Our Path

Some of you may be wondering how our relationship blossomed into the kink territory. This is your chance to find out.

 Since the beginning of our relationship we were both upfront, bold, and honest about our fantasies and sexual interests. This lifestyle was not, at that time, anything either of us brought up. Why? We really weren't fantasizing about such things at that time. There was a little talk of bondage, rough sex and what some may consider fetishes. But nothing regarding a 24/7 lifestyle.

The most interesting part was that we had extremely similar kinks and fantasies. The other interesting part is that they were all unfulfilled fantasies. Neither of us, in past relationships, had a chance to live out any of them. So they were all firsts for both of us besides very, very light bondage.

As we went through the beginning of our relationship we slowly but surely started moving certain things from fantasy to reality. Sometimes one or both of us were hesitant and sometimes we jumped in right away.We were still figuring out each others comfort zones.

We tried things that neither of us cared for in the end; but at least we tried them rather than leaving it in the "unknown" category. Then we tried things that we both ended up enjoying a lot more than either of us thought we would.

So, on to the lifestyle.

At first we dabbled in M/s. I would call Him Master and He had control only in so far as sex went. If it was sexual, He had full control. He would order me to perform sexually for Him or He would physically force me into certain positions. He would lightly choke me, etc. So basically we were, at that point, into more of the heavy bondage and orders that only pertained to sex. Everything else was left up to me, as if we were in a "normal" relationship. When He wasn't visiting everything was as if we were strictly boyfriend and girlfriend.

It didn't take long for the control to bleed over into every day life. It wasn't to the degree it is now, but it was a baby step in that direction. In fact at about six months into the relationship that He wrote up a "contract". Basically it was a list of rules, of what my station was, etc. We both signed it. In fact, I still have it. There were other contracts that followed. They were altered, updated, things were added and things were removed. I honestly don't know how many we went through but eventually we dropped the whole contract thing. We decided that we didn't need a list of things that were and weren't agreed to. This is where we made the step from D/s to M/s.

We weren't living together at this point. So all those contracts, struggling with what we both wanted out of this before letting it go and He had full control happened in the space of a year and a half. Sounds like a long period of time, I'm sure, but for us it was in a blink of the eye.

Since we weren't living together I still had a level of freedom. He wasn't there to direct me with every little thing. I didn't have to serve Him at all times. It was there, when we talked on the phone or chatted over the internet, but when He came over and/or spent the night it was in full swing.

Shortly after the two year mark Master and I started living together. It took quite some time to get used to it. After all, now I had to submit to Him at all times. He had to get used to having complete control at all times. I know that may sound silly, but it was a huge adjustment for both of us.

The collars, during this whole time, also upgraded. I started with a black leather collar with four o-rings on it. The final collar is the Eternity Collar I now wear. I also have an Eternity Cuff that matches it. These are my final symbols of my submission to Him. At the four year mark we were married; we both think of my wedding ring as the ultimate sign of Ownership. I have His last name, I am His. He is mine as well, obviously. He is my Master. We also think of our marriage as more of an "old world" marriage in so far as the wife is submissive to the Husband.

There have been ups and downs. I fought my submission to Him at times. I stated that I didn't want it anymore, that it was too much. I couldn't handle it. I blame those swings on my being an individual with bipolar disorder. During those times I was not medicated. I did not even know I was bipolar until September of 2010.

Why do I blame it on not being medicated? Since I have been on medication leaving this lifestyle hasn't even been a passing thought. And I don't think it ever will be again. I need this structure, quite literally. Without it I feel lost, aimless, depressed. I felt all of those things. It felt emotionally painful when I realize that was severed. It didn't take long for me to be crying and begging for Him to allow me to submit to Him once again. He always took me back under His guidance (We never broke up, it was only the dynamic was severed for short bursts of time.)

And now here we are. We follow this lifestyle in a way that feels right to us. We don't conform to any general idea of what should or should not be done. This is our path and we follow it the only way we know how, together. (Hence the blog name of Paw Prints In Slavery... ya know, me.. walking this path.)