and said, "We're going to have to work on you then. Jesus makes you want to dance." And she, I shit you not, to dance a little bit. I just laughed and walked faster.. away... far.. far.. away.

First, what is this we stuff. And second, you're not going to change my mind. Now granted I could have said a number of things. I could have said, "I was raised Lutheran, and personally, I think it is all a bunch of bullshit. I have found my path, and I am glad that you have found your's."

Then again, I could have also said, "Listen you Jesus humping psycho..."

But I didn't do either of those things. When it comes to discussing religion in the work place, I don't like to lie, but I also don't like to be specific. I do not need to justify anything to a coworker, or anyone else for that matter... except for Master. Because He is not just my Master, and my Husband, He is my Teacher, and my Elder.

Talking about religion at work makes me uncomfortable. If someone talks about how they went to church over the weekend, that's one thing. I don't mind at all. It doesn't bother me. Or if someone says a little prayer while they are stressed out. Hey, I get it.. that's what you do. No problems here.

But when you start talking like that particular coworker.. I don't like it, and I don't appreciate it.

But I also don't want to make a big deal about it either. Now if she were to start discriminating against me because I am not a Christian, or started hassling me about how I need to find Jesus (who by the way, has been behind the couch the whole time) I would speak with my supervisor. Until that point, I don't see a reason.

I do have to admit though, that although it is normal to see someone walking around with a cross on a necklace, or even one posted in their workstation... I think someone would throw a shit fit if I put up a medicine wheel. Damn us heathens, and our wicked ways.

June 24, 2009

Day By Day

It's Wednesday. The work week is now half over. Work wasn't that bad today. They gave everyone free lunch, sodas, and bottled water. So that was pretty neat.

Poor Master was out in this damn heat again all day today. So needless to say by the time He picked me up He looked pretty tired. :-( Our friend had picked up the game for us, so we drove out to his place, I handed him the money, and he gave me the game. Master and I went home and I watched Master play His birthday present for a while. He now has Overlord 2. He loved the first game, and so far it seems He is loving this one as well.

After tomorrow is done, it'll be the beginning of a busy weekend. I'm hoping Master gets out at a decent time on Friday because we need to hit the grocery store and then head down to His god sister's for a BBQ. It's one of those BBQ's where everyone brings a little something, which is why we need to hit the grocery store.

After my bath Master decided He wanted me nude for this evening, although He was kind enough to allow me to wear one of His denim shirts. Yes, I know it's fucking hot out, but when we have the AC on I get cold rather quickly.

The heat has pretty much zapped His energy. Me? I'm just sort of here at the moment. But hey... three day weekend next week. Yay! My office is closing on July 3rd, to celebrate July 4th. So that's pretty cool. Master should have off as well.

I'm a little nervous about this BBQ on Friday though. I know Master (of course) and B (the guy who takes me to work) .. but I've only met His god sister a handful of times.. and the other people in attendance I don't know at all. Plus it's a get together for those of the group that used to hang out when they were teens/kids. So I'm worried that they'll be reminsing most of the night and I'm not going to know what the hell they are talking about. But oh well, I'm sure I'll have a good time anyway.

June 23, 2009

90 Days

Last night, after I took my bath and Master had read my blog post.. we relaxed in the living room for a good hour with none of the electronics on and just talked, which was nice.

We joked around but also talked serious for a while as well. We said that perhaps once a month we should set one night aside where it's just us. No friends, no family, no electronics.. just us.. going out and having a good time.. sort of like a date night. It'll add to our already in place "tradition" of going out to dinner together every Friday. Although this Friday we won't be going out to eat, we'll be going to His god sister's for a cook out.

We then went to bed and Master started playing with my tits, which lead to me playing with His cock while He switched back and forth between squeezing and carressing my neck. He claimed me and allowed me to cum several times before filling me with His cum. I cleaned Him off, scented myself, and we curled up and fell asleep.

This morning we both had to go into work early, but we got a little time together before we had to head out the door and go our seperate ways.

Today was my official 90 days at work. I didn't get my review yet, but I'll be sure to let ya'll know how it goes once I do. And I made it the whole 90 days without missing one day of work. :-D

Master picked me up from work and we went to the game store, because the game I'm getting Him for His birthday was supposed to be out. But it wasn't. So we cancelled our reservation at that particular store because they always do this shit. And so we are getting it tomorrow at a different store.

We came home, ate dinner, and relaxed for a while. It's been a pretty normal evening, although we've taken time to talk and be more affection than usual. I'm enjoying that.

In fact I'm going to cut this blog post here so I can spend more time with my Husband.

June 22, 2009

A Rut Is A Rut Is a Rut

This is somewhat based off of what Master posted about today, however.. it is something I've been meaning to post about anyway. I've just been trying to find a way to put it.

Before anyone gets their panties in a twist, before I read Master's post today, He told me on the way home from work that He wasn't mad at me, that we're both at fault, and some how we've gotten ourselves into a rut.

And we are. I've had my collar and cuff back for a while now. And since that time, I have been told I am being good, that I am doing well, etc and so on. But we've both seen, although not discussed, that we've placed ourselves into a rut and we both seem to not really care. Or at least not until recently. Obviously we didn't care, or didn't notice, because we didn't talk about it before now. And we haven't fully talked about it yet. We've just admitted that yes, we are in a rut and now we're each doing our own posts about it.

A few sections of His post really tugged at me.

"On the other hand she sometimes will come on all sex kitten and horny and I’m just like ..yawn I’m tired need sleep now. Like the thought of sex alone is enough to make me want to just crash out. It isn’t because she has lost any appeal to me at all she is to me as hot and sexy and attractive as I have ever found her to be. What it is how ever I couldn’t say because I just don’t know myself."

Yeah. I've noticed this. And I'm sure He's noticed my "subtle" reactions. This has been on a steady decline the longer He's been at His job. We used to have sex at least every other day. If we didn't, there was something wrong. And by something wrong I mean that one or both of us were sick, or we were so tired that we could barely raise our heads off the pillows to kiss goodnight.

Yes, last weekend we fucked twice in a row, one orgasm after another. But lately, that has been the exception rather than a rule. We hardly ever have sex during the week. And during the weekend? We usually wait until it's bed time. And then by that time, one or both of us are sore and tired. We used to just get horny and go fuck. That still happens, it just a lot more rare. And yes, I have a high sex drive.. so this is highly noticeable to me. I want sex, often. Multiple times. And I know His job wears Him right the hell out. What the hell do I expect when He's putting 14 to 16 hour days? For Him to have the energy to manhandle me and fuck the living hell out of me? Yeah right. Not gonna happen. And I know this. I try to remind myself of this, so that I don't get emotional about it or start to think it's me.

