December 30, 2010


So last night shortly after I got home Master and I headed out to go to the tattoo parlor where I had my piercings done. I was so excited when He said we could go that night that while I was still at work I had looked up directions (the place moved since the last time) and printed them off.

So I'm all bubbly as we start driving. We didn't make it far though. I took a look at Him and I could see the numbers crunching in His head about how much tighter finances would be because of it.

So while I was excited, and this would be His belated Christmas present to me, I knew that it wasn't the smartest idea to go spend money we didn't have. So I spoke up. I said, "Master if You think finances are going to be too tight, we can wait on this."

He looked at me and said, "Are you sure?"

I said, "Yes Sir, I'm sure."

He went on to say how He wanted to get them for me, but that finances are tight and what not. And I understand. I really do, especially since we are paying rent this week. So yeah. I can't say I wasn't disappointed, because I was. But it's just body jewelry. It can wait. I would rather make sure we have enough money to get through the week than get something I want just because I want it. Needs come first, not wants. Plus He already bought me that lingerie. So it's not like He didn't get me anything at all, and it's not like I'm a materialistic person, because I'm really not.

But it's not often that I get really excited about something for me. Don't get me wrong, Master wants me to have new body jewelry for my nipples as well. But like I said it's not often when I get excited about something for me. I normally get more excited about something for Him, rather than myself. So yes, I was a bit disappointed, but it was not rational to go ahead and do it and possibly not have enough money for the week.

But maybe next weekend we can get them. That would be nice. If not next weekend, some other time. I'll get them sooner or later, I'm sure of that. And it figures that I'm so excited over something to do with body modification. It's a passion of mine. Something I've been obsessed with since I was 18. So damn near 10 years now.

Okay, I was obsessed with it before that. But I couldn't get tattoos before 18 and the only thing I had pierced before the age of 18 was my belly button and that's only because I had bugged the hell out of my mom and dad to allow me to get something done. And that's the only thing they would agree to. (I had been begging for my eyebrow to be pierced. But I figured something was better than nothing.)

So, a small delay. No big deal. Like I said, I'll get them eventually.

December 29, 2010


I don't put a lot of stock in dreams, unless they don't feel like dreams. Some people will know what I'm talking about when I say that, and some won't.

I don't dream very often. Or at least, if I do I don't remember much about them. The past two nights I've had dreams, and I remember bits and pieces of each. I know that's normal for a lot of people, but for me it's really rare. And these are just dreams, they don't feel like anything else. There was no profound meaning to them. Just dreams.

Two nights ago I had a dream where I was running in a forest, and it was extremely dark out. Darker than night. No moonlight, no stars. Just darkness. I remember thinking I was going to run into something, but I never did. Apparently I'm less of a klutz in my dreams. But it seemed so freeing at the time. Just me and the forest.

But it wasn't just me and the forest. After a while I came to a clearing and Master was there. He was sitting on a rock and asked me what had taken me so long. He smirked and then took off running, out of the clearing and back into the trees. I laughed and chased after Him. Apparently we had been racing this entire time. At least that's what I'm getting from it.

That's all I remember from that one.

Then last night I had one of those dreams that seem like an acid trip gone wrong once you're awake and lucid. But in the dream, while you're having it, it all seems perfectly normal. Never mind people are odd colors, never mind that the sky is purple and all anyone is speaking is gibberish and yet you can understand them all perfectly.

It's fucked up. And when I woke up this morning I was confused for some reason. Like hey, why is everything back to normal? Oh yeah. Cause I'm awake. Duh.

Then again the alarm clock kind of startled me awake. There was no gentle rolling over and turning off the alarm clock. Oh no. I bolted awake, looked around me, and then realized that it was the damn alarm clock.

I hate mornings like that.

December 28, 2010

New Jewelry Soon!

So as I said in my last post Master said I could price out the new body jewelry I wanted. So today on my lunch break I called the tattoo parlor I got my piercings done at. Unfortunately they didn't answer on the first call. Or the second. Or the third. But lucky number four did the trick! Finally they picked up.

I asked if they sold circular/horseshoe barbells. They do! Yay! And then I asked if they come in different colors. He said that they do, but that if I wanted anything besides silver they would have to order it in for me. I said no, that was okay. I like the silver ones anyway. They match my collar, my cuff, and my wedding ring. (Although my wedding ring is titanium.. but still.. it's shiny.) And on top of that it means that I don't have to buy new jewelry for my VCH piercing. Yay for saving money!

So I asked for the prices, and made sure that the price was for the implant grade jewelry. And it was. Honestly it's not that expensive. So I made sure to tell Master as soon as I found out. He said that we can probably do it this weekend. I kinda sorta, not so subtly hinted that we could technically do it tomorrow, since they don't close until 8pm. He said He would think about it. So that's where I'm leaving it. I know better than to push my luck. If I attempted to do so He probably would tell me I had to wait longer because I kept bugging Him about it.

I am very excited about it though. I had asked Master if He was getting bored with the straight barbells I have in my nipples right now. He said that no, He wasn't getting bored with them, but that it'll be nice for me to be able to change them out every now and then. Then He mentioned that the horseshoe ones will be more fun to flick around with His tongue. He said that via text message, and as soon as I read that I swear my pussy clenched at the thought. Which is another reason I'm very excited about it.

I have also been thinking about piercings in general. Although I have no idea, if Master allowed it, what else I would get done. Master has said no to the septum piercing. I can't have any other facial piercings due to my job (I technically couldn't have the septum one either.. but those can be easier to hide.)

I don't know if I'd want my inner or outer labia pierced. I personally think the inner labia looks better. But those are also easier to "catch" on, which would be extremely painful. Plus I don't know if Master would like it.

He is more into tattoos than piercings. Although He really likes the three I have. I'm probably safest just sticking with those and building up a body jewelry collection so I can keep different kinds around and switch them out to make things a bit more interesting.

December 27, 2010

Docile Kitten

Last night Master and I watched more of that porno we had bought a couple of nights ago. (By the way, why do they put so much on one porn DVD? Seriously. No one gets through the whole thing in one sitting.)

He played with my tits for a while, and was actually pretty rough with them. More so that He has been lately. That of course got me going, and so I flipped over and put His dick in my mouth. I mean really, what other reaction would be expected in that situation? *laughs*

He ended up fucking my mouth, more than me sucking His dick. But hey, either way works. He was talking dirty almost the entire time. I was honestly pretty damn sure He was going to cum a few times, but just when I thought it was going to happen His will power kicked into over drive and He stopped it from happening.

So eventually after quite a while of this Master pulled my head off His cock and ordered me to the bedroom.

We played with one another a while longer and He had me be on top. Regardless whether He's on top, or I am, He's always in control. All He has to do is force me to be still, or grab my hips and pull me by them the way He wants.. etc.

It's great.

After He filled me, we got cleaned up and went back into the living room. I was already up past my bedtime and so Master allowed me to have half a cigarette and then I had to go to sleep. But He was nice and allowed me to sleep on the couch until He went to bed.

Today I have been feeling extremely docile. Still playful and happy, but docile.

We've had a relaxing evening at home. And after a very long day at work, it is really nice to be able to sit at home with my Master and just relax.

Master has been asking me what I want for Christmas for a while. And at first I told Him I just wanted leather gloves. But He basically said that was a cop out. And it was, cause I couldn't think of anything I wanted. But then I was in the bathroom, getting ready to hop into the bath and of course I saw my nipple piercings in the mirror. And then it hit me. I want new body jewelry!

The only problem is I don't want to get something too different as far as coloration goes because I want it to match my VCH piercing as well. Yes, I know. I'm weird. I want my body jewelry to match. So sue me.

I told Master about this and He seemed happy with my choice. He said I could price them out and get what I wanted. He also said that if the prices weren't too bad I could get a new curved barbell for my VCH as well, so that they'll all match color wise. Although I have decided I want circular barbells for my nipples. I don't want the straight barbells again. They look nice and everything, but I want something a little different. And I don't want the straight out hoops. So circular barbells it is!

I'm going to call the place I got the piercings done at originally and see what kind of prices they offer, and see if they have any that circular barbells that will match a curved barbell. That way I get as much information as possible before we make the drive out there. I'd hate to get out there and not be able to find something I want. That would suck. The reason why I want to go back there is because the shop is clean, and the people who work there are awesome. I don't just want to go to like Hot Topic or anything. You never know how good the quality is of the body jewelry. I mean yes, it says it on there.. but nine times out of ten the person selling it to you doesn't have a fucking clue.

And due to my nickel allergy, I don't wanna fuck around. I would hate to get an infection or something or have my body start to reject the piercings after all this time.

December 26, 2010


Last night Master wanted me to get dressed up for Him. I wanted to wear my newest outfit that He bought for me when we went to the porn store on Christmas. But I couldn't wear it because I'm on the rag, and didn't want to ruin a brand new outfit. So yeah. I get to wait until that's done before I get to wear it. *sad face*

So I put on a mesh body suit instead. We sat on the couch together and watched the new porno we bought. I was teasing Him through out the portions that we watched, stroking Him, sucking His cock for a while, and then going back to stroking Him. It was a lot of fun and He seemed to greatly enjoy it.

So while watching a porno we normally do one of two things besides molest each other before we go fuck. One is that we make fun of the porno. That's just a given. The second one is that we talk about things we might want to try in the bedroom.

So while we were talking about certain things, the topic of us looking for playmates came up. And we might be having a meeting with one this upcoming Saturday. We had already purchased condoms just to be on the safe side, as we had previously met this person and it seems like that's where things might be leading to. It's been almost 8 years since Master and I used one together. To be perfectly honest, we only used one together once. That was the first night we fucked. After that, we just went skin to skin. I was on birth control, as I hadn't gotten fixed yet, and we knew we were both clean. So there ya go.

