Long and Drawn Out

As you may have read on Master's blog we had a very long, drawn out discussion last night. Well it started out as a discussion and turned into a bit of an argument, before calming back down into a discussion.

A while back I had talked about joining the Navy, as an active member. However, I wanted to do office work. Master said no. He flat out said no, He would not have a wife as an active member of any armed forces.

Well last night I told Him how I thought maybe I should get a 2nd job (part time), and all this. There are down sides to it of course. I wouldn't make much money because I wouldn't be able to work that many hours. I already have a full time job, so yeah. Plus I already don't see much of my Husband as it is. Throw a 2nd job in there, even at part time, and it becomes even less.

Why the 2nd job? More cash. Plain and simple.

So then my mind started wandering a bit, because I don't want to go back to retail. I really, really enjoy office work. And of course the Navy Reserves pops into my head. I honestly was not trying to piss Him off when I brought this up. I truly was not. But that's what happened.

Me? I'm not patriotic. Say what you will, but I don't take pride in a place that I just happened to be born in. My parents were born here, they fucked, they didn't move out of the country, so I was born here as well. *shrugs*

So.. why the reserves? Well I'll tell you. Money. It's really the driving force there. Extra cash for one weekend a month, two weeks a year. Bad part? Nine weeks of boot camp. But I would be an office assistant after that. One of my coworkers does this.

Also, for some odd.. odd reason I've always wanted to join the Navy. I had an uncle in the Army (along with some other family members but I didn't see them that often), an uncle in the Air Force, and a cousin in the Marines. The only one that I thought was an asshole was the Marine cousin.. but uh.. yeah.. he was a fucking Marine. Duh, he's an asshole. (No offense, I've just never in my life met a nice Marine.) I had good experiences with members of the military.

Master has also had experience with His family members being in the military. His grandfather (bless him) was in the Army and His father was in the Marines. In Master's experiences with these people, He felt that the armed forces worsened their quality of life rather than improving it.

So as I was saying, since I was young (it was before I was 12, I know this because my grandmother was still alive) I wanted to join the Navy. For one reason or another over the years I just never did.

Master as His blog explains is dead set against this. He doesn't want me to become enlisted as a Navy reserve.

I was going to drop it after the discussions last night, but when I read His blog post this morning it of course came up again. During this conversation He said that the nine weeks of me being gone would be very hard. And I agree with that. I told Him that I would look at it as a means to an end. Training for a job, basically.

Master said it is not because He doesn't think I could do it. He said He knows that if I passed the physical, that I would excel at it. He told me I can do what I'm going to do. But I won't have His blessing. He won't have my back on this one.

He also told me that my collar and cuff wouldn't mean much because I can only have one Master. He said He spent the past six years trying to break me down and rebuild me, and the Navy would just break all that down and rebuild me the way they want me. He told me that He wouldn't divorce me over it, unless I enlisted and became a totally different person because of it.

Now, keep in mind I'm looking at it only from a job perspective. It's an 8 year contract, which means a job for 8 years unless I get a medical, honorable, or dishonorable discharge from the service.

Master says that it would be another Master.. They would say jump and I would say how high. I look at that much like a job. A boss is another person to tell you what to do, and in a lot of situations you do it because you want to keep your job because you literally need that paycheck. Which is exactly why Master puts up with so much bullshit from His job. We need that income. Flat out. There is no denying that. And that is why I put up with so much shit from my job prior to my current one. I needed that paycheck so I put up with all their shit, I jumped through all their hoops.

So today, Master looked at me and said, "Be selfish about this one. I don't want to crush your dreams, but I can't back you on this." He kept telling me that I had this look on my face when He said no, like He had kicked my dog or something.

But as someone pointed out on His blog already, I probably wouldn't pass the physical anyway because of my fibromyalgia and migraines.

I kept telling Master that I would drop the subject. He doesn't believe me. He says this is something I've always wanted and that I'll keep bringing it up until I'm to old to be a recruit. But I don't want to stop being His slave. I don't want to feel like I am out right defying Him. I don't want Him to look at me every day and go, "You just had to go and do it... didn't you?"

But through out the day today He dropped hints about how I should call, get more info, that sort of thing. He says if I'm going to do it, He would rather me do it now so my "term" could be up all the sooner. (If I join now, I'd be 34 when the 8 years was over.)

I'm confused, and not sure what to say on the subject anymore. He has already said, and wrote that if I go forward with this.. it'll show Him that my collar and cuff don't mean much to me. And they do. They mean a lot to me.

So it looks like it's extra income/joining the Navy reserves (or trying to) or my submission to Him. In that case, my submission to Him trumps the Navy reserves. But then He'll bring it up again and I'm back to being confused. I know He doesn't want to crush this for me. He loves me. But I also don't want to cause bad blood between us.

Of course all of this is all so.... "what if" ... because as I said, I probably wouldn't get in anyway due to my medical history. So whatever.

Rest and Relaxation

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I'm Still Alive

Yes, I didn't post yesterday. I'm not in trouble or anything. But Master and I watched a movie last night and before we knew it, it was time for bed and we were both exhausted. So He gave me permission to not blog last night.

Sometimes I think that if I skip a post, ya'll will think I died or something because I do normally blog daily.

But sometimes, we're just tired or get home really late so Master says I can play hookey from the blog.

So anywho..

Today Master actually got out of work at 3pm. Holy shit, it's a miracle! So He was able to pick me up from work. From there we went home and I took out the trash after taking out the dog while Master checked His e-mail and what not.

From there we headed down to my father's. We hung out and talked for a while, which was nice. We left there around 9pm and then hit a restaurant for dinner like we do every Friday.

Now Master is watching Deadliest Warrior, and I'm just trying to relax.

The past few days my fibromyalgia has been kicking my ass. So I've been sore and cranky and I've been having shoulder and back spasams. Joy of joys. I don't have much to say tonight. Apparently I'm more tired than I actually thought when I started this post. I'll do a longer post tomorrow. Promise.

Hump Day

Well, it's Wednesday. Although with all the craziness from Master's work lately, it feels like it should be the weekend already.

It's odd how that works. We just got off of a three day weekend, and in the past two days His job has caused so much bullshit it's not even funny. Master had started work at 6:30am yesterday, and didn't get home until right before 11pm. That is some bull right there. So we had time for Master to take a shower, shove food down His throat, talk for about 10 minutes and then we had to go to bed. Blah.

Today, He thought He'd be out in time to pick me up, but He wasn't. B wasn't able to take me home because he was at a baseball game. So I called another friend of ours, L, and he was able to pick me up and take me home. But the process of figuring out who was going to was a pain in the ass, especially since I was doing it all on my lunch break.

Once L dropped me off at home I went inside and took care of the dog. I was about to start getting undressed and Master walked in the door. What do ya know, we actually get some time together today. I'm so grateful to His job for letting Him out to play. *groan*

Thankfully Friday is payday. Yay for money! Then bills. Boo for bills!

Master and I are both very sore from work and stress. He says we're going to exchange back rubs tonight, so that'll be nice.

Work was busy today, and I'm sure it will be for a little while yet. I know Friday will be dead. Fridays are always dead.

Well, it's almost 8:30pm. I have to go take my shower, do my after care for the piercings, and soak in some quality time with Master.

Master's Job Sucks

Yep, I said it. I swear if we didn't need that paycheck... Gah!

Master's alarms woke me up around 5:30am. I got up and changed the alarms to when I needed to get up. Master got ready for work and woke me to say goodbye before heading out the door.

My alarm went off at 6:30am (the time Master actually started work this morning) and I got ready for work. B picked me up and dropped me off at my job.

Master called me a few times through out the day. You see, He had gone to a job site and once that one was over with, He found out that He had to go to a different one. One that would require Him to be at work rather late.

B had the day off from work today, and was actually not anywhere near town so I was scrambling to find a way home. Thankfully B was able to come and pick me up.

One small problem though. I needed to get rabbit food or the bunnies weren't going to have anything to eat tonight. So Master told me that if B couldn't take me to the pet store, to have him drop me off at Master's work so I could pick up the car. Then when Master got out of work, He would call me and I would drive Him home.

Well it turned out that B was able to take me to the pet store, so that worked out fine.

Once I was home I took care of the animals and then hopped onto the computer and put out a lot of job applications for Master. We both want Him out of that job, because it sucks. No schedule. We can't make plans. We are constantly trying to figure out how I'm going to get home. We don't get that much time together during the week. Master is constantly stressed out because of this job.

I wish He didn't have to work there. I really do. I wish that I made enough where He could just quit and then look for another job. But I don't. I can't support the household by myself. And I feel guilty because of it. It's not that Master makes me feel guilty, or anything of that nature.. I just simply feel guilty. And I hate it.

I'm not kidding when I say we're addicted to one another. Master told me over and over again how much He misses me today. And I told Him the same.

Never mind the fact we just had three days off together. That doesn't matter. We havn't really seen each other today. We need our fix damnit! We're hopeless. Hopeless I tell you!

It must be the weather, but my joints are killing me. My whole body aches. I can only imagine how sore my Husband is. :-(

I miss Him a lot. I was ordered to eat dinner, and then put the rest in the fridge for when He gets home. Due to my blood sugar problems, He didn't want me to wait until He got home in order to eat.

However I was given permission to stay up until He gets home. So yay! I'll get a little time with Him at least.