Why would I think it's me? I have self image issues. For instance, I put on a size 0 pair of pants today. Oh, they fit, they are just a little bit tighter than they used to be. I've put on a whopping (note the sarcasm) 10 pounds over the past year. Oh yes, before anyone points that out... I know it sounds fucking ridiculous. Ten pounds in a year? Oh no! I'm up to a massive 110 lbs. Someone quick! Hide the fried foods and put me on a diet. *rolls eyes* But when I look in the mirror, I look at myself and I go.. "You need to lose weight."

Like I said, I have self image issues. Also, before anyone freaks out, no I don't stop eating, and no I don't make myself throw up. I do not have an eating disorder. And of course since I'm thinking these things.. He must be. Ya know, cause He's shallow. Please. He's not. And I know this. But I'm worried about not looking attractive to Him anymore. I mean when I met Him I weighed more than I do now. I was 120 lbs, the most I've honestly weighed in my life.. and He wanted to fuck my brains out right there in the food court of the mall where we first met face to face.

And so, when we aren't having sex.. or at least not as often.. my self image issues rear their ugly heads and I freak out internally. I start to think, "Oh it must because I put on a little weight.." or "I must not look as good today.." It's nasty, and I hate it. Have I mentioned that I used to be diagnosed with clinical depression? Yeah. It shows doesn't it? I hate thinking these things. Because I don't think I'm ugly. I really don't.

I don't think I'm like the hottest thing on the face of this planet. I know there are women out there far more attractive than I am.. and some of them had to pay for that privilege. I have flaws. I have scars, I have old zit marks, I have stretch marks, I have lots of little flaws all over. And while I sometimes wish I could have perfectly smooth and unmarred skin, I know it's not going to happen. And I accept it. I don't freak out about it.

But the sex isn't just about the sex, it's about the intamacy. It's about the connection, and it's about the need.. the lust.. the knowing how badly He wants me and how badly I want Him. And when He works I try to tell myself ahead of time, like before I even get home from work, how tired and sore He is going to be. How phyiscally intense His job truly is. That way, when He says, "Baby I'm sorry, but I'm just so damn tired.." I'm expecting it and I don't get all bat shit crazy about it. Instead I do what I should do. I smile. I kiss His forehead and I tell Him I understand. Because what kind of a shrew of a wife would I be if I didn't? He goes out there and busts His ass all day, so we have two incomes... what am I gonna do? Whine, bitch, moan, complain that I'm not getting enough attention. That my desires aren't being met? *snort* Those thoughts make me wanna slap myself, knock on my own thick skull and go "Hello bitch, it's not about you. Your man is tired. He's busted His ass, and He just wants to rest. So knock it the fuck off." Because I honestly am not really like that. I detest the fact that such thoughts wiggle through my brain waves.

But then the weekend comes. And if He has off, and we haven't done much.. I wonder why when we go to bed He just wants to sleep. Those nasty, "It's me.. It's something I've done or not done.." sneak on in. This past weekend, we had sex once. We had the whole weekend to ourselves.

Yes, yes I know.. sex lives, as all other things, go up and down. But it's like I said.. I wonder. I worry. Last night we went to bed and we laid down. He told me to curl up and get some rest. I sighed. He said, "I love you." I said, "I love You too." But it wasn't with a lot of emotion because I was trying not to become emotional about it. He said, "Well that sounded like you meant it." And I said, "I do. I'm just horny." And He said nothing. I don't think He knew what to say, really. So I turned onto my side and we went to sleep.

Also I don't want it to sound like the lack of sex is on all Him or His job. Because it's not. I will sometimes be very horny, and I don't beg.. or I don't try to seduce Him. I just kind of drown myself in day to day bullshit because I'm afraid He's to tired. Or I am tired and sore. I've basically built it up so much in my head, that it's like.. I'm afraid to initiate it. Also, because I'm wanting Him to initiate it. But if I'm acting like I don't want to, by not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.. begging.. scenting.. asking what He wants me in... how the hell is that supposed to make Him feel? Oh I assume like it makes me feel... like the other person isn't interested.

Funny that. For the past six years we haven't been able to keep our hands off of one another. Where the fuck did this start. Not when. But where. How the hell did this happen?

He is so incredibly sexy to me. I love the way He looks, how He feels inside me. I love how He smells, and what He tastes like. I love His weight on top of me. I love the roughness, and I love the gentle caresses. I love Him. And yet... this is where we ended up.

And sometimes I wonder if it is effecting our marriage. You know that old saying.. "Problems in the bedroom will follow you down the hall.."

Another thing He said that tugged at me was this:
"Damn what happened? We used to be so different."

Amen. We did. We used to be a lot different. Working or not, tired or not, no matter what time we used to have to get up in the morning, we'd stay up and talk for hours. Literally until we were like, "Damn, we better get some sleep cause we have to get up in four hours."

We'd have sex no matter how tired we were, because we just wanted one another that much. He'd lead and I would follow without question. Our affection level is almost at the same level. It's dipped a little bit. I'm afraid to start it sometimes, because I don't want to try and have it lead to other things and be told no or for Him to be so sore that I get a little to playful with my affection and it hurts Him. The list goes on.

We talked more, we had more fun. Now? During the week, we go to work, we come home, we eat dinner, we go on the computer, we watch a movie, and we go to sleep. During the weekend, unless it has actual plans with other people.. we sit around going.. "So what do you wanna do?" and then neither of us can come up with an idea or if we do, we can't afford it or it doesn't sound so appealing once we start getting ready to head out the door, and we drop it... and then what? We do what we do during the week. We eat, we watch a movie, we go on the computer.

Ruts fucking suck and I'm tired of this one.

And ruts can kill everything. Seriously. It happened to my parents. The rut gets deeper and deeper, and neither person in the couple work to fix it.. and so one or the other gets bored, or gets angry, or resentful.. placing all the blame on one person's shoulders and that grows with time. A rut can lead to all of these things.. which turns it all to poison.

I'm not saying I'm bored with my Husband, or resentful, or angry. I'm just saying that I don't want this to happen to us. Especially since such things can sneak up on ya so damn quickly, in such a way that you don't really notice it or if you do you think nothing of it and figure it'll pass.

Hell this rut snuck up on us. And neither of us said shit until today.

Marriage is work. Dynamics within a marriage are work. If you don't work at it, it crumbles.

June 21, 2009

More Changes In Plans

We were supposed to go down to my mother's today. But about a half hour before we were going to head down, she called telling me that she had to babysit my nephews. So we decided to switch it to next week Sunday.

So yeah. The busy weekend that was supposed to happen this week... ended up being the weekend we had alone. Next weekend? That's going to be the busy one. Friday is His god sister's, Saturday is probably going to be His mother's, and Sunday is my mother's. But that may be a better thing, because that'll be paycheck week.

Although for some odd reason, it doesn't really feel like we had the weekend to ourselves. Maybe because it wasn't planned that way? I don't know. But that's what it was. We had Friday night alone, Saturday alone, and today alone.

Although we are going a little stir crazy. Yesterday Master was restless, and today I was restless. But then I got a headache that wouldn't go away, so that squashed the restlessness.