And we had never used this brand of condoms before. And we were both kind of curious as to how it felt. It is supposed to be the "thinnest condom that is still safe" available and is supposed to feel just as good as skin on skin contact. Well we already knew that was a lie, because that's impossible. But we decided to test the condom out anyway.

So we go in the bedroom, and bring a condom back. He put it on after we fooled around a bit and we fucked. I immediately noticed how... disconnected it felt. Master and I have this weird thing going on during sex where we connect on several different levels and kind of loop the energy between us over and over again. It's extremely intense.

And you would think we could do that regardless. But with just that "thin" condom on, everything felt off. I still got off while He was wearing it, but it wasn't the normal mind blowing orgasms, because that connection between us was missing.

And I noticed He wasn't making a lot of noise either. Obviously the sensations aren't as pleasurable with a condom on, so I understood.. but that just made the disconnection that much more obvious, when I was already feeling it.

So about half way through the fuck session, I asked Master if He wanted to take the condom off, and He said yes. So He took it off, put it on the head board and we continued. Everything felt better, but the disconnection was still there. He got off, and I got off, but afterward it was just a bit... awkward.

We talked about it after, and He felt the same way I did. The disconnection was the worst part of the experience. Especially when you are use to things being a certain way for so many years. I mean we keep our sex life interesting, but when you've been with someone for so long, you get use to a few things, and you love it. At least if your sex life is healthy and so is your marriage/relationship.

We're never doing that again. Well, obviously aside from if/when we have playmates.

I've read about couples who do role-playing and use condoms to "spice things up". Like for example my fantasy role-play where I walk into a bar, order a drink and then Master walks in and starts chatting me up and then convinces me to come back to His place (or a hotel if we can afford it) and we fuck. I know of some couples who if they played that out, they would use condoms to be more "fully in the role" so to speak. Yeah. We're never doing that.

The experiment failed horribly. But hey, sometimes when you try things out things don't go the way you hoped they would. This is one of those times. No big deal. It doesn't mean we won't continue to push the boundaries of our sex life and try and continue to find new things that excite both of us. Because I know we'll always do that. But I'm glad we already have this experiment out of the way, and now know that it didn't do anything for either of us. In fact, it took quite a bit away.

So back to the drawing board!

December 25, 2010

Christmas Day

So today we had to get up earlier than yesterday, as we had to go to my mother's house and then my dad's. So we got up, got ready, made sure we had all the presents, and then headed out.

We went to my mom's first. My brother was there as well. And of course my mother's husband couldn't stop asking questions about this, that and the other thing. Whenever we see him it's like playing "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" without prize money at the end.

My mother seemed extremely cranky. I know she's stressed out right now, but it was like she was just in a seriously bad mood and didn't want anyone else having a good time either. Which is normally not like my mother at all. So who knows. We spent about 2 1/2 hours there and then went to my dad's. My brother followed us out there.

We were worried about having to spend time with my dad's girlfriend because no one likes her. And today was a good example as to why that is. We got there and had just taken off our coats and sat down after the hellos and what not. I gave my dad his gift, and his girlfriend her gift. Dad loved it. It was a Christmas tin with butterscotch candies inside, which are his favorite. So anyway, we haven't even been there for 20 minutes yet and my dad's girlfriend is on the phone with one of her daughters. While she was on the phone with her kid she decided she wanted to leave, go pick her daughter up, and go to her sister's house. Fine. Leave. Please!

But this is the part where it makes it pretty clear why we all hate her. Like I said, we hadn't even been there for a full half hour yet and she had made these plans out of the blue. Now please keep in mind that on Wednesday night I told my dad that we would be there between 3:30 and 4:30pm. We showed up at 4pm. So we were within that window. So this bitch of a girlfriend looks at my dad and says, "Are you coming with?" And my dad looks at her, and the three of us (my Husband, my brother, and myself) are looking at her like she has lost her mother fucking mind. We just got there, and it's a 45 minute drive from our place and she wants to drag my dad off? Fuck you bitch.

So my dad said, "No. The kids just got here. I'm not leaving." She moped and pouted, and took her sweet time getting ready. And right before she left she looked at my dad and said, "Are you sure?" And by this point my dad is angry with her, I could tell. And he says, "Yeah, I'm sure. I want to spend time with my kids." So she left.

We had the rest of the two hours we spent with my father in peace and we were all joking around and had a great time.

Master had told me right before we left that He wanted me to drive because His knee was acting up. No biggie there. So we get in the car and the snow is coming down hard. I couldn't see very well, and I have just recently realized that I should to wear my glasses when driving at night. And of course I left my glasses at home. But I kept going. I could see fine, but the visibility sucked due to the snow that was coming down. So I was doing maybe 30mph in a 55mph zone. And eventually, as we kept heading north, the snow got worse, and worse, and worse. Master had told me when we first started out that if I couldn't handle it, just to tell Him and He would drive.

So I'm trying to do my best cause I know His knee is bothering Him, but I also don't want to put either of us in danger. I'm a good driver, but I also know when I can't handle something. And I'm not too proud to admit that. So eventually I told Master, "Maybe You should drive." He nodded, and walked me through pulling over safely because I couldn't really tell where the median edge was. He got out of the car, I scooted over, He got in the driver's seat and we proceeded.

It got better the closer we got to home. But I'm so glad I asked Master to drive. I trust Him with my life, and I immediately relaxed once He took over.

So we got home just long enough to bring stuff inside, feed the dog, and headed back out. We didn't have many groceries at home and felt more like going out to eat anyway. So we used some of our Christmas present money that we got to go out to dinner. After dinner we decided to go to the porn store. Yay! Porn Store Christmas!

So we go in and have a look around. When we left I had a new outfit, a new pair of thigh high stockings, and we had a new porno.

Now we're home, finally, and are relaxing. Thankfully the holidays are over.

December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve

Today is Christmas Eve, obviously. So today is the day with Master's family. We didn't go to bed until almost 4 in the morning. So we made sure to set an alarm for noon to make sure we'd be up in time to go down to His mother's.

I decided to wear one of the shirts His mom got me, because I figured that would make her happy. I actually really like the top, which I am honestly surprised about. Not because of the cut of it or anything, but because it's white. And I normally do not like wearing white. But I love this shirt. It's a bit tailored, which I like. I didn't wear heels like I wanted to though because we were going down there early to help my mother-in-law's husband cover the boat. So I had to wear sensible shoes. Heels are not sensible.

So we get down there and we say hi to everyone, and then head out to the boat. I helped with the plastic sheeting and to put the canvas cover on it. I wasn't doing as much as the men were, but I like to think I helped.

We then went back to their place and had dinner. The dinner was great. Master and I were both a little worried that His mom would over glaze the ham, but she didn't. After that we sat around and talked for a little while, before having pie and then opening presents. We had gotten His mom and her husband a holiday canister filled with candy. His mom's has butterscotch candies in it and her husband's has mint chocolates in it. They both seemed very happy about it.

We got gift cards, which was awesome. I honestly wasn't expecting anything because they had already gotten me clothes.

After the gifts were done we all did pictures. There are some really nice ones of me and Master together, sitting on the floor, in front of a mock fireplace. They turned out great. Master of course had to take like three pictures of me just sitting in the recliner.. *giggles*

Master and I don't have a lot of pictures of us together. Mainly because Master is always behind the camera. So about the only time we get ones of us together is on holidays where other people will grab Master's camera and tell us to pose together.

I've tried to convince Master that we should go get professional pictures of us done. Just us as a married couple, none of us separate. I haven't been able to convince Him yet. But I'm hoping to for our upcoming anniversary, as it will mark 8 years together, 4 of which we've been married. And the number 4 holds deep meaning to the both of us. *crosses fingers*

Plus then we can use those as Christmas gifts later in the year, like we did for Christmas the year we were married. Everyone got a picture of us on our wedding day in a nice frame. And both of our families loved it. I just really enjoy pictures of us together, because I want to be able to look at them as the years go by and see us together throughout the years.

Shortly after we were done and we had finished taking pictures and talking a while longer, Master and I headed home. We have been paying attention to Radar, our pup, and just enjoying the down time. Master wants me to dress up for Him later. And He actually plans on using some of the gift card He got tonight to buy me lingerie. Which is kind of funny given who the gift card is from.. But ya know, it works.

December 23, 2010

She's Getting High On Revlon

Okay, I'm sure that title doesn't make any sense what so ever unless you know the song "Gasoline" by Seether. I remember when that song first came out, and I loved it. Well today I heard it on the radio, and it inspired a blog post. Odd isn't it?

I wasn't allowed to wear make-up when I was a teenager. My dad had forbidden it. And so that caused two things. One, I never really learned a lot about how to apply make-up. And two, it made me never really want to wear it.

It's not that I wanted to wear a lot of make-up when I was a teenager. Honestly I've never been the type to cake it on, and I'm still not.

The one thing I did do as a teenager was wear really fucked up make-up. Yes, I know I already said that I wasn't allowed to. But I would buy it while out with friends, and then put it on at school, come home and wash it off before my father got home. My mother didn't give a shit, she just thought I was weird. Weird how you ask? Well my favorite thing to do back then was wear silver lipstick and silver eyeliner. Yes, silver. Bright as hell, shiny, silver. And it was awesome. Or sometimes I would take my friends black eyeliner pencils and draw designs around the corner of my eyes. I came up with some weird shit, let me tell you.

So anyway, yes sometimes I wear make-up now. But I have never gone away from three simple basics: 1) Eyeshadow/eye liner. 2) Lipstick. 3) Mascara.

That's it. I never, ever, wear foundation. I think it looks bad on most people, no matter how "little" they are actually using. And I don't see the point of it. If you don't want to see my face without make-up on, then don't fucking look at me.