When I first got in the car with B this morning when he picked me up, one of the first things I said to him was "I got my collar and cuff back!" (He knew why they were removed.)

It felt so good to have them on at work again. I feel naked (in a bad way) without them on. Vulnerable I guess? I don't really know why. I mean I know why I feel naked without them on, but the vulnerable thing? No idea.

Do I think that Master is not protecting me unless they're on? I'd be crazy (shush) to think that. Do I think someone is going to pop out of the shadows saying, "Ah ha! She doesn't have her collar and cuff on any longer! Get her!" ... as if my collar and cuff hold magical powers or something. Neat idea, but no. Weird don't you think?

So now I'm just going to kill time until Master is home.

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day, which means that Master and I both had the day off of work.

Even though it was a three day weekend, it still went by rather quickly. Oh well, we had three days. I guess I can't complain to much.

We got up at 9am and got ready for the day. Shortly there after, we headed out the door and went down to His mother's house. Her boyfriend's kid and his kid's fiance were there. They had flown down for the holiday weekend and His mother and her boyfriend had kept them pretty busy all weekend. It was a little hard to hear about all of the fun things they had done, because we only ever go down there to eat dinner and then we go home. Other than that, if it is our anniversary or something along those lines they took us to a play once and dinner.

If it's not dinner, whether at their place or at a restaurant, we don't really do anything.

But Master and I tried to make the best of it. We sat around, talked, ate lunch, and Master had me sit on His lap for a little while, which was nice.

And it feels so good to have my collar and cuff back on! My security blankets are back.

Once we got home we relaxed for a while, and I begged as I am supposed to. However, I was horny, so when He slapped my ass telling me it was okay to move again, I turned around and sucked His dick until He was very hard. I then asked for Him to fuck me and He pointed me to the bedroom.

He put me on all fours and fucked me rather hard. It was incredible! My VCH piercing is adding a little something to sex. It feels great. I am so glad Master allowed me to get it.

After sex we went into the living room and I ran out to grab something to eat for us. But shortly after I ate, I got an upset stomach. :-(

So I took a shower to try and make me feel better, and then Master allowed me to take a brief nap. I feel a lot better now thankfully.

Now Master is watching Tripping the Rift on His X-box 360 and I'm on here, just trying to relax before we have to rejoin the working world tomorrow.

Collared & Cuffed

Some of you may remember, if you keep tabs on this blog, that Master and I had gone through a brief period of time where we dropped His Domination over me. And then, when I decided that I wanted that back, that I needed that back, He told me that to show how serious I was about it He was taking off me collar and cuff. I then had to earn them back. If not, you can read some of it here.

He told me that He didn't know when I would get them back. And it hurt to have them removed. But I haven't said a word about it. I tried not to even really think about it because I didn't want to become impatient.

Well, tonight after we got back from the movies, I walked into the kitchen and Master grabbed my neck and told me to get undressed and then get the dog situated and He would tell me what to do from there. So I did exactly that.

Once that was done He went into the bedroom and when He walked back into the living room He had the collar and cuff in His hands. He sat down on the computer chair and I knelt in front of Him, nuzzling His hands.

He said, "I remember saying this once before, but I'm going to say it again. Don't make me regret this." I nodded.

Then He said, "These aren't coming off again." I nodded again. He continued by saying, "And if they do, they are going in the garbage. Understood?" Again I nodded.

He started with the cuff. Once that was on my left wrist I moved my hair and He put my collar back on.

I have earned them back.

I am very, very happy.

It has been about a month since they were removed. They were removed on the 26th of April. Today is the 24th of May.

Although this time period has taught me something. Although I find symbols to be very important, (my wedding ring, my collar, my cuff, etc.) they are not necessary. I was just as much His property and following His path without them on as I am with them. However, I am grateful to have them once more.

I have to admit I'm a little surprised at the timing of it. You see, we're seeing His mother tomorrow. And although I was allowed to wear them around His mom, I'm a bit surprised that He put them back on the day before we go to see her. Not that I'm complaining mind you. I'm not that crazy. ;-)

But now I am collared and cuffed once more, and I am elated.

We saw Terminator Salvation tonight. I didn't really care for it, although Master didn't think it was that bad. And earlier today I spent some time at my mother's.

It is almost 10pm. Master says we can stay up a bit late tonight, so that'll be nice.

Well, I'm off to spend some time with Master.

Thank You Master for putting the collar and cuff on me again.

Day 1 Of 3

I'm being super lazy with this blog post title, but I'm okay with that. It's a three day weekend, I'm allowed. So there, and such.

Today is the first full day of the three day weekend, and it was great.

We got up around 10am. Ya know, sleeping in used to mean until about noon or so. What the hell ever happened to that? Oh well, we slept past 6:30am, so we can't really bitch.

We relaxed in the living room for a while and Master asked me what I wanted to do today. I said I didn't know. So we just sat around and chilled, and Master got a blowjob.

Then He started talking about how He wanted to see the new Terminator movie, which we'll probably see tomorrow. From that bit of conversation we started looking at the DVDs that were taking over the bottom shelf of our entertainment center. (Gods I can't wait to replace that thing.) So Master and I sat on the floor and started digging through them. Master would hold up a DVD and we would both vote one of three ways: Keep, Sell, or Toss. Why the toss pile? Well some movies were ones we had bought "previously viewed" so we know we wouldn't get squat for them. Surprisingly we voted the same way damn near every time.

We ended up with quite a few movies in the Sell pile. We got dressed and headed out. We stopped at the gas station, and then went out to the store where we sell cds, books and movies once we're sick of them. It's a lot easier than a garage sale. We walked around the store looking at things while we waited for their offer. Amazingly enough we didn't buy anything! I was shocked.

So we took our money and went home. We watched a bunch of South Park episodes on Netflix and ate dinner.

I had a pressure headache, and it just would not go away, so I took my shower a bit earlier than I normally do. But I feel so much better now.

And of course, after my shower I did my piercing aftercare routine. Hey, it's a process damnit. I get myself all set up and then do my sea salt soaks. Once the sea salt soaks are done I get rid of any little crusties on the jewelry with a q-tip. After that is done, I do the saline solution and then pay myself dry.

Although honestly, I have barely had any crusties on the jewelry what so ever. I'm shocked by this. I also hope I didn't just jinx myself. *knocks on wood* It's officially a week since I first got them done. And I am so happy Master had me do all three at once. This rocks. I love them. And now, I'm not jonesing for a tattoo as badly. I guess I was just anxious for some kind of body mod. And I got three. :-D

Let The Three Day Weekend Begin

The week is over and now, the three day weekend begins!

Master had another long day at work, so when I got out of work I walked to B's job and he took me home again. Hey, at least I'm getting plenty of exercise and fresh air. :-)

When I got home, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Master was in His recliner. He had gotten home about 15 minutes before I walked in the door.

We talked about our days and then went out to dinner, like we do every Friday. We had a great time, joking around and just relaxing. I think we were both breathing a sigh of relief that it was the end of the week.

This weekend is a bit hectic. Sunday I'm going down to my mom's for a few hours. Monday we are going to His mom's for probably two to three hours. But tomorrow? That's our day. We're just going to relax, hopefully sleep in, and have a good time.

Master and I haven't had a lot of time together this week. Well, not quality time anyway. And a lot of people may say, "Well you see each other every day, what's the big deal?"

The big deal is that I'm addicted to my Husband, and there is no option of rehab. My Husband may annoy me, or get under my skin sometimes.. as I'm sure I do to Him.. but He is the love of my life. He is the sexiest man to me, and I love Him dearly.

We always joke that this is the longest one night stand in the histories of one night stands. Why? Because that's what we were supposed to be. We were supposed to be a booty call. We hooked up, that was supposed to be it. But we ended up hanging out, falling in love rather quickly, and now we're over 6 years into it.

I also joke that if nothing else I've proved Him wrong at least once. *smirks* When we first started dating He told me He never wanted to get married again. He had been married once, and it left a bad taste in His mouth. But then I proposed to Him, and we've been married for 2 years.

I realize this post probably isn't making a lot of sense. I'm rambling. But I've been thinking about Him all day, and how much I love Him. I've also have been thinking about the past six years and all the good times we've had. And it's put me into a some what sappy mood.

And I'm looking foward to having all day with Him tomorrow, most of the day with Him on Sunday, and most of the day with Him on Monday. *bounces up and down happily*

Rush, Rush, Rush

Today was nothing but rushing. Or at least it feels that way.

Master had to get up at 5am. When that happened I woke up and switched the alarms to when I needed to get up. However, I didn't sleep that well after that because I kept having fucked up mini dreams. And of course now I can't remember what the hell those dreams were about. *sigh*

So my alarm goes off, I get out of bed, get ready for work, put the dog away, and B calls me to let me know he's here just as I'm finishing putting my shirt on.

So I hurry up to finish getting ready, and run out the door. I rush into the gas station that we stopped at, grab something to drink and bitch to myself about the long line. Then we hop back in the car, and traffic sucks. More internal bitching.

Then we get to my job, I hop out, thank him for the ride and go up to my desk. I clock in and realize it's going to be a very fucking busy day.

So I'm trying to hurry up and get my work done, having people stop at my desk, e-mail me, or call me asking for this or that to be rushed so they can have it sooner.

You see, with it being Memorial Day weekend everyone is trying to get a head start on their work for next week since it'll only be a four day work week. So all that is going on.

