I know, not much for a post title, but seriously I just feel mentally drained today. In fact this is the first thinking related activity I've had since I got home from work. Master just let me fend for myself for dinner; I had cereal. And since then we've just been knocking out some episodes of LA Ink. By the way, I'm really hoping that on our tax returns in April we can afford to get some ink done. I've finally figured out how I want a tattoo done that I've been hemming and hawing over for about.. oh.. 7 years now. I just couldn't decide how I wanted it done, and it's not like I want to rush into a tattoo. I've never just gotten a tattoo that I only kind of liked. I'm stuck with it, so I'm going to love it.
I know Master also wants new ink as well. He is flipping between two different designs for His left forearm. He has a spider on His right one, now He wants something on the left. I'm sure He'll decide sooner or later, especially if He realizes that we'll have the money for it.
I've mentioned to Master that I think some of the stress is finally taking it's toll on me. I keep telling Him I look like hell. He assures me that I don't, but He's biased. I look paler than usual, which is saying something since I'm normally pretty pale. My hair doesn't seem as thick as it use to and I'm noticing more hair in the hairbrush. I don't think I'm going bald or anything.. it's like some fucked up form of stress shedding. I'm noticing every little scar and mark on my face. I don't wear foundation or anything, so it just seems more noticeable to me.
I'm sure I don't look as bad as I think I do. Master still tells me I'm beautiful and I look great. When I tell Him I think I look like hell He looks at me like I'm bat shit crazy. It's a good thing He loves me. It really is. I may have gone completely off the deep end by now without Him.
How's his job search going? I haven't seen any mention of it. Maybe he could sign up at a day-labor place like Labor Ready until he finds something steady.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for years now, and never commented before because I feel like it's not my place to butt in to your business. But I feel like I need to say this... please, DON'T spend your tax return money on tattoos! Put it in a savings account! You are constantly worried about money, which is completely understandable since you're the sole breadwinner in the family at the moment. But then it seems like whenever you get a little extra,you consider it spending money and buy things. I understand the desire to treat yourself once in a while, but you are struggling. If you would just put that money aside, you wouldn't have to freak out when your husband needs a prescription or you get a flat tire!
ReplyDeletePlease don't take this the wrong way... this is said from a good place from someone who has been reading your story for a very long time. I've totally been in your shoes, and even just having a few hundred dollars set aside for emergencies makes a world of difference when it comes to financial stress.
Hey all - just want to comment to Kitten and commenter above. I get what anon means and all but it is so hard living paycheck to paycheck and we all need to treat ourselves here and there.
ReplyDeleteI have always struggled financially... and I used to never treat myself because I always thought "I can buy food or pay this bill instead" etc. I found myself so miserable because I never justified doing anything for *me*. I think it is important to live a little here and there.
Don't get me wrong... I totally understand the need to treat yourself once in a while. Everyone should do that. BUT, I really believe that you need to have an emergency fund set aside FIRST. Even if it's only $100. There was a time not that long ago that Kitten suffered unnecessarily, putting off going to the Emergency Room because she didn't have the money for the co-pay. She only went after finding out beforehand that she wouldn't have to pay the whole amount upfront. At the very least, please set aside enough for a hospital co-pay before spending any more money on tattoos or video games!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry if this is taken the wrong way. It just kills me to read one day that you can't afford a prescription, and then you get a little extra money and spend it. It's honestly said out of concern. It's friendly advice from a total stranger who cares and who honestly wants the best for you both.
Okay.. this is an all in one shot type response. Master is still looking for work. We are both looking for Him CONSTANTLY. The economy fucking sucks.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the whole tax return tattoo thing... I didn't mean I would spend all of it on ink. We hardly get to treat ourselves at all. Everything is paycheck to paycheck, make sure all the bills are paid and there is food in the house. It's stressful and it really fucking sucks.
I realize things happen that I can't afford right away. For instance another tire went out on the damn car. I am having to borrow the money to get all new tires (the other two would probably go out soon as well since they were all put on at the same time originally).
If I had money to set aside I would be, but right now every penny counts. When tax returns come I'm hoping that we get enough of a return to put some money away as emergency funds and yet still have some left over to treat ourselves with. If it's not enough for a tattoo.. so be it. Although the one I want is very small in comparison to my normal tattoos. Anyway, I am not pissed so please don't take it that way. I'm just frustrated as hell and trying to give myself a light at the end of the tunnel type thing. Something to look forward to.