Master finds me beautiful without make-up. Yes, make-up can enhance your beauty, but that's all you should really use it for. It shouldn't be what makes you beautiful, or what you think makes you beautiful.

I understand vanity. But seriously, you shouldn't have to do your hair, make sure your nail polish is flawless, and put on a bunch of make-up to go to the grocery store. What. The. Fuck.

If I'm just running down to the grocery store, I put on clothes and shoes. That's all the preparation I need.

If Master didn't find me beautiful without make-up I would be devastated, and pretty pissed off all at the same time. I've heard men tell their women to "go put their face on". Um, if her face is removable, you have some serious problems my friend. And it's not her cooking skills, or lack there of.

What's even funnier to me, is that those kind of guys are usually ugly as sin. It's rather interesting.

I understand wanted to enhance your looks, or modify it. Hell I have piercings and tattoos. I've dyed my hair in the past. Yes, I put nail polish on. And I've even had fake nails a time or two.

But I don't have to have any of that to be beautiful. I am beautiful. Why do so many women think they have to have all this crap. I once saw a quote that I couldn't agree with more.

"Fake tan. Fake nails. Fake hair color. A lot of make-up. Bitch, are you sure you weren't made in China?"

When I first saw that I was like, "Exactly!" And yes, I kind of felt a bit like a hypocrite because as I said, I've dyed my hair, and I've had fake nails. But I've never had a fake tan, I wear a minimal amount of make-up when I do wear it, and both times I got my nails done they lasted about three weeks and then I wanted them off. And then I said fuck it, and have just been painting them when I feel like it or Master wants me to. Oh, and now I'm not allowed to dye my hair because of a really bad fuck up where I was trying to have more of a reddish tint to my hair and my hair ended up purple. Yeah. That sucked.

So I guess the point I have to all this, is I don't understand those type of women. Make-up to me should be an enhancement of your looks, not your look entirely.


December 22, 2010

Old Thoughts Churned Up Again

I once went to college for website design. I greatly enjoyed most of my classes. Math was never a strong point of mine, so those classes really sucked. But aside from that I loved it. Funny how that is, given the fact that I hated school when I was a kid. But in college it's different. You get to pick your schedule, you're doing it not because you have to but because you have the drive to do it. It was just a great experience. And while I did not graduate (I needed a full time paying job more than I needed a degree at the time) I learned a lot of valuable skills.

Skills that have helped me get the job I have now. I wouldn't know half of what I know about computers if I hadn't had some of the classes I had when I was going to college.

And while no part of me wants a degree any more, I sometimes think about what it would be like to design websites as a side business. The down side to that? I'm only good with HTML and CSS. Anything beyond that and I'm fumbling and frustrated.

So it's not like I could put together a very complex website, because I can't. But for someone who just wants a simple website (a small business, a charity organization, etc) I could totally handle that.

Well tonight HG stopped by for a little bit to drop something off, and she was saying how she is leaving one of her current jobs (she has two) and is going back to school part time to get a certificate. And she said she was going to use said certificate to open her own business in a year or two. I congratulated her, as did Master, and then I said, "If you ever need a website let me know."

She seemed shocked. I just smiled because immediately Master started praising me and talking me up about my skills with HTML and CSS. She said she would keep that in mind and seemed very pleased that now she knew someone who could handle that.

I would of course still charge her something for it, because it doesn't make good business sense to do otherwise. I wouldn't charge her much, honestly, because she's going to be marrying Master's best friend. But still, something.

And so that whole conversation churned up old hopes and dreams. Like I said, I don't want to go back to school to get a degree. But one thing I wouldn't mind doing is getting a certification for Microsoft Office. That would be awesome. And it would look really good on my resume. Not that I'm looking to change jobs, I love my job.

But it may help me in getting a better pay rate at some point, or a promotion later on down the road. Who knows.

So I'll have to start looking into that.

December 21, 2010

Another Day Down, Two to Go

Yesterday I felt fine all day. And then suddenly just before 10pm I was exhausted. As in, I couldn't keep my eyes open exhausted.

I passed out on the couch and Master let me nap for about an hour. Then He woke me up as it was my turn to take the dog out, and then when I came back inside, we talked for a little bit and then He allowed me to fall asleep on the couch again. It was past my bedtime and I didn't want to go to the bedroom alone, so He let me be closer to Him by sleeping on the couch while He was still in the living room.

He woke me up at about 3am because He was going to bed, so I followed Him and we curled up. Three hours after that my alarm went off.

I had gotten up early this morning because the weather was supposed to be pretty nasty and the driver of my carpool said she was going to leave her place 20 minutes earlier than usual. So I made sure I was ready to go.

But no. She only left her house 5 minutes early. So I got up early for no reason at all. That is annoying.

Work was slow again. So I was stretching my work as much as possible, while trying to still leave some for tomorrow so I won't be beating my head against my desk just to pass the time.

Tomorrow Master is going to be picking me up from work. The driver of the carpool is leaving at noon. So I had asked the other person in our carpool if I could get a ride with him and his wife, since they only live five minutes away from my place. He said no because they are going to the mall, and taking me home would be out of their way.

I was hoping to save the gas money, but oh well. At least I get more time with my Master, and I know that no matter the weather I'll get home safely because Master knows how to drive, and drive well. Thankfully.

His mother called Him today to let us know that we are moving the time on Christmas Eve from 5pm to 4pm. No biggie there.

And Master told His mom that I am in therapy, that I have been diagnosed as bi-polar and that I'm on medication. I was nervous about this because I honestly wasn't sure how she'd react. But she didn't say anything mean or act weird or anything. Master just said that she said she was proud of me for getting the help I needed. That was it. So that takes a lot off my shoulders.

My mom knows too. I told her on the phone one day. I wanted to tell her in person, but didn't want to do it on Christmas. So I told her. She had pretty much the same reaction. She was proud of me, and glad I was taking care of myself.

That leaves my brother and my dad. I'll probably just tell them on Christmas. Now that people besides Master know, I'm not feeling as sensitive about it.

I haven't really thought about telling our friends. To me it doesn't really matter to me if they know or not. As long as they are actually friends. It's not like I'm just going to walk up to everyone I meet going, "Hi! I'm bi-polar and I take happy pills!"

Yeah. No. But people like BC, HG, and SS. No biggie there. I'm not sure if I'd tell ST or not. Mainly because he brings enough drama, I don't need any more of it.

So yeah, that's pretty much it. My "secret" is slowly but surely coming out, and I only have two more days of work to get through. Yay!

December 20, 2010

Year By Year

Every year, as I get older, the holiday season seem to bring more stress than joy. Trying to figure out when we're going to who's house, trying to decide how much we have in the budget to get who what gift. Trying to figure out how much Tylenol we're going to need on Sunday when it's all said and done.

This year was not as bad as last year. Last year I remember counting change in order to buy presents. It was not fun.

This year is a bit better. Last year I couldn't afford to get Master very much, and I felt horrible about it. No, we're not Christians, and we're not Catholic. But I still enjoy buying my Husband something for the holidays. I don't know, it just feels weird to be buying other people stuff and not get Him anything. After all He's my Husband. I love Him very much, and so I like to make Him happy. He's not a materialistic person, but it's not like He hates getting presents or anything.

This year, He was the first person I bought a present for. Some of you may have read the post where I detailed how I pulled that one off. And while it wasn't much of a surprise since He knew that was what I was getting Him, He was still very excited to get it. And thankfully it's one of the very few games that came out this year that He actually enjoys. Bonus there.

I guess I wanted to make sure I bought something for Him first since 1) I knew exactly what He wanted, and 2) I wouldn't have to worry about possibly not having the money later.

And no, it wasn't given on Christmas, obviously. But I told Him it was His Christmas present, and He was very happy about it.

There were a few people this year that I didn't want to buy presents for, but did anyway so I wouldn't hear anyone bitching. One was my father's girlfriend. I hate her. And so does Master. But I knew that if we didn't get her anything my father was going to be livid. So hello dollar store! (Shush. It works, and they won't even be able to tell it's from the dollar store anyway.) And then there is my youngest nephew. Yes, that makes me sound like a terrible aunt doesn't it?

My eldest nephew is a pretty good kid, but he doesn't really know me since he is normally with his mother rather than my brother, or he is napping when I'm there, or he is just about the head out the door. Like I said he's a good kid, and honestly I didn't mind getting him something.

It's that other nephew of mine. The demon spawn. The one that I keep telling my brother needs to start being disciplined or he'll end up in military school or in juvenile detention. (You know, the jail they keep younger kids at when they aren't tried as adults in a court of law.)

He is a little shit who pretty much gets to do what he wants because he's the baby. Well actually he's 2, but you get the point. And because of this little monster my eldest nephew gets put on the back burner a lot. I remember what that feels like. When I was growing up, because my brother had so many health problems and/or attitude problems, I was often put on the back burner or expected to watch out for him when his fat mouth got him in trouble.

I feel bad for my eldest nephew. So like I said I didn't mind getting him a gift. But the youngest? Oh man, I did not want to buy him a damn thing. Because neither his mother, or my brother, discipline the child sometimes I do it when I'm there. I don't beat his ass or anything. But I put him in time outs, or I hold him still when he's having a tantrum and wants to do whatever the hell he wants to do. And my brother glares at me. Oh how he glares. And I tell him I wouldn't have to do it if he would.

Master has taken to telling me that I should just leave it be when I see him. And I'm getting better at that. I just glare at my brother, or I sigh heavily, or I straight out tell my brother to handle his son before I do. That normally works.

So yeah. Like I said, there were a few people. The hardest one was that cunt of a girlfriend that happens to be sucking the life force out of my father currently. I just want to shake my father until his bald spot gets bigger while screaming at him that he's a fucking moron and he should know better at his age.