Master calls and He's not in the best of moods. My poor Master had a "hurry up and wait" day while I was having just a plain old "hurry the fuck up" day. He tells me to call B to see if he can give me a ride home because He had a feeling He was going to be there a while. Okay not a problem.

As soon as I get off the phone with Master, I realize I am starting my period. I bitch internally about having to stop my work to use the bathroom. Then my lunch hour rolls around. I go on lunch, and call B. He says he can give me a ride home, but would prefer me to walk to his job so we don't have to wait that extra 15 minutes to get going while he drives over to pick me up. Okay, not a problem.

So I cut my lunch short by 25 minutes and go back in. It's a damn good thing I did. It was like the work flow exploded. Even with me cutting my lunch short, I still had to ask the other clerk to help me.

Just as I'm about to start getting ready to leave, another person stops by and asks if I can do something for them like, right then. No, it can't wait until the morning. Okay. So that gets done and somehow I still get out of there on time.

Then I start hoofing it to B's job. I was hot, and tired. I got there right before B got out of work. So I hop in his truck and he drops me off at home.

Master had given me instructions to start putting out more applications for Him. So as soon as the dog is taken care of I go on the computer and do that until He gets home around 7pm or so. (I honestly don't remember what time He got home, all I know is He had at least a 12 hour day at work.) In fact when He first walked in the door I was just finishing up another job application for Him.

He then asks me to clean His knife while He takes a shower because some asshole at His job got it mucked up when they borrowed it. So I do that. We decide to be lazy and get pizza delivered for dinner.

Master's knife was clean by the time He got out of the shower. He started grumbling about how He wanted to get trash out today, but He was tired.

So without saying a word or Him telling me to do it, I put on clothes and take the trash out. The pizza shows up shortly there after. We relax a little bit and watch some stand-up comedy.

Before it's fully over I realize it's already 9pm. So I go take my shower and do my daily piercing cleaning routine. Then I asked for permission to go onto the computer. Now I'm here, doing this post and it's already 10pm.

I am trying not to annoy Master. I am trying to be a good girl, be supportive, and not bitch about my day. After all, I can do that here, on my blog. Why bother Him with it when He isn't feeling well, had a very long day at work, and has to go and do it all again tomorrow? *shrugs*

I wasn't in the heat all day. He was. I didn't have a 12 hour work day. He did.

By comparison, I have no reason to bitch. But I can here, so I do.

And I'm not bitching about the things I did once I got home. Just the fact that work kind of sucked due to the work load, and also the fact that I'm tired and sore. I'm tired because I didn't sleep well and I'm sore because I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off for most of the day.

I try to be a good slave, and a supportive wife. I hope I'm doing it well, and not annoying the fuck out of Master.

I think we're both going to need a lot of down time after tomorrow.

Master Stayed Home

Master wasn't feeling the greatest last night when we went to bed. I had a feeling He was going to stay home from work today. And I was right. I can't say that I blame Him.

This morning around 4am He woke me up just long enough to tell me that He had called into work and that He was staying home from work. I remember asking, "Will You please still pick me up from work?" and He cuddled up to me again after having me reset the alarms for the time I needed to get up and said, "Of course I'll pick up my baby."

Aww! I'm glad I remembered that, even through my half awake haze. It was so sweet.

Yes, I could have taken the car today but I didn't want to pay to park downtown and also it was to late to tell B to not bother picking me up. By late I mean I wasn't calling him at 4am and by the time it would be safe to call him he'd already be on his way here.

So I get up at 6:30am and start getting ready for work. The home phone started ringing. Master got it. Once He was off the phone He went back to bed. He told me that it was someone from His job, wondering where He was. Apparently the sick line did not pass along the message. *shakes head*

Then as I'm getting dressed His mother calls my cell phone. I let it go because I'm not about to be late for work just because she's nosy as hell.

She leaves a voice mail and I call her back once B had picked me up and we were on our way. She asked me why Master wasn't going to work. I told her that He had not been feeling well since we got home last night. No, He wasn't going to a doctor as there was no need. He was fine, He just needed rest and lots of it. So she starts her drama and says that she was worried cause He wasn't at work, blah blah, that there were a lot of things that were bothering her that morning. So I simply said, "He's fine. Don't worry. He'll be at work tomorrow, but I have to go because I'm going to work right now." I didn't want to hear her whine and stress me out. She thanked me for calling her back because she had been afraid that Master had been in an accident on the way to work or something. I told her that if He had been in an accident she would be the 2nd person to know. I, of course, being the first. She didn't seem to like that. Ya know, that I would be contacted first and all that. *shrugs*

This is one thing that I really hate about His job. Since He works with His mother's boyfriend she not only knows Master's every move at work, but she calls Master to find out her boyfriend's every move. I swear this is a dream come true for her. And if she can't get a hold of either of them, she calls me.

I flip back and forth about how I feel about her. I think she's nuts. But sometimes she can be nice, but usually when she's being nice she is buying us things. She's never been really nice as far as how she talks to us, or what she says. Material things are the nice things she does. The rest? Drama. It's like hush money so we'll listen to her bullshit.

But she is the only family Master has left, besides His daughter. So we play nice.

Me? I have more family than I know what to do with and only associate myself with my immediate family and two or three other relatives. Everyone else may as well not exist.

My extended family is mainly money hungry vultures waiting for other family members to die so they can swoop in and contest wills and take over because they have the money for the lawyers. Fuck them. And the ones that aren't money hungry? Well they consider us the black sheep of the family. Us being myself, my brother, and my mother. More so my brother and myself. Why? I honestly don't know.

For instance, my cousin is getting married next month. My mother is invited (it's her nephew) but I am not. My mom isn't planning on going because she's pissed that when I got married none of her family (father, sisters, nephews, nieces) showed up even though I invited them. But her father, sisters, etc are showing up for my cousin's wedding. Hell my maternal grandfather is driving up from Texas for this wedding. He didn't even send a card for mine. So yeah, not happy about that. But oh well, who cares. Fuck em.

Anyway, after work Master picked me up. He has to go to work really early tomorrow morning. My job was really busy today. I was swamped. But at least the day went by quickly.

Once we got home we at some dinner and Master is still just trying to relax before heading back to work tomorrow. I'm hoping it's a little slower at work tomorrow so I don't feel so rushed.

One Of Those Days

Today was one of those days where I just could not wake up fully. Master was already awake when I got up a little after 6:30am. We talked for a little while and then B picked me up and took me to work. Master called me about mid morning, and I told Him I wasn't feeling that well. I told Him I just felt drained of energy and couldn't get motivated.

So on my lunch break, I decided to go outside and walk up and down the block a few times, just to try and get my blood flowing. That seemed to help, as I felt quite a bit better once I got back inside.

Work has been hectic the past couple of days. We're busy right now, and I'm just trying to keep up with the work flow. Some how I pull it off.

Master got out of work late, so He was late picking me up. Thankfully the red lights worked in our favor, so the minute He pulled up, I was able to run to the car and hop in.

Master has sunburn. :-( He was outside 95 % of the day. He took a shower once we got home, while I ran a couple of errands.

Now we're just kind of vegetating.

He is playing a video game and I'm just kind of sitting here staring at the computer screen trying to figure out what to write.

This is one of those days where the words don't flow, and I can't think of anything to really write about except for what actually happened today. There are no deep and interesting thoughts. I guess I'm just tired, and so my brain is flipping me off and going, "You want me to think? I don't think so."

So I'll cut it here. If I think of anything later, I'll be sure to do a more in depth post.

Just Have To Get Through

We just have to get through this week, and then we get a three day weekend due to Memorial Day. Originally we thought that Master had to work that day, but apparently, his job is going to be closed as well. So yay!

This Saturday will mark 60 days at my job. My aim was to have perfect attendance. Well, I blew that today, by one minute. And it was so stupid on my part.

I was sitting at my desk at work. I had about 5 minutes left before I had to clock back in from lunch. I had to e-mail the business manager about something, so I did that. We ended up e-mailing back and forth a few times, rapid fire. Before I knew it, it was 1:31pm. I was supposed to clock in at 1:30pm. So I clocked in and cursed at myself. One minute late, is one minute late and my own fault.

I called my supervisor to let him know of my own stupidity. He told me to relax, it was fine. It does still count as a tardy, but I'm not in trouble or anything. I told Master about it when He picked me up from work and He told me it was okay. I had informed my supervisor as to what had happened, and it was only one minute. It wasn't a big thing. So I feel better after talking with Him, as I always do.

Master was at work by 6am this morning and got out at noon. However, we only had enough time to grab fast food for dinner, go home, eat it, and then Master had to go back to work. He's hoping to be home by 9pm. I'm hoping so too.

So, while Master has been at work, I have taken my shower and now I'm doing a very small load of laundry. And of course, it's still taking forever to dry because the dryer likes to eat quarters and not dry the damn clothes. *sigh*

So this weekend we're going to be a little busy. On Sunday, I'm visiting my mother. On Monday, we're going to His mother's. So Saturday hopefully will be rather quiet and uneventful. I would love just a lazy day with Master on Saturday.

I hope that Master gets home soon. I want some time with Him before I have to go to sleep. I'm greedy like that. Very, very greedy. And He likes it that way. ;-)

I'm It!

Lexi tagged me! And so did Kitten Pup! I've been tagged twice!!!

