We're Okay

Seriously. We are.

After reading Master's post we talked. After my blog post, we talked more. And the conversations we had were calm and we were very affectionate with one another.

Some of the comments that Master received on His blog seemed... what's the word... harsh?

He does realize I'm human and that I make mistakes. He does not treat me like an emotional (or physical for that matter) punching bag. Also, He does not treat me like I'm nothing but a fuck up or I'm not worth His time. I get that it may have come across that way in His post, but trust me that was not His intent. He was disappointed in me.

I'm the one who fucked up here. Yes, it is on me to do as I know I am supposed to do. I was not following the rules because I thought I was helping. Well, I wasn't. I disappointed Him. He normally doesn't say anything to see if I'm going to correct myself. He tests me. And when I don't correct myself (or explain myself as the case may be) He either says something or He posts about it and then we talk.

Part of the reason we blog is to get our thoughts down and to sift through them as we're typing. It helps make conversations (verbal) go a lot smoother, such as last night. Last night is a great example. I saw where He was coming from, He saw where I was coming from.. we talked... we solved it.. and it's done. Master has decided not to punish me. I am being given another chance to redeem myself.

And by that I do not mean He was ready to leave me over any of this or anything of that nature. I just mean that He is giving me another chance before I would be punished for my mistakes.

So no worries. We're just fine. We hit a rough patch, I was not as "helpful" as I had intended to be and I didn't say anything about it until it was to the point where He was sick of waiting for me to correct it. Again, a mistake on my part.

I'm not beating myself up about it. Last night and today Master and I have been joking around and being goofy and affectionate with one another. Master told me a long time ago that I am not allowed to "dwell" on things. Why? Because I have a history of depression and it is not a road Master wants me to go down again. There for I am to learn from my mistakes, and move past them rather quickly so that I do not have the time to dwell on it.

Last night when Master and I went to bed I had on one of my newer outfits. Master liked it a lot and showed me that by having me get on all fours to please Him. He allowed me to cum several times before filling me. Finally I was able to use my mouth on His cock. *sigh* I've missed that. Yay for the cold sores being gone!

Today however I learned something that kind of crushed my hopes of returning to college, at least for now. You see, I had been planning on waiting until my one year anniversary at my job (which will be this Spring) and then applying for tuition reimbursement. That's all well and good but then I talked to a co-worker who had actually done so. She told me that after you graduate from the college, you have to stay with the company for another year or you have to pay it all back. Um, yeah. I have no problem with that except for the fact that my job gets "fire" happy. Not that I'm a bad employee, I'm really not... but seriously they have no problem firing some of their best employees for things that can sometimes be out of our control.

So I don't want to go back to school, get my degree, and then get fired or quit because I find something else and have to pay all that money back with interest. I have enough student loans for right now, thank you.

One day I'll go back. But it definatley won't be this year, and it probably won't be in 2010 either.