We honestly havn't done much this weekend. We bought dog and rabbit food, a new fan, ate food, watched movies, and watched TV series on Netflix. That's been about it.

I'm really hoping Master's job doesn't call Him in next weekend. We have a lot to do, and I want to do it all. I want to go to His god sister's. She is very nice, and we havn't seen her in over 2 years. His mom's? Well, I just want to get that done. Sometimes it's very difficult to get an "appointment" with her. My mom? I just wanna see her.

I'm hoping that sometime in the next month I can get some new work clothes. I found this nice shop that sells business casual clothing that I like the style of. It's New York & Company. I saw a store at the local mall, and I went on their website.. and OMG I want some of those clothes. This is one of those rare "girl" moments, where I want to go clothes shopping. I normally loathe it, but for some reason I have this itch to buy new clothes.. and yes... new high heels. I would love to just take like.. $200.. and blow it on clothes and heels. Some of the clothing at these stores I would even like to wear outside of work. And I have a coupon! Saving money on clothes always rocks. Especially if you can find something on clearance to begin with.

I would also like to buy some new nighties. I have one that I love... and since I got my piercings, I've been wearing it to bed a lot. I don't like wearing a bra to bed, so I figured this is sexy, and protects my piercings at the same time. I havn't had a problem yet with my nipple piercings getting snagged or anything of that nature. So I figure if I have more choices in nighties, it won't be so boring for Master while I'm sleeping and for Him to wake up to.

June 20, 2009

Change In Plans

Well the weekend plans have changed. Yesterday, after Master and I both got home Master decided He wanted to go down to my dad's that night, rather than Sunday.

So we did. The weather seemed fine on our way down there, until about 15 minutes into the drive. Then a huge storm passed through. By huge, I mean massive. It covered a lot of area and had hail, strong winds, thunder, lightning, heavy rain, and some tornado funnels. But we made it down there just fine. We chilled and relaxed for a few hours before heading back home. By that point, the storm was over. There was a lot of flooding in certain areas, but not on any of the streets that we were on thankfully.

Also, His mother had called. First off, lightning had stuck her place and had put a hole in her roof in the guest room. Apparently that got fixed/patched rather quickly. Then she said she wanted to cancel our plans for Saturday (today) because she wasn't feeling well. Master said that she may not be feeling well, but there was this underlying issue in her voice. We both figure that her and her boytoy had a fight or some such shit. On the one hand, we were kind of glad to have the day to ourselves, but on the other.. we were supposed to be celebrating Master's birthday and she put it off because she had a fight with her "man". Whatever.

So on the way home from my father's we grabbed a late dinner, went home, relaxed for a little while and then went to bed. This is why I didn't post last night. We got home around 11pm and Master and I were both tired as hell.

Today we got up and just sort of chilled. We watched a few movies, ate, had sex, and that was about it. It's been a lazy Saturday. Our plans to go visit my mother tomorrow remain in place however.

Master's mother is talking like she wants to reschedule the get together at her house for next weekend. We are also going to Master's god sister's house on Friday for a cookout.

One of these weeks we'll actually get a weekend to ourselves.

On a work related note, my 90 days are officially done on this upcoming Tuesday. I don't know if I'll be getting my actual review on that day.. but I'm still excited about it.

June 18, 2009


Damn you Thursday for taking so long to END. *shakes fist*

Seriously, today dragged. I even told one of my coworkers today that it felt like a Friday, and she agreed. And now? It's only 9:30pm. That's some bullshit right there. *sigh*

It's hot, and it's muggy, and I want it to be the weekend.. and..and.. I'm whiny. Can ya tell?

My lower back hurts, I'm on the rag, Master and I are both lethargic, blah..blah..blah.

But tomorrow is Friday. And then, it's the busy weekend.

Master and I are currently debating as to whether or not we should turn on the AC. I hate turning that thing on. We'll probably turn it on tomorrow once we get home from work.

Of course it's the kind of AC that is built into the wall, and it faces another wall.. not out into the living room.. no.. that would make sense. And the windows we have aren't the type where you can put a wall AC in. Blah. So we're going to have to buy a couple stand up fans soon to help circulate the cold air that the AC pumps out. Thankfully we have a fan in the bedroom already. Master can't sleep without white noise, and of course now that I've lived with Him for four years.. neither can I.

In fact when we went to Sybaris, we had to turn on the waterfall at night just so there would be noise. (We didn't feel like lugging a fan with us.)

So yeah, hell of an update huh? Tired, cranky, and warm. Blah.

June 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Master

First, a happy birthday wish to my mate! I love You!

Today is Master's birthday. (Obviously.) He is 34 today. We both had to go to work, but at least He had a regular eight hour day so He was able to pick me up from work and we had dinner together.

We watched some shows on the X Box 360 and then I took my bath. Poor Master's back. It's really bothering Him today.

Right now we're just trying to relax and enjoy some down time before we try to get through Thursday and Friday.

This weekend is booked. I know I've said it before, but it just seems like we have a lot going on. And now next weekend His god sister wants us to visit so Master and her can visit with the "old clan", which means I'll be the new girl on the block so to speak. That's kind of weird to get used to since Master and I have been together for 6 years. But when we were first dating Master had lost contact with His god sister and didn't talk to any of the friends that she is mentioning. In fact He didn't get back in contact with His god sister until just before our wedding. Thankfully she was able to attend, so I got to know her a little bit. She's a sweetie.

B, the friend who picks me up and takes me to work each morning, is also going to attend.. so I'll know a total of three people out of who ever the hell shows up.

So needless to say our goal of having a weekend alone together is looking more and more like an impossibility. Lately we've either had to work (one or both of us), friends have wanted to get together, or family things have been going on.

Some people say, "Well you get to see each other every night." And while I am thankful for such, because I remember the days where we could only see each other about once or twice a week.. now that we're four years into living together.. that's not enough. I've become more greedy over the years I guess.

That's not a bad thing though, because Master doesn't mind. In fact He enjoys it. I used to worry about coming across as clingy, but He is the same way with me. He wants to spend as much time with me as He can. So, yep. We're addicted to one another.

So a very happy birthday to my Husband! I'm off to find a movie for us to watch on Netflix.

June 16, 2009

Tuesday Down... Three Days To Go

I got up when the alarm went off and got ready for work. Master told me that He was staying home from work today and I said "Okay."

He hasn't quit. He hasn't decided if and/or when He wants to call OSHA. But we do have one of the warning labels and I'm keeping it in a safe place.

Work dragged a bit today. I couldn't get myself fully awake. I think it had something to do with the weather, because it was raining and I had a headache from the pressure. It felt like it was going to storm, but it didn't. Just rain.

However, Master did get His driver's license renewed. Whoo-hoo! It has the correct address on it, finally. *laughs* And it also has a new picture, which is good because the old one didn't even look like Him anymore. What with the short hair and weight loss. Now it doesn't need to be renewed until 2017. It sounds a ways off, but it'll be here before we know it.

I have to renew mine next year, in March.