Rules:
1. Link to your original tagger and list these rules in your post
2. Share 7 facts about yourself in the post
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post, leave their names & links to their blogs
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged

Facts:

1. I love body modification. Mainly tattoos and piercings. Implants, and things of that nature don't really do anything for me. Also stretching of the piercing is not my thing. (No, I would not like a dinner plate shoved through my lower lip.. Thank you anyway.)


2. I have an astigmatism. I have to wear glasses if I'm reading or on the computer for an extended period of time.


3. I suffer from Fibromyalgia and migraine headaches. I use to be on quite a few medications for it and I was going to quite a few doctors, including a pain specialist. However, shortly after I turned 18 I stopped because none of it was really helping. All it was doing was masking the pain. Now, if it flares up or I get a migraine, I do home remedies. Also, Master gives kick ass back rubs, and if I'm a really good girl I may get a full body massage.


4. I prefer hanging out with the guys, over girls. I'm some what of a tom boy in that way, but sometimes I get kinda girly and Master has to point it out by saying, "You are such a girl." And then laugh at me when I try to deny that I am being girly at that particular point in time.


5. I am not a morning person, at all. But I still prefer working 1st shift because I like to get out of work and still have time to spend with my Husband and maybe even get some errands done. I refuse to work 3rd shift, and I absolutely hate 2nd shift because it feels like work literally takes up my entire day.


6. My parents divorced when I was 17. My mom is remarried and my dad is still with the woman he left my mother for, although they won't get married. His girlfriend has been previously married four times. Regardless, I still have a decent relationship with both parents.


7. I have one brother. I am older than him, although people never believe me when I tell them that. Why? Well ya see, I'm only 5ft1 and my brother is about 6ft. And he looks older than I do. So yeah. Also, people do not believe we are actually brother and sister because we basically look nothing alike.

As far as tagging goes. I tag anyone and everyone who reads my blog that would like to do that. I'm sure that's way more than 7 people. That is, unless my blog stats lie. *shifty eyes*

Nice & Slow

Today is going by slowly. I'm thankful for that, since it's the last day of the weekend.

Master and I got up around 8am. That is really early in the morning on a Sunday, at least to us. But we stayed up and have taken advantage of getting up so early. While Master was taking His shower, I ran out to the grocery store and picked up some sea salt (for the piercings.. it's the one thing I forgot to buy yesterday for my "piercing aftercare kit") and cookies, because I promised Master cookies.

When I got home we cleaned the rabbit cages, I did His laundry, and we watched a movie.

I talked to my mom for a while. And then my mother-in-law's boyfriend called to remind Master what time they needed to be at work tomorrow. And also, to change our plans with them. You see, we were going to go over to their place this upcoming Sunday, to have dinner and meet his daughter. Well, as usual, something changed and they decided to just switch it to Memorial Day itself.

This sucks, because I had already made plans with my mother. But, because I don't want to shove everyone in on one day, and also because we haven't seen Master's mother in about a month and a half and I don't wanna hear it (from His mother, not Master).. we're going.

So I'm going to talk to my mother and try to change my plans with her to this upcoming Saturday or Sunday. Yes, we could go to my mother-in-law's and then my mom's.. but if we do that, once we get to my mom's Master won't want to stay long cause He'll be annoyed by His mother.. and we already cut our last visit short. So fuck it, I'll just switch the days.

We watched another movie after my shower.

Once my shower was done, I did my sea salt soak and then cleaned the piercings with saline solution.

Oddly enough, they don't hurt at all. I mean they are a little tender to the touch, but other than that I feel great. Last night I slept in a bra and a thong, just so the jewelry wouldn't some how get snagged by sheets or blankets. We roll around a lot in our sleep. So I'll do that for the majority of the healing process.

But what is a little change in our routines for now? As long as I take care of them, and there are no complications, I'll always have the piercings. So rock on.

I've actually already started looking into other jewelry for the piercings, for when I can change them out. I know that is a ways off, but still. I'm obsessive like that.

At one point today, I was kneeling at Master's feet and He traced His finger in between my tits, and said, "I'm not making any promises, but if you keep up your good behavior soon you'll have a collar and cuff to match your piercings." *beams*

I'm still not trying to guess what "soon" means. Soon could mean next week, in a month, in a few months, etc.. So I'm going to focus on Him and doing what I'm told, not on my collar and cuffs.

I think this is a good lesson. Focus on the relationship itself, with the dynamic that we have, not the symbols that represent it.

Tool Kick

I am on a Tool kick right now. Why? Well, our entire relationship, I have always liked Tool. But I never listened to them unless I was in the car, alone, and they were on the radio.

The reason for that is because I thought, for whatever reason, that Master didn't like them. Well the other day, on the way home from work, Tool came on the radio and I was about to internally sigh waiting for Master to change the channel, but He didn't. In fact He started singing along. And I was shocked. Come to find out, He actually likes Tool! Six years later I learn this. *shakes head*

So here are some Tool songs that I felt like tossing up.

First, "Stinkfist".



Secondly, "Prison Sex"

I'm Shiny!

Master woke me up around 10am so He could fuck me. It was somewhat of a quickie, but damn was it good.

Then we went into the living room and woke up a little bit. I then took a bath and after that, Master took His shower. After that we got ready and headed out the door.

I decided to wear a tank top and a skirt, just so it would be easier. We stopped at the gas station and then realized I had forgotten the directions. So we swung back to the apartment, I ran in and got them and then we were on our way.

The piercing parlor was pretty easy to find. There was about a half hour wait, so Master went and sat in the car while I stayed put. He told me to call Him when I was ready to get stabbed.

So I waited, and then when it was my turn I called Him on His cell, and He said to just go ahead and get it done and then come out to the car. I was a bit shocked by this because this entire time He was saying how He wanted to be in the room with me. And He's always been in the room when I've gotten tattoos or piercings before.

So I go into the room and the piercer asks if it would be okay to do the nipples first. I said sure, that wasn't a problem. So I hop onto the chair/bed thing and pull my tank top down.

She cleans my right nipple first, and then puts a dot on each side. She has me make sure it looks straight, and then has me lay back. She takes the clip (that's what I call it, the thing to make sure everything lines up and that it doesn't move) and puts it on me, then has me take a deep breath, a quick stab of pain and the needle is all the way through. She then puts the barbell through and asks if I'm okay. I tell her I'm fine and thank her for asking.

She moves to the left side and repeats the same process. As far as pain goes, it was basically like Master biting my nipple with His K-9s really hard. It really wasn't that bad.

She then puts gauze over my nipples in case I bleed at all, and I pull my tank top back on. We now move on to the VCH.

I hop off the table, and take my thong off. She puts something down on the chair/bed and I hop back up. She has me lay down and I spread my legs. She cleans the area and puts the dot there. I told her that I would trust her judgment on this one. She smiled at me, and said she was sure it was going to look beautiful.

She takes the receiving tube and puts it into place, that felt really weird. Then before she grabs the needle she said, "Whatever you do, don't close your legs." I almost giggled at that.

So I promised my legs would stay open. She took the needle, told me to inhale, and shoves. I arched my back just a little bit, but not because it hurt. It was more of a "WTF" sensation. Once she's done I sit up and take a look. Awesome!

I hop off the table, and she starts cleaning the workstation. I grab my purse and give her a nice tip, because she did a rocking job. I put my thong back on, grab the after care instructions, and thanked her.

I got to the car and Master asked how I was. I told Him I was hungry, so we went out to dinner. After that we went to Walgreens and I picked up the things I would need for cleaning the piercings. When we got home, I took off my tank top, and then the gauze. Master's first words were, "That's hot." *giggles*

Then I took off my skirt and thong. Master said, "I can't see it!"

So I walked up to Him and spread my pussy lips a little. He licked His lips, so I'm taking that as a "Damn that looks good."

So, it was a great experience and I'm really glad I got it done.

The jewelry is the surgical stainless steel, implant grade. So I shouldn't have any problems with them at all.

CarrieAnn already asked for pics, so maybe Master will do them tonight or tomorrow. :-D

Thank Gods It's Payday

It's Friday, and it just so happens to be the Friday where we get paid. Whoo-hoo! We were able to put a little more money into the car fund, set aside half of our rent for June, and also pay the rest of our bills for the month, while still having money left over. That kicks ass.

Master had a half day today, so He was happy. I got out at my usual time, although today ticked by ever so slowly while I was at work. I asked Master if once we get a 2nd car if I can switch to a half day program. He said yes, so that rocks. Basically what a half day program is, is where you put more time in during the week, but every other Friday you get to leave at noon. That would kick ass.

Master picked me up from work, and from there we went straight down to my father's. We hung out, watched Fritz the Cat (that movie is fucked up) and had a good time. After that, we went out to dinner like we normally do on Fridays and now we're home and it's damn near midnight.

Master got my back to crack like.. all over the damn place. It felt so good.

I don't really have a lot to say today. I'm a bit tired. We've both been up since 6:30am and although Master seems pretty much wide awake, I'm dragging tail a little bit.

I'm still debating as to whether or not I want to keep up with the arcylic nails. They look really nice, and they don't get in the way.. I'm just not sure I want that extra expense right now. Ya know? *shrugs* I can make that decision later.

Master and I are doing fine. We're looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend together.

Hectic Day

Today was a hectic day at work. The applications I use went down again today for a good hour and a half. So that meant I couldn't really get anything done, which also means I had a hell of a lot to catch up on.

