Too Long

Last night Master and I were trying to think of something to do. While doing so I asked if He wanted to watch a porno. He shrugged and said sure why not. I pulled out all of the dvds we have, which honestly aren't all that many, and asked Him to pick one out. I normally choose but He doesn't really care but I had already asked if I could go use the bathroom so I figured that maybe He would pick one out. He did. But not the way I thought. He simply stacked them all in a pile and picked the one on top. *laughs* It ended up being one where it is predominately anal sex. In fact one of the first scenes in it is a chick taking a baseball bat sized dildo up her ass after basically being fisted in the ass. That scene always makes me cringe. Master said that she must be made out of elastic. He's probably right.

Anyway, we both got undressed and curled up under the covers while we watched it. The next scene wasn't quite as horrifying and Master was kind enough to fast forward through most of the first scene anyway. Like I said, the entire dvd is mainly anal sex. We haven't done that in a long time. Longer than it should be. So I turned my head a bit and asked Him if He would like to try anal. He said, "You don't have to ask me twice."

And that started it off. He almost immediately moved my hair off to the side and just started chewing on my neck and shoulder. Sometimes He would dig His teeth in and actually pull backwards so that my entire shoulder moved back with Him. I do have to say I have very pretty bruises from it today.

Once He was done biting me He gently turned me over onto my stomach. After He entered me He asked me if I wanted the dvd to keep playing. I told Him that I didn't care so He reached over my head where the remote was and turned it off.

He commented on how dripping wet I already was. Biting like that will do that to me. He fucked me deep and slow, allowing me to cum several times. After I was nice and deep into my sub space He pulled out and told me to get the lube.

Well, the lube we normally use was still packed away. (Like I said, it has been too long.) But I had another one accessible. We had never tried it before but I opened it up and handed it to Him. I also grabbed my vibrator to use on my clit since that seems to help a lot when He is first sliding His cock into my ass.

He lubed both of us up and I put the vibrator to my clit. He tried to start slow but all of a sudden the head of His dick slid in and it hurt like hell. It felt like there was no lube there what so ever. I dropped the vibrator and Master immediately pulled out. I knew that He had lubed both of us up really well because He always does. The problem was that the lube dried out almost as soon as He was done putting it on. As soon as the pain stopped, which thankfully didn't take that long I hopped off the bed and went digging through my suitcase. Master was kneeling there wondering what the hell I was doing but finally I found it! I know how not sexy it was to just watch me digging around looking for something especially when it took as long as it did but damn it I was on a mission! As soon as I found it I handed it to Him and He lubed both of us back up again.

Round two!

And thankfully His cock slide in without much more than a small wince from me. I literally got off as soon as He slid halfway into my ass. He went very slowly at first. Very gentle. But from past experiences I knew that since it had been such a long time that I wouldn't be able to stay relaxed for very long. I told Him this and He said, "So what I am hearing is to fuck your ass hard." I nodded my head and He had absolutely no problem doing so. It felt amazing but it hurt a bit at the same time. I got off again and I didn't even need the vibrator against my clit that time.

He asked me, "Do you want cum up your ass slut?"

My response sounded desperate, at least to me, "Yes Master please cum in my ass. It's been too long."

As soon as those words were out of my mouth I felt His cock throbbing and I heard that familiar and wonderful growl coming from deep in His throat. It was intense in a very good way.

Today I told Master that I would like to try anal again soon. I know that my body has to get used to it. It really does. And it can't if it only happens once every six months. Master wants to push my body enough so that I can "handle it" for a longer period of time but He doesn't want me lying to Him and possibly hurting myself by not letting Him know when it really hurts.

Very Docile

Yesterday afternoon Master and I went into the bedroom to fool around. Before we got undressed and got into bed I went into the bedroom, grabbed my favorite vibrator, and put batteries in it. I then turned off the main bedroom light and turned on the lamp on the dresser instead.

When Master got into the bedroom I got undressed and slid into bed. Master pulled me to Him and chewed on my neck for a little while before molesting my tits and eating me out. After I got off I thought He was going to maneuver me so that I could suck His dick and was honestly surprised when He didn't. Instead He had me stay on my back and entered me. He allowed me to cum twice before putting me onto all fours.

I had put the vibrator on the headboard and made sure that the lube was handy. I handed the lube to Him and grabbed the vibrator. He pumped some lube onto His hand and slicked Himself up and then put some on me as well.

He slowly and gently pushed the head of His cock into my ass. He then paused as I had asked Him to put more lube on the top of His shaft.

Each time He enters my ass I realize exactly how thick His cock is. Don't get me wrong, I know He has a very thick cock. And it's not like my pussy isn't tight. It is. Master comments on that constantly. But it's a completely different sensation. And since my ass is obviously tighter than my pussy it is even more noticeable than usual.

It wasn't easy for me to relax at first. I put the vibrator to my clit and got off from that. After that it was easier for me to relax although the sensations were rather extreme. It was a bit painful at first but incredibly overwhelming the entire time. I ended up lowering my upper body to the mattress while keeping my ass in the air. It didn't matter how much measured breathing I did I couldn't get over the overwhelming sensation. I got off again but that only added to the stimulation. It wasn't really a bad thing. It was just... intense.

Master commented on how much He had missed this. He had missed fucking my ass.

I am slightly ashamed to admit that I couldn't handle it for very long. Soon the overwhelming sensation turned into over stimulation and it started to hurt again. Not in a holy hell I'm going to start screaming type way, but I was starting to shake because every nerve in my body seemed to be over stimulated

I was honest with Master immediately though. I said, "Master I'm not sure how long I can handle this."

He gently pushed down on my hips so they were a little closer to the mattress and He knelt down more. He told me that I was a good girl and that all I had to do was lay still while He plowed my ass. And that is exactly what He did. He fucked my ass hard and filled my ass with His cum. The sensation of Him cumming tipped me over the edge and even though my body was already over stimulated I got off again.

He stayed still for a little while as His after shocks twitched inside of me causing me to gasp deeply each time. He told me that I would have to be the one who moved. I knelt up slightly causing His cock to go in a little deeper before slowly moving forward, allowing His dick to slip out of my ass.

Almost immediately He got up and hopped into the shower. I followed Him into the bathroom, still shaking, so that I could clean myself off as well.

Normally when I'm shaking like that Master gives me aftercare. By aftercare I mean Him holding me until I stop. I only shake like that when my entire body is overwhelmed. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a fact. But since it is anal sex we both clean up immediately. It's never really been messy, it's really only ever been lube and a little bit of blood from time to time, but we want to be careful about it and clean up immediately. So there really isn't any time for aftercare.

After we were both cleaned up we went into the living room. A short time later I felt like I was going to cry. It wasn't pain. It was just sub drop. I didn't say anything. I probably should have. But I did end up going into the bedroom and cleaned up the lube that was still on the bed. This gave me a chance to calm myself down and gather myself. When I got back into the living room Master was just getting off the computer and sitting down in His recliner. When He did He grinned at me and said, "I love that empty balls feeling." *smiles*

Later on that night before we went to bed Master used my pussy to get Himself off and to keep me docile. Well, I can't really say to keep me docile because after anal sex I am very docile for an extended period of time.

The reason why I had said I was slightly ashamed of having to admit that I couldn't handle it for long is because I want my body to accept it for a longer period of time. I even asked Master to please not be mad at me. He wasn't mad at all. He was actually pleased. I didn't give up at the first shock of minor pain in the beginning. I did my best to relax. I know that the only way to get my body to accept it for longer is to do it more frequently.

We had been working towards that before and it was getting better but then all of that stress came up and for a while our sex drives dipped. And once it started to kick back in the anal part of our sex life didn't really cross my mind. That is bad of me. Master absolutely loves fucking me in the ass. He has never been pushy about it but that doesn't mean I don't need to work at doing it more frequently and for longer.

I want to be as pleasing as I possibly can be. He has never chided me for anything in regards to anal sex. I am extremely grateful that He is so understanding and wants me to enjoy it as much as He does. But I can't exactly get to that point if I don't try to do it more frequently.

I still feel docile today. I was very tired earlier as it had been a long day and ended up taking a nap, but still very docile.

50/50

As things are coming to a head around here and the "yep it's gonna happen" sinks more into our heads we are starting to feel it more. Especially as the time we have before everything has to happen is creeping up more and more. It's hard not to let it get us down but we are really trying to not let it hit us too badly. I mean it is, but we are at least trying to stay positive about certain things and cheer one another up. Even if it is something small. The small shit is sometimes more important than the big things are.

So we have been joking around and actually have made some small splurges on ourselves. It's not like we really should be but honestly it's not like it's going to make much of a difference so why not? And by small I mean we bought two DVDs and a CD. But it's something, ya know?

Anyway....

