Make It Stop

Please make the work week stop. I would like to get off this ride now. It's only Tuesday and I already feel like I'm ready to just curl up on the couch and not get up for a few hours, doing nothing at all. Absolutely nothing.

The work load is insane. And everything has different priority levels but for some fucked up reason our clients and some of my coworkers are bugging me over small shit while I'm trying to do higher priority work. It's frustrating as hell, trust me. I left work last week mostly caught up. Now? Now it's like I haven't done a damn thing at all in two weeks. I'm sore. I'm out of it. I feel the need to just be lazy and not move until it's time to go to bed. But that's not possible.

Don't get me wrong Master isn't demanding that I run circles around the apartment or anything it's just normal nightly stuff. My routine basically.

I do my post, I put an entry in my online mood tracker, do my exercises and then take my bath. After that it's time to take care of the animals. Master has the dog tonight so I just have to make sure the rabbits are all settled and say goodnight to them.

I don't think it would be good for me if I was just a lump on the couch all night though. I'd be even more sore and stiff. That's one thing that really sucks about fibromyalgia. You hurt, which makes you not want to move if it's severe enough but if  you don't you become more sore and stiff. It's a fucked up cycle.

In other news we finally have all of the papers we need in order for me to do our taxes. I'll be doing those this weekend. Yay! Taxes! *insert dripping sarcasm here*

Reward

I've been beat to hell at work. I've been slammed for at least three weeks straight. It hasn't been easy and the minute I think I'm caught up another wave comes in and I'm behind again. I don't have vacation or personal time until late March and believe me, if I had any left, I would have taken a day off by now. It's just wearing me out and wearing me down. I feel like a zombie when I get out of work. Master has even commented on the fact that I am just very quiet some nights when I get home. I even had a few hours like that during the weekend. It's like the moment I start to recover from the weary feeling it hits me again for a little while. It sucks. Majorly. This is the worst it's been since I started in this position at my job. That was over a year ago. It's about a year and a half or a little over if I remember correctly. Blah.

But today I got a small reward. Now, never mind it has nothing to do with the great job I'm doing or the fact that it wasn't by chance.

My job does a perfect attendance thing. They do it by pay period, by month and by quarter. They collect the names of the people who have had perfect attendance during said time period and then do a random drawing. If your name is chosen off that list you get a reward for your excellent attendance.

They did the past pay period and I was on that list but wasn't chosen. But since it's the end of the month they did the drawing for that too. I was on that list as well and guess what? My name was picked! I've been on that list many, many times over the past damn near three years I've worked there. My attendance pretty much rocks most of the time. I hate being late to work, I hate being late for coming back from lunch. I have called in because I either couldn't make it out there or I wasn't feeling well, but I try to make it so that it's planned ahead. As long as it's not a call in you still are counted on perfect attendance.

So anyway, I got $100. Rock the fuck on! An extra $100 in my pocket. And it came at the perfect time. It gives us some padding for the upcoming two weeks. It's always a little tight when it's time to pay rent. But that's most people, so it's not really surprising. So extra money right now is great! Master said He was proud of me. Even though it was random selection I had still earned it. So I'm happy that I got a little something extra for being an employee that tries very hard to be on time all the time.

Rode Hard And Put Away Wet

Yesterday Master really enjoyed tormenting me about not being allowed to cum. At one point He had pulled me onto His lap while He was sitting in His recliner. He forced my legs apart and fingered me while sucking on my nipple. I nuzzled the top of His head and shortly there after I was order to the bedroom. Master waited no time forcing His cock inside me. I was still sore and so I whimpered quite a bit. He seems to enjoy that. A lot. After He filled me with His cum, He had scented me and I had cleaned His cock with my mouth we went back into the living room and relaxed. Sometime after midnight He ordered me into the bedroom again and made use of me. Afterward I cuddled against Him and admitted that I was incredibly horny. He chuckled. Yes, I had already been fucked twice but without orgasm. It's not technically sexual frustration. I am getting a dick inside me and I'm being used well. But it's the most effective method of teasing I can possibly think of. Good thing women don't have a female equivalent of blue balls. *laughs*

After the second round I cleaned Him off again and we went back into the living room thinking that we would still stay up for a while. But we were both more exhausted than we initially realized. I think we were in the living room for about 15 minutes before we decided to go back to bed and actually get some sleep. Needless to say I was still wet and my pussy was swollen from the pounding Master had given me when I finally fell asleep.

Car Ride

Today Master and I went down to visit my mom. We had asked her earlier in the week if we could bring our dog. He loves going down there. He's only been there a few times but he gets excited and has fun. Plus he loves car rides and taking him down to visit was the perfect excuse for one. She said it was okay with her. They have a small dog but my mom really likes our pup, Radar. He's a lot bigger than her dog. I think her dog is maybe 15 to 20 lbs. Radar? A whopping 75 lbs. I know that sounds like a lot but he is a streamlined pup. He's just that damn big. So off to my mother's we went. We kept Radar on his leash while we were there though. We weren't sure how nervous my mother's dog would have been if Radar had free roam. But he had a good time anyway. My mom loves large dogs but she just doesn't want to have one. So she likes when we bring him down. She gets to play with a big pup but not have to deal with walking one. *laughs*

Master had allowed me to drive down there and back. I don't get to drive often unless it's just a little bit of running around. I have a ride to and from work and when Master and I are running errands normally He is the one that drives. But this time He enjoyed just playing passenger and relaxing.

While we were down at my mother's we sat around and talked. My brother stopped in for a bit as well. Radar had a blast with so many people around. My brother is like his buddy. He loves it when my brother comes over to spend the night.

Everyone complimented Radar and told us how much bigger he had gotten and joked with me about the dog taking me for a walk rather than the other way around.

The car rides to and from there on top of all of the excitement with everyone paying attention to him has knocked him out cold.

As soon as we got home and we were all settled Radar promptly jumped up onto the couch and passed the hell out. He woke up long enough to eat and then play with his treat toy for a while but now? Now he's in his dog crate sleeping. (He's not locked in there. We call it his room and he likes taking naps in there.)

So Master and I had a good time and the hyper ball of fur that is Radar is tuckered out. It's been a good Saturday.

Good Fuck Toy

I am still under punishment, obviously. It's no where near my birthday. So, that means when we fuck I don't get to have an orgasm. Last night He was making that extremely difficult on me. Because He's mean.