Also I had a meeting to go to today, and the supervisor was 20 minutes late because she was stuck on a call. So that made me get behind even more.

So, to remedy the situation I cut my lunch break short and cranked out my work load. I got caught up pretty quickly, because you know.. I rock and what not. ;-)

Master actually got out of work at a half way decent time, for that job, today. But He isn't feeling the greatest. He's been getting up at the ass crack of dawn and then working 10 plus hours. So needless to say I have a tired Yote on my hands when we both get home.

Today when I got out of work, instead of sitting in the car like usual, Master was standing outside, leaning against the building. I was so happy! I walked up to Him and got a big hug right away. Then He put His arm around me as we walked across the street to the car. I loved it! It was a very nice surprise. (I not so secretly hope He does that more often.)

I really need to get a frame so I can put up a picture of us at work. It'll have to be our wedding picture because the only other "work safe" picture we have of us was taken by His mother and we look really goofy in it.

We need new pictures of us. *nods* Maybe professional ones. That would be nice.

Master told me last night that He wants to start looking for a new job. So tonight I created a profile for Him on a job seeking website and put in His resume to a few places. I'm helpful like that, ya know.

In case anyone is wondering about His head/nose, He's fine. No dizziness or anything like that. Just some skin missing. (NASA Yote! *dun dun dun*)

This evening has been rather quiet. We've just been relaxing.

I'm just glad that tomorrow is payday. Whoo hoo! Money! *giggles*

Which means I get to pay the last 2 bills for the month. Joy and rapture.

Tomorrow, after work, we are going down to visit my father. Thankfully if we stay late, it won't be a big deal because we can sleep in on Saturday. I much prefer going there on Fridays or Saturdays. Any other time, and we end up staying late and kicking ourselves for it the next morning when we attempt to roll out of bed at 6:30am.

I'm also hoping my paycheck is big enough so I can go get stabbed at the tattoo/piercing parlor Saturday. That would be awesome. And painful. Which is also awesome.

And then, on Monday.. I'll be walking around my job going, "Wow this feels weird." .. and .. "I hope no one can tell that I have pieces of metal shoved through my nipples," .. Why? Because it's a very um, yuppie.. enviroment and those are questions I don't really feel like fielding only 45 days into a job.

That would be funny though. Some one walks up, "WTF is wrong with your nipples?! Quick this woman has a growth! She needs a doctor!"

Although, I'm getting barbells, so it probably won't be so bad. The last time I had my nipples pierced, I had hoops. They were very noticable depending on the shirt I was wearing.

Master is Indestructible

Master had to go into work at 6am today. I got up shortly after He left and got ready for work as well.

Work today was a little hectic at first. The applications that I use went down not once, but twice this morning. And the 2nd time it happened it was down for a little over an hour, which mean I had fuck all to do. Oh well. I caught up. No biggie.

However, apparently Master is indestructible. He works with huge hoses and heavy machienery at work. Today, Master and two coworkers of His went out to a job site. While they were pulling hose from one place to another, the end of the hose, which has a metal cuff on it, bitchslapped Master. Right in the face!

Actually it hit the bridge of His nose and slid down. I guess He was just pouring blood out of His nose for a while. Everyone thought He had broke His nose. But nope. Not Master. He's never broken a bone or any cartiledge. (Which is amazing given some of His jobs, car accidents, and various shit He's been through.) In fact they told Him to go sit down for a while. He did. For about 5 minutes, and then He went right back to work. He's crazy, ya know.

He called me to tell me what had happened and to let me know He's okay. I asked if He was going home or staying at work. He said He was going to stay at work because He felt fine. I went into like ulta protective/worried mode and started asking if He was dizzy, what color the blood was, if He thought He needed to see a doctor, etc.

He reassured me that He was fine.

So today when He picked me up from work, He had already been able to take a quick shower, so He had cleaned Himself up.. and it doesn't really look that bad. He's missing some skin on His nose, and then just between His eyes He's missing a few layers of skin.. but other than that He's a-okay.

It's getting closer to the weekend. And Friday we get paid. Hopefully, after bills and what not we'll have enough left over to be able to go ahead and get those piercings done on Saturday. I hope, I hope, I hope!

I'm excited and yet nervous about that. It's been a while since I'd had a piercing done. I'd say about 4 1/2 years ago is the last time I had a piercing done. (The ears don't count.)

But I'm also trying not to get to excited just in case we can't afford it this pay period.

Long Tuesday

It seems I can't come up with original and/or witty titles lately. I don't know why. Forgive me.

Today Master got up and went to work. He got a phone call from one of His supervisors at 4:18pm, last night, telling Him to be at work by 7am this morning. So He did. He called me a little after 7am, before I had left for work, telling me He was the only one in the shop and all the truck and equipment were there. (He was supposed to be relieving another crew at a job site.)

So finally around 8am all the others show up and Master's all like "What the fuck?!" It turns out the job was canceled and everyone knew but Him. He asked why no one had called, cause they had called the guy who was supposed to go with Him, and you know what their retarded ass answer was?

"We don't have your number."

Let that soak in a minute.

They claim they don't have His phone number. First, you have to put that on a job application and normally have that on file for all of your employees. Second, one of the supervisors had just called Him yesterday afternoon. Also I've talked to a few of His coworkers on the house phone. On top of that one of the guys is His mother's boyfriend. The fuck they don't have His phone number.

So then an 8 hour day would have been done at 2:30pm. Master was there 10 1/2 hours, even though they aren't supposed to have any overtime.

So B had to come pick me up from work because Master had no idea what time He was getting out. You can read more about this at Master's blog.

My day at work? Well, I had some training today, and the rest was business as usual.

Once I got home, Master was already here. He sent me out to run an errand and when I got back we had dinner and watched a movie.

The last couple of days Master hasn't been in a very good mood, which is completely understandable considering what His job is pulling. So each night I've asked Him if I should beg and He has told me no. There was a time where I would have taken that as I did something wrong, or I would have freaked out because that's what I'm "supposed" to do.

But not since this last bout of "What are we doing here?".

Now, I know He is just stressed out due to work and He needs to decompress and just enjoy an evening with me. As far as what I am "supposed" to do... I'm supposed to make His life easier and follow His lead. So I am. I'm asking, so I don't get in trouble for not brining it up and then Him thinking I forgot about it. I opened my mouth and just flat out asked, which is all He's ever really wanted me to do. And when He said, "No not right now," I let it go and kissed Him. I'm happy and content knowing that I am doing what He wants, not what is supposed to happen.

Us? We're doing great. His job is kicking His tail. I'm just trying to be supportive and good company for Him.

Compromise

Work is going well for me. Not so much for Master, because His job is run by a bunch of fucking morons.

Speaking of work, I don't know if I mentioned this in a previous post, and I'm to lazy to go back and look right now, but we had been talking about moving because my job is moving to a different city. It still won't be that long of a commute. I've done worse, that's for sure. But the fact remains that they are moving by the end of this year.

When I first brought up moving out there, I was so excited. But Master seemed rather "eh" about the subject. And it came across in His voice and movements whenever He would talk about it. He would never say "No we're not doing this," but you could tell He wasn't thrilled with the idea. His thing has always been that He doesn't want to move from one apartment to another. He wants to wait to move until we can afford to buy, or find a really good rent to own type thing.

But He was going to go along with it.

But today something hit me. Why was He going along with it? I'm assuming it was to make me happy. Or it was so I wouldn't throw a bitch fit, I'm not sure. Maybe both.

But I don't want Him to move just to shut me up, or to make me happy. I want Him to move because He thinks it's a good idea. Because I don't want to go out there and then something go wrong and then it's my fault, or He's miserable or something along those lines.

So we talked after dinner today about it. He said He would rather save up for the 2nd car, because we're going to need it either way. And I agreed with Him.

One of the biggest reasons why I wanted to move is because Master said no replacing furniture until we move. But during our talk, I was saying how we wouldn't be able to afford to buy a place for quite some time, and that if we are going to stay here.. I want to spruce it up a bit. He agreed.

He said He realizes we're going to be here for quite some time. So the compromise is this, we're both going to save up for the 2nd car. I'll get the car we currently have, and He'll get whatever car we buy for going back and forth to work. Which ever car is in the best condition will be used for everything basically.

Also, since we are not moving I can start replacing things around the apartment, one piece at a time. This includes the computer desk, the entertainment center, and the headboard. All of these things are older than our relationship and you can tell. That and I just hate that damn headboard. *laughs* So first, is the computer desk, then the entertainment center, and the headboard is last.

Also, at some point during the summer this place is getting a huge clean out.

Some of you may be going, "Um.. you're the slave what the fuck do you mean compromises?!" ... I'm just following His path. He sometimes is kind enough to compromise with me so we can both be satisfied with the outcome. Just another reason to love Him. :-D

Weekends Are Short Lived

Weekends go by to quickly. I mean, don't get me wrong my job isn't that annoying or anything. It's just that I really enjoy the weekends because I get to spend a lot of time with Master.

Yesterday we visited my mother, but it was a short visit because Master was hungry and also because my brother was there with his 2 children and they were giving Master a headache. Hopefully next time we'll get to spend more time there.

Last night He wasn't in the best of moods because He knew He had to get up at 5am and go to work today.