You know that video Master finally made for me after 11 years? I've been watching it on and off. Why? Because I love it and after all I've been asking for one for 11 years... *laughs*

Master had brought up that He wants to try having anal again soon. I want to as well. The only problem was that last night I pretty much passed out as soon as we got home. It was a very long day. I basically didn't feel up to much of anything.

Tonight we had gone to the store to pick out a couple of DVDs and if I had been thinking I would have bought batteries while we were there. But I obviously wasn't thinking and totally spaced on it. Why do I care about batteries? Well, really it seems like the only way I can get myself relaxed enough during anal sex, at least in the beginning, is by playing with my clit. Using a vibrator to do so is just easier. Of course I don't have any batteries for the damn thing. Master kind of made fun of me about it once we got home.

I didn't want to drive all the way back to the same store. Instead I called the local dollar store and yep, they sell batteries. I'm cheap as hell.... Anyway, I went there and bought some. There is only four in the pack but I only need two and what do you expect for a dollar?

Now we are settled for the night. After I took the dog out I hopped on here to do my blog post. Once that is done I'll be taking my bath and then Master and I will be doing back rubs. It's not like we have to be anywhere tomorrow or have anything to do so it doesn't matter what time we go to bed.

I'm just hoping that my body decides to behave itself. That's the only thing I hate about anal is that it's like a 50/50 shot as to whether my body is going to allow it without hurting me too badly regardless of the fact that I want His dick up my ass.

I know that some Masters wouldn't care how much it hurts, they'll just go for it and too damn bad. But my Master doesn't really push it. He wants me to enjoy it and even though yes I'm a masochist, I'm not that much of a masochist. I'm very lucky that He is so understanding, especially since I do have stomach issues. I'm also grateful that He doesn't get pissed off if we try and my body says no.

Slow and Gentle

I had told Master a couple of days ago that I wanted to try anal sex soon. Well, last night I asked if He wanted to go fool around and if so, if He would like to try anal. That is just a stupid question honestly. But I ask it anyway. So He said He would meet me in the bedroom. I had left the light on. Normally we turn off the light while we are fucking. No real reason why. We just do. But when anal is involved He has to be able to see what is going on.

I was laying on the bed, on my stomach when He walked in. For whatever reason I had left the regular bedroom light on rather than turning that off and turning on the lamp. He looked at me like I was crazy. The regular bedroom light is very harsh as it is literally directly above the bed. We hate it. I have no idea why I had left that on. So He switched that off and turned the lamp on when has a much softer light. (The really odd thing is that the light bulbs are the same wattage.)

Anyway...

I was about to move so that I was no longer on my stomach but He moved so that I couldn't. He hovered over me and ever so gently kissed my shoulder and then kissed just under my neck. He gently brushed my hair out of the way so He could bite down on my neck. It was a gentle love bite. Don't get me wrong, there was pressure and power behind it. It just wasn't as rough and intense as His usual bites. He continued to give me soft kisses and love bites along my spine and ribs. It felt amazing. With each love bite it was like a little shock of electricity went through me. I wonder if it has something to do with where He was biting. I do know that there isn't a lot to bite on my back and ribs.

He then opened my legs while I was still on my stomach and licked softly, sometimes gripping my ass and sometimes just resting His hands on my lower back.

It was very relaxing. He slid up and pushed His cock into my pussy. It was slow, long, deep strokes. He rested on top of me with His head next to mine and His arms around me. I didn't feel pinned down or forced to stay in place. Obviously if I had tried to move I wouldn't be able to. But to me it felt more like a very protective and loving embrace. He allowed me to cum twice. During the second one I had snaked my arm out a little bit and went to hold His hand. He interlocked my fingers with His and I squeezed. He lowered His head and kissed the side of my face after my orgasm had ended.

I then asked if we could try anal. He allowed me one more orgasm before He pulled out. I got onto all fours and He lubed both of us up. He was more generous with the lube this time as last time He had to stop twice in order to apply more. I grabbed my vibrator and gently placed it against my clit. He very slowly started to push forward with His cock. I winced a couple of times but it wasn't so much out of pain as it was just a very intense shock through my system. Each time it happened He stopped and stayed still until I fully relaxed again. Once He was fully inside of me He put some more lube on His hands and added a little more for a smoother stroke. Apparently I was tighter than usual. How that happens I don't know. I mean the ass is naturally tight, but some how, some way I was tighter back there than I was last time.

It was all slow and gentle strokes. He moaned repeatedly and I got off twice. I was getting so sensitive that I had to actually stop using the vibrator a few times because my system was going into overload. After a while I think it was highly apparent how overloaded my system was getting.

"Should I cum up your ass, kitten?"

I couldn't even form a full sentence. I just continued to repeat the word please. Normally, when He is about to cum He gets rougher but not this time. I think He was enjoying the slower and gentler fucking this time as much as I was. He shot His cum into my ass which tipped me into another orgasm. It is a very different sensation than Him cumming into my pussy. His cock is very thick and I can feel every twitch and pulse of it as He is cumming no matter which hole it is in.

He slowly pulled out afterward and we both cleaned up. Afterward we went into the living room and talked. We actually had a lengthy conversation about anal. He absolutely loves it and I am beginning to love it as well. It's just that my body isn't always up to it and as a result it doesn't happen as frequently as either of us would like. I would love to get to a point where there isn't a need for so much.. I don't know.. prep work? I don't know how to explain it.

We'll get there. I know we will. There was a time earlier in our relationship where we had reached that point. But there was a rather painful anal experience, through no one's fault, and since then I have been reluctant and nervous about it. I'm really trying to get better at it. But as Master says, there is no need to force it and if it is forced we'll most likely end up taking a step back rather than a step forward.

Although last night I wouldn't really say we fucked. I would say it was more like making love. That is a very rare thing. We both absolutely love and crave very rough and primal sex. As a result that is our norm. But last night everything was slow, gentle, and sensual. It was incredible.

In fact Master announced that last night while He was cleaning up. "I just would like to go on record saying that was incredible!" That made me giggle and I could do nothing but agree.

All Three

This past weekend was absolutely incredible. Sex, sex, and more sex! That will always make it an amazing weekend. *winks*

Saturday it started with morning sex. I woke up quite a bit earlier than He did. But sometime around 11am I decided to go wake Him up. I quietly climbed into bed next to Him and cuddled up to Him. I tried to reach down to His cock but because of the way He was laying it was pretty much impossible. But the movement was enough to wake Him up. Once He was awake He turned over onto His back and as He did so He raised the arm that was facing me so I could cuddle in next to Him and rest my head on His shoulder. Once I was comfortable He nuzzled the top of my head and I snaked my hand down and started stroking His dick. He moaned a little bit and as His cock grew the more He nuzzled and kissed the top of my head.

He asked me what I would prefer position wise. Sometimes He'll ask me and other times He'll just move me like I'm a rag doll until I'm in the position He wants me to be in. I thought about it for a little while, but I never stopped stroking Him and teasing Him. I figured that since it wasn't so cold out we wouldn't have to keep under covers for morning sex, like we have been for a while. So I asked if I could get on all fours.

It was a morning quickie but that didn't stop Him for forcing me to cum three times. Afterward we collapsed onto the bed again, cuddling a little bit more before forcing ourselves to get out of bed and start the day.

Later that night we fucked again. This time He told me right off that He wanted to make me hurt. He played with my tits for a while before eating me out. After I got off He continued to very, very gently run His tongue across my clit. I know damn well why He did that. He knows that I get extremely sensitive. And if I'm sensitive it's even easier for Him to make me extremely sore.

At one point, once I was even more sensitive He grabbed one of His pillows and had me lay on my stomach after He propped my hips up with His pillow. He talked dirty almost the entire time. *purrs* He told me that His pillow would smell like my pussy and He would be able to enjoy it all night as He slept. After a few more highly intense orgasms He used me as His sex toy.

Afterward He told me to clean Him off. So I scooted down the bed and started slowly licking the underside of His cock before taking it into my mouth. My oral fixation suddenly kicked into overdrive and I just didn't want to stop. So I didn't. I knew that if He wanted me to stop all He would do is either say so or He would grab my hair and pull me off of it.

But He didn't. He allowed me to continue. I couldn't really decide what I wanted to do more, so I changed it up every now and again. I would move my mouth up and down His cock, then switch to just licking His dick and balls. There were points where all I did was hold His dick in my mouth. I didn't move at all. I kept my tongue still. I'm not sure what gets Him off about it but all I feel every time I do it is His dick throbbing and if I have to swallow suddenly or readjust my jaw He moans. I love hearing Him moan. It was more like cock worship than a blowjob.