I talked to Master for a while on the phone today while I was at work. He enjoyed His day of relaxation.

He picked me up from work and we went home, ate dinner, watched a movie, and that's about it. He's slap happy, and I'm still not awake from this morning and it's damn near 9:30pm. I hope tomorrow I have more energy. Today it was difficult to focus, and I hate that feeling.

Tomorrow is Master's birthday! We both have to work, which sucks.. but Master says we'll celebrate this Friday, since the weekend is taken up with family stuff. And His birthday present doesn't get released until next week Tuesday. That's kind of funny actually. My 90 days at work, and His video game/birthday present, happen on the same day. Figures huh? My 90 days, and He gets stuff. *giggles* ;-) Joking Master. I want You to have that video game so I can watch You play it. :-D

June 15, 2009

Monday Confusion

Today has been a day of confusion. Not with my job, my job is going smoothly still.

However, Master's job has been a subject that is causing more and more confusion.

His schedule is kicking His tail. It's highly erratic. And we're trying to figure out how the hell He's going to find a different job, when He doesn't have a schedule to speak of and there for can't schedule interviews without leaving early, coming in late, or taking the day off (for instance if He schedules more than one in a day).

They still have not let Him leave work early so He can renew His driver's license. It expires Wednesday. He brought up the fact that if it expires He won't be able to drive to work, or drive any of the work pick up trucks to one of His supervisors today and they said that He should do it on His own time. So He said that He can't, since He starts work before the DMV opens and by the time He gets out of work they are either closed, or will be by the time He gets there. There was no reply, the supervisor just walked away, ya know.. cause he's a dill hole.

At one point today, before my lunch break Master called me and said, "Guess what they are having me do..." I couldn't guess, so He told me.

They were having Him pour an additive for disel fuel from the container it came in, into big plastic containers. Not a big deal, except they were only having Him do it while wearing cloth gloves, nothing to cover His nose and/or mouth.. and guess what the warning label says? Basically it says, "This product is known to cause cancer." Fucking cancer.

After we got off the phone, while I was on my lunch break.. I was talking to my mother and freaking out about this. I mean they aren't exactly health concious at His job anyway, unless they are actually at a job site.. and that's only because their clients are watching them.. but fucking causes cancer?!

So my mom tried to calm me down, and I basically asked her what she would do if her husband was going through all this shit with his job.. and she said she would take her chances and ask him to put in his two weeks.

So I called Master and He said He would think about it.

We are basically weighing the pros and cons. The wife in me, that is concerned about His health and wants Him around forever is going, "Quit! Danger to Your health!!! Huge danger to Your health."

But He is countering it with.. "We can't afford it."

And He's right.

My paychecks cover all the bills. So our bills will be paid no matter what, but then we'll basically have no money for food or regular living expenses. He'd probably get unemployment, but we don't know how much. We have some savings, but not a lot.

I checked, and even with no income on His end, we make to much to get food stamps. Not that I'd be proud to use it, but if it means we get to eat.. I would. But even with just my paycheck, we make to much per month.

If He quits, we'd have to drastically change our spending habits. We'd have to drop either the house phone, or His cell phone. We wouldn't be able to go out, or anything of that nature. Basically, to make a long story short, we'd go back to the way we were when He was unemployed before. The only differences are that He wasn't getting any unemployment at all, we were behind on bills to begin with (now we're current in all of our bills). But we don't want to go back to the way we were ya know? We don't want to get into another hole that's going to take damn near a year (or more) to drag ourselves out of it. Also before we were selling stuff when we needed extra cash. Now? We have nothing left to sell. The computer isn't worth shit, all we have is a TV, His X-Box 360 and a DVD player as far as electronics go. And um yeah.. no. We need some form of entertainment other wise we'd probably go ape shit.

So Master is debating, and I'm just sitting here waiting. I don't know what to do or say. I had valid points in wanting Him to quit, He has valid points as to why He needs His job. Etc and so on.


I don't know what to do. I just.. don't.

June 14, 2009

Another Weekend Dies

First, I'll get the normal stuff out of the way, then the kink. ;-)

This weekend Master has had to go to work each day. Granted yesterday He didn't go to work for long, but damnit it still counts. He's had a 7 day work week. Poor Hubby. :-(

But this morning He called me on His way home from work to ask me if I would like anything from McDonalds because He was going there to grab some breakfast. I told Him what I wanted and He said, "Okay baby, sit tight and I'll bring you breakfast in bed." *melt*

But I was awake and to excited to stay in bed, so I went out into the living room. Why was I excited? Because Master was coming home of course. We sat in the living room and ate out breakfast.

This weekend has pretty much been screwed because of His job. And next weekend we are seeing His mother on Saturday and then my mother, and then my father on Sunday. Yeah. Not a lot of time for us, but the weekend after the one coming up? Oh yeah. I'm hoping it's a "lock down" weekend of just us. That would be wonderful.

So okay, miscellaneous stuff out of the way. On to the kink!

Master and I spent most of today, after our breakfast, just relaxing and watching weird stuff on TV and the computer. At one point, after something we were watching had finished I crawled over to Him and started nipping His neck and tuggging on His earlobe with my teeth. I even went so far as to climb up onto His lap without an invitation. I was horny, and I was begging in a new way I guess. But He shooed me off of His lap and walked over to the computer. I sighed and sat down on my slave mat, thinking that was that.. He was to tired, or to sore, or what have you. I tried not to pout, I don't know if I accomplished that or not.

But after He was done on the computer (about 10 minutes later) He walked up to my slave mat and held out His hand. I grabbed His hand and He pulled me to my feet, placed a hand on my shoulder and walked me to the bedroom. He had me get on the bed and lay down next to Him. We kissed for a while and then He told me I would be licked everywhere that I was pierced, much to my enjoyment. I was really revved by that point and when He entered me I completely let go of myself. I was talking dirty, begging Him to fuck me harder, to not stop.. telling Him how He is the only one who knows how to fuck me.. things like that. This in turn drove Him over the edge and we both went a little primal. He was biting my ear and I was nipping His neck and chest. It was incredible. After He filled me with His cum He collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my legs around His back and my arms around His neck.

I was very sensative, so every twitch of His cock made me moan and I started to gring against Him while He was still inside of me. He told me I was allowed to cum again, and I did. By that time He was hard once more, and He put us both on our sides and claimed me once again, at the end having me on my stomach with His legs hooked into mine as He pinned me down to use me.

Twice in a row! Whoo-hoo! I love it when that happens.

Then it was time to clean Him off with my mouth. He stressed the word "gently" and I was very gentle.. I just didn't stop right away. But Master was also very sensitive so He told me not to be greedy, which I smiled at and told Him I couldn't help. He chuckled and dipped His fingers into me and placed my own cum on my chest, scenting me.

The rest of the day has been pretty normal, but man.. I'm horny again. But Master has been up since a little after 4am so I think we're just going to sleep tonight. That is unless I can convince Him otherwise. But I know He is tired. He looks tired.

