October 22, 2011

Long But Good Day

I got up at 6am and was at work by 7am. I was really hoping to get caught up on some things that had piled up on me. However, the vast majority of what I wanted to get done I couldn't because the website I use to get such things done was down for maintenance and there had been no announcement on that what-so-fucking-ever. That annoyed the hell out of me.

So I basically did bullshit work for five hours. All the time I missed is now made up and then some. Once I got out of work I drove down to my hometown. I visited with my grandfather for a while. I haven't seen him in quite some time. He's becoming some what of a shut in. He just wants to be with himself and his dog most of the time. The visit was both really nice, and really sad. It was great to catch up with him; but then certain things just broke my heart.

We started talking about family and he wandered over to his fireplace. On the mantle he has pictures all over the place. Some of them are older, like when my dad and uncle were little boys. This is where the sad part comes in. He started confusing the relationship from the person/people in the photograph to me. He called my nephews my sons. He called my grandmother (his wife) my aunt. He said that his son (my father) was his cousin. It was just really, really heart breaking. I didn't correct him. It felt awkward as it was and my grandfather is a very proud man. I felt it would have made it worse if I tried to correct him. When we had just been talking he got it all right. But when the photos came into it he suddenly was getting it wrong, but didn't seem confused at all. It was... uncomfortable. I don't like seeing him like this, but until they figure out what to do about his heart and possible pace maker I don't think it's going to improve. His heart is not pumping out enough blood and isn't doing it quickly enough, from what he said his doctors had told him.

Still though, it was great to see him. After that I visited my mother. She had some errands to run and she didn't have the car so she asked me to take her. I was more than happy to. We caught up a bit while I was driving us around. It was very relaxing.

After I dropped her back off I headed home. I got home around 4:30pm, so not too bad. Master and I had one errand to run when I got home. So we headed out and by the time we finally were in the door for good my shoulders were absolutely killing me. After we ate dinner Master was kind enough to work on my shoulders and now they are a bit numb and tingly feeling. I'm going to take that as a good sign. I'm surprised I haven't totally crashed yet. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I've been up since 6am. Hopefully I won't crash and burn later. I'm hoping to just be able to relax and go to bed because I'm ready to, rather than my body shutting down and forcing me to go lay down.

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