Work "Friends"

I seem to have a different opinion on how work relationships should go. Personally, when I work somewhere, and I get along (for the most part) with someone, that's as far as it goes. I'll talk to you while I'm at work. I'll ask how things are going, and if you want to tell me things that are going on in your life, fine. If you ask me what is going on with me, I may tell you.

However, I do not take that outside of work. In other words, I do not feel the need to see you outside of work, unless it is a work function... like the volley ball game or the baseball game that Master and I went to.

One of my coworkers is getting married next week Friday. I told her congratulations and wished her luck. She is a very nice woman, and her and I get along at work just fine. I don't really know her. I mean, I know her name, I know she is getting married, and that's about as far as it goes.

Well another one of my coworkers, the one that sits right next to me, had planned a bridal shower for her and had invited me. It is this Saturday. I politely declined.

First off, I only know both of these people at work. This may sound harsh of me, but I see no reason to go to her bridal shower, and spend money I really don't have on a gift (bridal showers = gifts) for her. Secondly, I understand why she is throwing the bridal shower. She is friends with this person outside of work. Makes perfect sense.

Today the coworker who sits next to me tells me that the bridal shower is off. I asked her why, trying to be polite.. and she said because no one is showing up. You see the problem is she only invited people from work. And no one wants to go. She seemed so pissed off about this, saying how this woman is the nicest person you'll ever meet. Why can't people spend a little bit of money to give a gift for someone's big day.. blah blah blah.

I shrugged and said, "Well I guess it would depend on how long they have known the person." She replied that this woman has worked there for two years. I said, "Yes, but how many of our coworkers actually know her outside of work?"

"Two."

"Exactly."

She huffed at that. I just don't get it. Even if I did have the money, I don't know this person! I mean, yes she's nice and all that.. but I'd feel somewhat awkward about going. It's not just the financial part. I mean... I don't know her. What the hell are we gonna talk about besides her big day that is about a week away?

Also, most people don't realize that I am a very different person outside of my job. I am not politically correct. I am sarcastic as hell. I'm a slave... you know. Little details.

And they don't really need to know who I really am outside of work. What's the point? I don't connect with them on a friend level. I connect with them in a way that makes it easy to work with them. That's it.

See my view point is this. I wouldn't want my coworkers who I don't really know showing up at Master's and my anniversary party, if we were to have one. I would find it awkward and uncomfortable. I wouldn't be able to fully relax.

What are your thoughts? Should you go to a birthday party/bridal shower/baby shower of one of your coworkers even if you don't know them outside of work? Is it considered rude not to? Etc...