I love Him very much, and I don't want to push my luck and have Master over tired for work tomorrow.

June 13, 2009

Afternoon Stress Relief

Last night around 11:30pm Master's cell phone went off. He didn't recognize the number right off hand, so He let it go to voice mail. About 10 minutes later, the house phone started ringing and it was His mother's boyfriend/coworker. He had me answer the phone.

He asked to speak to Master, but I lied and said that He was already asleep and that the phone had actually woken me up. Why did I lie? To try and get him off the phone. Well it turns out that the reason why he was calling was because one of the supervisors from their work called him trying to get a hold of Master. Fuck. Apparently, that was who had called Master's cell phone.

So Master calls the supervisor back and is told that sometime between 2am and 6am He will need to drive two counties south to pick up two other coworkers because the driver who was there was out of hours, meaning he couldn't drive them back to the shop. I was pissed. Not at Master, because believe you me, He wasn't happy about it either.

I was pissed for a few reasons... First off, Master already has to work Sunday. Secondly, why the fuck would you schedule something to be done when you know the driver will not be able to drive them back to the shop and then send a laborer who doesn't have a fucking driver's license, so he can't drive either. Retarded motherfuckers.

We had been planning on having sex as soon as we were finished watching what we were watching, before we went to sleep. But not knowing when Master was going to have to head out the door smashed that. Instead we went to sleep.

The phone rang around 3am and Master left. It was supposed to be a quick drive down, pick them up, and drive back. But of course nothing is that easy. Master didn't get home until 7am. He came back to bed, curled up with me, and we both fell back asleep.

I got up around 11:30am. I let Master sleep and went into the living room for a while. I knew He must have been exhausted. He had gotten up at 5am yesterday morning, had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep last night and then had to get up at 3am to go back to work. And tomorrow? He has to be at work by 6am again. I hate His job. I truly do. And yes I know we should be thankful that He's employed right now, and I am.. but that doesn't mean I can't hate His job so much that it makes me want to walk right into His manager's office and bitchslap him.

Part of Master's job is to drive the regular pick up trucks. It's in His non existent job description, so to speak. But yet He gets paid the same as the other laborer who doesn't have a driver's license. Master has been there for about 7 to 8 months now and has not gotten any sort of review or raise. (I'm going off of the 90 day mark.. you know.. like most jobs..) No talk of benefits or anything.

But there isn't much we can do at this point. We need Him to be working, and so He keeps going. I know He hates it. And I wish we had other options, but right now nothing else has panned out. Hopefully that will change soon.

Well around 1:30pm I started second guessing myself about letting Master sleep much later, because I know He has to get up early tomorrow morning.

So I go into the bedroom and run my fingers through His hair long enough for Him to roll onto His back, since He had been laying on His side.

I then slid into bed, under the covers, with Him and laid my head on His chest. I then laid one of my arms across His chest. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and grabbed my wrist with His other hand. We laid there for a moment, just enjoying that. Then my hand slid down and I started stroking Him. He said, "Good morning, slut."

I smiled and continued to stroke His cock. He chuckled and said that He was awake, to which I replied, "Well part of You is anyway."

He just smiled with His eyes still closed, as I moved the blankets and straddled Him. He guided His cock into me as I pushed back and soon He was in to the hilt.

I rode Him rather hard, and came several times before He filled me with His cum. I laid on top of Him for a few moments and then got up and cleaned Him off with my mouth. He was highly sensitive so He had me stop after a short period of time.

From there we both went into the living room and relaxed for a little while. Master took His shower and then we headed out to the mall. Master was spoiled today. He got two new pairs of jeans. His old jeans were falling off of Him even with His new belt, so He really needed new ones. He also found a new t-shirt that He really liked, a video game that He wanted, and a pair of earrings for His ear (it's pierced twice). He got hoop earrings, which look hot as hell on Him.

When we got home I put His new earrings in for Him, and we chilled for a little while. Then I remembered that I wanted to go and buy some bus tickets, so I don't always have to remember to keep $2 on me. I went out and bought those, came home and we watched more of that fucked up TV show I posted about yesterday.

Master is in bed now. I tucked Him in, but I wasn't quite tired yet and I didn't want to keep Him up with my tossing and turning. So for now, I'll let Him drift off to sleep and I'll try and let my insomia die down on it's own before joining Him.

June 12, 2009

Half Day

Master had to be to work by 6am. He said goodbye to me before He left, and I drifted back to sleep for a little while. I got up when my alarm went off, got dressed and B took me to work.

I only had to work until noon today, since I switched to the half day program where every other Friday I get out at noon. So I walked to the bus stop I needed. At least I knew which one to go to this time. The bus showed up right on time, 12:10pm.

I got off of the bus a few stops sooner than the one to take me home. Why? Well I didn't know when Master was getting out of work and I know we needed a couple of things. So I went to Walgreens, grabbed those few things and then had a nice walk home.

I should have given up my fear of buses sooner. Getting out at noon was nice, and the walk was relaxing. Once I got home, my thighs had that burn to them like after a workout. So that tells me two things. One, that I actually got a little bit of a work out. Two, I'm out of shape apparently. I used to walk a lot farther than that w/out that sensation. Note to self, more excersize.

I'm still thinking about taking up Yoga. I think it will help with my muscle and joint pain.

So anyway, I put away the things I bought, thinking of how pleased Master would be that I did such instead of waiting until He got home so I could use the car.

I took care of the dog, and took out all the trash. Again, hoping He would be pleased.

He got home around 3:30pm. So we knew we weren't going to make it to the DMV in time. Which means Monday and Tuesday are really the only days Master will be able to go before His license expires, since His birthday is Wednesday and of course your license expires during a certain year on your birthday. That makes no sense to me. Oh well.

I was kneeling on the floor when He walked in the door. He was sore, and very tired. I told Him what all I had done and He said thank you, but didn't seem as pleased as I had hoped. But I didn't let that get to me because I knew He had had a very long day and was pretty much just on auto pilot.

So Master took His shower and I took the car to the gas station to put gas in it and grab cigs.

From there we relaxed for a little while and then went out to dinner. Master at first thought about going out, but changed His mind once He realized how worn out He was.

So we came home and watched some weird show called "Hunger". It's an erotic tales from the crypt type show. The stories are short, the opening sequence is annoying as hell, and of course they show all tits and ass but no naked guys. That always makes me wonder why the hell men are so damn nervous to get naked in front of a camera and flash their junk. Chickens. Not that I really care if they show a man naked on a TV show, I just always found that to be stupid. Chicks are usually known for being extremely nervous about their looks and the camera adding 10 pounds, etc and so on, but they are always the ones showing their tits, their ass, and their bush (usually untamed bush at that).

It's a show I'm not sure if I like. So while Master continues to flip through the episodes, I thought I'd hop on and do my daily post and dick around online. I do know that I prefer Tales From The Crypt a hell of a lot more. But some of this show (Hunger) is some what interesting.