It's so fucking hot. He became fully erect again and I crawled up and started riding Him. I knew I was sore and I knew I was sensitive but I really, really needed Him inside of me again. I got off twice before I had to stop. It had become too much. My nerve endings were raw. So He told me to rest my head just above His hips and He would tell me when to put my mouth on the head of His dick. He started jerking off and I watched and would rub just behind His balls every now and then. In a very deep and graveled voice He simply said, "Mouth". I dipped my head down just a little and sucked on the head as He shot His cum into my mouth.


Yesterday I had asked if we could try anal sex. He of course readily agreed. So as the day went on we just relaxed and enjoyed quality time together.

When it got closer to my bedtime I asked if we could go fool around. As soon as we got into bed He asked me what I was up for. That's His way of asking if I still wanted to try. When it comes to anal sex He doesn't really push it. Not because He can't but because He chooses not to be. He wants me to enjoy it just as much as He does. So He doesn't force the issue since I'm not always able to without it hurting quite a bit.

So I said everything. He started off by having me put my mouth to good use. Then He got me on all fours and slowly pushed His cock into my pussy. I was still very sore from Saturday but it felt incredibly good. He got me off several times. When I was ready I grabbed the lube and my vibrator. He lubed us both up and I put the vibrator on it's lowest setting and put it against my clit. That always seems to make it so much easier for some reason.

And I was able to take His cock into my ass with almost no pain at all. It pinched a little bit at first so I asked if He would put a little more lube on the top of His dick. Thankfully we keep the lube very handy so it wasn't a problem at all. I got off hard. My entire body lit up. He called me a good girl several times. I don't know why that makes me swoon but it does. Every single time He says it.

He had to tell me to hush because I couldn't stop moaning and only got louder. I look forward to the day that we don't have to worry about such things anymore. It's not that He doesn't love hearing me moan and whimper and beg. It's just the fact that our apartment walls are thin and we don't need people calling the cops because they think someone is being murdered. *laughs*

I did end up saying that since it had been so long since we had anal sex that I wasn't sure how long my body would "allow" it. He said He understood. He fucked my ass rougher and faster. I did my best to not get too loud. I begged for His cum. That only made Him fuck me harder, sending me into another mind blowing orgasm.

After He filled my ass with His cum He was as out of it as I was. He slowly pulled out and immediately went into the bathroom to clean up. I was shaking. Every time we have anal sex my entire body starts shaking. Not from pain or anything like that. I think it's because my body feels so overwhelmed, in a very delicious way. Once He was done I went into the bathroom and cleaned myself up as well.

When I got out of the bathroom I noticed that the bedroom light was still on. So I took a peek and Master was sitting on the bed with a very spaced out look on His face that only meant He was deeply satisfied and pleased. I asked if something was wrong. He said no and told me to come onto the bed and lay down. The way He was sitting I knew what He wanted me to do. I got comfortable on the bed and rested my head on His lap. He wrapped His arms around me. It was wonderful aftercare. Sometimes He gives that to me after anal sex and sometimes He doesn't. But this time He did and I greatly appreciated it. He held me like that for almost 20 minutes.

So, this past weekend I got a shot of His cum and each of my holes. And today I woke up elated and sore every where. It hurt to sit down, but in a very good way.

Horny As Hell

My sex drive has been kicked up today for some reason. Well, technically it started last night. I had dressed up for Master and when we went to bed around 3am the sex was amazing. Almost immediately after we were both exhausted and ready to crash. But Master had to piss and I had to take the lingerie off. As soon as all that was done we curled up tight and passed right out.

This morning Master was up before I was. Thankfully, He decided not to allow me to sleep in too late. I think He woke me up around 10:30am or so. He had climbed into bed next to me. I had been laying on my side facing my side of the bed. So He put His arm around me and gently woke me up. I opened my eyes and realized that His crotch was right against my ass. He wasn't hard. He really had just came to bed to wake me up, but that's not what I wanted.

It was like my body was on auto pilot because I was barely awake. I rubbed my ass into His crotch and He chuckled. I continued to do so until I felt His cock growing. He said, "I take it you're horny?" Of course He said it while He was laughing. So He fucked me but didn't allow me to cum. It was still great morning sex though, orgasms or not. I was wide awake after His filled me. We cuddled for a little bit before finally crawling out of bed and going into the living room to start the day.

We've been relaxing all day long. It's been hot and humid all damn day, so we've been sitting in the air conditioned apartment and just killing time, which has thankfully been going by really slow. I did at one point have to run out to do a couple of really quick errands. Since they were going to be quick errands I just tossed on one of Master's t-shirts and a pair of yoga pants. Although as soon as I got out of the car the first time I was really glad I had worn a long shirt. I was still dripping a little bit from this morning and my pussy lips were swollen, which was then stimulating my clit hood piercing as I was walking. It felt amazing but I wasn't sure if the dripping was obvious through yoga pants, which is why I was glad I had the longer shirt on.

When I got home I realized that the small wet spot I had left wasn't really visible from the outside of the plans, but still. I think it was about 2pm or so when I knelt next to Him while He was sitting in His recliner and reached down to play with His cock through His boxer briefs.

He rested His head on my shoulder and nuzzled me a little bit before telling me to go to the bedroom. I got there first and knelt on the bed. When He laid down I immediately started rubbing His cock again and laid down next to Him while resting my head on His chest. I slid down and sucked His cock for a little while before moving back up to continue using my hand to please Him.

He caressed my back and moaned a little before telling me to get on my knees. I got on all fours and He positioned Himself behind me. I was already swollen and every inch of His cock slipping into me was delicious. I was hyper sensitive.

After about four or five orgasms Master had me put my ass in the air and my face to the mattress. He was fucking me but started to massage my asshole with His thumb, eventually putting His thumb inside and moving my pussy up and down His cock that way.

When He was done I said, "Did You want to try?" He told me that wasn't His intent. I knew He wasn't trying to pressure me and I know that He really was only doing that for both of us to enjoy. But I did really want to try, so I reached up and grabbed my vibrator. I made sure not to get myself mentally worked up over the fact that the last time we tried it didn't work out. I didn't want to work myself up over that and cause myself to tense up. So I put it out of my mind and simply repositioned myself and turned the vibe on, and placed it on my clit.

He lubed both of us up and seemed to slip in easily. It didn't hurt, but it was intense. I asked for Him to use a little more lube on the top of His cock, so He moved back a tiny bit and smeared some more lube on the top of His cock. He didn't pull out though. I was hoping He wouldn't.

It didn't take long once He was fully inside my ass for me to cum. I started to shake, that's how hard I got off. I put the vibe down and just enjoyed the sensation of Him fucking my ass. I was still hyper sensitive, but it only made it feel extremely intense. It didn't hurt at all the entire time.

I did bow down after a little while because I was shaking. I got off three more times before begging for His cum. He grabbed my hips and fucked me harder. When I felt His cock throbbing as He came, He pushed forward and I moved my hips back. At that exact moment it triggered another orgasm which made my asshole clench down on the base of His cock which gave the orgasm a whole new intensity.

He slowly pulled out and went into the bathroom to clean up. Once He was done I did the same. He had told me He would give me after care once we were both clean. He had gone back to the bedroom so I crawled into bed next to Him and rested on my stomach. He held me really close and just by Him holding me and feeling His heartbeat against my shoulder, which was resting on His chest, and hearing His breathing, which He was still trying to regulate, I calmed down and stopped shaking in no time.

That's all I needed. I've never needed much in the way of aftercare. I just need Him to hold me and sometimes, when I've been crying after sex due to severe sub drop, I need Him to lay His chest across my back and wrap His arms around me. But that's the most I've ever needed.

Not This Time

Last night Master and I were fucking and had already discussed having anal sex, so at one point, after a few orgasms, I just reached forward (I was on all fours) and grabbed my vibrator. As a result He leaned over me and grabbed the lube.

At first, I thought it was going to be okay. But it didn't go smoothly from the get go. He was having a difficult time just getting the head of His cock up my ass. Never mind I wasn't tense. I was actually relaxed and looking forward to it. One He did get in, it hurt. It was a really sharp pain. He backed off and I played with my clit a bit more and breathed in and out slowly, trying to get my body to match my mind. I wanted it. I really did.

We tried again and again we had to stop. My body wasn't going to play along apparently. Master softly said, "I'll go clean up." He didn't sound upset or mad. I was disappointed. I laid on my stomach and waited for Him to come back. I was doing my best to not get frustrated. I wasn't angry. I know that sometimes it's just not going to work. But it figures that the night I'm really in the mood for it my body decides to say, "Yeah.. um.. think again."

When He came back from the bathroom He slipped inside my pussy and we finished. He held me close afterward and I apologized.

He stopped me. He told me that it's okay. He doesn't get upset about it and He understands. He told me what aggravates Him is when I apologize for it over and over again. He's not mad or upset so why apologize? So I stopped.