But we've all made bad choices. I thankfully got mine out of the way in my teenage/early adult years. My father apparently decided to wait until he was almost 50.

So yeah. The holidays are upon us. Oh the joy and rapture. I'm looking forward to seeing some of the people we'll be visiting, but that's about it.

December 19, 2010

Screaming O Super Powered Bullet Review

I had been recently contacted by Their Toys, asking me if I would like to review one of the products that they sell on their website. Before I responded I took a look at their site, and one of the first things I noticed and made me smile was their slogan "Helping you live your sex life out loud!" And honestly, I'm a very sexual and sensual person, and so that really spoke to me. I'm open, honest and out there with myself, my sexual preferences, and what gets me going.

So after looking around their website a bit (and quite honestly adding some items to my wish list so I could look at those at a later time and leave hints for my Husband), I wrote them back and said that I would be delighted to review a product for them. This is quite honestly the first time I've been contacted to review a product, sent to me by the company for free as thanks for letting my readers know about their site and their product offering. I was tickled pink, and very excited about this opportunity.

One thing I would like to say before I get into the product itself, and my experiences with it, is that the representative that contacted me was so friendly and warm.

So on to the review!

They sent me the Screaming O Super Powered Bullet. This particular product is one of the products they sell as part of their Mini Vibrators selection.

I've honestly never used a mini vibrator before. I've used Vibrators obviously, but never a bullet/mini vibe. So my curiosity was peaked.

When the Screaming O arrived at my home, it was in a standard USPS priority mail box. There was no way anyone who looked at the box could possibly know there was a sex toy inside of it. That's one thing I loved, a very discreet outer packaging.

I was very excited to open it up and take a peek! As it states on the website, the Screaming O comes in assorted colors (Pink, Purple, Silver, Red, Yellow, or Blue), and although you do not get to choose the color at the time of purchase, to me the color of the toy doesn't matter as much as how well the toy performs.

Below is a picture of the package it came in, as well as the mini vibe itself.

[gallery link="file" columns="4" orderby="title"]

The front of the package says "Screaming O Bullets" and below that it says "Super Powered Mini-Vibrator". The back of the package says the following:

  • Incredible Super-Powered Motor

  • Compact On-the-Go Size

  • Waterproof

  • Wireless

  • Replaceable Batteries

  • Fun Colors for Every Occasion

It also has a warning on it. It states "For external use only. Do not use on swollen or inflamed areas or skin lacerations. No health or medical claims implied."

So while the package itself is small, it gives quite a bit of information.

The toy has a soft button on the bottom of it, you do have to apply some pressure in order to turn it on or off. So at least if your fingers happen to bump it, there is a very slim chance that you'll turn it off without meaning to.

I turned it on, and it was powerful. For such a small thing, it packed a punch to it. It wasn't as quiet as I thought it would be. It is not incredibly loud, but it's not something I would personally use for a discreet, quick masturbation session in say, a public setting.

But it is small enough that you could toss it in your purse (no matter the size of the purse) and bring it with you literally anywhere. So if you're on a road trip, traveling on business or pleasure, you don't have to worry about hiding a normal sized vibrator in your suitcase and someone possibly discovering it. It's small, it's portable, and as I said before, it's strong.

If you enjoy softer stimulation, this may be a toy that is too powerful for you. Me? I love strong vibrations, and so this was right up my alley. There are no settings. It's a turn on or turn off type of toy. This is not really a bad thing in my eyes. Sometimes a toy that has too many functions on it can be really frustrating to me. I just want to get off, I don't want to have to study the toy first and try and find the exact setting that gets me going. It's masturbating, not a science experiment.

I wasted no time and put it to good use. Of course, my Husband wanted to watch and take pictures of me using it. At first I just used the Screaming O by itself. For me, it is really difficult to reach orgasm with only clitoral stimulation with no penetration at all. But I gave it a go.

As it says on the package, this is for external use only. This is not a toy that is safe to insert into any orifice. You can press it against your clit, you can rub it along your outer labia and enjoy those sensations, or whatever other creative ideas you may come up with,  but do not insert it.

So at first I just laid back on the bed, turned the Screaming O on and pressed it against my clit. It instantly felt great. The vibrations are strong, and did not lessen with I put more pressure on it.

But as I said, it's hard for me to reach orgasm with no penetration. So while it was getting me extremely turned on, I could not reach orgasm with it by itself. So I grabbed a dildo, placed it inside me, and then put the bullet back against my clit once more. It felt amazing. I was breathing hard, grinding my hips, and moaning in no time. When I did cum, which honestly did not take long, it was a long drawn out orgasm. I greatly enjoyed that experience.

Then my Husband and I decided to use it as more of a sex aid rather than just a masturbation tool. So I got on all fours, and He entered me. One He was firmly in place and got into His rhythm, I turned the bullet on, reached back, and placed it against my clit once more.

And again it was a wonderful experience. It helped to enhance all the other sensations that were going on, and it turned my Husband on to know that I was pleasuring myself while He was pleasuring me. So double bonus there!

The orgasm this small little toy brings are great. And for the price you can't really complain! Even if this toy had not been sent to me, and I had purchased it, I would be amazed at what a deal I had gotten. Normally toys that are not quite so expensive, are really not worth your time or money. But I have to say with the Screaming O I was very pleasantly surprised.

So thank you to Their Toys for this opportunity! I greatly enjoyed it, and my Husband enjoyed me reviewing this toy as well. *smirks*

December 18, 2010

Down Time

As I stated in my last post. I really needed some down time, some quality time with my Husband. And that's exactly what I got last night.

I had been up since 6am yesterday, and Master and I didn't retire to the bedroom until about 4am. Yeah, I was surprised I stayed awake as well. But we had a great time. We watched some Netflix, we talked for quite a few hours with no electronic devices on. I love doing that. And generally just had a good night.

Then it was time to go to the bedroom. Although it was extremely late (or is that early?) we were both horny as hell. Lately the only sex we had been having was when He came to bed after I'd already been asleep for a while and Him waking me up with His cock already inside me. Great sex, don't get me wrong. But not a whole lot of interaction on my part because I'm just waking up.

So we got to the bedroom, and Master slipped in between the sheets and starting play with my tits. Hands, teeth, and tongue. It got me really revved, especially when He started fingering me as well. I was bucking my hips in no time. He then knelt up, grabbed my hair and forced me to suck His cock, giving instructions as I did so. While He was busy making sure His dick was as deep into my mouth/throat as it possibly could be, He had me laying in such a way that He could still play with my pussy as well. He was making these slow circles around my clit and then dipping His fingers back inside me and then going back to the clit. It was incredible.

He then had me get on all fours and proceeded to fuck me to oblivion and back. He was rough, and hands on the entire time. Clawing my back, digging His fingers into my hips, and holding me in place. Simply amazing sex. After quite a few orgasms, He used me, but had me stay on all fours with my ass in the air and my face down to the mattress. It's the first time He had ever not allowed me to cum while in that position, and I'll tell you right now it was not easy at all.

When He filled me with His cum, we collapsed next to one another and I cleaned Him off, He scented me, and then we curled up and fell asleep together.

I do believe that is the best Friday I've had in a while. Not that other Fridays have sucked, because they haven't. But there was something about last night where everything was clicking just the way it should, both when we were talking and when we were fucking.

I love being me.

December 17, 2010

The Weekend At Last

Today was one hell of a long Friday, and not in a good way.

Work took forever and was quite stressful. I won't bore you all with the details. Hell even Master's eyes glaze over when I start talking about it. My job is far from fascinating, but I enjoy it.

Once I got out of work we went to the bank so I could pull out my copay for the therapy appointment tonight. From there we went to the pet's supply store and got dog food. Then we went to K-Mart and got rabbit food, soda, and allergy medication. After that, I dropped Master off at home and took off to my hour long appointment. It went well, but I really hate those late night appointments. I just got home and it's almost 9pm already. Blah.

Master is currently soaking His knee, because it's still bothering Him, and the cold weather is not helping at all.

I also had to reply to an e-mail that my brother sent me. In my last post I wrote about how my grandfather is not doing Christmas this year. Well apparently my brother, and crazy as hell uncle, thinks it's a good idea to just show up anyway. They basically want to crash his house. And they wanted me to go too.

I replied and told him that I thought it was a horrible idea. As much as it bothers me, I can now see how my grandfather would feel the need and/or desire to just not deal with it this year. He's earned that right. And for my brother and my uncle to think it's okay for them to go against his wishes and just barge right in... they're crazy. Especially if they think I'm going to be a part of it. So I told him no, that I would not be doing that and that I don't think they should either.

I mean if it were me I would be livid. Hell Master and I stayed home for Thanksgiving, we didn't go anywhere. If my brother had just showed up unannounced, I would have told him to leave and shut the door. No matter that it was a 45 minute drive. I told him I didn't want company, and I told him that it was just going to be me and my Husband. I would probably say something like, "Who do you think you are just showing up and expecting me to change my mind?"

And while Grandpa might not turn them away, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he'll be thinking.

Hopefully my e-mail will convince my brother to abandon the idea, but I doubt it. Oh well, at least I'll know I wasn't a part of it.

Now I'm off to enjoy the rest of the night with my Hubby. I could really use the down time.

December 16, 2010

Traditions Are Meant To Be Broken

It seems that Master and I are not the only ones breaking traditions this year. For Thanksgiving we stayed home by ourselves. We didn't go see family or friends at all. We enjoyed the whole four day weekend I had by ourselves, and I loved it.

But this newest development is bothering me quite a bit more than I thought it would. My grandfather has decided that he's not doing Christmas this year. For as long as I can remember every year on Christmas we went to my grandparents house. When my grandmother was still alive it was a huge event. She kept the family together, and that includes the ones who lived out of state. Every year while she was alive family would fly in from Kansas and California and other various parts of the US. And everyone had a blast.