He went into the bedroom to "tuck me in". Well, He decided to do more than that. I knew the way that He rubbed up against me that He wanted me. I was being a good girl and cuddled up closer. Then, He had to be mean. He sucked, licked and flicked my nipples until I couldn't help but moan out load and move my hips. I told Him that He was mean too. I really did. So when He was done torturing me that way He knelt up on the bed and asked if He should be evil. That, my friends, is always a trick question. There is no winning that one. I knew what He meant and I was torn. He was going to eat me out. There wasn't a doubt in my mind. I wanted Him to, because it feels so damn amazing but I didn't want Him to because I knew I couldn't get off.

But He had me slide up on the bed and as He moved I asked how I should let Him know when I was getting close to cumming. I didn't want to get in trouble damn it. He told me to just move back a little bit and He'll know. Okay, I can handle that. Only when I tried to pull back He grabbed my hips, pulled me closer and pinned me. It was so damn difficult to hold back. He knew this and was, in fact, being evil. Eventually He pulled away though, showing some mercy.

He had me get on all fours with my ass in the air and my head on the mattress. He fucked me hard and told me how He loved using me to jerk off. He talked nasty and hot the entire time. He told me how He loved to torment me, how good I felt and it just went on from there. He knows how much that sort of thing turns me on, and even though I couldn't get off, it sent me really, really deep into my sub space. I couldn't think I couldn't do anything but moan and buck my hips.

After a while He had me place my legs straight back, underneath Him and cross my legs at the ankles and lay perfectly still while He continued to make me sore. When He came He dug His fingers into my shoulder and bucked His hips. It was delicious.

He collapsed on top of me and His sweat was dripping onto me, another thing I find very hot. Why? I'm not sure. But it does.

He hadn't even pulled out yet and already I could feel Him getting hard again. He slowly moved His hips and nuzzled the top of my head. And He immediately made use of me again. When He came the second time it was even more intense than the first time.

I was pretty out of it. So I went to sleep in a very, very docile mode. And I woke up that way as well. Still am in fact.

For Fucks Sake

If my job would figure out everything and get back to me that would be great. We just now got used to the changes that took place last month and now our clients are whining about this that and the other thing because they still haven't caught up and think we don't need the things we're asking for. So now? Now my job just got harder. Since our clients now want more "proof" of what we need and all that we have to document everything. This means everything is going to take more time and slow me down even more. It sucks. It sucks a lot. Oh, and they should really work on their motivation speeches. Meaning my job. Now my supervisor is the one who made the damn speed, obviously, but it was like he was reading a script. It wasn't the usual way to go guys or you guys are doing great.. you know, something uplifting. No, it was "And if we fuck this up we could lose 'x' client and they are one of the biggest ones we have so you can draw your own conclusions from that."

Wow. Thanks for the pep talk.

Lets scare people into doing a better job. That always works so well.

I'm not worried about my job security. But still, they had to go that route with it? Really? *shakes head*

Aside from that bullshit meeting this morning I don't have anything else really on my mind. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Practical Present

When I was growing up I used to hate, literally hate, getting practical gifts. Why the hell would I want a new backpack for school when I asked for a new bike? You know, usual kid stuff. Now? It's fucking awesome. I'll take a practical gift any day of the week.

Even though my birthday is a little over 5 weeks away, my mother brought it up today while I was talking with her on my lunch break. I'm the eldest. I'm her first baby. For some reason she focuses on my birthday far in advance. It's not that we do a lot for it anymore, because we don't. I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact. Well she was asking me what I need. Not what I want, but what do I need. Which is honestly a better question in my eyes. When you're an adult and doing your own thing sometimes a little help with the practical side of things can help a great deal and mean more than a gift card to a restaurant ya know?

Anyway, I thought about it for a little while and I still need nicer business clothing. Yes, I'm still planning on finding a different job, one that is closer to home or at least on a simple bus route.

Well, those kind of clothes aren't cheap. And when it comes to clothes I don't see the point in spending $50 on pants. That is insanely high to me. Hell, I know some jeans can cost that much too.. but either way I won't be spending that kind of money on a pair of pants.

My mother is the same way. We do our best to find the good deals on stuff that are pretty normal things. We're not looking for the best deal on a flat screen TV and then going and paying full price for the day to day shit. Fuck that. We try to save on everything. Food, clothes, household items, cleaning products, shampoo... you get the picture.

So she said that one of the times that I come down to visit before my birthday she'll take me to a few stores to buy some business clothing. And trust me, we won't be going to Kohl's or JCPenny. We'll go to outlet stores and things of that nature.

Bonus though, since I not only am getting a helping hand with the business wear but I also get a day of bumming around with my mom.

Drop

It's been a long time since I've experienced sub drop. I normally get that endorphin rush and slowly come down from that.

But last night Master made a point of using me. He tortured me a bit but I greatly enjoyed it. My nipples are extremely sensitive, more so since I've gotten them both pierced.

He sucked on them, danced His tongue across them, pinched them, basically anything you can think of involving His mouth, it happened. One thing that He loves to do every now and then is to open His mouth and take as much of my breast into it and bite down. He has a big mouth. My tits are a good size but they aren't huge. So needless to say He gets more than a mouthful. He did it to both of them. While He did this I snaked my arm underneath Him and played with His balls in such a way that my wrist was rubbing against the underside of His cock. He seemed to really enjoy that.

The sex wasn't extremely rough but it was rough enough to make me sore. He was whispering in my ear about how He wanted me to be swollen by the time He was done.

Mission accomplished.

After He had filled me with His cum I laid there on my stomach (which is how I was when He came) and He laid next to me on His side, facing me. I was fine until out of no where I felt sub drop hitting me hard.

I started sniffling as I tend to cry when I hit sub drop like that and sure as hell, it was coming. Master asked if I was okay and I told Him that it all hit me at once. To comfort me He leaned over me, holding me tight to Him while resting His head on my back. It helped a lot. I only cried for about five minutes and calmed down rather nicely.

He allowed me to stay up a bit before having me go drift off to sleep.

One thing about sub drop, for me, is that I miss Master a lot the next day. I mean, I miss Him when we're not together, but it was rather intense today.

I think Master felt it too because when I got home I've gotten a lot of hugs and kisses. When He told me to go do my blog post I walked past Him and He held out His arms. I thought He just wanted a hug but instead He turned me around and had me sit on His lap while cuddling in and nuzzling His neck. It was really nice. I still feel a bit of sub drop but it's mainly just wanting lots of cuddling and affection, which is plentiful tonight.