Wow. I totally just went on a rant about a TV show. I'm reaching for subject matter at this point, and I'm rambling.

So until tomorrow...

June 11, 2009


I wonder if anyone is reading at this point. Or if they are, if they are just skimming through.

There hasn't been a lot going on and honestly I can't think of much to blog about.

Master and I have been on the wrong foot today. He wasn't in the best of moods, and my tone on the phone while we were both at work wasn't the greatest. So yeah.

Master didn't get out of work on time, so B took me home. Master was already out of the shower by the time I walked in the door. We had dinner and watched Monster-In-Law. It's kind of chick flickish but I find it funny, and Master apparently finds it amusing as well.

Work was some what busy today but it died down towards the end of my shift.

My 90 days are coming to an end. (Less than two weeks.) So they sent me a form asking me to evaluate myself. I hate doing those. I don't want to come across as conceited or like I have a big head or anything, but I also don't want to come across like I'm being way to modest. I try to get that middle ground in between those two points, and I think I accomplished that. They also sent out a notification to all of the employees asking for any feedback on me.

So once I do get my review, it should prove to be interesting.

Master and I are okay. We've been getting along all evening. I think stress is a factor, as well as just being tired of the day to day stuff. Ya know?

I had to work for a while last Saturday and then we visited friends, and then on Sunday we had gone down to visit my father. This weekend Master has to work. So it's like what little "quality" time we do have, that lasts longer than a few hours each night, is dwindling as of late.

But we each have off on July 3rd. So that'll create a three day weekend, as long as nothing goes wrong. *crosses paws*

June 10, 2009

Just A Little Bit More

Just one more day and it'll be Friday, which means it'll be payday. I have no idea how much our paychecks will be, but we've been scraping by the past week so anything is welcome at this point.

Unfortunately our weekend is shot. Saturday we have errands to run.  Sunday? Master has to work. Boo! Boo damnit! (Boo again.)

Also, I just found out that our local DMV is not open on the weekends.... at all. So now we have to try and talk Master's job into letting Him out early on Friday so He can get to the DMV before it closes.

Work dragged again today. I just could not get myself motivated at all. Master had a shitty day at work. Partially because He found out He has to work on Sunday.

We went to bed around 10pm last night. That's a little early for us. But Master was beat, and I didn't want to stay up by myself. So instead I went to bed with Him.

I had one hell of a migraine at work. But I pushed through it. There was no way I wanted to go home early when I'm so close to my 90 days that I can almost taste it. Two more weeks! Whoo!

Wow, I'm talking about work a lot lately. But honestly there isn't much else to talk about. Master has been very tired, so most nights we just eat dinner, watch weird stuff on the TV and then go to bed. Rinse and repeat.

I'm not complaining. I know how tired He is, and how much He needs His rest. I'm just glad that I get to spend as much time with Him as I do.

Work was busy today. Someone got fired yesterday, and their workload got redistrubuted. When it was, they discovered she was behind and so they all wanted to play catch up at the exact same time. And when I left work, it looked like the morning wasn't going to be much better. Blah.

So yeah, there's my day. I'm hoping to get to some more lengthy posts soon. Well, as soon as I don't feel like I'm rambling on about nothing at all anyway.

June 9, 2009

Ramble, Ramble, Ramble

I've got nothing. It's like my writing has gone way down hill lately. I can't think of a lot to write about to be perfectly honest. I think part of it may be because I'm just trying to get through the week to the weekend.

Our schedules have been screwy. My work schedule changed, and I'm getting used to that, although I'm enjoying it. Master's work schedule has been non existent as usual, but has been at more wacky hours.

This morning His alarm went off at 3:30am. He got up, and I woke up long enough to change the alarm to when I needed it to sound off. He woke me up to say goodbye, as He does every morning if we don't get up at the same time, which I love. I love the fact that He makes sure I know that He said goodbye and that He loves me.

Whenever we go to sleep, whenever we get off the phone, and whenever we leave the house separately, we say "I love you". It's just something we do. It's a bit superstitious on my end of things. In case something, anything, happens I want one of the last things I said to Him to be "I love you". Like I said, it's weird. I call it a sappy/morbid superstition.

After He left I mainly tossed and turned. I kind of slept, but I woke up about every 20 minutes until my alarm went off at 6:30am. So I'm tired, but not really all that sleepy.

Work dragged today. Yesterday went by rather quickly, which I was surprised by since it was a Monday. But today? Drrrraaaagggggggggggeeeddd.

Master was out of work by 12:30pm, since He had started so damn early.

I thought He would have taken a nap once He got home, but He said He couldn't sleep. But He was able to pick me up today, which I enjoyed. Once we got home Master made us some home made nachos. Yummy. A little while later we ate dinner, and watched some Mythbusters. That show is fucked up.

I took my bath after begging, and then did my piercing after care. I'm going to need more saline solution this weekend. Also, we have to go grocery shopping and get Master's driver's license renewed. We don't want it to expire, so if we do it this Saturday it'll be renewed a whole four days before His birthday.

Unfortunately His birthday present, the video game: Overlord 2, doesn't come out until the week after that. But at least I know what to get Him. He's been drooling over the demo for a few days now.

I hope the game lives up to His expectations. :-) I'll enjoy watching Him play it. I play video games as well, but not that kind. I'm more into fighters and racing games.

June 8, 2009

Work, Work, And More Work

Master had to be to work by 6am today. I was able to sleep for a little while after He left. Once I did get up, I got ready for work and B dropped me off.

My coworker is back, thankfully. I was also able to finish up the packet I had started on Saturday.

My supervisor approved my schedule change. So now I will get out of work a little bit later, and my lunch will be a little shorter. However, I will get out at noon every other Friday. The really kick ass part is that my first half day Friday is this upcoming Friday! Whoo-hoo!

I have a feeling I'm not going to know what to do with myself.

Well Master called me to tell me to be careful on the way home, because shortly after He got out of work the tornado sirens went off by our apartment. He was very tired, and had asked me to find a way home. So B was nice enough to pick me up and drop me off.

The fog got so bad at certain times today that I couldn't see across the street when I looked out the window. That's kind of freaky when you're a few floors up.

I made it home fine. In fact by the time I got home the skies were clear and it was just sort of humid out. Mother Nature was in an odd, odd mood today.

Once I got home I took the car to put gas in it, pick up cigs, and hit the grocery store.

We had pizza for dinner and watched a movie before I took my bath. Master has already retired for the evening as He has to get up at 3:30am. Poor Master. :-(

He said that I could stay up, as long as it was not to late.

June 7, 2009

Not Alot To Say

Honestly, I don't have a lot to say today.

We slept until almost noon, which is very rare these days.

After we got up, I did Master's work laundry and then relaxed for a little while. Then out of no where, Master decided He wanted to go down and visit my dad for a while. So I called ahead, and my father said that would be fine.

We went down there and relaxed for a few hours. On the ride home we decided to go out for a bite to eat.