As soon as she passed away that all stopped. It's been quite a few years now. She died when I was 11. But my grandfather still had our immediate family out every year. My dad, his girlfriend, me and Master, my brother, etc. My mother went too, until her and my father got a divorce that is.

But as sad as this may sound, my grandfather is 73 years old now and literally the only thing he talks about is going to see his wife, my grandmother. He wants to leave this world behind and go be with his wife. She passed away at the very young age of 54 years old. She had beaten the various types of cancer she had, but her heart gave out from all the stress exactly one week before she was supposed to leave the hospital for good and come home.

Honestly, since becoming an adult it's been extremely difficult to go to that house. I swear, even to this day, it's painful. I walk into the living room, and right in front of the walkway is a couch. Where that couch is, used to be my grandmother's hospital bed. They had rented one when she was home from the hospital on and off so she could be comfortable. And I swear sometimes I can still see that hospital bed rather than that couch.I remember her last Christmas she had Grandpa decorate her hospital bed with Christmas lights and tinsel.

That was one thing I remember about my grandmother very well, she did everything in the world to not scare my brother or myself. When she lost all her hair she told us by going into the other room, and taking off the wig she was wearing (it matched her hair exactly.. so we had no idea she was wearing one) and putting on a clown wig. And when we laughed and said she was silly, she said that she wanted to tell us something. She took off the clown wig and my brother and I immediately started crying. And she told us it would be okay, that her hair would come back. It never did, but she was trying to make us feel better. And when she had a double masectomy, we asked her why she wasn't so "fluffy" anymore, and I think that bothered her on some level. The next time we saw her she was "fluffy" again. I later learned that she had bought a bra with inserts so she would look the same.

She was in so much pain, and all she cared about was how we saw her, and how we felt about it all. She was the strongest person I've ever met in my entire life.

It hurts to be in that house. I was extremely close to her. But I also enjoyed going there every Christmas because it reminded me of her.

But this year my grandfather has decided that he is not having Christmas at his house, and he probably isn't going to my father's either. He is acting much like an old wolf, and separating himself from the pack, wandering off to die alone.

One part of me wants to be upset with him. I want to tell him he's being selfish and should let us be with him, and visit, and enjoy the few holidays we have left with him. But that's not what he wants. And that old man has always been one stubborn son of a gun. When he's made up his mind, that's that. You can't tell him anything different.

And I have to respect that.

Him and my grandmother had one of those marriages most people only dream about. She was his mate, just as Master is mine. They were meant to be together, and she was taken away far too soon. He has spent too long without her and I don't think he can take that heartache anymore.

You know, a few times I would walk into the room while we were visiting him and he'd be talking to her as if she were standing right there.

I can't say I'd be any different if I didn't have my mate. I'm sure people would think I was utterly insane. And I would be in a lot of emotional pain constantly, as I know he is.

He even told my mom the other day that he was only supposed to make it to 70, and that was it. He thought he'd be done by now. How or why he thinks that I have no idea.

I think he's just ready. And I really think the next time I'll see him will be at his funeral, and it won't be by my choice. But as much as I want to be upset with him, I can understand why he's doing it. Nothing matters to him anymore besides going to see his wife. He's done all he can, and fought as much as he could day by day. I think he's far too tired now, and just wants to be left alone. And I do respect him for that. As much as I hate to admit it.

December 14, 2010

I Hate My Sinuses

Last night I felt a little stuffed up when I went to bed. No biggie. Then I wake up this morning and it feels like my whole head is full. I don't have a cold or the flu because there are no other symptoms. So it's my sinuses. Those bastards.

And it's stayed that way pretty much all day. Sneezing, light-headed, a little dizzy every now and then, and a whole lot of feeling blah. It made it really difficult to concentrate at work, which is a really bad thing as I'm really busy right now and that probably won't change any time soon. What really sucks though is the driver of my carpool is leaving her house later, and later lately. And that means I'm getting closer and closer to the actual start time, rather than being there about 20 minutes early. I talked to her about it but she said that since her department isn't allowed any overtime right now, she figured she would just get to work closer to the normal start time.

So I've been cutting my lunch breaks short. Which kind of sucks seeing as it's the only break I get all day. We don't get 15 minute breaks. We just get lunch. It's a longer lunch than the usual 30 minutes, but still.

Oh well. I'm keeping up for the most part.

When I got home Master made dinner and I took my bath when He told me too. Immediately after the bath I took my medication and then Master had me do my exercises for the night.

Now He is allowing me to relax. Hopefully after a good night's sleep I'll feel better in the morning. I'm still not feeling all that great, and it's my turn with the dog tonight and Master gets the rabbits. So in about an hour I get to get all bundled up and take the dog out. I love the pup and everything, but sometimes I really wish he didn't take so long outside. In the summer and spring it's not that big of a deal. But when you're freezing your tail off and the dog is happily bounding through the snow and doesn't want to do his business, it's really damn annoying.

December 13, 2010

How Kitten Got Her Groove Back

I've been on my medication for exactly 32 days. I'm now on the full dosage of medication.

Over the years I always thought it was just depression, not thinking about the other extremes my mental state seemed to go through. Why? Because depression is what I had been diagnosed with in my early teens. I never thought it could be anything else. And I have been proven wrong.

When I think back through all the time I'd wasted in not getting help and thinking I didn't need medication and that it was just stress, it would pass, I'd be fine. You know, that thing called denial.

And Master has always, always tried to get me to open up about it. And now and then I'd tell Him I felt depressed. I had no idea that I was bi-polar, because I had been misdiagnosed when I was younger. And I had so many bad experiences with shrinks and medications in the past that I basically refused to believe that is what I needed.

And in doing all that I hurt not only myself, but my Husband. I have put Him through a lot, and it hurts me to know that. But I do have to say that since starting the medication and it building up in my system I feel great. I still feel stress and I still feel angry or sad, or whatever... but it's controllable. It's not one extreme or another. And it sure in the hell isn't a sudden, violent, shift from one to the other. To the point that it would make my head spin, let alone my poor Master's.

But if there is one thing that Master has always told me, we get past things, we deal with it, and we move on. And so I am doing my best to not dwell on it. I do my best to just be thankful that I am getting help now and I am on the medication I need to be on. Thankfully on the first try.

Master has commented on how things are going so much more smoothly these days, and that I seem like myself again. In control of myself again. And I know exactly what He's talking about.

I actually feel like I did when we were first married. Submissive, docile, feeling that drive to please Him. I am feeling very much in love (not that that ever went away) and very happy. We've still got stress, we've still got worries, but I am able to deal with them much more appropriately.

I have been pleasing to Him, and in turn that is making me very happy. I'm still playful, and I'm still silly, but I'm not snapping back at Him when He gives me an order. I'm not rolling my eyes when He tells me to do something. And I'm not feeling like I can't feel anything, like I did when I was in a very low, dark place in my head.

I'm me again. The me I always knew was there, but didn't know how to hold onto. And I've been this way for almost a month. Like I said, the medication takes time to kick in as it has to build up in your system. And now that I'm on the full dose of medication I only feel better.

I feel sexy, attractive. I have self confidence once more. I feel like His slave, His whore, His wife. I am His and His completely, and I'm what He knew me to be and what He's been trying to pull out of me. I am not perfect, but He doesn't want perfect. Perfection is not real. And I am very real.

December 12, 2010

Last Night

Last night Master and I headed out to meet the potential playmate I mentioned in my last post. We were kind of worried that the weather was going to interfere with our plans, as they were calling for quite a bit of snow. Thankfully the roads were clear enough, and everything was still a go. So we headed out to the bar.

I honestly can not remember the last time Master and I went to a bar, whether just the two of us or with other people. First off, we're not big drinkers, and secondly finances have just been way too tight. But since we paid off that damn loan last month, and I just got a pay raise, we had a little extra money to play around with.

Plus it was a nice public place and neutral ground to meet this guy at. And it was a half way point between us and him. We got there first, as we normally show up early whenever we have plans with someone.

But this guy showed up right on time, which was like a breath of fresh air as everyone we hang out with is constantly late. It's annoying. So lets see, what to call this guy. I don't want to call him "this guy" for the rest of the post. *thinks for a moment* Lets call him PB. That will work.

So PB shows up right on time and walks up to us and says "(Enter our names here) right?" And we smile and say yes. We both shake his hand and he sat down. We had already ordered our drinks, so once the waitress came over she got him a drink as well. So we sat and talked for quite some time. We talked about a lot of day to day stuff. Work, our hobbies, interests, etc. Basically a get to know one another type thing.

I actually had two Mike's Hard Lemonades. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I hardly ever have more than one and if I do, we're at home. Like I said I don't drink much.

Master had one double Jack & Coke and one single Jack & Coke. I usually enjoy a good Jack & Coke as well, but I just didn't want hard liquor right then. It was honestly amazing to me how well we all got along in a fairly short period of time. Before you know it we're all joking around and one thing that really pleased me was that we were sitting at a table with four chairs. Master sat down, I sat directly next to Him. So there were two chairs left. The one where PB would be sitting next to me, and across from Master and the one where PB would be sitting next to Master and across from me.

PB chose to sit next to Master. Why did this please me? Well because when we've done this in the past the guy always chooses to be closer to me rather than Master when we're at a table like that. Every damn time. But PB was different. And he also didn't just stare at me the whole time. He looked back and forth between us and didn't devote his attention one way or the other.

So after our second drinks Master and I wanted a cigarette. PB doesn't smoke, but doesn't have a problem with smokers, so he said he would have no problem going outside with us and talking while we had a cig.

Well, I'm a rather blunt person. (I know. You're all shocked.) And PB didn't seem to know how to broach the subject of "what happens next" and Master wasn't bringing it up either. So I did. I wasn't trying to be pushy, but I wanted to know so we wouldn't all stand around and wondering and then end up having an awkward moment.