Wife Of The Year Award

Master woke me up this morning. I had slept in a bit longer than I had meant to, but it's Sunday, so whatever. He laid there next to me for a little while and then out of no where sucked on my nipple for a little bit and got out of bed. I giggled and shook my head. I followed Him out to the living room. Neither of us were even close to being fully awake. But I felt cuddly so I knelt in front of His chair and leaned against Him while giving Him a hug. He hugged me back and nuzzled the top of my head. Then I felt His cock growing and pulsing right between my tits. It was just how I had happened to lean against Him. It hadn't been intentional. I sat up and He was rubbing the sleep out of His eyes.

As a result I caught Him off guard by taking His cock into my mouth all the way down to the base as quick as I could. After the initial shock of that He gathered my hair and I sucked Him dry.

He gave me another hug after that and He sat there in His recliner in kind of a daze. As He is sitting there I go to check my e-mail and all that when out of nowhere Master asks me, "So why the blowjob?"

Kind of an odd question but I think He meant that He wasn't sure what had prompted it as it hadn't been an order or foreplay.  I of course have sucked His cock before without those prompts but it hasn't happened in a while without an order or as foreplay.

So I just smiled, looked at Him and said, "Because You were hard."

He started cracking up saying how that had to be the best answer ever to that question. He then said, "And the wife of the year award goes to.."

I couldn't stop laughing. So apparently, even though it's still only January and I am technically under punishment... I still won the wife of the year award. Cause I'm just that damn good. *smirks*

Problem Solving

Today was my half day at work and it was also payday. Apparently, both of these facts became very important.

About a half hour before I got out of work Master called me. He was out of breath and He sounded stressed. The first words out of His mouth? "We have a problem." Of course my first thought was that Master had gotten into a car accident. About an hour before this phone call Master had sent me a message saying that He was going to go put gas in the car and do some errands before I got home from work. Thankfully, I was wrong. It was something fixable. Master had gone down to the gas station, walked into the gas station to prepay and then put gas in the car. All of this went according to plan. Then He got into the car and went to start the car. Guess what? The car didn't start. It was the battery. Of course, no one at the gas station at jumper cables and of course neither did we. So Master talked to the manager of the gas station and told him what was going on with the car and asked if it would be okay to leave there until I got home from work.

I know our finances a lot better than Master does. It's part of my "job" if you will. I'm our accountant. And because of that when something goes wrong that is going to cost a bit more than usual He runs it by me first. It's not a lack of control on His part. It's not a play for control on my part. It's just easier for Him for me to keep track of our finances.

Thankfully the manager didn't have a problem with it, even though it was still parked at the gas pump. We go to that gas station all the time so they know us there. Master then had to walk home in the cold and snow (it got kind of nasty out there today). This is why He was out of breath when He called me. Poor Master.

I was able to get my carpool to drop me off at the gas station. I immediately went inside and told them that I was there. I was scared that they were going to tow it, even though they know us, simply because it was still at the pump. They said it was no problem. I had called around while I was at work to get prices on batteries for our car. The battery that was in the car is old, so I knew we needed a new one. I was planning on replacing it soon, just not this soon.

The cheapest (and closest) was Advanced Auto Parts. They were actually just a few blocks up the street from the gas station. Because of this they were willing to drive down to the gas station to jump start the car. Once that was done I followed the guy down to the store itself. I went in, paid for the battery and they installed it. The only thing they charged me for was the battery itself. Rock the fuck on. By the way, car batteries are not cheap... just in case you were wondering.

But we were able to pay for it comfortably enough, thankfully. So now we have a brand new battery in the car. We still got our errands done and now we're in for the night. Hell, Master didn't feel like cooking and I didn't really want a fend for ourselves type of night so we said fuck it and had pizza delivered. We're being lazy the rest of the night.

Tracking System Activated

Aside from my blog, I've been wanting to find a way to better track my moods. I mean, I know how I'm feeling and all that but sometimes, especially when I've been in manic mode for a while, the days become a blur and if you ask me how I felt two weeks ago I'll probably just stare at you blankly. When I talk to my shrink and he asks me how I've been I can give him the highlights and the dark periods but they are somewhat vague as it's normally three months in between appointments. It's not that I can't give him an overall picture, it's just that I can't give him specifics.

I also think that being able to look back on a month or longer would be extremely helpful for me. This way I can look back and maybe see what triggered something or whatever else I may need and/or want to remember.

So I did some hunting. I found one site that sounded perfect, but when I went to register it constantly told me that the username I chose was already in use. And trust me, I was picking some pretty fucked up and random user names after about the fifth attempt. Every single one was "taken". So I figured that the damn site was busted. I tried again a little while later and got the same results. So I decided to find a different one. I really wanted an online tracker. It's just easier and makes more sense to me.

Finally I stumbled upon this website. (I figured I'd provide the link in case any of you were looking into or searching for the same thing.)

I had no problem registering and so I started playing around with the website. Not only can I track my moods, but I can have reminders to enter my daily log sent to my e-mail or my cell. I picked my cell phone because sometimes I forget to check my e-mail, in which case it does me no good to send the reminder there. I also allows me to set up reminders for doctor appointments. Rock on.

I can also enter in the medications I'm on so that in the future, if I need to switch medications for whatever reason, I can see if I acted any differently on whatever medication. Hopefully that will not happen, but it's a nice little feature and best to be safe than sorry.

When I entered today's "log" it gave me choices as far as what my mood had been. And if I felt multiple things in one day I can select mixed mood selections. Very helpful. It asks if I had any anxiety or irritability. It asks how much sleep I got the night before and whether or not I took my medication. Hell, it even asks if I'm menstruating. This will come in hand when it's "that time of the month" to see if there are any noticeable changes that I may not realize without actually honing in one it. After that I can type out a little paragraph or two to describe how my day went or what my moods were exactly, etc.

In other words, so far, I think this site is pretty kick ass and will be a helpful little tool. (By the way, I'm not getting paid by the website or anything, I'm just really excited about it and I'm a nerd so it's another tech tool thing.)

After a while I'm sure I won't even need the reminder sent to my phone. It'll just become part of my nightly routine.

It's Fucking Cold

Honestly, so far this hasn't been a bad winter. *knocks on wood* It's already mid January and so far it's been cold but really not all that bad. But thanks to my fibromyalgia today my joints and muscles are feeling it.