Once we got home I took my bath and put on a see through nightie. I love this thing. It's comfortable and sexy.

In a short two weeks, I'll have my 90 day review at my job. That went by really fast actually. And tomorrow I get to find out if my new schedule request was approved. If it was I'll get out of work at noon every other Friday. Then I'll take a bus home and be home to greet Master. :-)

This Friday is payday. Yay!

What sucks about us sleeping in until noon is that I'm not tired and it's almost 11pm. I'm going to be sleepy as hell tomorrow. May need coffee.

See, I told you I didn't have a lot to say.

June 6, 2009

Let The Weekend Begin!

Last night when Master and I retired to the bedroom, since my VCH is healed now, Master decided He was going to eat me out and finger me. I came pretty hard and then He pulled me up to a sitting position by my collar.

He put me on all fours and fucked me, hard. To the point that I started cramping pretty badly. He had me lay down on my stomach and continued to fuck me until He filled me. Afterward, He allowed me to remain where I was and got me an aspirin and some water as well as a cigarette.

Once the cramping died down a little bit, I got up to put a bra and thong on to sleep in (due to the piercings) and then cleaned Him off. We then curled up and shortly there after Master was snoring. I couldn't fall asleep right away, but after the aspirin kicked in and my cramps were fully gone I finally drifted off to sleep.

Unfortunately it was not a full night's sleep. I continously woke up on and off through out the night. I hate that. I got up at 7am and headed to work for some overtime. I was planning on four hours, but only stayed for three because I was itching to get home and relax with the little bit of time that we actually had to ourselves. But hey, three hours of overtime is better than nothing.

When I got home, Master had literally just woken up. I was glad for that because He has been getting up at crazy hours lately and hasn't been sleeping well. It was nice to see Him well rested for a change. Maybe the orgasm last night helped.

We watched 1408 (I love that movie!) and shortly there after headed over to a friend's house. We had dinner and relaxed while we were there. Master and the husband of the couple talked mainly about movies, FX, and video games. I just basically made small talk with the wife of the couple. I have nothing in common with her really, and she constantly interupts me and talks over me. So yeah. Fun.

When we got home I took a nice long hot bath and put on an outfit so I would look nice for Master. Then we relaxed in the living room for a while, each of us reading our new books. I don't know why, but I find that really relaxing. Just sitting in a room with my Husband, each of us captured in our own little worlds via a book... it just feels so peaceful.

June 5, 2009

It Feels Like Thursday

It really does. Why? Because I have to go into work tomorrow to input 79 pages of data. Each sheet of paper having a good 25 pieces on it. I think I can knock it out in about 3 or 4 hours. If it even takes me that long.

There are three things I'm really good at:

1) Data Entry/Typing

2) Being sarcastic

3) Fucking

And no, those are not in a particular order. ;-)

Master was able to pick me up from work today. He got out by 4pm and we were happily on our way home after that. We went home for a little while, and after I had done the chores He had assigned me while He was in the shower we got ready and went out to dinner, our Friday ritual.

He ordered me to wear a pink top (it's like the only pink thing I wear outside of work) and my jean mini skirt with heels. My ankle feels a lot better today. During the car ride Master kept rubbing my thighs and smiling at me. It made me feel good.

After dinner, we came home and relaxed. A book I ordered showed up today! Yay! Master has four books coming in that we're still waiting on.

We exchanged back rubs while watching 12 Monkeys. It's a really weird, but really good movie.

It's 11pm already, which sucks because I want to get up around 7am so I can go into work and get it knocked out. Then we're probably going to a friend's house for a while which I'm mainly "Eh" about.

So I don't really have a lot to talk about today. Perhaps tomorrow.

June 4, 2009

Customer Service At It's Finest

Work wasn't as hectic as it has been the past few days. I'm still by myself. The other clerk won't be in until Monday, possibly Tuesday. My supervisor approved my trainer's request to have me work Saturday. But she changed her mind. She doesn't want me to work on invoices, she wants me to do a packet for her. Cool by me. I'll probably get some of the invoices done tomorrow anyway.

Master had a day in the shop, for the most part. That is until someone down near the Illinois border decided to spill a bunch of shit and they got the call to go clean it up. So Master had to go to that. And it kept Him until about 6pm. I got out of work at 4:30pm. B was working until about 9pm. So I decided to try and take the bus home.

I haven't been on a bus in a long time. I'd never been on a city bus before. But seriously, and this is going to sound dumb, I was/am afraid of buses. When I was in 7th grade I was on a school bus on a field trip and it got rear ended really hard while stopped at a railroad crossing. I was in a lot of pain from it and got knocked in the head pretty good, which is why I have migraines to this day.

But I called the customer service line for the city bus and found out what stop to be at. The stop for the bus I wanted had been moved for the time being due to construction. Well I sat there, and the time for the bus to show up came and went. So I called again, and they said another one should be there soon. So I continued to wait. No fucking bus. Now I went through this with these people, describing where I was, what intersection I was at, everything I could possibly think of and they assured me I was in the right place. Twice. Twice, no bus.

So finally I see another bus line across the street that I knew went down by my home. So I hopped on that. Master was already home by the time I walked in the door. He sent me out almost immediatley because we needed rabbit food and soda. So I took care of that and I was cranky.

I tried to calm myself down, but that whole bus thing pissed me off and I had twisted my ankle, and hurt my back at work today. So yeah, I wasn't in the best of moods.

But eventually I relaxed and Master and I enjoyed the rest of our evening.

We decided that from now on, if Master is running late, and B can't take me home, I'll just hop on that same bus I took today so we don't have to stress about how the fuck I'm getting back home.

Plus this means I can changed my work schedule so I can work a little extra time during the week, and then get out at noon every other Friday. Rocking! Then on the Friday I get out early, I'll just take the bus home and call it a day.

Honestly the bus ride was some what theraputic. The bus driver was very nice, because I explained that this was my first time using public transit and told me where I should get off, and showed me where the schedules were. I don't feel so bad about buses now. And now, I know I'll always have a way home. I'm going to buy some bus passes to keep in my purse, since I hardly ever carry cash. And when I run low, I'll just go buy more.

I could buy a monthly pass, but that's $60 and I don't think I'll be using the bus that often to justify $60 a month. But it may be easier, so I don't risk losses the passes. Gah, I don't know. Either way I know I always have a ride home now that I've gotten over the whole, "I don't wanna take the bus!" thing.

Yay me! (Yes, it sounds stupid, but it's a big thing to me.)

June 3, 2009

This Is Going To Be A Long Week

Yep. Long damn week.

Well the other clerk that does the other half of the work, is officially taking the whole week off, is most likely not coming in over the weekend, and isn't sure if she will be there on Monday.


So my trainer asked me today if I could continue to cut my lunches short, and I said yes. She also asked me if I could come in for a while this weekend. I told her I would talk to my Husband about it. (She knows we only have one car.) Why all the extra time? Well, we're back logged pretty bad because this same clerk didn't tell anyone how far behind in work she already was before taking this week off. Bah.

