Distance

Master has been a bit distant lately. And by that I don't mean He isn't be affectionate with me, it's just that He seems focused on the thoughts running through His mind.

He has been thinking a lot about His family, and some of our friends. I understand this, and I also understand why He has been distant as of late.

He has also been battling insomnia for a few weeks now. He has been restless and I wish there was more I could do to help.

But all I can really do is be there when He wants to talk or just cuddle for a while. He gets like this normally when it goes from summer to fall or winter to spring. Just those two transitions. Going from spring to summer or fall to winter don't seem as bad.

But this year is worse. And I know it will pass eventually. I've gotten used to it over the years, more so after we started living together.

It can be frustrating at times because I don't know what to say or do to help. And really, there isn't much I can say or do. Like I said, all I can do is be there. I have been rather affectionate, playful, and trying to seduce Him from time to time. And He does react, it's just not in His usual way I guess. I'm not sure how to describe it.

Last night we went to bed late, and we laid there and talked. I had just got done trying to crack His back and I had to use the bathroom, so I asked permission. He granted it.

As I got off the bed, I asked if I should take my tampon out. He said, "If you're still in the mood."

I don't know what it was, I couldn't really see His face since we had the lights off. But I knew He wasn't in the mood to fool around. I said as much, and He said He was sorry. I told Him there wasn't a reason to apologize. I would rather He tell me He's not in the mood, rather then us get into it and me realize He's not fully there, if you know what I mean.

I mean I know He would enjoy it, and it would still be great sex... but I know we wouldn't connect on all the levels that we normally do when we make love. And I would feel disappointed about that, and I think He would to. So I would rather not cheat ourselves.

Once His mind calms down, and fall is in full swing things will go back to normal. Or what stands as normal for us anyway. *smirks*

And it's not just Him. I know I get that way too sometimes. Mine just seem more... random. It doesn't really happen with seasonal changes. I'm not sure what triggers mine. It just happens.

I'll be glad when fall is here. I think Master and I will both feel better.