Last night while Master and I were relaxing the power went out. It was out for two hours. It came back on around 8pm. No big deal. Then it blinked out again. Ten minutes later it came back on. Then it went out. This went on for a total of four times.
By the time it came back on and stayed on I was pissed. So I called the electric company. No explanation. Bad customer service. So I ask for a supervisor. Long story short what happens was I had requested they call after 5:30pm today. Dude didn't write the ticket correctly so they called at 10am. I call them back when I get home and no supervisor was available. So I was more pissed. Finally a supervisor calls me back a few hours later and explains everything, apologizes, and is going to be sending me compensation for my aggravation and shitty customer service experience.
So that at least ended well.
But now it seems that I need to have a conversation with Dr. L when I see him in two weeks regarding my medication. I like the meds I'm on, and I know damn well it's not a fix all but I think I might need something to supplement when I'm going through a lot of shit. Like today I was stressed out to the max about different things all at one time and I felt like I was cycling a bit and it was pretty quick. So I want to know if there is something I can take in moments like those to help me get my grip back. He may just tell me it's normal and no more meds are needed. I don't know. I'm still new to all this. I've been on my meds for a while now, but I don't know everything about my disorder. And I doubt I will. But I'm educating myself as best I can.
My journey through life, love, submission, & pain. Mature & graphic content.
March 31, 2011
March 29, 2011
Work = Glue?
Apparently after having four days off of work I start falling apart. Who knew that my job was helping keep my body from crumbling piece by piece. It's not just the paycheck anymore, it's now so I don't leave vital parts of myself all over the damn place.
The past four days were a lot of fun. We didn't do much, but we enjoyed our time together. I couldn't go to bed on time last night so Master allowed me to stay up a bit. He then had to pry me away from the computer. Thankfully He totally made it worth it by fucking me. It was one of those slow but intense fucks. We don't have those often, so it was an experience to say the least.
I drifted off to sleep shortly there after. My alarm startled me awake this morning at the ass crack of dawn. It was very tempting (now that I know I have time to use at work) to just take the dog out, call my supervisor and tell Him I wasn't coming in, and go right back to bed. Plus who doesn't like the idea of having 5 days off in a row? Then again from my above comments if I had taken the day off work my right arm might be somewhere in the hallway right now. And then I'd be pissed because I'm right-handed. I'd have to have it reattached by Master, which is a scary thought in and of itself. Fuck medical bills, get the super glue.
So why all this rambling about falling apart? I'll tell you why. Not that you care or anything... In fact you're probably bored already. Sorry about that.
After I took the dog outside the cold air woke me up a bit and I realized I had a hell of a temple headache. Fun. I took some Tylenol and sat down waiting for my carpool to show up. As soon as I got in the car I noticed my stomach was kind of grumbly. Not in an "I'm fucking hungry," sort of way. Just... grumbly. I thought, that's okay.. no big deal.
Then I got to work and had less than half a cup of coffee before I started feeling nauseous. So I set the coffee aside and switched to water. And that's all I drank all day. Water. No caffeine means the headache got worse but my stomach slowly started calming down. Hell of a trade off. Thankfully I didn't actually get sick. But as soon as the nausea started going away I got these shooting pains in the right side of my back. It started right above my right hip and shot up into my ribcage.
Those didn't really go fully away until after I was home.
So yeah, I'm falling apart. Joy.
The past four days were a lot of fun. We didn't do much, but we enjoyed our time together. I couldn't go to bed on time last night so Master allowed me to stay up a bit. He then had to pry me away from the computer. Thankfully He totally made it worth it by fucking me. It was one of those slow but intense fucks. We don't have those often, so it was an experience to say the least.
I drifted off to sleep shortly there after. My alarm startled me awake this morning at the ass crack of dawn. It was very tempting (now that I know I have time to use at work) to just take the dog out, call my supervisor and tell Him I wasn't coming in, and go right back to bed. Plus who doesn't like the idea of having 5 days off in a row? Then again from my above comments if I had taken the day off work my right arm might be somewhere in the hallway right now. And then I'd be pissed because I'm right-handed. I'd have to have it reattached by Master, which is a scary thought in and of itself. Fuck medical bills, get the super glue.
So why all this rambling about falling apart? I'll tell you why. Not that you care or anything... In fact you're probably bored already. Sorry about that.
After I took the dog outside the cold air woke me up a bit and I realized I had a hell of a temple headache. Fun. I took some Tylenol and sat down waiting for my carpool to show up. As soon as I got in the car I noticed my stomach was kind of grumbly. Not in an "I'm fucking hungry," sort of way. Just... grumbly. I thought, that's okay.. no big deal.