And I wasn't upset anymore. Disappointed, yes. Not with Master or myself, but just the fact that it didn't go the way I was hoping. Master doesn't even seem disappointed about that. It's not that He doesn't want to. He has an ass fetish, so yeah.. He wants to. But He understands that it won't always work out. I just need to accept that more.

I want to try again soon though. 

Lube Me Up

Master and I had been talking earlier in the day and I had asked Him if He would want to try anal a little later. He looked at me like I had lost my damn mind. He turned to face me, put the palms of His hands together and touched the tips of His fingers to His mustache.

He then proceeded to tell me, in a some what dramatic manner, that if I ever, ever, ever wanted to be fucked in the ass I never, ever had to worry about Him turning me down. He told me to automatically assume that, yes, He does in fact want to shove His cock up my ass. I couldn't help but laugh. It was just the way He went about it. He's a goofball sometimes. I love that about Him.

I know that some people in a similar dynamic, regardless of which end of the chain you're on, may think that He is way too lenient with me when it comes to anal sex. After all, He's the man in charge. I should just give it to Him when He damn well wants it. And you're right... to a point. I want to be able to have anal sex whenever the hell He wants to in whatever position He chooses. But... He is allowing me to do this all at my pace right now. He knows I still need to relax quite a bit for it to go "right". He wants me to enjoy it every bit as much as He does. I just need to get there. And I am starting to. I know we've been together for ten years and we used to have anal sex at least once or twice a month.

And then at one point things went not so great. It hurt. A lot. Nothing was seriously wrong. I didn't need an emergency room or anything like that. But it hurt enough for me to mentally put the brakes on. And from that point I couldn't enjoy it. I would basically... I don't know how to put it. Deal with it? That sounds harsh. I would do it in order to please Him and that was pretty much all I was getting out of it. And because I couldn't mentally relax about it my body tightened up, which of course made it hurt. Not to the point that He had to stop, but enough for me not to enjoy it.

I'm slowly working my way back to it though. I want to get there. I know He does too, although He isn't pressuring me about it at all.

Anyway, back to the story here...

After my shower I put on a nice outfit with full access. Nothing too spectacular. It was a body stocking with the pussy and ass fully available and it was cup-less, so my tits were free as well. I then did something I haven't done in far too long. I put on make-up. Master isn't huge on make-up. He thinks I'm beautiful without it and only wants me to use eyeliner or eyeshadow, lipstick and mascara. No foundation or blush or any of that stuff.

So I put on some metallic silver eyeshadow and a shiny lip gloss. He was very pleased when I walked down the hall and knelt at His feet. We chilled in the living room for a little while before finally retiring to the bedroom. Just because I get dolled up doesn't mean we immediately run to the bedroom and get down to it.

Anyway...

I was laying on the bed and He climbed into bed next to me and started chewing on my neck and rubbing His body against me. I was immediately wet. I love, love, love it when He grinds His body against mine. I think part of it has to do with our size difference. It reminds me how tiny I am next to Him and how He can overpower me.

He molested my tits while I stroked His cock. He knelt up and allowed me to continue stroking Him. He lazily ran His hand down my body until He started gently fingering me. He ate me out until I came and then put me on all fours. He fucked my pussy first. I came over and over again. At one point He had me kneeling up with my back against His chest while He gripped my tits, using them to hold me to Him, and bounced my off of His cock. My face was rested against His and I curled my toes just enough for them to rub against His balls every time He bucked. He loved it. I know He did. Especially since I had the body stocking on. Extra texture. *winks*

He eventually realized that I was getting extremely sensitive. He asked if I wanted to switch. I nodded. I was off in la-la land already. But He wanted a verbal answer. A nod wasn't going to cut it. He asked me again and I managed to whisper out, "Yes Master."

He pulled out and grabbed the lube bottle while I reached for my vibrator. He lubed both of us up and I placed the vibe on my clit. It hurt the first time. He pulled out and helped me reposition myself. Then He just rubbed the head of His cock against my asshole for a little while as I continued to use the vibe on my clit. And then, suddenly, He was inside me. I let out a loud gasp. It didn't hurt it was just a very big surprise.

He immediately apologized and asked me if I wanted Him to pull out. I said no, that it was okay. He put some more lube on the base of His cock while He stayed still and before long as He started to slide His cock in and out of my ass I felt that sudden rush of an orgasm flow through me. After I started to come down from that I was a lot more relaxed. But I knew that because I was sensitive every where, literally, that my body may turn against me half way through. So I asked Master if we could kind of make it a quickie basically.

He had no problem with that. So He told me to start begging. And I did. I begged for His cum, at length.

"Please Master, shoot Your cum deep into my ass."

"I need it Daddy, please."

And of course many other things. He loves it when I talk dirty. And I did. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. His words, deep and full of lust, "I didn't tell You to stop begging."

Needless to say I continued and ramped it up more. It wasn't long after that, that I felt His cock pulsing, stretching my asshole even more, as He shot His load into me.

Worst thing about anal sex is that we can't cuddle immediately after. We both have to get washed up immediately. And trust me, after care cuddling is something I would love very much after anal sex. But it is what it is.

He cleaned up first and then I did. I was incredibly shaky. He held my hand and walked me to the bathroom so I wouldn't fall down. I closed the bathroom door and cleaned myself off. I then very slowly walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I started to apologize for asking for it to be a quickie and He cut me off and said it was okay. That sometimes that's exactly what we both need is a quickie. He told me that it hadn't ruined anything at all and that it is and always will be worth the wait.

Preview

You know how you can see something in porn but then still wonder what the hell it looks like when you're doing it? Yeah.

That's pretty much why I was curious as to what it looked like when Master was fucking my ass. He knew what it looked like, obviously. He literally has front row seats after all. But not me. My face is down resting on a pillow or the mattress. So far, I've found that it's the easiest position for me to relax during anal sex. I know we'll be switching it up eventually. And we have been playing with it a little here and there but only after I've relaxed fully.

It's taking some time but Master agrees with me when I say that all of a sudden I have made a lot of progress in that area in a short period of time. It was like a whole lot of getting me there mentally and once I was there.. boom. We were good. In fact since that time I haven't asked Him to stop the minute He starts sliding His cock into my ass. Maybe I'll ask Him to wait a minute to to add some more lube but I don't immediately throw in the towel if my body doesn't relax immediately.

Now that I've reached that place mentally everything else is sliding into place. No pun intended. I'm having orgasms during it, it's lasting a lot longer without my begging for Him to hurry up and finish, things of that nature.

Well, yesterday Master was able to snap some photos and He is allowing me to post a couple here, on this post. Yes, I know that I will be allowed to add a page of photos soon but I still felt the need to ask Him if I could put these in an actual post. Probably because He said it was okay for a separate page, rather than a post.

So here goes... (Note: Master was trying not to get lube on the camera and so if it seems a little blurred or whatever, that's why.)

So there you go... pictures of Master fucking my ass. I'm sure you are all very, very happy to see these pictures. *laughs*

I know Master loves them. And I really enjoy them too. I know there will be more in the future. Master is ever the shutter bug of perverted stuff we do.

A New View

Over the course of the past almost 10 years of our relationship Master has taken many, many pictures. Some of them we have lost over the years since we have gone through a few computer crashes/computers in that time span. But we still have a good collection.

However, there is one picture Master has never gotten before. He has never taken a picture while fucking my ass. We have pictures of me blowing Him and pictures of His cock filling my pussy, but none of His thick cock fucking my ass. Well, today that has been corrected. We had talked about trying it recently and I had brought it up again two days ago I believe. So late this evening we decided to head off to the bedroom. We were both feeling frisky.

I grabbed a towel and He grabbed the camera. My favorite vibrator and the lube were already on the headboard. I had turned on the lamp when I came in the room.

He got close to me and started biting my neck as I stroked His cock. He molested my tits before kneeling up so I could stroke His cock more and He could finger me. It wasn't long before He flipped me over and licked my asshole for a while, trying to get me to relax more. It helped.

He then ate me out. My orgasm was intense as hell. He allowed me to cum three more times by fucking my pussy. I was already tender there from earlier this morning, so it didn't take long. He slowly pulled out and had me get comfortable. So I got one my knees and bent over. Master lubed me up and snapped a couple of quick pictures of Him doing that. He set the camera down long enough to lube Himself up. I placed the vibrator on my clit and He started to enter me.

Almost immediately my body clenched up. I think the angle was wrong. So Master froze. I tried to just breathe and get comfortable but it continued to clench up. So Master pulled out. I think He believed that was that. But I wanted to try again. This time we adjusted a little bit and the angle was a lot more comfortable. It took a moment for me to get completely relaxed but it's not taking as long as it use to. But once I did there was no pain at all and I was able to get into it more.

He fucked my ass for a little while, then slowed down, and grabbed the towel to wipe His hands off before picking up the camera again. I believe He took about four or five more pictures. I was a little surprised that He didn't take more. But as He set the camera down He said, "Now to give your ass My undivided attention."