So today He got up and went to work. I got up around 9am, and then just chilled in the living room until Master got home shortly after 11am rolled around.

Once He got home He took a shower, and then played His video game. We watched a movie and ate dinner. Then I ran out to the gas station, took my bath, and put on an outfit for Him. Not a lot going on.

Now? He's watching things related to His current obsession. That obsession would be Terminator Salvation.

I loved the first two Terminator movies. Didn't really care for the third one. A chick Terminator? WTF?! Bah! Terminators shouldn't have tits gods damnit! Also... Arnold was way to old to be playing a Terminator. First, Terminators shouldn't age. Secondly, Terminators should not have sagging pecs that are slowly turning into man boobs. There. I said it.

*breath*

Anyway.. Master had watched the TV show, and I ... didn't. Well I caught a few things while He was watching it but I was mostly "Eh, whatever," about it.

The newest movie? Oh yes, I'll see it. Why? Because I love to debate movies with Master... especially when we don't agree. It gets interesting. Plus I want to see if they really, really fucked it up or not. Personally? I think that after all this time they should have let the franchise alone.

But who knows. I could be surprised and end up liking it. It's possible.

I Found The Place!

Today was fun. We went down to my mother's to give her a mother's day present early. Why? Because tomorrow Master has to work (boo!) and we wanted to be able to just relax and enjoy our time together after He's done.

So after we visited with my mom, we came home and chilled. I restored the computer to it's original settings. By the way, I found out this computer is from 2004! Holy hell. That's like.. ancient.. in computer years. After that was done, which took forever I might add, I put our backed up files back in, reinstalled our preferred security center, and then downloaded Firefox (because I fucking hate IE) and then added in most of our bookmarks.

Joy. I'm hoping this buys us more time so we can save up a little and get a nice computer, instead of having to get a cheap one because we need one right now, ya know? Now, I'm not talking about saving up for like an Alien Ware or anything, even though I think I would cream myself if I had one.. *drools* Just a mid range computer.

So then I called to a few different tattoo/piercing parlors. Why? Well the one I thought I was going to was rather cheap, and when it comes to piercings.. cheap doesn't equal good. Also, I talked to the piercer on the phone and she couldn't recommend anything regarding jewelry for people with a nickel allergy. Red flag! Danger Will Robinson!

So yeah. No.

I finally found the place I'm going to. It's about a half hour drive, and they are a little pricey, but the woman knew her shit. I talked to her for about 15 minutes and she knew all about nickel allergies and I explained why I wanted titanium and she said that maybe before I was using cheap jewelry, and that is why I had so many problems. So she told me what she would recommend besides titanium, and said that unless I have a very extreme reaction to nickel, which I don't, that would work perfectly. So ta-da! I'm hoping to go next Saturday. I asked her if she would be willing to do all three piercings at one time (both nipples and the VCH) and she said yes, that wouldn't be a problem at all. I asked if I should be concerned with any thing along the lines of healing if I get all three done, and she said no unless I have a weakened immune system, which I do not. In fact I have a kick ass immune system. So rock on. Master seems pleased.

In other news, I was kneeling at Master's feet and we were nuzzling one another when I said, "I love You." And He said, "I love you too." So I was being a bit of a smart ass and said, "Promise?" and He looked at me like I had lost my damn mind and said, "Duh."

I laughed and nuzzled His legs. He said, "What do you want me to say?" So I said, "Something romantic!"

He again looks at me like I'm crazy and for whatever fucked up reason says, "Caw! Caw! Bang! Fuck, I'm dead." (Bonus points if you know what movie that is from. Remember, we quote movies all.. the.. time. It's sick really.)

And I almost fell over laughing, pointed at Him and said, "That's not romantic at all."

His reply? "So? It was funny as hell."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why He's my Husband. We both have fucked up senses of humor.

Technology Is A Pain In The Ass

It seems that we are going to have to buy a new computer soon. This one keeps locking up on us to the point where we have to shut it down manually and then wait a little while, restart it and then hope it doesn't lock again.

So today after we got home from Master picking me up from work, and going out to dinner, I backed up all of our important files. You know, like ones dealing with finances, wedding pictures, resumes, and of course.. the nude pictures of me.

We can't afford a new tower right now. So, we have to at least wait until next weekend when our paychecks hit.

Fair warning, if this computer takes a dump between now and then.. we won't have any way to do blog posts or anything of that nature. So if the blogs get quiet for a little while, that's why.

I plan on wiping the computer tomorrow and then reformatting it, just to try and buy us some time. Whether that works or not.. I have no idea. Hell, it may make the computer die for all I know. But it's an old computer. Almost as old as our relationship. (It's probably about 5 years old.) It's amazing how quickly these things become obsolete. And yet, it's a love/hate relationship. Technology pisses me off, but I'm addicted to it at the same time.

As far as the piercings go.. I've decided to go with the titanium jewelry. I called the place I think I'll be going to, and they have it. It costs a little bit more, but whatever.

Master said if the piercer won't do all three at once, I'm getting my nipples done first. Or maybe we'll just get the nipples done and let those heal.. and maybe go back and get the VCH at a later time. Who knows. We probably won't know for sure until we actually go there.

I'm hoping we can get it done next week, but with the expensive of the computer involved, it may be a bit longer. But Master should have some overtime on this upcoming check... bah.. I don't know. We'll figure it out next week. :-)

I Wanna Be Stabbed Three Times

No seriously. I do. But not in the way you think.

First, some background. I used to have my nipples pierced. However, one of them got infected and I freaked and took them out. I think it was the wrong kind of jewelry. You see, I have a nickel allergy and I fucking hate it with a passion. I think my body was rejecting the piercings because of what the jewelry was made of or some shit. I don't know. This was over four years ago.

So anyway, I've always liked the idea of a vertical clit hood piercing. So on the ride to work today B was talking about flogging, and for some fucking reason that triggered my thoughts on the piercings. So I said it, and B was like, "Um.. and what does Coyote think about it?" and I said that He loved the nipple piercings, but as far as a vertical clit hood piercing I have no idea. So I vowed to talk to Master about it.

B then asked how I felt about labia piercings and I told him that they look fine on some people but I ssooo do not want any. No thank you.

So anyway, B had to go to work early so I was at work by 7am. I decided to actually clock in at 7:30am. Yay! An extra half hour on the paycheck.

Master called me a little after 9am and I asked Him if I could call Him on my lunch break. He said that wouldn't work cause His lunch was at noon and mine is at 12:30pm, so He'd already be back at work. So I asked Him if I took my lunch early, if we could talk. He said yes, and then asked what I wanted to talk about. I couldn't say it, cause I was on the work phone.. so He asked for generic subject. I told Him "Piercings." He said, "Top or bottom?"

I responded with, "Bottom." To which I got a surprised, "Really?!"

That was that. So I asked my supervisor if I could talk my lunch a half hour early, and he said yes. So I'm giddy the entire time. I literally was sitting there trying not to apply unneeded pressure on my clit, cause suddenly I was horny. Why? I guess cause of the upcoming conversation.

Noon finally rolls around and Master calls my cell. I pick up only long enough to tell Him I'll call Him back in a few minutes. (I had to get away from my desk. I can't be on my cell on the floor.)

So I get outside and call Him back. He doesn't sound like He's in a great mood. But He asks me what brought this up. I said I had been reading quite a few blogs lately that mentioned piercings and the thought just popped into my head, so I said, "Why not?"

To which He responded, "Because I won't let you."

I literally stopped in my tracks. Not because of what He said, but because He sounded pissed. So I quickly grew very docile as He went through the reasons as to why not, only answering with "Yes Sir." . 1) Some stranger touching me down there, 2) Healing time and having to go easy on me during that time. I think there were a couple of others but I don't remember.

He then asked if there was anything else, so I said, "No Sir." And He said that He was going to get back to His lunch then. We had spent maybe 5 minutes on the phone. The giddiness washed out of me rather quickly. He had said He wasn't mad at me, that He was just having a bad day, but for some reason I thought He had reacted that way because I had brought the subject up.

When He picked me up from work He apologized for how He had reacted. He assured me that it honestly had nothing to do with me. He had been having a bad day at work, and He took it out on me without meaning to.

So we approached the subject again. He brought up the whole stranger touching me thing, and I said that I wanted a female piercer anyway. He said that would be preferred. As far as "going easy on me" I said we could still have vaginal sex, we'd just have to be careful that my clit wasn't rubbed to much.. (basically me on all fours, that kind of stuff..) He brought up my nickel allergy and I said I'd make sure I got hypoallergenic jewelry.

So basically at the end of the conversation He said that fine, I could get the clit hood piercing done.. however I also had to get my nipple piercings redone at the same time. Three piercings, one sitting. I asked if He missed the nipple piercings or something and He said that yes He did.

So there we have it. Master said I may find a place I want to go to, get it priced out, make sure I get a female piercer and then we'll make an appointment.

So yes, I want to be stabbed three times by needles and then have pretty shiny things shoved into my sensitive flesh. *shivers* Sounds delicious doesn't it? Oh! And I want barbells. Not hoops. I had hoops the last time I got my nipples pierced and I think that was part of the problem, they kept getting snagged on my clothing. That probably did not help the whole getting infected thing.

So.. anyone have any suggestions and/or advise?

How about recommendations on places to go? We live in the Milwaukee area.

It's Only Wednesday

It's only Wednesday! It feels like it should be Friday already.