Thankfully I have several hoodies that were Master's which He allows me to wear. I find it incredibly comfortable to wear a shirt under it, then the hoodie. Then when I go outside I put on my winter hat, pull the hood of the hoodie over it to try and protect my ears and neck. After that I pull on my leather jacket and leather gloves. It's super comfortable. I still get a bit cold but that's mainly my legs. Not much to be done there.

And I'm also glad that we have a space heater for the apartment. If we didn't I have a feeling I'd be wrapped up in a hoodie, socks and a blanket. Sometimes Master will allow me to do that at home if I'm really cold or not feeling well. But most of the time I'm supposed to be nude.

While my tattoos were healing, initially, He allowed me to protect them better by wearing sweat pants. Now that they are closer to being done healing He wants me back to nude. Of course, I'm still being careful.

My tattoos are finally starting to flake a bit. It's about damn time. Another week or so and they should be completely healed.

Tomorrow is supposed to be colder than today. We have clients coming into our office again but thankfully these particular clients don't give a fuck how we dress, as long as we get the job done. I'm glad we don't have to dress up tomorrow. My business casual clothes aren't all that warm.

At least tonight when I go to bed I'll have Master to cuddle up with and we can keep each other warm. One of the best things about winter? Extra cuddle time!

Punished

I haven't been punished in a long time. But this past weekend Master continuously asked me what was wrong. I was reserved and rather quiet. He told me several times that I looked like something was wrong. I used that word that He absolutely hates. I said, "Nothing" to His questions about what was bothering me. I didn't know what was bothering me, but as He has told me a hundred times in the past even if I don't know what is bothering me, but I know that something is I should tell Him. It helps Him keep an eye on me. He has told me many times in the past that if I'm not sure what is bothering me but something is getting to me all I have to say is that something is nagging at me but I'm not sure what yet. That is a better answer than "Nothing".

I agree with Him and I knew this but for some reason I reverted to that old standby answer. And I shouldn't have. I know I shouldn't have. I did tell Him this morning, in a note, that the fact that my birthday is around the corner had me kind of down. Not because I'll be turning 29, but because I felt like there wasn't anything special I could do for it. The stupid thing is that normally I don't care about my birthday, but for some reason this year I want to do something or get myself something, etc. But the problem is I never really want anything (unless it's a tattoo) and I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do. So that was bothering me. Never mind my birthday is 6 weeks away.

It all sounds stupid I'm sure. When I got home from work today I told Master all this and He said that we would figure something out as far as what to do for my birthday. He told me to start thinking on it and reminded me that I have plenty of time to figure it out.

However, because I didn't tell Him what was going on inside my head, after three days of answering with that damn standby answer, He wasn't going to let it slide. He needs me to tell Him these things so He can gauge where I'm at inside my head and so He knows to keep a closer eye on me so I don't spiral out of control of sink down into a hole that will take me a long time to crawl out of, like I have in the past.

Because of this my Master came up with an interesting way of punishing me for it. To both punish me, and to make me look forward to my birthday, from now until my birthday I will be in "toy mode" when we have sex. This simply means that I will not be allowed to orgasm.

A fitting punishment and definitely a way to make me look forward to my birthday.

Fuck Buddies

I know I've posted about this before, about Master and I starting off our relationship as fuck buddies. Shortly after that casual sex friendship started it seemed to speed everything up. Not in a bad way but it felt like it was a blink of an eye before we decided we wanted to be a couple. I know it wasn't literally a blink of an eye (that's impossible) but it didn't seem to take long at all. Sometimes I wonder if that actually helped our relationship/marriage; meaning the whole fuck buddy thing. We started off as just two people hanging out, joking around, not worrying about what the other thought of us because hey, it's just casual sex, who cares right? And that odd friendship has carried over into our relationship.

Even though we are in this dynamic of ours, we can still sit around in the living room, making fun of each other, joking around and just being weird/goofy as hell.

As a result a lot of people who have been over when we're in those goofy moods think we're a really weird couple. As if, no one else can joke with their significant other in the same way.

I know in my past relationships I couldn't, but I just figured that was because they had no sense of humor or at least not the same sense of humor I have. Master has stated the same about His past relationships as well.

But I know there are others liked us. My father and his last girlfriend were like that. Their downfall was basically that my dad got fed up with dealing with real world problems, as in her children. They were both full grown and yes one was a huge pain in the ass and was constantly getting in trouble but man would they get in some nasty fights over it.

That was the only other relationship, besides ours, that I have seen with my own eyes that can joke like we do. However I have read it on other blogs and it's a wonderful thing to see! Who says you can't love each other and rip on each other at the same time? It's fun damnit! Well, as long as it doesn't go too far of course, but that's common sense.

So maybe before you jump into a relationship you need to fuck the person a few times first. *winks*

Bare Neck

Master and I haven't been having sex as often as we usually do. From myself being sick to Him being sick and my fibromyalgia acting up due to the cold weather and year, not a lot of sexy thoughts going through your head, ya know?

But last night when we went to bed we changed all that. It was amazing!

And today while watching TV Master told me that after that episode I would have to start my nightly routine. (As in my blog post, bath, etc.)

Right after He said that I said, "I was going to ask if You wanted to fool around first."

He chuckled. I took that as a yes.

So off to the bedroom we went. We have to be careful on what positions we choose due to my ink still healing. But hey, nothing a little creativity can't fix.

I laid on my back with Him laying on His side facing me. One thing that He loves to do before fucking my brains out is to run His hands all over my neck, squeezing every now and then, sometimes making it so I can't breathe. He especially loves it when I make that little gasping noise once I can breathe once again. He laughs in one of the most evil ways possible. And of course, being the sick bitch that I am, makes me wet.

When He first ran the full length of my neck and there was no collar moving because of it I felt a pang of loss. It was a sharp reminder that I couldn't wear it anymore. Immediately, I felt my eyes tearing up. I don't think Master noticed this and there was no cracking in my voice when I said, "That feels really weird Master."

But I could hear the smile in His voice when He said, "It's a novelty. I haven't been able to touch your bare neck in six years."

That trace of a smile in His voice? The obvious fact that even though He loved seeing me in my collar as much as I loved wearing it He was still pleased and still saw me in the same light sexually... made me feel oh so light. That pang of loss was swept from me in that simple sentence.

He nipped at my ear as He continued to squeeze my neck and run His nail along the artery that goes along the side of my neck. After a while He told me to move.