So Master picked me up from work and I talked to Him about it and He said I could go in for a while on Saturday. He said it'll be extra income, bonus, and also that it will make me look really good at work. You know, new girl stepping up to the plate type thing. My 90 days is up in three weeks. Yay! I haven't missed one day of work, and I have only been two minutes tardy coming back from lunch and that was because I was e-mailing the business manager rapid fire and lost track of time. I'm feeling really good about this.

So yes, I'm losing one day of my weekend, but it won't be the whole day. But the extra money and being able to help out and look good at work will even that out.

So you know how I was talking about sex? Guess who got laid last night? *grins* Yeah. Me.

And it was incredible. I love my VCH piercing. I should have gotten it years ago. It adds something to the sensations. As my clit swells a little, it pushes against the little ball of the piercing and it feels so damn good, especially when it moves. Yum.

Well, not a lot to say tonight to be honest. I was chanting for Friday, but now I'll be chanting for Saturday early afternoon.

June 2, 2009

Tick, Tick, Tick

The minutes seem to be ticking by so slowly this week. Ugh. It's driving me nuts. Master went in to work today at 8am. So He actually got to sleep past 5am. We got up around the same time and both got ready for work. Again, my coworker wasn't there today. She probably won't be in until Thursday or Friday. So needless to say we're backlogged. From what I hear, she's not sick like she had told me.. she's just calling in because she wants some time off of work but doesn't want to use any vacation days because she's going somewhere later in the year. *shrugs* In this economy I wouldn't be pulling that stuff, but to each their own.

Anyway, Master left His job a bit early today to go to a job interview. He isn't sure how it went, because the person was hard to read. But hey, it's a bite. That's something.

So needless to say He was able to pick me up from work on time today, which was wonderful. We talked the entire ride home and joked around. Once we got home Master relaxed and I took care of the dog, and then we had dinner. We watched Hancock, which is a really good movie. We had seen it before but really enjoy watching it.

Master, in His post today, mentioned how there has been a steady decline in the amount (not quality.. just the amount..) of sex/kink there has been.

He also stated how in the past I would basically act out because of it. And I fully admit that. I have a very high sex drive, so when things happen, or Master is really tired and sore, and we don't have sex as often I get cranky, anxious, and sometimes have a feeling of rejection. Stupid isn't it? The rejection part I mean.

Cranky and anxious make sense, because ya know.. I love fucking Him and as I already said I have a high sex drive. So yeah. But the rejection doesn't make any sense to me at all. I know why we aren't having sex or playing as often. Duh. The man is knocking Himself out day in and day out at His job. Of course He's sore and tired. It's not because He doesn't find me attractive, or doesn't want to have sex. So I'm telling myself to knock it the hell off. Apparently, I'm listening to myself too! I haven't felt any sort of rejection pertaining to that for about a month now. I do still feel disappointment, but I try to get over it quickly and then smile and cuddle with my Husband, which I greatly enjoy.

I don't know what mental switch I managed to stumble upon, but somehow I'm keeping a good grip on such things. I'm sure He's since the disappointment on my face, just as I've seen it on His when I ask and He says "Not tonight".

But hey, that's life. It'll pick back up again. *smiles*

Now let's just hope Friday afternoon gets here quickly. Maybe over the weekend Master will feel better and we can molest each other over and over again. What? A girl can hope, damnit.

June 1, 2009

I'd Like To Lock In That Answer

Can you tell I watch way to many game shows? Yeah. Me too.

First, we're going to get past the daily stuff, then I'll move on to why I titled the post like that.

Master had to get to work by 6:30am. So He woke me up before heading out the door to say goodbye. I got up a little while later, got ready, and prepared myself. You see last night the coworker that does the same job I do, who I sit right next to, called me to let me know she wasn't going to be in to work until about Thursday, or perhaps Friday. So I knew that I was going to be swamped.

And I was right. I clocked in early, and cut my lunch short by 35 minutes (I normally get an hour lunch) and I just barely managed to keep up with all of the work. My trainer came by and was impressed with how well I was doing.

So yeah, it was a busy day at work. Master also had a very busy day at His job, and got out about 20 minutes before I was supposed to get out of work (about a 10 hour day). But at least He was still able to pick me up. Once we got home Master took His shower and I ran out to hit the ATM and pick up a few things we needed. The rest of the night we've been relaxing, enjoying one another's company, and watched a movie.

We very, very briefly talked again about the Navy Reserves thing. Master just said that He keeps telling me to do it because He wants to get it done with, so He can have me back fully all the sooner. It in no way means He supports it or that I have His blessing on the matter.

That hit me pretty hard. I mean the conversations we had over the weekend (which are lengthy and there is no way in hell I can type all of it out) had been rattling around in my brain when I had time to breathe today at work already. So yeah, it hit hard becaue the subject matter was so raw, ya know?

And I didn't say anything. We didn't argue. We merely changed subjects and continued joking around. We both wanted to stay in good moods.

So, I have decided not to go through with any of it. I won't be contacting a recruiter, I won't be researching anymore information regarding this matter. Oh, I'm sure Master is sitting there right now reading this and going, "Yeah right."

He said that He wants me to just get it over with because it'll just be stuck in my head until I am to old to be a recruit unless I either try and fail or try and exceed.

Well, first I'll explain why I'm going with "I'm not doing it".

He is my Husband and my Master. As I said in the previous post I do not want to lose my submission to Him. But more importantly, I don't want to cause rifts in our marraige. Above all, our marriage is the most important thing in this world to me. I love this man of mine so deeply that sometimes it makes my heart stop. I do not want Him to be constantly worrying. The dream of being in the Navy was completely selfish. And I'm not that kind of person. (No laughing.) Okay, I'll rephrase that. I'm not that kind of person when it comes to my marriage.

Why would I want to cause Him all that extra stress? The worry? I don't want to spend nine weeks away from Him. I don't want to spend an extra weekend per month and two weeks per year (possibly over seas) away from Him. We can barely handle it when His job takes Him away for three days. What the hell was I thinking.. nine damn weeks. I'd be a wreck. Literally.

We hardly see each other now during the week, if I had a 2nd job to that.. let alone the military, we'll hardly see each other. At least with a normal 2nd job I could just quit. With the Navy, it would be an eight year contract where only they can decide if they want to release me. The only one who should have any say in such is my Husband. He is the one I have dedicated my life to.

Master, I am sorry if I made You feel like I had lost sight of that. I truly hadn't. I was simply trying to find a way to help out more. I deeply apologize.

And just to show You how serious I am about this.. I think I've found a way to show You.

I, as Your wife, Your slave, and Your student here by swear, in writing with plenty of witnesses, on Mother Wolf and Grandmother Frog that I will never again bring up my joining any of the armed forces or the armed forces reserves in any way, shape, or form.

I love You baby. And I truly am sorry for all the stress, and worry.