It's not my job. I really like my job. But it just feels like this week is dragging. I think Master pulling that 19 hour day is what threw it.

Today I went to work and Master went to His job. I felt sleepy all day, and for some odd reason the heat kicked on in the building, so for about three hours I was roasting. (I sit next to one of the heat vents.)

Master called me to let me know He was getting out of work late and had me call B to see if he could pick me up. Well B could, but he had no idea what time he was getting out of work. So I called Master back and He said to forget it, that He would pick me up.

So Master picks me up from work and we go home for about 30 minutes. Just long enough for Sir to take a shower and then get dressed. After that we headed right back out the door. We had plans to go visit my dad, so we did.

It was okay. Nothing spectacular. We sat around, talked, joked, and watched TV.

We left there around 9pm. Once we got home I tossed a pizza into the oven and now Master is unwinding by killing things on His Xbox 360.

He has to start work at 7am tomorrow. And there was a voicemail from B letting me know he would have to pick me up around 6:30am because he has to be at work early as well.

So I'll be sitting at work for a little while before I actually start. Thankfully it's nothing like when I was at my last job. I would get dropped off at 7am and not be able to clock in until 10:30am. That sucked.

I don't really have a lot to say right now. I hope tomorrow and Friday goes by quickly.

Tuesday Blues

Today dragged. Badly. It feels like it should be Thursday already, and yet it is only Tuesday. And so I have a touch of the Tuesday Blues. (I know that's normally Monday Blues, but whatever.)

Last night around 11pm I had just gotten the dog back inside and put the bunnies to bed, when Master called again. He said that He had absolutely no idea when He was going to be home, but He wanted to say He loves me and to say goodnight. I love that about Him. He was stressed out, tired, and just wanted to come home.. but He called to say goodnight and to say that He loves me.

We always say "I love you," right before we go to sleep.

He told me to try and get some sleep. So after I got off the phone with Him I went to bed.

I didn't sleep very well. It was one of those sleeps where you are partially awake because you're anticipating something. It was a very restless sleep. I kept waking up, fully, thinking I heard His keys in the door. That was never the case however. And the dog kept barking, I'm assuming because he thought he heard Master coming through the door as well. We both missed Him a lot.

Plus, when you get so used to sleeping next to someone all the time, you don't sleep as well when they aren't there. I remember at one point I woke up because I had turned over and my arm had landed on His side of the bed, rather than Him. That startled me awake.

My alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, and still my Master was not home from work. I got up and got ready for my job, hoping that I'd see Him before B showed up to take me to work.

I got my wish. Master called a little before 7am to say He was almost home, finally. I was worried that B would call to say he was here, before Master walked in the door. But thankfully, that didn't happen.

Master walked in and I got a hug and a kiss from Him. I smiled the minute I saw Him walk in the door. I only got five minutes with Him before B did call, and I had to leave. But at least I got those five minutes.

Master had pulled a 19 hour day, so He went to bed shortly after I left.

And I think that is why today dragged. I just wanted to go home and be with my Husband. Before those five minutes this morning, I hadn't seen Him since 7am Monday morning. And even then, He was sleeping because He wasn't going to work until noon. That really messed with me.

But eventually 4:30pm rolled around and just as I walked to the corner outside my job, Master pulled up in the car. I hopped in and was so happy to see Him!

We talked the entire drive. Normally we'll talk for a little bit, and then eventually just enjoy the ride with one another and Master will turn on the CD player. But this time, we just wanted to catch up.

We went to the bank and opened up a savings account. We are officially saving up to move now. I am still not bringing it up (I'm not allowed to until June), just simply stating what Master had said once we opened it. He then told me that after the move, we'll use this savings account to save up to buy a car. This is honestly, the first time since we've been together that we've had a savings account. It feels good. We have goals, and we're moving toward them. It also feels good to know that we can set a little something aside.

Can I just say I love our bank? Love them! Very friendly people and perfect customer service.

So yes, we vent about His job and His crazy ass hours. But at least His has a job. At least we're both working, and able to set goals and move toward them, slowly but surely. And I know, once He feels it's time, we'll find Him a different job with more stable hours.

After we got home we ate dinner and watched a movie. We've been watching things we never would have picked out at the video store. Why? Because it doesn't matter. We're using Netflix. Which means that we're not wasting gas money, and we aren't worried about whether or not it's worth the rental fee. Now? We pay a flat fee per month, and we can pick out whatever they have available. And honestly, because of that, we're finding quite a few movies we enjoy that we would have missed out on otherwise. So yeah, there is my praise for Netflix. (That and getting DVDs delivered on top of being able to stream movies from their website to Master's XBOX 360. Rocking!)

Now, Master is playing a video game and told me to either go do my post (which I am, obviously) or take my bath. So now I'll have to go take my bath.

Update On Previous Post

Master just called again. He does have to go to that second job. They probably won't be back from the first one until about 11pm or midnight. From there they have to go back to the shop, change gear and trucks, then head off to the other job site. He probably won't be getting out of there until about 4am. Then He has to go back to the shop, get changed, and come home.

It is tempting to stay up and wait for Him. But I know He would not be pleased if I did that. I mean He would be happy to see me, but He'd be upset that I didn't get any rest and then I'd have to go into work. (My goal for the moment, work wise, is to have perfect attendance for my 90 days. So far so good, and it's only a few weeks until the 60 day mark.)

I miss Him. He called me again after He initially let me know what was going on to ask why I sounded so down. I told Him it was just because I miss Him. He says He misses me too but there isn't much He can do about it.

I told Him that I knew that, and that I understood. I am by no means mad at Him. This job of His sucks in the fact that there is no schedule and they can work you up to 16 hours a day.

He needs a normal job. One with set hours, preferably first shift. But right now He needs time under His belt at a job to build His work history. And so He stays, for now.

It sucks though, because everyone else at His job, including His mother's boyfriend, doesn't like their home life or just plain doesn't have one. So they don't mind working all of these hours. Why? Because they either have nothing to go home to, or they just don't want to go home.

In fact the person pulling this shift with Him is His mother's boyfriend, K. He isn't upset about it. I know my mother-in-law is, and I know she'll ride his ass for having to work so late. I swear whenever K has to work long hours she thinks he's out there cheating on her. Why do I think this? Because if Master isn't on the job with K, she'll call and ask questions about what He's heard around the shop or whether He's seen the schedule to see if K is actually working. Why the fuck these two are together is beyond me. They've been together for less than 2 years and already there is no trust, what so fucking ever.

Her and I have talked about this before. She hates the fact that her boyfriend can get called in on a moment's notice and that he seems to lolligag around to get in extra hours and what not.

Master doesn't lolligag. He goes in, He gets His shit done, and He gets the hell out of there. But things can happen that He has no control over, like today. But rather than chew Him out, like my mother-in-law does to K, I am supportive. He is trying to provide for His family. Myself, our dog, and our rabbits. He can't help when His job decides He is going to work. I sympathize with Him. I tell Him I miss Him, but I don't try to make Him feel guilty about it.

I try to make sure that things are done around here, so that when He gets home He doesn't have to worry about it. I also try a little bit harder to look nice for Him when I know He is on His way home after a really long, hard day at work.

What does my mother-in-law do? She bitches, threatens to pack K's shit, things of that nature. And she wonders why she has been married and divorced three times. Fucking hell.

I don't know why this is partial rant about my mother-in-law. I think it's because her boyfriend, and my Husband are in the same boat, and we handle it so damn differently. I mean, why would K want to come home if all he's gonna do is catch hell for making a paycheck? My Husband likes coming home. He may not be in the best of moods, but He's happy to be home.

She asked me how I handle it once. So I told her that I just tell Him I miss Him and can't wait to see Him. Then, once He is home, I try to make sure we can relax and enjoy our time together. She looked at me like I was from Mars, and got that "Oh little girl, you just don't know what you're doing yet," look to her and changed subjects.

He vents, and I let Him vent. I tell Him I understand. Because I do understand. I know He is just trying to make some cash so we can pay the bills, feed ourselves, and maybe even splurge a little here and there. Just like what I do when I go to work. Only His job is a lot less structured, and a lot more stressful.

I may be upset when His job pulls this shit, but that doesn't mean I have to take it out on Him and make Him feel like shit for trying to keep His job so we have two incomes coming into the den. I mean, that only makes sense to me. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I have to much common sense. Oh wait. That's not a problem. Not having any is a problem.

And holy shit do we know a lot of people who seem to lack common sense. Family and friends alike.

*deep breath*

Right now I'm making a pizza. I know if I don't eat more than chips tonight Master will have my tail, and not in a way I like. So ... I'm eating. I don't really feel like eating to be honest. But I'm going to, as soon as the pizza is done.

We usually go to bed around 11pm. So I'm going to do my best to stick to that schedule. I know I won't be able to fall asleep right away, but at least I can try. And if He calls, wonderful! I plan on keeping the phone next to me on the headboard. Just in case.

Feeling A Little Lost

This post may make me sound pathetic, but that's okay.

I got up this morning at 6:30am and reset the alarms for Master. He didn't have to be to work until noon because He was going to a job that is 2 hours away and was later in the evening. I knew all this, and was prepared for it. I figured He'd be home between 9pm and 10pm.

B picked me up and took me to work. Shortly after 9am Master called me to let me know that He was up and to talk for a few minutes.