Master kind of chuckled when I asked, and PB just smiled and said that he'd like to come back to our place and hang out more. So off we went!

He followed us back to our place, and originally we told him to park on the street since technically our parking lot is for tenants only. There is no visitor parking. So Master dropped me off at the sidewalk so I could show PB where our apartment is, while Master parked the car. When PB parked he rolled down his window and asked if where he was was okay. Then I suddenly remembered that during the winter months you have to have a sticker on your car window saying that you paid your monthly fee to park on the streets at night. It's stupid. I know.

But we didn't want him getting a parking ticket, we would have felt horrible. So I suggested that he park in the parking lot we have and just park in one of the unused spaces as there was no way the landlord was going to check out the parking lot that late at night, and on top of that it was snowing so no one would be able to tell he didn't have his parking do-dad on the rear view mirror.

So he asked if I could hop in his car so I could show him wear to park, and then where the apartment is. So I said sure. I honestly hesitated at first, but he hadn't tried anything yet, and Master has taught me how to protect myself both armed and unarmed, so I wasn't worried.

So I hop in his car and he didn't look at me or act any differently than he did in front of my Master. So I showed him where to park and then we walked up to the apartment. As we were walking up Master was coming out with the dog and said He'd be right back. PB and I proceeded into the apartment.

On the drive home Master had suggested that I change into lingerie as soon as we got home. Not necessarily to force PB into anything, but just in case things progressed that far.. and also so Master could show off.

So once we got inside I told PB what Master had told me to do and asked if that would make him uncomfortable. He said no, that it wouldn't. So I went into the bedroom and changed. When Master came inside I was in my lingerie and PB was in the bathroom. Master asked me if PB had already seen me in the lingerie and I said yes.

So then we were all in the living room and just talked. Master sat in His recliner, I sat on the computer chair and PB sat on the couch. We talked some more about work stuff and just funny stories, but we also talked more about the sexual side of things. It was interesting and fun. Master and I have an odd sense of humor, and sometimes people look at us funny. But PB just rolled with it and was laughing.

The hour was getting late, and the snow started to come down. We all agreed that we were interested in actually playing but PB had been up since 6am and it was already damn near 4am after all the talking and what not. So he left, but said that he would be in touch and that we should get together again soon. The only sucky part of meeting potential playmates right now is that the holidays are close and it's a very busy time of year. So we're not sure when we'll be able to hang out again.

No biggie though. He knows we're interested, and we know he is as well.

Master and I try to be good hosts when people are in our home, so we walked him to the door and said goodbye. I stood back a little and Master got the door behind him.

I remained where I was when Master closed the door. I was going to hug Him as soon as He came towards me, but He had other ideas.

He walked up to me, put both of His hands around my neck and forced His tongue into my mouth. My knees went weak and my heartbeat quickened as He continued to hold my neck in place and roughly kiss me.

When He stopped I'm pretty sure I just stood there kind of dazed for a moment. He walked past me and went to check a few things online and told me to go to the bedroom, and that He would be there in a moment.

When He came to bed it was immediate and powerful. We were both all over each other and it was very intense. He talked dirty to me, and made me respond in kind, He pinned me down and forced me into many very pleasurable positions. I was out of breath when we were done. His more primal side of His Domination over me was in full force and it I soaked in every thread of it like I had been starved for it.

When we were done, and I had cleaned Him off and He scented me, we curled up and went to sleep. This morning Master was up before me for a short period of time and woke me up with His cock again and again was extremely rough and it was very intense.

Again afterward we went back to sleep. I couldn't sleep much longer, even though I was very well satisfied, my dreams were replaying the events in my head and I couldn't sleep any longer. I did not wake Master up as I knew He was very tired as I'm sure He had restless sleep as He's had for a while now. So I went into the living room and just browsed the net for a while. I ended up laying back down on the couch for a little while and napped on and off.

When Master came out into the living room I got up and enjoyed the morning with my Husband. I've been feeling very docile, and very horny all day. It seems the more primal our sex is, the more I want it, no matter how satisfied I am. Master seems to enjoy this a great deal, especially since He can make me wait. *smirks*

No matter what happens during our search for potential playmates the one thing I know, and have always known, is that no one can make me feel the way He does, and no one can make Him feel the way that I do.

That's why I know we're mates. I know we are the "one" for one another. And it's also why we are secure in our marriage and are very open with one another about everything.

December 11, 2010

Killing Time

I woke up at 8:30am, which is unheard of for me on the weekends. It's still sleeping in, but I'm not normally up before 10am on the weekend. Why? Because I'm lazy.

But when I woke up I noticed that Master wasn't in bed. I also noticed that I couldn't breathe very well thanks to my sinuses. So I got out of bed, walked into the living room and Master was there. He had woken up because His knee was bothering Him. It's doing better than what it was a couple of weeks ago, but it still wakes Him up at night and He hasn't been sleeping well.

I took some sinus medication and thought maybe I'll just stay up until this stuff kicks in and then go back to bed for a couple of hours. But oh no. I'm wide awake now. Master however did go back to bed and told me to wake Him up at 11am. He only got four hours of sleep last night and He's been sleeping like shit for quite a while now, so I'm doing my best to be quiet and not wake Him up until 11am like He said.

So I decided to do a blog post to kill time before I wake Him up.

Also, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do a blog post later or not. Master and I have a lot going on today. We are cleaning the apartment a bit, doing more laundry because I stopped last night after one load of laundry as it was just getting too late and I wanted to relax a bit after having ran around all afternoon.

We also might be doing some Christmas present shopping today.

Then after that we are meeting a potential play mate this evening. It should prove to be interesting. It's another guy. We've played with other guys in the past. And honestly it's not even my idea. It's Master's idea. He mentally gets off on knowing He can order me to do things like that and watch my every reaction. He's a very interesting individual, my Master. He always makes sure I'm safe and that who ever we're playing with doesn't go past the pre-determined rules/limits. There aren't many limits to be perfectly honest.

The biggest one is that no other man is allowed to do anything anal related with me. Master is the only man who has ever even played with my ass, let alone fucked it. And it's staying that way. Yes, I was an anal virgin when I met Master.

So we're meeting this guy for the first time tonight. It's difficult weeding out possible playmates. Some of them are just all about them, and I'm sorry but that's not what this is about. I mean we want the playmate to have fun too, but that doesn't mean they get to do everything they want. Like one guy who contacted us wanted to do double penetration, with him being the one fucking me in the ass. Never mind we clearly stated that no other guy is allowed to do anal related things to me. Once we said no way in hell, he said fine but he still wanted to do double penetration, possibly with both him and Master in my pussy.

Um. I can get highly over stimulated and/or feel pain with just an anal toy in my ass and Master fucking my pussy. And that's a smaller anal toy. There is no way in hell that I'm going to be able to handle two guys fucking me at the same time. Let alone both of them trying to shove their dicks in my cunt.  I've seen it in porn and I squirm every single time I see it. Oh. My. Gods. That just looks fucking painful, and not in a tingly good feeling sort of way. More like a "Holy shit that bitch's twat is about to explode and there is going to be one hell of a story for the emergency room doctors to tell at the Christmas party," sort of way.

So while Master is a sadist (duh) He is not interested in doing severe damage that could require a doctor/hospital visit.

Master stretches my pussy with just His cock. He's got a very thick cock, and I already have a tight cunt, on top of doing kegels to make sure I stay tight, and that I can control my pelvic floor muscles during sex in order to pleasure Him more. They have also increased the strength of my orgasms over the years. Kegels are your friend. And guys? They can help you out as well. Just read this fun little Wikipedia article!

Okay, enough about kegels. Anyway, so yeah. We're meeting this guy tonight and hopefully it goes well. We're not entirely sure if we're just having drinks and then parting ways, or if other things are going to happen. We've talked with him quite a bit and we all seem to be on the same page and rather comfortable. But this will be our first face-to-face meeting. So pretty much anything could happen.

I'm kind of excited. Not so much for the physical sensations but for the mental reactions I get when my Master is watching my every movement, reaction and cataloging every noise and facial expression I make. It's like He's putting me under a microscope and there is nothing I can do about it, not even squirm. Why? Because it's all a mind fuck, and a very pleasurable one at that. After every time we've done this sort of thing in the past we have the most amazing sex ever for like the next month. We'll be fucking and He'll growl into my ear something  that happened during the previous play session where someone else was involved. Not that we don't normally have amazing sex, cause we do, but there is just something about the fact that not only does He put me under a microscope during the experience, but He forces me to relive it in a way while Him and I are fucking or I'm sucking His cock. I already cream myself when He starts talking dirty, so you can imagine what happens when He does that.

Now if only we could find a female playmate that isn't just interested in my Husband, we'd be styling.

December 10, 2010

It's Been a Good Friday

It's been a pretty good Friday, thankfully. I went to work for a whopping four hours and those four hours flew by which was awesome. It's the first time in about a month that I can remember seeing the sun when I got out of work. It helps leaving at noon rather than damn near 5pm though.

The ride home was fast as well, as there wasn't a lot of traffic. I got home and talked with Master for a little bit. I only got to be home for a half hour before I had to head back out the door again though. I had an appointment with Dr. L today and I didn't want to be late.

Well, while I was walking out the door Master was on the computer, and had His back to me as we had already said goodbye. I was being sneaky as I had a surprise planned for Him. I snatched His wallet out of His pants pocket (He wasn't wearing the pants, they were on the floor as He is generally naked at home which I love), opened it, grabbed His rewards/discount card for Game Stop, and put His wallet back in His pants without Him knowing.