I laid on my stomach with my pillows under me, propping up my hips. All I had to do was keep my foot flexed so my ankle didn't rub against the sheets too much and it was incredible. I was swollen from the night before so it was a bit difficult for Master to force His fat cock into me.

He loves a challenge though. He was very rough with me and allowed me to cum several times before filling me.

Afterward I cleaned Him and He scented me. We just laid next to each other. He had His arm resting comfortably on my stomach and I had my head tucked under His chin. It was just what we both needed, I think. No one said anything. No one moved. We must have been laying like that for a good 15 minutes like that.

Then He nuzzled me and started kissing me, forcing His tongue into my mouth. I arched my back and pressed against Him.

He positioned Himself between my legs once again and took me. Again He was rough. After a while He laid on His back and I sucked His cock for a little while before crawling up and riding Him (carefully mind you). He then pulled my legs up so my feet were planted on the bed and my knees were bent up. He wrapped His arms around my thighs and pulled me by them until we both came together.

Ever since that point I have been shaky. In a good way mind you, but this kind of shakiness hasn't happened after sex in quite some time. I think my nerve endings were overloaded. I'm sore, sensitive and shaking.

It's been a damn good day.

Blah And Such

Today I just couldn't seem to stay warm. It was still snowing when I went to work this morning, but thankfully it wasn't as bad as yesterday and they cleared the roads. The carpool had left earlier than usual so we got to work about a half hour early, not that I'm complaining. More time on the paycheck! Yay!

Of course work had the heat on and everything, but for whatever reason I have felt a chill all day. Not an uncomfortable one, but noticeable.  Now that I'm home I still feel it a little. Never mind the fact that I'm wearing sweat pants, socks and a hoodie. Oh, and we have the heat on as well as a small space heater since the heat here sucks ass.

This weekend is one of laziness. I'll be doing laundry tomorrow and that's all the ambition I have really. Next weekend however we are getting together with most of Master's father's side of the family. It'll be us, His father, His half-brother and His eldest half-sister. I don't know if His two younger half-sisters will be there or not. But His niece and nephew will be. His niece is turning three in a few weeks and His nephew is only two months old. It should be a lot of fun; no that's not sarcasm. The only person I'm not too thrilled about seeing is His eldest half-sister. She's a drunk and a whiner. She used to be the baby until the two younger half-sisters were born. And since there is a fourteen year age difference between her and the first born of His father's third marriage she had a lot of time to play up being the baby of the family. She's 28 and seems to have a sense of entitlement. Maybe we'll be lucky and she won't show up.

I already have my tax paperwork from my job. We're just waiting on one more thing and then I'll be filing our taxes. Oh the joy. Thankfully our taxes are simple enough to do that I do them myself. Unless someone itemizes I've never really understood the point of paying someone else to do your taxes, but that's just my opinion. I'm hoping that the other paperwork gets here soon so I can get the whole tax thing done and over with.

Ink Addict

Hello, my name is Kitten and I'm an ink addict.

I've only had this tattoo for almost a week and already I'm thinking about touching up the ink on my left leg. It needs it and it'll get done sooner or later. However, Master gets to go first. I love that I just got my ink done and Master needs the spider tattoo on His right forearm touched up. When it was done two years ago it was a little roughed up from constantly taking His winter jacket on and off. And sometimes His arm would get caught and that didn't help either. So He is getting that touched up before I get any other work done. In fact, my brother wants to come up again sometime in June so that he and Master can go get ink together. My brother already has his third one picked out and he knows that Master wants His spider touched up so he figured they could have a brother-in-law bonding experience and have some fun.

Sounds good to me! I'll drop them off and pick them up. (There is only two hour parking where the parlor is located so it's a lot easier to drop off and pick up.)

But then it shall be time to touch up my left lower leg!

I just found it amusing that I've had fresh ink for less than a week and I'm already thinking about the next time I have a tattoo gun shoving ink into my skin. But I'm also excited about Master getting His spider touched up. *smiles*

Fresh ink for everyone!

It's Only Wednesday?!

My stress levels at work are insanely high at the moment. Due to all the time off from the holidays and what not, for both our office and our clients, everyone is now trying to shove everything into the beginning of the month. Guess what? It's not going smoothly. Since Monday I've been busting my tail to catch up, let alone keep up. Everyone else is in the same boat of course. Thankfully I talked to my supervisor and asked if I could go over the three hour overtime limit that we are currently under. He said that wouldn't be a problem. I've been clocking in early, taking short lunches, etc. Although at the end of the day today, I was more caught up than I thought I would be. However, I am going to continue to take advantage of the overtime. Not only could I use some extra bucks on my paycheck, it'll help ensure that I can keep on top of my case load better and hopefully have an easier week next week.

Honestly though, it's been a hellish work week. Today in the middle of trying to keep up with my work and hearing other people bitch about their case load I was ready to scream. But since I don't want to be looked at like I'm crazy, I didn't do it.

Speaking of crazy, Master was kind enough to go out to my shrink's office and pick up my savings card for my second medication. It saves me $35 a month on my copay. I can't argue with that!

I'm glad He picked it up today though. Tomorrow they are saying 6 to 10 inches of snow and it's supposed to be kind of icy on the roads. I made sure to put gas in the car though, since it's supposed to be so cold.

I really hope that tomorrow and Friday goes better than the past three days have.

Nothing To See Here

It's that time of the day for me to do my blog post. I honestly don't know what to write about besides boring stuff.

But if you like boring stuff, please feel free to read on.

Today I had to dress business casual for work. I wore those new shoes that I bought yesterday. Let me tell you, wearing brand new heeled shoes to work really sucks ass. My feet aren't in terrible pain or anything, but it definitely was uncomfortable. Thankfully they weren't a higher heel and it's a thick heel rather than stilettos.

I wore a pair of black slacks and a white blouse with a blue sweater vest. Of course, I didn't realize until I got under the florescent lights at work that apparently the white blouse isn't completely white. It has light tan stains on it from the damn washer. I didn't notice here at home because our lights aren't that fucking bright like florescent are. Thankfully I keep a long sleeve throw sweater type thing in my desk at work. So I just tossed that on over it and it was fine. I was still pissed though.

Since it's the washer that stained the damn thing (like it has on a different formerly white shirt of mine) I just tossed the shirt. I know that sounds really wasteful, but I didn't really care for the shirt anyway. My mother-in-law had bought it for me.