He called me again a little later in the day to let me know that He now has no idea what time He'll be home. Apparently, something came up that might need to be done immediatley after the job that is 2 hours away. So He may not be home at all tonight.

B picked me up from work and took me home. By the time I got in the door and took care of the dog, Master called to say He was on His way to the job. He said He still didn't have an answer about whether or not He was going to the another job immediatley after this one or not. This bites.

I miss Him. We had an incredible weekend together, but I miss Him right now. And I feel a little lost. Normally when I get home from work, Master is there (or is there shortly after I am) and I do my begging, and do things for Him, we have dinner. Etc.

I feel a little lost because He isn't here and I have no orders. I know I have to do my blog post, and that I am supposed to eat dinner. But beyond that.. *shrugs*

I know He has no control over His work schedule. So it's not like I'm mad or upset with Him or anything along those lines. I'm just feeling a bit bummed I guess. Maybe it's just because we had an incredible weekend and now we're back to the hum-drum every day life. I dunno.

Blah.

He said He'll call me later on tonight to let me know where things are at. So at least I know I'll get to talk to Him again soon.

Well Used Slut

Today was fan-fucking-tastic! Emphasis on the fucking part.

I got up around 10:30am. Master was already awake. We relaxed for a bit in the living room and then I begged. After He fingered me for a little while, He slapped my ass which is my queue that it is okay to stop begging. I knelt up and rested my back against Him and smiled as He stroked my hair.

He told me I could relax on my slave mat for a little bit, and He went on the computer. Once He was done He stood next to my slave mat, wrapped my hair around His hand and led me to the bedroom, crawling along side of Him.

After He put me on the bed He had me suck His dick for a little while. After I was done I laid next to Him, on my side. We were facing each other and were kissing. Some how, our height difference aside, Master found a way to enter me this way. I wrapped my leg over His hip and He pushed in. It felt amazing!

Eventually He moved me onto my back. From there it gets a little hazy as far as what positions we were in. However He did order me to cum, over and over again. The entire time He was talking dirty to me. I love it when He does that.

And His goal was to basically fuck me until it hurt. And by Gods did He accomplish that goal. It had already been over an hour by the time He put me on my side facing away from Him, and He was on His side. I was for His use only at this point. I was no longer allowed to cum. I was sore, very tender. Every push of His hips made me wince. But I loved every second of it. After He filled me with His cum we cuddled and He kept His cock inside of me. He commented on how He could feel my heart beating.. and how hot my pussy was. I bucked my hips ever so gently and He responded by pushing forward with His hips.

He had never pulled out and already He was hard again, taking me once more. I was still not allowed to cum, but it was incredible. This time He put me on my stomach and told me I wasn't allowed to move. He had me close my legs and cross my ankles, making my already swollen pussy even tighter for Him. When He came again it was like an explosion.

I cleaned Him off, very gently.. and He dipped His fingers inside of me. He made it a point to sit up so He could watch what He was doing to me and then wiped His fingers clean all over my chest, neck, and stomach.

Once we had enough control over our legs to walk, we headed back into the living room.

From there day to day stuff took over. I did His laundry, we ate Pizza Hut for dinner, and watched a movie. I ran out to the ATM and the gas station and then took my bath. Now, I'm in an outfit for Him and we're basically just enjoying the rest of our weekend, however little of it there is left.

Clarify

A Subtle Slavegirl asked some clarifying questions from this post.

So I was reading through your wants and thinking to myself, ‘How are those different to any other relationship?’

You’ve said that you’ve felt naked without your collar and cuffs and you obviously want to identify with slavery, but do you really identify with a ‘bdsm relationship’ ??

I know that everyone has a certain take on what bdsm is and everything, and there’s no *true* definition, but when I look at you guys, I see a marriage in which the man is the head of the household (i.e. a taken in hand sort of situation- he makes the decisions, he leads and you follow) with kinky stuff to complement.

I see you both struggling to define yourselves as something you perceive yourselves to be, but really aren’t that comfortable with. Do you really need to limit yourselves in that teeny tiny box that is M/s and what you ’should’ be doing? Can’t you just be married and follow your alpha’s lead and do what comes naturally to you both?

I think the main reason I feel naked without my collar and cuff is because they hold a lot of sentimental value and they mark me. Much like my tattoo on my right arm marks me as His property.

And being His.. His wife.. His property.. His mate.. is what is most important to me. I have my wedding ring, so that symbol is there. But my symbols of being His property are not. And I am big on symbols.

I do feel we were trying to hard to fit into a little box before. For almost 6 years we did that.

But after we talked this time, after He took the collar and cuff away, it feels different. I know it has only been a week. This last conversation, where He told me this was it.. either I followed or He didn't lead anymore, happened on April 26th. So, last week Sunday.

But even though all the old rules are in place.. begging.. asking permission for everything.. blogging daily.. etc.. it all feels so different.

When I read things online, I don't try to compare myself to that any longer.. I don't worry about others going, "That's not how you're supposed to do it!" or "This isn't what M/s is!" .. Why? Because I simply don't give a fuck anymore.

I still greatly enjoy reading other blogs and I sometimes tool around on FetLife. But there is no scale to put myself up against any longer, besides what Master has set out for me.

He has decided x, y, and z is what He wants. All I have to do is follow it. He leads, I follow. It's as simple as that. And honestly, that's all He ever wanted. I was the one trying to compare and then freaking out. I think He may have done that from time to time, but I honestly don't know.

We still use the titles of Master and slave, but we don't worry about the definitions any longer. We use the titles because that is what it feels like to us. Slave, beta, property.. whatever you want to call me.. whatever definition we may fall under.. the simple fact is that I am His. He leads. I follow.

We throw kink in there.. some bondage.. pain.. control.. etc.. but what we do and don't identify with doesn't matter to me any longer. All I care about is pleasing Him and following His lead. And I'm hoping that is apparent to Him, and not just through what I type here or what I say to Him. I hope that it is clear to Him through my actions as well.

What comes natural to me is to follow His lead. What comes natural to Him is to lead. That's all I concern myself with now. Like I said it's only been a week, but I am going to just relax and go with it. What He wants, I will try my best to give Him.

We are married.. He leads.. I follow.

I think Master said it best when He said it was all getting to highschoolish.. Trying to fit in with the cool kids... me going  back and forth because I've never been one to try and fit in.. and then I would find myself trying to with the M/s or BDSM crowds.. and it didn't work.. I started worrying to much about what our titles were and what others thought that should be. And I think that's why I would freak out. I would think to myself, "Well that definition (meaning others) doesn't really fit what we do.. so why do we use it?"

It doesn't matter. We use those titles because that is what we choose to call ourselves. He calls me many things. Slave, slut, whore, bitch, baby girl, little girl, mate, love of His life... and I call Him Master, Daddy, mate, love of my life..

We call each other what we enjoy calling one another. But when you get down to it, all that matters is that we are doing our thing. Or rather.. He's doing His thing and I'm happily trotting behind Him on that path.

I appreciate your comments. They are making me think, and making me post about it. Which I think are things I need to get out, and that Master needs to read. I've always been better at writing things down than talking about it. Because when I write or type, I have the time I need to form the thoughts into the words I'm looking for, rather than when I'm talking and I have to kind of struggle with it all and hope it doesn't come out wrong.

Nice Relaxing Day

Today was nice and relaxing. We were supposed to go to the bank to open up a savings account today, but we slept in to late. We didn't get up until noon, and by the time Master was out of the shower, it was 12:30pm. The bank closes at 1pm. So Master said we would do it Monday after we get out of work.

While He was in the shower He told me that I could go relax, rather than kneeling at the bathroom door. I went into the living room for a little while just to wake up a bit and check my e-mails, but after that I knelt at the bathroom door. He seemed pleased by this.

He then had me call a couple of game stores to see if they had Wolverine Origins, the game in. We found one that did, and so we headed out the door. On the way there, we dropped off our rent check and then finally got to the game store. Master traded in some of His old games that He doesn't play anymore. So we got a $60.00 game for $27. Rock on!

We also put a down payment on the pre-order of Overlord 2  because He really wants that game. It's my birthday present to Him since it comes out a week after His birthday.

Once we got home Master started playing His new video game and said I could go get my nails done. I got a full set of white tips done. They look so pretty! I don't know why, but I always feel just a little bit sexier when I have my nails done. I think it is because my real nails don't grow very long, and if I paint them the paint chips within a day no matter what kind of nail polish I get or top coat for that matter.

Although now I have to get used to typing with long nails again. And I do a lot of typing with my job. So thankfully I have the weekend to get used to them.

When I got home from that Master and I relaxed for a little while and then decided what time we wanted to go see the new Wolverine Origins movie. Funny huh? We saw the movie and He got the game all in one day.

The movie was pretty good. Of course Master kept telling me how the story is "supposed" to go, per the comic books when He was growing up. He does that with anything that is based on a comic book that He's read though. So it's not really anything new. And sometimes I pick on Him about it. *giggles*(And as I'm typing this He is playing the video game, and again.. pointing out the differences.. apparently to the TV set..Interesting timing on that.)

When the movie was done we went out to eat. Now we're home and relaxing a bit.

Master is allowing me to wear my anklets. They used to be called my slave anklets, and they'll always be that to me. But Master stated very clearly when He said I was allowed to wear them, that they were not "status symbols". I am still thankful to be allowed to wear them however.