Then I got to work and had less than half a cup of coffee before I started feeling nauseous. So I set the coffee aside and switched to water. And that's all I drank all day. Water. No caffeine means the headache got worse but my stomach slowly started calming down. Hell of a trade off. Thankfully I didn't actually get sick. But as soon as the nausea started going away I got these shooting pains in the right side of my back. It started right above my right hip and shot up into my ribcage.
Those didn't really go fully away until after I was home.
So yeah, I'm falling apart. Joy.
March 28, 2011
Wisdom From An Elder
Both of my grandmothers are no longer on this Earth. My maternal grandmother passed away before I was even born. She died when my mother was only 13 years old. My paternal grandmother passed away when I was 9 years old. Both of my grandfathers are still kicking. They are both the same age, 73.
My maternal grandfather lives in Texas. I don't know him very well. He moved down there when I was 3 months old. He's a big rig driver. Even at his age he's still trucking along and doing what he needs to do. He's had a rough life. He had to drop out of school in the 5th grade in order to get a job and help support his parents and siblings. He never went back to school and he's been working nonstop since then. So while I don't know him very well, I have a lot of respect for him.
My paternal grandfather I've known my entire life. He's always been a part of my life, although less and less these past few years as he's slowly becoming a shut-in. He takes care of himself and his dog, and that's about it. But I understand. When you get to be his age you've damn well earned the right to do what the fuck you want.
Well today I called him. He had sent us an anniversary card and we got it the day after our anniversary. I should have called him sooner but I knew that he had a few doctor appointments recently and was tired from them. So anyway, today I called him.
I had woken him up. It was about 3pm. I apologized for waking him but he said it was okay because he had to get up anyway to go to a wake for his friend. I told him I was sorry to hear that and he said it was okay, I didn't know the person.. etc and so on. It was an uncomfortable way to start a conversation when I haven't spoken to him since Christmas. But Grandpa started the ball rolling by asking how we were. I told him that I've been at my job two years, Master is looking for work, and that we've been married for four years now. That's when I thanked him for the card. He said it was no problem at all. He laughed when I said four years of marriage. Not in a mean way or anything. He just chuckled and said, "So you're an old married couple now?" I laughed and said that yes we were.
We talked about family stuff, about the economy, about his health. He told me not to worry, that Master would find a job. He said that the economy sucks everywhere in the area and that sooner or later something had to give. I said thank you. He asked me a bit about my job and I said how I've made it two years there, and how I feel I'm making decent money but it's still tight. He told me to hang in there, and if need be find a job that pays better and is possibly closer to home. I said that had crossed my mind but I don't want to be low man on the pole again. He understood where I was coming from. This man used to work 3 jobs at one time when my father and uncle were knee high to a grasshopper. He also worked his main job for more than 30 years. He retired early and has been enjoying his retirement since.
In reference to my job and the possibility of finding a higher paying job, he told me not to worry, that I would figure it out. He said you just have to learn when to jump ship. When it's safe and when it's smart. You don't want to leave a secure job to go to a higher paying job that has a higher turn around rate. Another thing he said was that sometimes you just need to stick it out and hope that the pay gets higher and sometimes you need to move closer to your job.
Without going into a lot of details (which I already have) he basically threw every possible scenario at me. I think I sounded overwhelmed or something at the end of that list cause I didn't respond right away. What he said next meant a lot to me. He said, "Don't worry about it. You're a smart kid, smarter than your father, you'll figure it out and make the right decisions."
Now that remark about my father might seem mean. But my dad is a very unpredictable man. He has a temper to him and when he doesn't like something he tells his boss off. Not a smart way of handling things. He spends money he doesn't have to get stuff he wants and then has to call my grandfather (and a time or two myself or my brother) to pay his bills. Now I may have a problem paying for unexpected expenses but I always pay the money back within an agreed amount of time.
The conversation ended well and we said "I love you" and hung up.
Now I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about my job. I honestly enjoy my job and I make a decent pay. But I'm pretty sure most people want more money, especially when bills get more expensive, gas prices go up, as well as the price of groceries. You start thinking to yourself, "I need to make more money."
A 2nd job with my work schedule is not really workable. My therapist doesn't think a 2nd job would be good for me. She said the more I spread myself thin, the higher my stress levels will be and the more my mind will start to spin and mood swings will get worse. Not to mention self-destructive thoughts will start creeping in again. All of this regardless of the fact that I'm on medication.
I'm up for a review. My work anniversary was last week. So I'll hopefully get my review soon and find out how much my raise is.