Tonight I get to figure out another business casual outfit for tomorrow. After digging through my closet last night it dawned on me that since I haven't had to wear such things in two years I don't have much of them left anymore. I had given some to my mother and others didn't fit anymore, etc. So I get to start gathering those clothes again for when I need to do job interviews and of course when I switch jobs. Jeans being allowed in an office enviroment is extremely rare. The only reason the office I work in now allows it is besides other employees, no one ever sees us. So the only time we have to "dress up" is when clients come in for a visit.

Note to self: No more white shirts. It only seems to be white tops that the washer does that too. So fuck that. All the other clothes? Perfectly clean and fine. I don't know why it's just the white tops. Weird.

Not like it mattered. I hate white shirts. Like I said my mother-in-law bought them for me.

This Is Going To Be A Long Week

This is my first full week of work in about a month. Due to the holidays and how my half day weeks landed, I was getting all sorts of time off! It was awesome. Now reality has to set back in and I have a full five day work week this week. I know, the world's smallest violin is playing right now. Hush.

Since I have to wear "business casual" type clothes tomorrow I have to dig through my closet tonight before I go to bed. It's been a long time since I couldn't wear jeans and t-shirts to work. As a result, I don't have any shoes that would be appropriate that don't go over my fresh ink. There is no way in hell that I'm going to fuck up my new ink. Nope. Not doing it. So tonight I ran to a local store. I was just planning on picking up some slip on flats and calling it done.

But those were $20. Not a big deal. But I saw a different pair of shoes for $12 that fit the bill. They have a thick heel in the back and I think that aside from the next two days at work they'll come in handy for when I need to do job interviews. So I got those instead.

After that I stopped at McDonald's. I didn't want to wait when I got home to try and figure out what to eat and all that. So I was lazy, got McDonald's and came home. Plus, it gave Master a break from cooking.

I'm sore and kind of tired although I don't want to go to bed early because then work will just get all the sooner.

Errands

I know it's not an interesting subject matter. But today, aside from my shoulders and lower back really bothering me, I don't have anything else really to post about. I already gushed about my new ink. I'm still grooving on that, of course. But as I said, I really wrote and incredibly long post about it.

This upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday we have to dress "business casual" for work. (Normally our dress code allows jeans and sneakers.) That isn't really a problem except for the fact that all the shoes I have for "business casual" attire are too high to wear. Too high as in they will rub against my anklet tattoo. So I thought I would try and find a pair of shoes that I liked, wouldn't break the bank and wouldn't rub up against my tattoo.

Master said He was feeling a bit better so we headed out to the mall. I had already checked a few other local stores yesterday when I went bumming around with my brother and hadn't found anything.

We get to the mall and I check two other stores in there and nothing. Nothing at all. The only pair I even kind of liked were to expensive to me for what I needed them for. They were damn near $50. I'm not going to spend $50 on a pair of shoes I am only kind of iffy on. Fuck that noise.

So I guess I'll have to figure it out while making due with one of the pairs of shoes I already have.

We had some other errands to run but after the mall Master felt worn out. He still hasn't kicked this cold all the way yet. But at least it hasn't turned into something else. So I dropped Master off at home and did the rest of the errands myself. They could have waited, but I just wanted to get them done. So first I stopped at the game store and put down some more money on a game Master has pre-ordered that comes out in March. I only stopped there because it was on my way to another store and it crossed my mind as I was passing.

So then I went to the pet store. I had to pick up rabbit litter, dog treats and a new harness for our dog. When we first got him we had bought a medium. Now that he's almost three the damn thing comes unbuckled when he moves certain ways. He has obviously out grown it. We prefer using a harness so I bought a large in the same style and pattern. This probably sounds stupid but his leash, collar and harness all match. So I wanted to make sure the new one did too. Thankfully the same pattern was available. I know that sounds incredibly yuppie of me, but they are skull and cross bones, so I think it looks bad ass. I made a couple of other stops and finally came home. Master and I ate dinner and have been relaxing every since.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is Monday. The weekend was so busy that it just flew by. It was a great weekend though, so I can't really complain. However, this upcoming weekend is going to be one of laziness for the most part. Why? Because I want it to be.

Fresh Ink

Yesterday after I got out of work I came home for about 15 minutes and then headed back out the door. Master is still not feeling the greatest so He stayed home. I drove down to my hometown and picked up my brother. He came out with a suitcase, literally a suitcase. I asked if he was moving in and he said yes. I just kind of stared at him blankly. He laughed and explained that he was bringing his PS3 up so he could show my Husband some of his games. On the way up back to our place he told me all about his new girlfriend. Sounds like the poor girl has gone through a lot in her 26 years. But she also sounds really nice and my brother told me that sometime soon he would like for us to basically go on a double date with them for dinner or something like that. I told him we'd figure it out. They haven't been dating very long. I'd say about a month, maybe two. So I figure that I'll wait a little bit longer before throwing her into meeting the family basically.

We got up to our place and hung out with Master. We talked and my brother showed Him some of the games he has and they were nerding out for a while.

While they were nerding out my brother had said that he was thinking about getting a deer tattoo after getting the tribal piece he would get that night. I asked what he wanted it to look like. He told me and I, being the ink addict that I am, decided to look up flash on the internet while they played games. As I was browsing my brother looked up and said, "I really like that one!" He pointed to it on the screen and I said it did look pretty kick ass.

He decided he wanted that done that night as well as the tribal piece. So I e-mailed it to the artist. He answered by saying he could do that as well. He then asked if we could bring paper print outs of them because apparently he was using his phone to respond to the e-mails and viewing the attachments and the shop's internet was down. I said that we didn't have a printer. This made my brother extremely nervous and needless to say a bit upset. The artist stated that he could try and sketch them out. But then Master came up with the idea of going to a Kinkos and printing them off there. I looked at Him like He was a fucking genius and off we went. We got them printed off our e-mails and were out of there by a little after 5pm. Our appointment was for 6:30pm. Since it wouldn't make much sense to go back home only to leave shortly there after, we'd just go directly to the tattoo parlor and wait till our appointment time if need be.

Master dropped us off. He wanted to stay but He is still sick and felt it would be better to go rest at home. I agreed with Him. My brother and I went inside and the tattoo artist for our appointment, let's call him K, laughed and said that we were early. We had gotten there around 5:30pm. We said it wasn't a big deal, we didn't mind waiting. He was working on another customer. Well originally both of our appointments were going to be with K. But another artist there asked if he could do mine. Let's call this one J. I said that wasn't a problem at all. He asked me what I wanted in regards to an anklet. I told him and he asked me to wait for a little while. He actually drew it up himself. There was absolutely no flash in it. He had sat down and drew it. So it was a completely custom tattoo. It was the first time that I didn't have something already drawn up by Master or printed off the internet. So I was wondering what the hell his "take" on it would look like. When he showed it to me I loved it right away. (It's a very customized version of your traditional barbed wire anklet.)