I then went to the bank, pulled out my copay and went to my appointment. The appointment with Dr. L was pretty short. He just wanted to see how I was doing on my medication and write me an actual prescription as I was on the sample pack before. The medication is doing a world of good, and Dr. L seems very pleased with the results so far. One thing I love about Dr. L is that on our first appointment he asked me what I liked to be called. So I told him. (It's a shortened version of my first name, which is why I'm not posting it here.)

And he called me that today without me having to remind him. I'm sure it's in my file (holy hell I have a file at a shrink's office..) but still it was nice. Most people murder my first name anyway the first time or a few times there after, so that's why I prefer the shortened version.

So I happily leave the appointment with a script in my hand and two follow-up appointment reminder cards.

Now it was time to pick up Master's surprise. Well, it wasn't much of a surprise. I had asked Him what He wanted for Christmas, He told me, and I said I would get it for Him. He just didn't know when.

So I went to Game Stop and picked up a game He had on reserve still from November. He was really excited about this game, and had put a little money on it but we just couldn't afford to pay it off and pick it up so it just sat there. Until today. The guys at that store know us pretty well. Sometimes we just go in to look around and what not and talk with the guys who work there about this game or that.

The reason why I swiped Master's Game Stop reward/discount card is because He earns points for every dollar He spends, so this way He got more points to go towards whatever later. The guy behind the counter said, "It's pretty cool that you're getting your Husband a video game for Christmas and want it to be a surprise for Him. Not a lot of wives would do that." I just smiled.

So once that was done I went to Walgreens and filled my prescription. Having health insurance fucking rocks. I got the generic version of the medication I'm on, cause it's cheaper as far as the copay goes. Well when you get a prescription from Walgreens and you have insurance they print on the receipt how much money your insurance saved you. Apparently, my insurance saved me $104. That is not a typo. My copay was $10. So it would have been over $114 without insurance for a 30 day supply. That's fucking insane. I couldn't imagine having to pay that much per month. My insurance premium is much less than that.

While at Walgreens I also convinced the cashier to give me a roll of quarters for my $10 bill. Yay. Laundry money.

Finally I got home right before 4pm. I had tucked the game inside my coat so Master wouldn't see it right away. So we talk for a little bit and then I reach into my coat and hand Him the Game Stop bag and His face lit up. It was so worth it just for that reaction. He lovingly called me a sneaky bitch. So I said, "Do You want to know how sneaky I am?" He raised His eyebrow. So I reached into my purse, and handed Him the Game Stop reward/discount card and He was like, "When the hell did you get that?" So I told Him and He just laughed.

It's not often I can sneak shit past Him, so when I do.. it's awesome.

I took my coat off and got undressed. I'm finally relaxing and SS sends me a text message asking us what we're doing tonight.

So we get on the phone with her and her kids are driving her insane (so much drama.. it's just unbelievable what her eldest is putting her through) and she needs to get out of the house. So we go out to dinner with her and had a great time.

She was acting like she wanted to come hang out at our place, but I knew if we said yes she wouldn't leave until like three in the morning, so we gently brushed that idea under the rug and said we'd see her again soon.

Now Master and I are home. I just now started laundry cause SS called and wanted to get together. The up side to that is no one else is doing laundry right now in the complex. But when I went down there I realized that out of the three washers we have down there, only one is working. And one of the broken ones is the brand new one they just put in like two weeks ago.

Then again why they only have three washers for an apartment complex this size, I have no idea.

So I'll probably be doing laundry for quite a while tonight cause of course the dryers down there don't dry everything in one cycle. Oh no. They want more quarters than that. So you have to put them in for like three spins before they are dry.

So like I said, it's been a good Friday.

December 9, 2010

Snow. Blah.

Well this is Wisconsin, so I know that none of us should be surprised that it was snowing today. But that doesn't mean we liked it.

It started snowing about mid day at my job, and I knew immediately that we would be late getting home. MZ, the driver in my carpool, already drives like she's a grandma, and she's younger than I am. Add snow to that mix, and well.. you get the picture.

The interstate was all sorts of fucked up thanks to people apparently forgetting how to drive in the snow every single year. Seriously. This is Wisconsin. If you don't know how to drive in the snow safely, you shouldn't be allowed to have a driver's license. That's all I'm saying.

So I got home a half hour later than usual. Part of that was because of the snow, and the other part was because MZ wouldn't take my suggestion of getting off the interstate before our usual exit ramp. She is a person who is set on routine, and she doesn't like going off the interstate before our ramp because it's not the norm. It kinda sucks.

So I get home and Master and I head right back out again. We went to the store and picked up a space heater. The heating in this apartment sucks, so we figured that we would get a space heater to help us keep warm. So far, we like it. But I'm keeping the receipt and the box just in case we have to take it back.

Master then treated me out to dinner. He had made some money doing a freelance job. It's not steady money, but it's something that He can do when they need Him, and puts some money is His pocket. So He wanted to go out to dinner with me, which I thought was really sweet of Him. And I had a great time. We haven't been able to go out to eat in quite a while, and we use to do it every Friday. It was like our date night. So I know that we both missed it.

We got home around 8pm and did some rearranging so we could put the space heater in a safe place. Then we watched The Expendables. Love that movie.

It's already almost 10:30pm and I'm not tired. I'm sore, and my back isn't liking me right now. But that's because I've been busting my ass at work, and the cold isn't helping.

Thankfully tomorrow is my half day at work, so I only have to get through four hours of work. Then it's off to my appointment with Dr. L. After that we have some errands to run and then hopefully a nice relaxing afternoon/evening with my Hubby.

December 8, 2010

Comfy Day

Last night I started passing out on the couch around 9:30pm or so. That's actually not the usual anymore. Before I started my medication it was like that damn near every work night. But for the past four weeks I've had more energy and have been sleeping better at night.

But for whatever reason I was really tired last night. So Master had me to go bed after I was done taking care of the rabbits.

This morning I woke up and I felt like hell. So I decided I was just going to be comfortable at work today, and wore a hoodie and my sneakers instead of my new, more professional looking, clothing. But I wasn't feeling good, so I just wanted to be comfortable damnit.

I took a sinus pill before I left the apartment, but it didn't kick in right away. So it wasn't until about noon that I actually started feeling better and didn't feel like I was going to nod off.

Then this afternoon I had all the energy in the world! I actually had so much energy that I couldn't sit still and I was talking really fast. Not good. I had to force myself to calm down so I didn't make any mistakes at my job.

Now I'm home and Master and I are enjoying the evening together. Not a lot planned tonight but we actually do have plans for Saturday, so that should be interesting.

And on Friday is another appointment (a short one) with Dr. L. It kind of sucks having to pay a full copay with the appointment is only going be like 20 - 30 minutes instead of a full hour. But I just try to think of it this way... if it wasn't for my insurance how much would I be paying? Yeah. I'll stick with my copay. I've seen how much a one hour session with Dr. L is full price. No way I could afford that without my health insurance.

Also as of this Friday I'll be on the full dosage of my medication. So far no weird reactions and it seems to be working just fine!

December 7, 2010


During the past week Master and I haven't had a lot of time and/or energy to be cuddly and get our groove on.

But last night that drought ended. Thankfully.

He ordered me to the bedroom and needless to say we fucked, and it was absolutely incredible. Master was turning me into a pretzel after a while.. *giggles*

Once we were done and I had cleaned Him off He told me to get some sleep. So I stayed curled up in our bed, which was nice and warm from our fun.

I passed out rather quickly. But later on in the night (no idea what time) I was woken up by Master already deep inside me, having His way and using me. I started bucking my hips a bit and moaning as He continued to fuck me.

He had been extremely generous with orgasms the first time around, but this time, it was no orgasms for Kitten, which made it all the more erotic to me. First I wake up to Him fucking me and being none too gentle about it, and then even though He knows I'm awake, He does not allow me any orgasms. That is so hot to me.

Once He filled me for the second time, He curled up next to me and we fell asleep.

Half asleep sex is awesome. Especially in the middle of the night where you know that as soon as you're done, you get to cuddle and drift back off to sleep, rather than having to get up right away.

I love it.

December 6, 2010

Meat Popsicle

Today started another work day. And it was fucking cold out. So I wore layers of clothing since I knew I would be taking the bus home from work tonight.

I had on jeans, boots, a long sleeved t-shirt, a vest, and then my leather jacket. Oh, and my hat and gloves as well.

The ride to work wasn't bad. And it was nice and warm inside the office. But then came the rough part. MZ, the driver of the carpool I'm in, had to go to school tonight, like she does every Monday. So on Mondays instead of driving me home she drops me off down town.

Normally Master picks me up on Mondays, but today we just didn't have the gas in the car, nor the money to put in it for Him to drive that far. (It's about a 40 minute drive one way.)

So I go to the bus stop, and of course there are two people sitting on the bench that is shielded from the wind and they are making sure to take up as much space as fucking possible. So I have to stand there with no wind shield and wait for the bus. And of course the bus is late. This is public transit we're talking about after all.

So I get on the bus and I'm shivering and having a hard time breathing due to all the cold air. So I'm trying to slow down my breathing and what not. As I do that I start to wonder why the hell I'm not getting any warmer.

Oh. Maybe because the heater on the bus isn't working and every time we come up on a bus stop of course someone has to get on the bus or get off the bus, so both doors open and blast more cold air in. Blah.

I then also realized that I had gotten on one of the buses that doesn't take me close to my home. It's about 5 blocks further away than the normal bus stop. Son of a bitch.

So I'm texting all this to Master while I'm on the bus, and He tells me to just get off at the bus stop and He'll come pick me up so I don't have to walk in the freezing cold.

Because He loves me.

This poor guy had to get all bundled up, sit in the car for it to warm up enough to move and defrost the windshield, and then come get me and drive us both back. It's only about a 7 minute drive, but with walking, it takes quite a bit longer because of the do not walk signs and all that bullshit. That and I can't walk 35 mph.