It felt great. I had a good four or five more orgasms both with and without the vibrator on my clit.

He had slipped out twice. We were both sweating, my pussy had been sopping wet before He even started fucking and then of course there was lube. So there had been a couple of times where He had went to adjust His weight of position and He had slipped out.

There used to be a time when if He slipped out that was it. It wasn't going in my ass again because it would iris shut immediately. But each time He was able to just slip right back in, with little to no resistance. That felt amazing. Just feeling His whole cock slide into my tight ass without any moment of hesitation. 

He asked me if I felt up to Him "raping" my ass. (We have a position that we do that we refer to as the rape position.) I answered honestly and said I didn't know. He knew the thought turned me on though and He said as much.

So He took the decision from me and had me lay on my stomach and put me in the "rape" position. It felt a lot different and made me more sensitive but I was relaxed enough so that it didn't hurt. When I'm in that position I am not allowed to cum. This was a pretty good test since I cannot really control my orgasms during anal. I had slipped so far into my sub space by that point though that I wouldn't have been able to get off if I wanted to.

I'm not sure why but when I'm deep in sub space I cannot get off. It still feels amazing. It feels absolutely incredible, but it's like that part of me shuts off.

He slipped out one last time as He knelt up to move His leg. He leaned over me and said that He wasn't sure my body could take much more and suggested that maybe He should just go clean up and we finish with Him fucking my pussy again. I insisted that He tried one more time. He did and sure as hell it slipped right back in with no discomfort.

My legs were shaking. My entire nervous system was electrified and I was flying high. He fucked my ass hard and He talked dirty to me almost the entire time. I eventually begged for His cum. I could feel my body starting to reach that point of sensistivity that it would overload my system to the point of it being painful.

He made me wait a little longer after that before He finally shot His cum into my ass and I felt His cock throbbing as He did so.

After He pulled out He told me that there was no mess, so I didn't have to worry about I got up. We were both drenched in sweat. I had felt His sweat dripping all over me when He was fucking me. That is incredibly hot to me. We caught our breath for a moment and He hopped in the shower while I cleaned up using the sink.

Master showed me the pictures. I really, really like them. I have obviously seen what a cock in an ass looks like. But because we never had any pictures of it before I had never seen His cock in my ass. It's fucking hot.

Now to spend the rest of the night enjoying the after glow. I am still in my sub space. I will be tomorrow as well. Every time He fucks me in the ass I am in my sub space for at least a day. Sometimes as many as three.

I do know He is proud of me though. Hell, I'm proud of myself.

The only down side to anal is that I can't really get immediate aftercare because we both have to clean up. But tonight after His shower Master was still extremely hot and so would have been very uncomfortable holding me. He apologized for it and I said it was okay. I know I'll get cuddles and hugs later.

That turned me on even more. He fucked my ass good and hard.

Fuck My Ass

I had told Master earlier in the week that I was in the mood for trying anal this weekend. Yes, I continue to use the word try. I think it mentally helps me to stay relaxed about it and not get so anxious. As if I were to say do You want to have anal sex this weekend it makes me feel like it has to happen regardless of what my body says. And yes, I know, Master would understand and would not push the subject at all. He is very patient with me in regards to this and extremely understanding. He told me it's because it is in His best interest to keep me comfortable about such things. Yes, He could just bend me over and fuck my ass and I could cry and beg Him to stop and due to our dynamic He could override that request unless He knew I was actually injured.

But He doesn't just want to fuck my ass. Oh no. That wonderful Master of mine wants me to enjoy it every time it happens. Which is the exact reason why He allows me to cum at will during anal sex. Now that I've experienced an orgasm while He's fucking my ass I have to say it is extremely intense and hits me very suddenly. The first time it happened I could barely breathe out the word Master. Thankfully He quickly said yes before the orgasm started.

Last night we were watching porn and there is a lot of anal in the one we were watching. So I just looked at Him and asked if He wanted to try tomorrow. He smiled and said "Sure." As if the man is going to turn that down.

Today we have spent most of the day just being very lazy and I was loving every minute of it. Then came a time where we just weren't sure what to do so I suggested watching more of that porno. He shrugged, said sure why not.

We got through maybe two scenes before we decided to go back to the bedroom.

I stroked His cock while He molested my tits. He then slid down, had me slide up and ate me out until I had a nice small build up to an orgasm.

Before I could fully catch my breath He was wrapping His arm around my waist and flipping me so I was on all fours. He slid His cock into my already dripping wet pussy. I was still swollen from yesterday. After the second orgasm I asked if we could try anal. So He pulled out and took off one of His rings that tends to slip off His finger when His hand has lube on it. While He did that and grabbed the lube bottle I grabbed my favorite vibrator and got back into position. Ass in the air and face to the mattress.

I started the vibrator on low and placed it on my clit. He lubed us both up and slowly started to enter my ass. I winced a little bit. He heard my quick intake of breath and stopped moving. He was still holding the base of His cock. I quickly grabbed the lube (by the way I am loving the fact that our lube bottle has a pump rather than a cap) and slid my hand underneath me so I could put more lube on the underside of His cock.

He then slowly continued to push His thick cock into my tight asshole. I then asked Him to please put more lube on the top of His dick. So He paused and did exactly that.

I put the vibe back on my clit and it instantly helped me relax. Before I knew it I got off and got off hard. It was then that I felt how relaxed I actually was and Master moaned and called me a good girl for opening up for Him.

That helped me relax even more. I put the vibrator down and simply enjoyed the sensation of every movement of His cock. Every motion. Every twitch. It was incredible. He did slip out once. He quickly slid back in. I winced a little bit, not as badly as when He first entered me though. My only reaction was to grab the vibe again and get off once more. After that I was fine. More than fine actually. It wasn't long after that, that I got off again simply from Him fucking my ass, no vibrator.

He continued to praise me. Every moan He made and every shudder of pure enjoyment I felt only heightened everything I was already feeling, in a very body tingling way.

As I felt Him getting closer to cumming I was on my way there as well. So I started to beg. I wanted to get off with Him. I really did.

"Please Master I need Your cum in my ass."

"Master, please pump Your cum into me."

It was the second one that tipped Him over the edge, combined with the fact that I had started to cum as well. He dug His nails into my back, putting more pressure on me as He did so. That caused Him to go even deeper into my ass which I, at that moment, didn't even think was possible.

We both gasped at the same time and peaked together.

I was shaking a little bit as was He. He very slowly pulled out and collapsed next to me. I rested on my stomach. We caught our breath and then went to clean up.

Once we were back in the living room we were both grinning like fools. He told me that He's proud of me and that I'll be a butt slut in no time.

Picture Perfect

Master plans on taking pictures later. After my shower and the dog and rabbits are settled He wants me to put on a particular lingerie outfit so He can take pictures of me in it. We haven't done any pictures lately and I know how much He enjoys it. I do too, most of the time. *laughs*

He also eventually wants to take pictures of Him fucking my ass. I asked Him how we're going to do that since lube is involved. His answer was very simple. I would lube both of us up and He would simply handle the camera. That way His hands stay lube free. That's fine. I have absolutely no problem lubing both of us up but... I'm not sure how I'm going to get His cock in. Right now I pretty much rely on Him lining things up and pushing forward. If I need Him to He'll stop and hold still until I relax more. Once that is all said and done and I'm more relaxed fine. But I'm not sure how I'll be able to do all that by myself.

For me the easiest position is doggy style with me bowed down in front of Him. That's pretty much what we've stuck to since we're still trying to get me fully relaxed a little more quickly. He also wants me to eventually ride Him while He's in my ass. That sounds fun too but going to take some practice and for me to relax just a tad bit more.

I'm making a lot of progress with anal but I'm not quite there all the way just yet.

So I don't know how the whole taking pictures during anal sex is going to work. We definitely do not want to fuck up the camera by accidentally getting lube all over it, but I'm not sure how all of it is going to work without Master using His hands at all. *shrugs* We'll have to figure it out because Master really wants those pictures and to be perfectly honest I would like them too so I can see what it looks like when He takes my ass. I think it would be pretty hot to see.

I love the pictures we have of Him fucking me while I'm on all fours so I'm sure that ones of Him taking my ass from that angle would be even hotter.

Butt Slut

Yesterday I had been thinking about anal. We had literally just had anal sex last week. But now that I am enjoying it more and more it has been on my mind more frequently. So I was messaging with Master and I asked Him how often He "expects" anal sex. He seemed kind of confused by the question at first. He said that we use to do it about once a month back when we were doing it regularly, before everything pretty much stopped due to my mental blocks.

He asked me if I was in the mood for it and if that was why I was asking. My only response was, "Kind of." I am still trying to make sure that no "pressure" on the subject builds up in my mind even though I know Master is not pressuring me about it at all.