Since K was busy I got to go first since J was available. We settled on a price of $100. Well worth it in my eyes. So he put the stencil on, I checked it and was immediately excited about it! Like I said this was my first tattoo like this. He started and my brother watched. He seemed to relax when he saw that I wasn't even flinching and it was going over bone, etc. I did warn him that this is my 12th tattoo so I'm pretty damn used to the sensation. When that was done he was looking at the tattoo right above it. It's a tribal rose and it was my very first tattoo. So, since I had received bad after care instructions, it was a little jacked up. It had cracks in the tribal. I had said to my brother while we were waiting for J to get set up that it would be the first one I would touch up and that I would start my touch ups after the one I was getting that night.

J must have over heard me because he asked if I wanted him to touch that one up while I was there. I was shocked he had brought it up. I asked how much and he shrugged and said, "Just toss me a tip and we'll call it even."

*insert shocked and elated face here*

Of course, I was already going to tip the guy so it was a free touch up basically. Although because the anklet turned out beautifully and since he did the touch up for free I tipped him over half what I paid for the tattoo. He seemed shocked by that. I told him that he earned it.

Then it was my brother's turn. They talked about the 2nd tattoo and K said that since he was already getting one, he would do the other for house minimum. Holy fuck! These guys are all about customer service and customer longevity. They are super cool guys let me tell ya.

So my brother got his two tattoos. He only winced a couple of times. I was proud of him. Master picked us up and we made a couple more stops on the way home. While we were out I bought my brother his "tattoo after care kit" as I bought mine.

When we got home all three of us just sat around and chilled until about 1am, when we all started to crash.

When we got up in the morning we relaxed for a little while and got some lunch. Shortly after lunch my brother and I had to leave since he had to get home by 3pm. I dropped him off and came back home.

I'm still incredibly stoked about my new ink. Master is happy for me and glad I did it. I think He thinks that I'll never spend money on myself for something that's not a necessity unless it's a tattoo. *laughs* Honestly He's not that far off the mark, which is why it's funny.

Now comes the sucky part of it healing. But it's always well worth it. Now I get to rest the remainder of the night with Master and we have tomorrow just the two of us.

Survived The Work Day

The past few weeks at work have been kicking my tail up one side and down the other. Today was no different. But I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off and because of it I'm sore as hell today. My shoulders are screaming at me and my legs hurt from all the walking I've done lately. But oh well.

Although I did learn something interesting on the way home today. I've talked about my being in a carpool to get to work and back. Well in the carpool one woman drives all the time (unless of course she has the day off work, then I take over) and the guy in the carpool and myself pay her gas money. No biggie.

Well, she told us tonight that she'll be gone for a week in April because she's going on a trip to Vegas. Okay, fine. It kind of sucks because I hate driving the car that far back and forth like that. Our car is in good "health" and what not, but because our job is so far away it'll take it's toll on the car rather quickly.

But that's not the interesting part. Apparently one of her friends is going to be buying a house and she is going to move in with her so she can get out of her apartment and help her friend pay the mortgage.

The problem is that they plan on moving out of the city we all currently live in. Which means that she won't be doing to carpool anymore. She'll probably still be at the same job, she just won't be picking us up because it would be significantly out of her way.

As we continued to drive home the guy in the carpool and I started talking about just the two of us being in the carpool and he was quick to mention that he won't have access to a car. He only has one car and his wife takes it to work every day of the week and she's not willing to drop us off early before going to her job. So that means it would always be our car and like I said that's a good way to run the car into the ground. Not to mention only having a two way split on the gas money. *sigh*

Thankfully, I had decided a while before I ever learned of this news that I would be looking for a different job. This is just going to speed up the process. She said that they will be looking for a house starting in April. I already know that finding and buying a home is not a quick process. But I'd rather get out of dodge long before I have to worry about driving our car out there every work day. Yes, I realize that will fuck with the guy in the carpool, but he's not my problem. I'm not going to run our car into the ground just so he can get to work and back. That may sound cold, but it's the truth.

Collar & Ink

I know that's kind of an odd mix to be posting about, but it's better than doing two posts in one night.

Today was my first day without my collar. I was okay last night after He took it off and I calmed down after it was taken off. I was okay because I was with Him. I was near Him and I was fine. But today? Today sucked. My neck feels naked. Whenever I touch my neck it's like sudden shock of, "Where the hell is my collar?!" It's not like I could lose it somehow. It's not like it would have ever fallen off. It was screwed on for fucks sake. But then I would remember and I would feel really odd. Like I would feel a bit shaky, almost like a mini panic attack. I told Master about that and He reminded me a few times that I was still His slave. My station has not changed. I'm still His through and through. That made me feel a lot better.

When I got home I had to put lotion on my neck where the breakout from the nickel allergy is. Again it feels really fucked up touching my bare neck. I've worn that collar for 6 years. This is going to take a long time to get used to.

Master made me smile by saying, "Just look at this way, I have better access to your neck." *smirks* I love it when He chokes me and bites my neck. So I'm okay. It's just going to take me a long time to get used to this and to not get out of sorts when I touch my neck.

Okay, now onto the second part of the title.

My brother is coming up on Friday to spend the night and hang out. He has been wanting a tattoo since he was 18. Next week he'll be 27. He finally has the money to get a tattoo. He e-mailed me the flash that he wanted. I tried calling the tattoo parlor Master and I went to 2 years ago. Of course I couldn't get them to answer the phone. Maybe it's just my experience but it's not easy getting a tattoo parlor to pick up the phone. Plus I was calling pretty early in the afternoon.

I was afraid of my brother coming up and us not being able to get his ink done due to not having an appointment. So tonight, shortly after I got home, I ran out to the tattoo parlor. I had three questions for them.

1. Can I get an appointment for this Friday? - Yes. The appointment is at 6:30pm this Friday. 
2. Can I e-mail the artist the flash my brother wants and get a quote on it? - Yes. I got the e-mail address, e-mailed the flash to the artist and am now waiting on a reply.
3. How much would be the tattoo I want? - Affordable. This paycheck that is coming on Friday is significantly bigger than I was anticipating. As a result, the tattoo I'm getting (between $80 to $100) is extremely affordable.