So we get home and Master allows me to put on a hoodie to stay warm. Pretty soon I'm going to go take my bath and relax a bit before having to go back to work tomorrow.

Oh yeah. And hopefully get some nookie tonight. (Yay! Nookie!)

By the way... are Master and I the only ones who know what movie the title of my post is from?

December 4, 2010


I had e-mailed my mother-in-law stating that I needed some new clothes. Preferably more professional looking clothes. She said she would be more than happy to get me some and they would be my early Christmas present. She asked me kind of what I was looking for and so I told her, along with my sizes. My job allows us to wear casual clothing, but honestly I want to start looking a bit more professional when I'm at work than a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. At least most of the time.

Honestly getting them as my Christmas presents was the whole point of the e-mail. That's normally what she gets me and sometimes it doesn't always quite work out, as I do not always like what she gets me. It's the way of things when people buy you clothes, sometimes they just aren't you. And I'm saying when anyone buys you clothes, not just in-laws. So I figured this time if I told her exactly what I was looking for, it would go better.

Well she bought them last night and had us come down to her place today for me to pick them up. So we went down there. Thankfully the roads were pretty clear, even if our apartment sidewalks and parking lot wasn't. *grumbles*

We got there around 3pm. She showed me what she had bought, and they were all tops. I need some new jeans too but I told her that with jeans it's really best for me to try them on before they are purchased. With pants especially my size can differ quite a bit depending on who makes them and the cut of them. I can be anywhere from a 2 to a 5. It's kinda weird.

When my mother-in-law buys me clothes she always wants me to try them on at her place before we leave, and see me in each piece so she knows they look nice. I may complain about my mother-in-law because she is a very ... dramatic person. But I know she truly does like me a lot, if not love me. She always wants me to look nice. And I can tell that as I'm getting older (I'll be 28 in three months..) she is wanting me to dress more professionally most of the time. Now where I can't see that happening, I wouldn't mind new clothing. Let's face it, we all find the 40 year old women dressing like their teenage daughters to be annoying.

You can still be sexy without having to dress like you're 15. And while I still love my slut gear, I also realize that I can't wear that all the time. I swear if I had the money most of my clothes would be replaced. I'd have all new jeans, I'd have a lot more sexy type tops instead of t-shirts, and I would have several different pairs of heels, along with some more dresses and matching tops and skirts sets.

I've been drooling over the Charlotte Russe selection. I have found quite a few things that I would love to own. But alas, the money just isn't there right now.

Who knows. Maybe I'm maturing a bit more. I don't want to just wear sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt all the time. While I feel I look good in that, I know I always feel sexier when I'm a bit more dressed up. And I think that would drive my Husband wild (in a good way) if I did that more often for no reason at all, even if we're just bumming around.

So my goal is that when I have a little spare cash on hand, to just go out and buy myself a new article of clothing. Piece by piece my wardrobe will improve.

So before I stray a bit too far off, lets go back to when we were at my mother-in-laws house.

I go into her bedroom, and shut the door. Each time I try on one of the new tops, I come out and go into the living room for everyone to see. I distinctly remember a couple times my Husband's eyes lighting up a bit when He saw me in the new tops. That's how I knew I looked good.

Oddly enough He said that His favorite thing out of the whole lot was a black blazer. I thought it was cute, but I've never, in my life, worn a blazer before and I honestly felt a little awkward in it. But Master? He loves it on me.

And you can dress professionally and still look sexy. Not that I want to look sexy for anyone at work, but I want to look sexy for my Husband as He'll see me in it the minute I walk in the door.

Hell, we could even due strip tease type photo shoots with them. ;-) Some of the tops have buttons.

The bad side to me wanting basically an almost entirely new wardrobe? The money aspect. It seems that my tastes in clothing and shoes are getting more expensive as I get older as well. But I'm sure that was bound to happen. I also need more hangers. I'd like all of my clothes (especially once I start buying new ones) to all be hung up. It'll make life easier.

So, I have a goal. To slowly but surely go through my wardrobe and replace damn near everything in it. Oh. And new lingerie too, maybe get rid of some of the older pieces.

This is going to be expensive. But I think if I just buy one or two new pieces of clothing at a time, it'll hurt the wallet a lot less.

One thing I'd love to do is get a bit of extra money and be able to buy a couple new outfits (top, pants/skirt, and heels) at one time. Go to the store, bring Master with me, and do a little modeling for Him and have Him decide which are the best two and buy them, not even thinking about what it's costing. I think that would be wonderful.

It probably won't happen this month, but maybe next month I'll have a little spare cash and be able to buy a few new things.One thing that really amazes me about all this, is that I've never been one of those girls that's all about the clothing. And I'm still not all that big into fashion, but I know what I like. And I think this is just me wanting to break away from the jeans and t-shirt type dress and look as good as possible for my Husband, and for myself, at all times. I also really want to start wearing heels more often. Although I only have two pairs right now (not counting the thigh highs). One of the pair.. well it would not be appropriate in a work environment. They kind of scream "fuck me heels", and it's way too cold to wear them right now as they are completely open. And the other pair? I love them. They are boots with a high heel. But I don't want to wear the same pair every day and they aren't always the most comfortable thing to wear for a 8+ hour day as the heel is kind of high.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go drool more over clothing and heels and add things to my wish list.

December 3, 2010

Not Much to Say

I don't have a lot to say today. Work was busy. It's cold out. It's supposed to snow tonight/tomorrow. It appears that winter is actually here. We didn't have much of a fall. It was hot, and then it was cold.

I'm still excited about my raise. It's nice to have a job where I'm actually appreciated, and they show it not only with pay raises that aren't insulting, but also verbally. I've never had a job like that before. Hence why I've stayed with the company and am not looking to leave it any time soon. Hell, I may be there till I retire if it keeps going this well.

Master's knee is still bothering Him. Although it does seem to be getting a little better. He still can't sleep through the whole night, and is still going through a long stint with insomnia.

I've missed curling up in bed with Him at night, as my bedtime is 11pm during the work week and He's up until normally 3am. But thankfully on the weekends He normally allows me to stay up late. So not only do I get more time with Him, but I get to fall asleep in His arms, which I greatly enjoy. It makes me feel safe, warm, and loved.

I'm officially on my fourth week of medication. This is my last week on the 50mgs and next week Friday I'll be starting my 100mgs. Next week Friday is also my next appointment with Dr. L, and he'll be giving me an actual prescription, as this has been a "sample kit". It's used to get the "patient" on the full dose slowly. And it's easier to hand those out rather than having to write a new script every couple of weeks. I feel that it's doing a world of good. I can still feel my full range of emotions, but I haven't felt depressed at all since being on the medication and I also haven't felt extremely hyper to the point that I feel like I'm about to burst right out of my skin. So I'm very pleased with the results, and I'm glad that we didn't have to go through a lot of different medications to find one that worked, and didn't make me feel like shit or have some really fucked up side effects.

And now I'm off to do a cigarette run. I'm going to get bundled up, run to the gas station, come back, warm up, and take my bath.

December 2, 2010

Proud of Myself

This post mainly has to do with my job. So if that bores the hell out of you, you'll probably want to skip this post entirely.

You have been warned.

I have been with the company I work for, for nearly two years now. It'll be two years in March actually. (March is a busy as hell month. There is my birthday, our anniversary, and my work anniversary.)

About four months ago I transferred from my old position with the company, to the one I am currently in. It was kind of a risky move since it was doing a lot more work and was much more complicated. But I was bored out of my skull at my last position. Basically I felt that the only skills I actually needed to do that job were the following:

  1. Read

  2. Write

  3. Type fast

That's it. And let me tell you, it drove me bat shit crazy. I know I'm smarter than that and so when smart(ish) people do those kind of jobs one of a few things happens..

  1. You get extremely bored but figure it's easy enough work so you stick with it.

  2. You get so bored that you literally start to hate your job and think about doing odd things like throwing your monitor at people because that will at least get your brain to function.

  3. You get so bored and/or pissed off with your job that you quit because you just can't take it anymore.

Apparently I'm into lists today. Who knew.

So anyway, I was to the point that I was just mind numbingly bored and wanted out of the position. But I knew I didn't want to leave the company because it's honestly the best place I've ever worked for and in this economy if you are lucky enough to have something like that, you hold onto it for dear life.

So I was looking at one of two options. Either ask for a transfer, or keep my mouth shut and keep the current position. So I had talked to Master about it and He said I should try for a transfer because I had nothing to lose.

So I looked at the current openings in the company and then asked for the transfer. It took a good month and a half to two months to go through. But now I've been doing my current job for four months.

Well exactly a month ago was my 90 day mark at my current position. I didn't really think much of it because I figured all it was going to be was a "this is how you're doing" type thing. No raise or anything. But I still was interested to see how I was doing. So I did look forward to the review.

This morning I got to work and there was an e-mail waiting for me from my supervisor stating that I would be having my 90 day review today at such and such a time.

So I got all excited. I was really interested to see how I was doing in my new job, cause like I said it is a lot of work, and I wanted to make sure I was doing as well as I should be.

So I go into the HR office and meet my supervisor there. My supervisor tells me that I am actually ahead of where I should be and he is very happy that I decided to transfer to his department because I'm an asset to him and his team. He gave me a lot of praise and all I could do was sit there, smile, and tell him thank you. It was so nice to hear and I'm very proud of myself.

So then my supervisor leaves the room and HR asks me to stay. So I sit there and I figure she's going to have me sign something stating that I had my review. But no.

Apparently I did get a raise! In fact I got a $0.30 raise. Rock the fuck on! And I'll be getting another raise in March when I have my two year review. This is awesome!

So I told Master about it and He told me how proud of me He was as well. That made me very happy. I love it when I do something that makes Him proud of me.