I slept okay. Master's insomnia is still with Him, so He did not go to sleep with me last night. But I slept better then I usually do when He's not in bed. However, for some stupid reason when the alarm went off, I felt extremely tired. Like I barely wanted to move.
But I made myself. I sat up, and like I usually do, went to lean in and kiss Master. This time it was on His shoulder blade because He was laying on His side, facing away from me, fast asleep. As I did this it was like gravity pushed me (I still have no idea what the hell caused me to do this) and instead of kissing His shoulder blade my head like thumped against Him and I hurt my nose.
He, however, didn't even grumble. I don't think He felt it at all. So as I'm cursing softly to myself and rubbing my nose I got out of bed, opened the closet doors, and pulled out the clothes I wanted to wear to work today.
Apparently, I woke up more of a klutz then I usually am, because when I went to close the closet doors I accidentally slammed them shut. That did wake Master up a little. He grumbled, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
So I sighed, and went and finished getting ready for the day. I was not even fully awake by the time BC picked me up to take me to work. That feeling stayed with me at work. The feeling that I just could not wake up. I felt sluggish.
Work was stressful today. This week has been extremely busy at work and I think that may be part of what is causing me to be so damn tired. Add to that the fact that my fibromyalgia is deciding to flare up and say hello to me... yeah. Not a good day. For those of you who would like to know about fibromyalgia, you can see more about it here.
Finally the end of the work day came about and I hopped on a bus. Master met me at the bus stop and we walked home together, which again.. was very nice and I appreciated the company.
Once we were home I washed the dishes and Master made dinner. We watched Wolverine Origins, and then Master had me take my bath.
Once my bath was done, I put on a nightie and knelt at Master's chair. He told me to go do my post.
I'm currently reading a book called Animals by John Skipp and Craig Spector. Master has raved about it for about as long as I've known Him. We recently found the book and ordered it online. Master read it again, and it has since been sitting on our headboard. I decided to give it a try. I'm only three chapters into it, but I enjoy it so far.
Does anyone remember how I said I used to suffer from depression and every now and then I find myself having to push those familiar feelings/thoughts away?
Well in this book that I'm reading there is a paragraph that sums that feeling of fighting it off rather nicely.
I'll share it with you.
"What was even scarier, depression came on like your best drinkin' buddy and oldest, dearest friend - the only one who really knew you, would tell you the honest truth about yourself."
That is exactly how fighting depression off feels. Like you're trying to break away from an old friend who at first you think really knows you, that allows you an insight to yourself you wouldn't other wise have.. but is actually there to tear you down without you even realizing it.
Thankfully over the years, I've become familiar with what that onset feels like and I can catch it rather early on and shake it off. Master helps me with these things. He forces me to talk about it. He listens to me. He keeps me active. Things of that nature.
Without Him I don't know if I'd be able to fight that feeling as effectively as I do. At least not as consistently as I do.
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