So my brother and I are both getting ink this Friday! I'm so excited! My brother only knows that I made him an appointment. He doesn't know I'm getting inked too. I think he'll be happy about it. That way he's not doing it alone, especially on his first tattoo. I think it'll help. 

I'm excited! I'm getting tattoo number 12 in less than two days! *happy dance*

I didn't tell my brother I'm getting inked too because I want to surprise him about it. Not that my getting ink really affects him, but I want him to be surprised that brother and sister will be getting inked at the same time. A really weird bonding experience if you will.

Retired

Master and I have been talking about "weaning" me off my collar and cuff once I get a ring with His birthstone in it, for work purposes. I have a ring picked out, but now I'm not sure if I can wear it or not. The metal, per the website, is "925-Sterling". I have a nickel allergy, so I'm not 100% sure I can wear it. I'm sure I can call a jewelry store and find out.

But apparently my body had other ideas in regards to weaning me off my collar and cuff. Tonight, shortly after my last blog post, I was sitting on the couch and we were watching Netflix. I was rubbing my shoulder where it meets my neck and I realized that I had a grouping of small bumps that itched. Immediately I started to worry. I know what that means.

Master asked what was wrong so I told Him that I felt a small grouping of pimple like bumps. He also knows what that means.

He told me to show Him. So I knelt in front of His chair and He moved my hair and the collar. Sure as shit it was my nickel allergy acting up. Fuck.

The reason why we bought this collar is because it was stated as hypoallergenic. It's made of stainless steel. I had gone through several leather collars before being "promoted" to the final collar, which is my Eternity Collar.

I can't say that I didn't get a good amount of time out of it. I've been wearing the collar for about 6 years. But now, I can't wear it. Master will not allow it and I completely understand why. If I were to continue to wear it the skin allergy would just get worse and worse. We've been there, done that with previous leather collars that had metal rings on them.

My cuff is also from Eternity Collars. I am having no reaction to that. But then again on the collar it's right where the screw is to take it on and off.  The screw on my cuff never really touches my skin because of how it sits.

As Master took my collar off I started to get emotional. I didn't cry although it felt like I was going to. He reassured me by saying I wasn't being demoted and that I may still wear my cuff. He said that my body just kind of forced the whole weaning process. There is no point in ordering a new one (they have titanium ones) because we'll just receive it in order to wean myself off of it. That's just a waste of money really.

I feel naked without it. I really, really do. When you wear something for that long it feels really weird without it. This also means that tomorrow will be my first full day not wearing it. For some reason I feel anxious about it. It was my security blanket, just as much as my wedding ring is.

Thankfully when we ordered our wedding rings we made sure to get titanium. I don't know how badly I would flip out if suddenly I had to stop wearing my wedding ring.

But like Master said, at least I still have my cuff on. And hopefully sometime in the very near future I can get a ring with His birthstone in it.

My neck feels weird.

P.S. - We are keeping the collar for sentimental reasons, just as we will when the cuff comes off. It's in a nice safe place where I can look at it every now and then.

Master Is On Lock Down

Well, remember my post about how I'm sick and got Master sick? Well, I'm just now at the last stages of it. I just have to blow my nose every now and again. But my Master? Well, the poor guy is still hacking His brains out and sore because of it. So tonight, once I got home from work I ran out and got Him Mucinex. My mother swears by it. So I figured it may work for my sick Husband. Once I got back from Walgreens He immediately took a pill. Of course He's still coughing really hard and what not but it's been in His system for less than two hours, so I'm not really surprised by it. The past few nights He's barely gotten any sleep due to waking up because He's coughing.

Well, since His immune system isn't the greatest and His cold hasn't eased up I told Master that until He feels better I'll take the dog out at night. Hell, if it wasn't for me being at work I'd be taking the dog out in the afternoon as well.

Once I told Him this He jokingly said that I have Him on house arrest.

Damn straight I do! In fact I teased Him that I would get Him a house arrest anklet for Him.

I am so afraid of Him becoming more sick than He already is. Three years ago He had walking pneumonia and let me tell you, I was scared. I mean normally pneumonia is pretty damn bad, but with His immune system it is down right scary.

So, the reason I am going to be taking the dog every night until He's better is because it's so damn cold lately and I don't want Him out in that shit while He's trying to recover.

I know it couldn't be helped but I feel bad for getting Him sick. Normally my immune system beats pretty much anything. I haven't had anything worse than a head cold in many years. *knocks on wood* So this time when I got sick it kicked my ass. It's like whenever I do actually get sick it puts me on my tail pretty damn quickly.

And because of my getting sick Master caught it and is having a hard time kicking it. I know it probably doesn't make a lot of sense that I feel bad about it, but I do.

After He took the pill and I was sitting on the couch I reached out for His hand when He was walking past and I kissed His hand. He smiled and sat next to me and let me rest my head on His shoulder. I apologized for getting Him sick. 

Hopefully this new medication will help Him get it out of His system. He wants to be better by Friday because that's when my brother is coming up to visit.

So now I throw the slave thing out the window as far as His health goes and I become the over bearing nurse that will drive Him nuts until He is 100% better.

I'm sure He's very excited about that.

Teddy Bear

I'm still a little kid in some ways. Normally when I'm not well I get extremely cuddly. But for whatever reason I started off kind of crabby due to my not feeling well. But now I feel cuddly. In fact Master just walked over here to hand me something and I leaned against His stomach. He ran His finger through my hair. Suddenly the words, "I'm going to buy a giant teddy bear." passed through my lips. Master chuckled and said, "I thought that's why you married Me?"

Because He is so much taller than me He is really comfy to cuddle with. But sometimes we can't cuddle when I'm not feeling well because I just want to lay on the couch and be lazy as hell. Those are the times where I need a teddy bear. And it's not some kind of age play thing. I just like stuffed animals.

Master chuckled again and said that I shouldn't buy a teddy bear, that I should buy a giant tiger stuff animal. I love tigers. I have a small collection of them as stuffed animals now not to mention two teddy bears already that Master got me. But some of them are a little older and have been collecting dust for a while. So I figure if I buy a new one, I can cuddle with it.

I may seriously just go to a toy store and buy a large teddy bear, or large stuffed animal of some kind.

I'll be 29 years old in about two months and I still want a teddy bear. I know that probably sounds weird, but that's okay. I don't mind being weird.