So He told me basically whenever my body is up for it and the mood strikes me, for now. He does want to get me to a place where He'll just be able to tell me it's going to happen and then it does. He doesn't want to do it too frequently though. As in not every day or anything along those lines.

So He told me to just let Him know.

When I got home from work apparently that conversation had continued to swim through His brain just as it had mine because He was grabbing my ass and slapping it every chance He could. That made me giggle and smile at Him.

Eventually we headed off to the bedroom after the animals were all taken care of. He ate me out for a little while and then fucked me until I came a few times. After about the second orgasm I asked Him if He wanted to try and fuck me in the ass. Well, that was a stupid question wasn't it? Yes, yes it was.

He asked me if the lube was still on the headboard. It was. So I simply went over to the dresser, grabbed my favorite vibrator and turned on the lamp. I got back onto all fours and as Master was putting lube on His cock and spreading some on me as well I took a few pump fulls of lube myself (it's a hand pump bottle) and slicked my hand with it.

As He started to slide His thick cock into my ass I reached back with my slicked up hand and rubbed the lube along the underside of His dick as well as on my taint. I did make a few "owie" type noises. It sounds more like a quick intake of breath. Master stopped moving. I didn't say a damn thing. I just kept spreading the lube around for a little while. Since I didn't say anything Master eventually started moving forward again. At that point I was starting to relax a little bit so I grabbed my vibrator and put it on my clit. I was bowed down with my ass in the air when I got off the first time. Master praised me as the orgasm rolled through my body.

I dropped the vibrator and just enjoyed. I still do have to focus in order to make sure I stay relaxed but I'm getting better at it! And the concentration isn't keeping me from enjoying anything. I got off several times.

At one point Master had me kneel up. He was kneeling behind me and He grabbed my neck and forced me to kneel in front of Him with His cock still buried in my ass and bounced me off of it like that. It was overwhelming and amazing and just wow! He told me as I got off that eventually He'll have me riding His cock like that. I'd sure in the hell like to work up to that! Not only am I sure that eventually that will feel really good, but that it'll also feel like some kind of accomplishment on my part. Also? I know Master is going to be very, very pleased with me. I'm a good girl addict, what can I say.

I did end up begging for His cum at length. As He slammed balls deep into me He said, "Well, you have been good.."

How hot is that?! Very!

Again He was extremely pleased and proud of me. After we were both cleaned up and were in the living room Master commented on how docile I get during and after anal sex. He's right. I go into an entirely different sub space afterward.

Later on right before I had to go to bed Master made use of my pussy. So I got two of my three holes coated in cum last night.

He was so happy with me and I was happy as a result and am so glad that I'm starting to enjoy anal sex so much! It took me a long time but I got past my mental blocks. I know that this doesn't guarantee that every time we try it will be successful. I know there will still be days where my body just isn't going to allow it to happen. And I understand this. So I'll just enjoy it when it is possible and not worry about it when it's not. I won't worry because I know that eventually my body will allow it and I'll be able to has His thick cock balls deep in my ass once again soon.

Tap That Ass

Last night while Master was eating me out He fingered my ass and I was able to relax immediately. There was no real discomfort. Master commented on that afterward because we are still in the anal training stage. I didn't feel pressured or anything along those lines. It was more of a "Ya know what? You're right."

I was thinking about last night while I was at work. I tend to do that sometimes. If we have really great sex the night before I tend to think about it the next day at work at some point. Well, as a result I was thinking about the sex last night and that comment/realization entered my head. So while I was messaging with Master in the afternoon I bought up the fact that I would like to try having anal sex again. I asked Him if He was game. (Stupid question.) And He said definitely. (Exactly what I was expecting His answer to be.)

On the way home I didn't get nervous about it. Sometimes after I mention it earlier in the day I'll start over thinking it. What if it hurts? What if I can't relax? Which of course leads to my body wanting to fight it even more even if my mind wants me to be stubborn and proceed. Not this time. So far so good.

When I got home from work we ate dinner and relaxed for a little while. When I went into the bathroom to brush my hair real quick Master followed me in there and not so subtly hinted at the fact that He wanted to go fool around soon. Not right that minute, but soon. As in within the hour. He doesn't tell me a time frame or anything. I just can normally tell based on the words He is using, the tone of His voice and the look in His eyes.

I responded by giggling and rubbing His cock through His jeans a little bit while smirking.

About a 30 to 40 minutes went by (how did I know?) and He was ordering me to the bedroom. I got in there first and laid down. When He came in He asked if I still wanted my ass played with. I sounded a little nervous when I said yes, I'm sure of it. Why did He ask? I mean He is the Master after all. Well, He had to turn the light on and make sure we knew where the lube is. He leaves the light on in the bedroom if we're having anal sex.

He ate me out for a little while but I didn't get off from it simply because I didn't want to have a really strong orgasm and then be ultra sensitive. I don't know why but when it's a clit stimulated orgasm it's a lot more likely to make me extremely sensitive really fast. That would be counter productive. I sucked His cock for a while and then He had me get on all fours and fucked my pussy until I came a few times. After that He pulled out and grabbed the lube.

I had placed a vibrator on the headboard. This way I could use it on my clit to try and get me to relax if I needed to. So He lubed us both up and started pushing His thick cock up my ass. I did have to ask Him to pull out one time to put more lube on. After that, once He was inside me again I asked Him to stop for a moment. I grabbed more lube and reached back putting more on the underside of His cock. He then started to slowly fuck my ass. I  grabbed my vibrator and used it on my clit until I came and I came hard. It was like a shot had gone off. That's how fast and intense it was. After that one orgasm I dropped the vibrator. I was more than relaxed. I was actually greatly enjoying the ass fucking.

Eventually He had me bow down so that my ass was in the air and my head was on the mattress. I had three anal stimulation only orgasms. I am very thankful that Master allows me to get off when I want to during anal sex. Normally I have to wait until He tells me I can or orders me to cum. During anal He just lets me cum when I want to/need to. Why? Well first off they are a really new experience to me. It only happened once before and this time three? Wow. Secondly I can't really control them. They are very sudden and when it hits it's out of no where.

Lately during anal within 10 minutes I'm begging Him to cum because I just can't take it anymore but not this time. He fucked my ass slowly and enjoyed the view. He talked dirty to me and I just simply melted into sub space.

He did slip out a couple of times. Apparently I moved when I didn't even realize I had and that on top of a lot of lube caused Him to slip out. Now, up until today if He slipped out that was pretty much it. My ass would iris shut and there was no way it was relaxing again. Today He was able to slide right in like a hot knife through butter. It was amazing. And each time it happened He praised me even more.

He had me lay on my stomach and pinned me down. After a little while I will fully admit that I started to feel overwhelmed and started begging for His cum. He said no and that now that He had what He wanted He was going to take full advantage of it. That turned me on more to be perfectly honest.

When it did feel like He was getting close to cumming I started to beg again. "Please Master I need Your cum in my ass." I know that it really turns Him on when I beg like that. We both enjoy dirty talk after all. He moved one leg up, pressed down on my shoulder with one hand and my hip with the other and pumped His cum into me.

He cleaned Himself up afterward and when He was done I was still laying on the bed. There was no "mess" aside from the lube and I was still on my stomach. He laid down next to me and called me His butt slut. *giggles*

He has told me repeatedly, after I got cleaned up, that He is very, very proud of me for not only taking it like a good girl and taking it for as long as I did but for also cumming from it. He is thrilled that I am getting off from it as He knows that will only make me want to do it more frequently and the added sensation it gives Him. Not to mention the satisfaction of forcing me to have an orgasm. *laughs*

So, my ass is a little tender but I love the lube we are using now. It lasts a long, long time and isn't sticky. It's more comfortable. That's really the best way I can describe it.

Now? Now I'm out of it and just very relaxed and pleased. He told me at one point that one of the reasons He loves anal so much is because to Him it is the ultimate form of ownership.

As He oh so delicately put it, "If I'm in your ass, I own your ass."

*smirks*

Fucked In The Head

Sometimes I think I'm sicker than I realize. And I'm not referring to my bipolar disorder either. I mean just fucked in the head type shit.

Master says the thoughts and dreams I have sometimes are because I'm a masochist and I know that He's right. But I also know that some of them scare the hell out of me. I'll give you an example.

But first, I would like to note that Master would never in His life do something like this. It is simply a dream I had and I have no idea why. Basically He beat the living hell out of me. And I'm not talking kink wise either. I mean just beat me. I was crying and crawling away, bleeding, and begging Him to stop. But it just continued. I remember bleeding from different parts of my body. My head, my side, my hands. I remember there were bruises everywhere.