I too have been following your blog for over 3 years now, and I feel for you and your problems. But I have to say that I really do wonder why in all these years, your Master and husband has not been working. (except for a job he had in between for about 6 months i guess). I realize the economy is bad and getting a job is tough, but there must be SOMETHING he can do, even part time, while he looks for a regular job he does like? The way you put it, even $200-300 extra a month could make a lot of difference to your lives, and that could be earned with a part-time job? I was just wondering out of concern for you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteWhy is everyone online a busy body? Any normal post she writes is lucky to generate 1 comment, get into a post about finances, jobs, etc and suddenly folks come out of the wood work with expert advice, and all kinds of ideas...."I realize the economy is bad and getting a job is tough, but there must be SOMETHING he can do, even part time, while he looks for a regular job he does like? " Well hell you think we haven't thought of that? Think we haven't looked? Well here is something you may not have thought about, actually a couple somethings. 1.) as soon as a background check is run on me 9 out of ten times it's game over right there. See when I was younger I was thief and got caught a few times which gave me a record. Case in point I was pretty much hired at the downtown museum until museum security dept pulled a background check, soon as it came back I had a record it was see ya. Even though the kiosk manager had pretty much hired me and asked if I could come in that very weekend. I have a ton of stories like that for pretty much any interview I have been on.
ReplyDelete2.) Gas itself see depending on when or where the interview is we have to plan out our gas damn near to the mile. If someplace is beyond a certain radius and hiring I may not be able to get there to apply because kitten may either need the car cause her car pool scheduled the day off or we need to make sure there is at least a half tank in there at the moment because at any time we may need to drive two county's away to deal with family emergencies.
And I have held jobs for more than six months thank you very much. The last and most recent ones were not as long granted. But yeah I have had them, and due to certain issues between me and the organization I worked for, namely safety concerns, unemployment hearings, and ultimately making them look like assholes in front of a judge I have been shall we say black balled in certain areas for work.
Let's see I have applied at warehouses, retail stores, kiosks, general labor, lawn care and snow removal, fast food, data entry, customer service and telemarketing. Oh and before you say did you try paper boy? Yeah I did turns out you need insurance on your car to deliver the paper, which we do not have...yet.
So there you have it kitten was trying to be nice, I don't care if I came off nice or not. This is a frustrating enough situation to be in without having to come online and see everyone else magic cures for our financial woes that we have already tried and found out they didn't work. Why like I said earlier is it kitten does a normal everyday post and no one so much as blinks much less comments. But a post like this and everyone comes at you from everywhere going have you tried...have you tried... YEAH WE HAVE!!! And in most cases repeatedly.
I'm just frustrated at the situation, kitten read over my post and said I may have come off as dickish. I just didn't want to come off as lashing out to her readers. But honestly folks yeah we have tried pretty much everything. See on top of worrying about gas, criminal record, I used to move around a lot with left me with a lot of jobs but all for short periods of time. So combine that last factor with a criminal record and would you hire me? I mean I can see their point, and I am in no way saying I didn't do it all to myself along the way. But hindsight is 20/20 I can only try and pull up and over the situation. So that is what I am doing everyday. So yeah there it is sorry if I came off as dickish to people on my kittens blog. Let the berating of my words begin..lol
ReplyDeleteHi, I am the same person who wondered why your Master couldn't get a part-time job, and after reading what your Master wrote I could understand the problems he's been facing a lot better. I'm sorry if i came across as aggressive, but it was not my aim to attack him, and I appreciate him writing back. I'm not from the US, and the stringent background checks came as a complete surprise to me.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading what your Master wrote, I was thinking, in many countries (especially mine) you can work from home and do a lot of work online (data entry, transcribing, typing, or making marketing calls etc). The pay isn't great but it still brings in quite a bit. Is that possible to do in your country? In my country, you don't even have a face-to-face interview for these jobs, let alone background checks. And there's no travel involved at all. You get paid based simply on the amount of typing you have done, or the number of marketing calls you've made. Could that work for you in any way?
Hi Anon..lol.. sorry didn't know what else to call you. I also apologize for coming at that as I did. Just was a frustrating few days and I came at it wrong.
ReplyDeleteThere are some telemarketing positions that you can do from home if you can find the non pyramid scheme ones, or commission based pay (I'm not a great salesman). I have tried doing one of the legit ones. Unfortunately it was through a temp agency and half way through training they scrapped the whole project due to some tech issue between how their home stuff was set up and what we were learning on. So all that training went right out the window. The company was supposed to resolve the issues and continue the training, but in the end went with another firm. So I know the legit versions of those jobs are out there getting into one is another matter entirely. Seems everyone wants the telecommute these days, so finding one that is legit and getting in at the right time I haven't been able to pull off since that one instance. Still looking into it though, would be awesome to find.