50/50

As things are coming to a head around here and the "yep it's gonna happen" sinks more into our heads we are starting to feel it more. Especially as the time we have before everything has to happen is creeping up more and more. It's hard not to let it get us down but we are really trying to not let it hit us too badly. I mean it is, but we are at least trying to stay positive about certain things and cheer one another up. Even if it is something small. The small shit is sometimes more important than the big things are.

So we have been joking around and actually have made some small splurges on ourselves. It's not like we really should be but honestly it's not like it's going to make much of a difference so why not? And by small I mean we bought two DVDs and a CD. But it's something, ya know?

Anyway....

You know that video Master finally made for me after 11 years? I've been watching it on and off. Why? Because I love it and after all I've been asking for one for 11 years... *laughs*

Master had brought up that He wants to try having anal again soon. I want to as well. The only problem was that last night I pretty much passed out as soon as we got home. It was a very long day. I basically didn't feel up to much of anything.

Tonight we had gone to the store to pick out a couple of DVDs and if I had been thinking I would have bought batteries while we were there. But I obviously wasn't thinking and totally spaced on it. Why do I care about batteries? Well, really it seems like the only way I can get myself relaxed enough during anal sex, at least in the beginning, is by playing with my clit. Using a vibrator to do so is just easier. Of course I don't have any batteries for the damn thing. Master kind of made fun of me about it once we got home.

I didn't want to drive all the way back to the same store. Instead I called the local dollar store and yep, they sell batteries. I'm cheap as hell.... Anyway, I went there and bought some. There is only four in the pack but I only need two and what do you expect for a dollar?

Now we are settled for the night. After I took the dog out I hopped on here to do my blog post. Once that is done I'll be taking my bath and then Master and I will be doing back rubs. It's not like we have to be anywhere tomorrow or have anything to do so it doesn't matter what time we go to bed.

I'm just hoping that my body decides to behave itself. That's the only thing I hate about anal is that it's like a 50/50 shot as to whether my body is going to allow it without hurting me too badly regardless of the fact that I want His dick up my ass.

I know that some Masters wouldn't care how much it hurts, they'll just go for it and too damn bad. But my Master doesn't really push it. He wants me to enjoy it and even though yes I'm a masochist, I'm not that much of a masochist. I'm very lucky that He is so understanding, especially since I do have stomach issues. I'm also grateful that He doesn't get pissed off if we try and my body says no.