And then suddenly I woke up. I woke up rather violently. I sat straight up and was breathing heavy. The fear carried over until I realized I was awake. You know how that is right? You know you're awake but you still feel like the dream is still going on for some reason until finally all the lights turn on upstairs? Yeah, it was like that.

But that isn't the part that seemed fucked up to me. Everyone has dreams they know would never happen in a million years. But the fucked up part was that once I was fully awake I also realized that I was wet. And I don't mean like oh I'm a little turned on right now. No. It was like we had just gotten done having sex type wet. I didn't tell Master about it right away. I was trying to figure out what the fuck... but today I told Him about it. Granted it was over text but we were on a different subject at the time that made me think of it.

The great thing about being with someone you trust so much? No judgement. He didn't judge me one bit. He did make sure that I did in fact know He would never do such a thing. Yes, I know that. If I didn't I sure in the hell wouldn't still be around.

So, what was the original conversation about over text? Well, it had to do with anal sex of course. I'm making progress but I also want it to go faster. Yes, I know.. patience.. blah blah blah. But still.

I had made a comment to Master about how sometimes I wish He just wouldn't give me a choice and keep going. On one hand that thought scares the hell out of me. Why? Because it's going to fucking hurt, that's why. On the other hand the thought turns me on. Ultimate submission. Not having any choice in the matter what so ever.

This is also where the trust comes into play. I trust Him to not go too far. What's too far? Needing an ER trip afterward. He knows my body and He knows it's limits. We have been together for a long time and in that amount of time He knows me that well.

He said that He would be willing to do such a thing but I have to make damn sure that's actually what I want. Now why would I need to do that if I can still stop it in the middle of it and trust Him to know when I'm serious? Well, in order for it to work as a "forced" thing I need to be tied and gagged. If I'm not gagged the neighbors will hear me. If I'm not tied down I might move at the wrong damn time and end up causing damage to myself. See? He knows me and I know myself well enough to know that is a possibility.

I don't have to worry about that with anal sex in general. Why? Because if I can't move past the pain I know He'll stop. But, in a forced situation my only choice would be to find a way past the pain mentally or to just experience it until He's done. As a result I may want to thrash around or try to get away, which means movement that may lead to injury.

He told me that I don't have to make a decision now. After all I'm the one that brought it up. I just need to let Him know. I'm sure if I do say "go" there will be more discussions that are in depth and thorough. Right now, I'm not sure.

More Training

At some point last week I ordered an anal training kit. Master and I are trying to work on my being able to have anal sex more frequently and, more importantly, enjoy it.

So when I got a gift card I decided why the hell not, I'll just order an anal toy. So I looked around and figured why just one anal toy? Maybe I can find a "kit" of some kind. And sure enough, I found one that I could afford.

It's three toys. They are all smaller but have a wide base, thankfully. I feel really uncomfortable when an anal toy doesn't have a wide base. I don't want it getting "lost", if you know what I mean.

It showed up yesterday. So when I got home I opened it up and they aren't tiny but they aren't all that big either. However, they are different shapes. They are all plugs, just... different angles I guess is that way to put it? I have not idea. It's kind of hard to describe.

I put them in the bedroom for when we decide to use them. I'm hoping to try them out soon. Maybe Master will pick out the one we use first. Normally He has me pick the anal toy, just because we're still working on things back there but I really want Him to this time. I haven't talked to Him about it yet as the thought literally just went through my mind while I was typing.

Part of this whole anal training thing that is annoying to me is not that fact that we are working on it but the fact that I used to be able to have anal sex at least once a month. I never got off from it but I did enjoy it. And if I didn't completely enjoy it as in get incredibly turned on I at least was able to "handle" it.

Master knows this, obviously, but He has never shown any annoyance or irritation regarding that fact. I think He's just glad that I want to be able to have anal sex more frequently and get off from it. He loves anal. I know this and I have apologized to Him in the past for not being able to do it as frequently as I know He would like, at least not yet. You know what His reaction is? "It's okay, it's worth the wait."

How awesome is He? Very. That's how awesome He is. *nods*

It means a lot to me that He is willing to take it slowly and listen to me and my body... even when I don't. His number once concern has always been for my health, whether it's physical or mental. So He is just trying to help me work past this mental block of mine as well as help me get my body to relax.

Even though He is a sadistic son of a bitch (and I say that with love) He doesn't want to hurt me like that. I know it's probably tempting.. *laughs* But He doesn't want to do that.

I am trying not to get frustrated with this whole process. I want to just enjoy what we are doing so that I won't be tense or get a sense of pressure, that I would be putting on myself. He isn't pressuring me at all. Not one tiny bit.

So I'll just take His thought process and run with it. Just enjoy what we are doing and eventually it'll pay off.

At Least I Tried

Last night I dressed up for Master and we ended up finishing one of the recent porno movies we had bought a while back. After that Master and I went to the bedroom. He nipped my neck and got me even more geared up by sucking and licking my nipples. That drives me absolutely crazy (in a good way).

He then moved down my body and ate me out. He started off fingering my pussy but then slowly but surely started to finger my ass. The orgasm I had was insane. It was like my entire body burst into sensation all at once.

He knelt up and had me suck His cock. My oral fixation was in over drive and for the first time in quite some time my jaw wasn't bothering so I made the most of it. He didn't want to finish in my mouth though, He wanted to fuck me. But He allowed me to keep going after pulling my head back once. I whimpered and He chuckled and let me continue to orally worship His dick. It was delicious.

Finally He did end up pulling my head back and tossing me down. I was still very sore and swollen from our sexual escapades over the past week or so. It hurt so damn good.

He allowed me a few more orgasms before I asked if He wanted to try anal. I always put that word try in there because I have no fucking idea what my body is going to do. But I had that amazing orgasm while He was eating me out and fingering my ass that I really, really did want to have anal sex. I really did... no really. (Okay, I'll stop now.)

He turned on the light and grabbed the lube. He lubed Himself up first and then me. He very slowly pushed in and at first I thought it was going to be okay. Then all of a sudden a shot of pain. Mother. Fucker. He pulled back out. I honestly don't think He even got past the head of His cock. I think He thought that would be the end of it. But I still wanted to try. So I grabbed the lube bottle and put some on my hand. I was on all fours anyway so I just reached underneath me and put more lube there.

He tried again. It hurt again. But I didn't want to stop. However, it didn't take long before I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle it. Again I don't think He got past the head of His cock. Edit: Apparently I was mistaken. Master read this post and said that the second time He was actually balls deep. And He was still so understanding. I love that man of mine.

He stopped and said it was okay, that He would just go wash up and we'd finish with regular sex. I was upset. I knew He wasn't. I think He was pleased just by the fact that I had honestly wanted to try and hadn't given up immediately and the fact that I had brought it up at all.

After He had washed up He continued to fuck me but then grabbed my small little anal toy and inserted that. Obviously it's a lot smaller than Master's thick cock. It was uncomfortable at first but as He continued to pump in and out of me it didn't hurt anymore. But again, it was small. I know that if we had continued to try for Him to fuck me in the ass it would have hurt like hell and not in a good way.

After He came He rolled off me and slowly pulled the toy out. Almost immediately after I collapsed onto the bed and started crying. I was overwhelmed and a little upset with my body. I sub crashed basically. He covered me with His arm and gently petted the back of my neck. He knows when I need some after care. And just being held close by Him and Him petting me like that is enough for me. In fact it's perfect for me.

I apologized to Him about not being able to go through with the anal sex. I kind of felt like a tease ya know? But He didn't see it that way at all. It's a lot of progress for me to even bring it up. He was pleased. He wasn't mad or upset.

I stopped crying and cleaned myself up as well as the toy. After that I came out into the living room long enough to get a hug and kiss from Master before I went to bed and drifted off.

I told Him today though that I want to try again soon. I will do this damn it!

Ass Man

Last night Master wanted me to dress up for Him once I was done taking my shower. So, I put on a mesh mini dress type lingerie that was ass-less. Master is an ass man and apparently He loves my ass (literally) so I wanted to show it off for Him.

When it was about time for me to go to bed Master ordered me to the bedroom. He had me suck His cock for a while before flipping me onto my stomach. As He was fucking me I stuck my legs straight out and crossed them at the ankles.

After He allowed me to cum several times He had me get on all fours and put my ass in the air. As He was fucking me He stuck His thumb up my ass and used that to control how quickly I was bouncing off His cock. He wasn't fully satisfied with that so He pulled out, turned on the lamp in the bedroom and grabbed one of my smaller anal plugs. He lubed it up and was kind enough to put some lube on me as well.

I was surprised at how easily the toy slid in. Yes, it is a smaller one but even still normally there is some discomfort. There was a very tiny bit of discomfort upon initial insertion but that was it. He praised me for how well I took it.

I have a very sensitive ass apparently and as a result I normally have a difficult time having anal sex or taking anal toys. So whenever I am able to do so and don't have to have it stop Master praises me extensively.

He left the toy in and continued to fuck me. It made me go into my sub space rather quickly. Well, almost immediately actually.

He eventually had me lay on my stomach.

That lube we are using now is amazing. I felt no discomfort and it actually felt good. I'm hoping that since we have this new lube (this is only our second time using it) that I will be able to enjoy all of this more. I know how much Master loves anal sex and I want to be able to enjoy it as well so it can occur more often.

We used to have anal sex a lot more frequently. I don't know what changed but suddenly my body couldn't handle it as often and it got to the point that I actually got nervous about it because I was afraid it would hurt in a bad way. Master has never pushed the issue even though He could easily do so as He is the one in charge. But He wants me to enjoy it as well and doesn't want to hurt me in such a way that it makes it so I'll never be able to enjoy it and only "put up" with the pain to please Him. I'm sure His sadistic nature would get off on it but that's not what He wants.

I do have to say that I am thankful that He wants me to enjoy it as well.

He has said though that from now on when I wear something assless my ass is "on the line" as this indicates to Him that I want my ass played with and last night I did. I didn't want to have anal sex, I just wanted my ass played with and basically test the waters.

Today I had no pain or discomfort so again I'm thinking that the lube is helping a lot. It doesn't feel sticky and it seems to last a hell of a lot longer.

As a result I'm hoping to get back to the point where we had anal sex rather frequently.

Frisky

I remembered something yesterday while Master and I were going through our mostly lazy day. I had forgotten how frisky Master gets after we have anal sex. Don't get me wrong, He loves coping feels and smacking me on the ass, etc. It's not like He doesn't do such things normally, but there is a definite upswing. It just becomes more apparent I guess. And apparently, now that I have realized how intense an orgasm can be during anal sex I stepped it up a notch as well.

For most of the day we were making small little comments, kind of like flirting but dirtier. He would slap me on the ass, I would grab His crotch, etc. At one point I was in the kitchen wearing one of His long sleeve jean shirts because I was chilled. I was standing at the counter grabbing something from one of the shelves. He came up behind me, grabbed my hips and rubbed His crotch against my ass. I giggled and pushed back.

Like I said, we can be like that normally but yesterday there was quite a bit more of it than usual.

He took me to the bedroom about mid afternoon. The sex was fucking amazing. We relaxed and joked around in the living room after that. As the night went on, after I had taken my medication, I started to wind down a bit. I was starting to get a little sleepy and was about to doze off on the couch. After all I had to get up to go to work in the morning, so I figured sleeping earlier than usual was okay.

Master had other plans. *smirks* He told me He was going to tuck me in. I protested a little bit until it finally dawned on me that He wasn't saying I had to go to bed right away. I know, I said I was tired and winding down but I wanted to stay by Him in the living room if I was going to sleep. So when He first said tuck me in I protested because I wanted to be by Him. But hey, fucking is better!

He was quite rough with me. My ass was of course still sore but in a way that it was more like a nice reminder rather than an "ow... ow....ow.." That lube works wonders!

After allowing me to cum several times He put me on my stomach and pinned my arms down while hooking His legs under mine so I literally couldn't move. This position means one thing and one thing only, I will not be getting off any longer. It may sound weird that we have a position like that, but we do.

He refers to this position as Him using me as a masturbation toy. As He was fucking me hard, deep and unforgiving He told me that He was going to use me to masturbate to the thought of one day fucking my ass (literally) while in that position. That made me both nervous and excited at the same time. Nervous because I have a feeling that is going to take some getting used to and I'm not sure how my body is going to react the first time and excited because I'm already in toy mode in that position so add anal to the mix and yeah, deep sub space to say the least. I become really, really submissive before, during and after anal sex. I'm not sure why. I have a feeling it has something to do with it being a completely different sort of intimacy and also it is a service I know He absolutely loves and desires. To me it is one of the most ultimate forms of submission. I sometimes wonder if He do views that in the same light I do. I've never really asked.

But as He's fucking me and growling such things in my ear I'm mentally getting off on it. (I would be literally getting off I was allowed to... but that as well is something that mentally gets me off..) As a result I start talking dirty to Him as well. It's not that I don't ever do that but it is somewhat of a rariety beyond the "Master" ... "Please Daddy"... "Oh my God!"

So I started telling Him how I loved the feeling of His thick cock stretching my tight asshole. I told Him how much I had enjoyed it. That threw Him over the edge and He came inside my pussy and laid on top of me for a little while.

I was then actually tucked in and told to go to bed.

Thoughts of this weekend and the different intensities of the sex we had ran through my head all day. It's a great thing to have running through your mind while you're stuck at work.

Training? What Training?

A while back I did a post about how we were going to start my anal training once again. I also mentioned that we had bought a new lube. Well, tonight while watching porn with Master I said that we should probably start on my training again. We have been doing some things, but not anything larger than a small anal toy. And even then it wasn't for long and not frequent at all. Part of that is because Master wants me to bring it up so I can be more relaxed about it. I've posted about how I get nervous about it. Of course this porn had a lot of anal sex in it, which is what kicked off that whole thought process. He agreed that yes, we should start my anal training again. So a little after we finished watching the porn we headed off to the bedroom.

Master started by getting me really worked up by sucking and licking my nipples. He then knelt up and fingered my pussy while I stroked His cock. He asked me if I wanted Him to eat me out and I of course said yes. That man knows how to use His mouth, let me tell ya.

As He was licking my clit and fingering my pussy I asked Him to finger my ass. He did and when I got off it felt amazing. It was a very intense orgasm.

He had me suck His cock for a while and when He pulled me up I knelt in front of Him and asked if we could try anal. I think this took Him by surprise as I had mentioned training and here I am asking for Him to try and shove His thick cock up my ass.

This isn't me gloating. Seriously, His cock is very thick.

He said we could try. I think I asked if He would be mad if we had to stop about three times. He said that we would try and if I couldn't no big deal. He bent me over and fucked my pussy for a little while first. That always seems to help.

Then He grabbed the Maximus lube, which is the new lube we bought. He lubed Himself up and applied some to me as well. I was on my knees, holding myself up with my hands and my back was arched. Initially it hurt. I won't lie. But it wasn't overly painful. It wasn't a get the hell away from me kind of pain.

I simply asked Him to apply more lube. He did and I played with my clit while He slowly worked His cock into me. I grabbed the lube bottle without saying a word, put some on my hand and reached back so I could rub some more on the underside of His cock. As soon as I did that I was able to relax a bit more.

I then slowly lowered my head and shoulders to the mattress, keeping my ass in the air as He continued to fuck it. I always seem to shake a little when He's fucking me in the ass. But I took a few deep breathes and stopped playing with my clit. If I always have to play with my clit in order to "stand" the sensation then the training isn't going to go anywhere. Yes, I know, Him fucking me in the ass isn't really training. But I still saw it as such.

Once I stopped playing with my clit I had to focus on staying relaxed. It didn't take long before I really started getting into it. The concentrating seemed to be helping a lot. And then, as if a light switch was flipped I really, really started to enjoy it. I was about to get off, and get off hard. I knew I needed permission to cum so I quickly squeaked out a "Please Master!" He told me I could cum and that's all it took. It was a very different and very fucking intense orgasm. The orgasm didn't stop it just seemed to roll into the next one.

As the second orgasm peaked I felt Master cumming as well. This only heightened all of the sensations that were already lighting up my nervous system.

I asked Him to slowly pull out. We both got cleaned up and we were both shaky. I know His orgasm was as incredibly intense as mine were.

 We went into the living room and we were both still in a daze. As we were coming down from the amazing body buzz He said, "I am so fucking proud of you!"

That made me smile from one ear to the other. I had done it. Not only did I have His cock in my ass but I had my first ever anal only orgasm.

I've cum during anal sex before but it's only been when I'm playing with my clit enough to get off. But not this time. The only thing that triggered my orgasm was Him fucking me in the ass.

I told Him that the only reason I wanted to actually just go ahead and try it is because I felt so relaxed while He was fingering my ass. So I wanted to see if I could.

I'm still shaky as hell. Master and I agree though that the new lube helped a lot. It wasn't sticky and didn't seem to "wear off". It was great!

I know, some of you who have anal sex a lot are probably reading this like it's no big deal. But trust me, to me it is. Especially the anal only orgasm.

I'm also not as sore as I thought I would be. I mean, I'm sore as hell don't get me wrong, but it's not a "Dear God why the hell did I do that?!" kind of pain. I feel great actually. Finally, I was able to please Master in that way, which is something I haven't been able to do in quite some time. I want to keep working at it though so it can become something we do more frequently. Now that I felt how that kind of orgasm felt I'm hoping I can reach that again. I know Master won't mind trying. *smirks*

P.S. - I really hope this post makes sense. *laughs* I'm am really out of it right now.