My maternal grandfather lives in Texas. I don't know him very well. He moved down there when I was 3 months old. He's a big rig driver. Even at his age he's still trucking along and doing what he needs to do. He's had a rough life. He had to drop out of school in the 5th grade in order to get a job and help support his parents and siblings. He never went back to school and he's been working nonstop since then. So while I don't know him very well, I have a lot of respect for him.
My paternal grandfather I've known my entire life. He's always been a part of my life, although less and less these past few years as he's slowly becoming a shut-in. He takes care of himself and his dog, and that's about it. But I understand. When you get to be his age you've damn well earned the right to do what the fuck you want.
Well today I called him. He had sent us an anniversary card and we got it the day after our anniversary. I should have called him sooner but I knew that he had a few doctor appointments recently and was tired from them. So anyway, today I called him.
I had woken him up. It was about 3pm. I apologized for waking him but he said it was okay because he had to get up anyway to go to a wake for his friend. I told him I was sorry to hear that and he said it was okay, I didn't know the person.. etc and so on. It was an uncomfortable way to start a conversation when I haven't spoken to him since Christmas. But Grandpa started the ball rolling by asking how we were. I told him that I've been at my job two years, Master is looking for work, and that we've been married for four years now. That's when I thanked him for the card. He said it was no problem at all. He laughed when I said four years of marriage. Not in a mean way or anything. He just chuckled and said, "So you're an old married couple now?" I laughed and said that yes we were.
We talked about family stuff, about the economy, about his health. He told me not to worry, that Master would find a job. He said that the economy sucks everywhere in the area and that sooner or later something had to give. I said thank you. He asked me a bit about my job and I said how I've made it two years there, and how I feel I'm making decent money but it's still tight. He told me to hang in there, and if need be find a job that pays better and is possibly closer to home. I said that had crossed my mind but I don't want to be low man on the pole again. He understood where I was coming from. This man used to work 3 jobs at one time when my father and uncle were knee high to a grasshopper. He also worked his main job for more than 30 years. He retired early and has been enjoying his retirement since.
In reference to my job and the possibility of finding a higher paying job, he told me not to worry, that I would figure it out. He said you just have to learn when to jump ship. When it's safe and when it's smart. You don't want to leave a secure job to go to a higher paying job that has a higher turn around rate. Another thing he said was that sometimes you just need to stick it out and hope that the pay gets higher and sometimes you need to move closer to your job.
Without going into a lot of details (which I already have) he basically threw every possible scenario at me. I think I sounded overwhelmed or something at the end of that list cause I didn't respond right away. What he said next meant a lot to me. He said, "Don't worry about it. You're a smart kid, smarter than your father, you'll figure it out and make the right decisions."
Now that remark about my father might seem mean. But my dad is a very unpredictable man. He has a temper to him and when he doesn't like something he tells his boss off. Not a smart way of handling things. He spends money he doesn't have to get stuff he wants and then has to call my grandfather (and a time or two myself or my brother) to pay his bills. Now I may have a problem paying for unexpected expenses but I always pay the money back within an agreed amount of time.
The conversation ended well and we said "I love you" and hung up.
Now I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about my job. I honestly enjoy my job and I make a decent pay. But I'm pretty sure most people want more money, especially when bills get more expensive, gas prices go up, as well as the price of groceries. You start thinking to yourself, "I need to make more money."
A 2nd job with my work schedule is not really workable. My therapist doesn't think a 2nd job would be good for me. She said the more I spread myself thin, the higher my stress levels will be and the more my mind will start to spin and mood swings will get worse. Not to mention self-destructive thoughts will start creeping in again. All of this regardless of the fact that I'm on medication.
I'm up for a review. My work anniversary was last week. So I'll hopefully get my review soon and find out how much my raise is.
March 26, 2011
Blah Blah Blah
Honestly I don't really have a lot to talk about right now. I ended up passing out on the couch last night during a movie and was woken up by Master at 3am to go to bed, where I again passed out.
We haven't done anything today besides our usual of sitting at home, joking around, and watching Netflix.
There isn't anything on my mind and no worries at this moment. So quite literally, I have nothing to blog about.
Maybe later if something comes to me.
We haven't done anything today besides our usual of sitting at home, joking around, and watching Netflix.
There isn't anything on my mind and no worries at this moment. So quite literally, I have nothing to blog about.
Maybe later if something comes to me.
March 25, 2011
Dogs Don't Have Snooze Buttons
Normally during the work week I take the dog out because I'm getting up to go to work anyway. Then on the weekends Master takes him out so that I can sleep in a bit. But since today was technically still part of the work week I took the dog out. Even with that though the pup let me sleep past my normal alarm.
I had planned on getting up, taking out the dog, and then going back to sleep for a while. That was the plan. It didn't quite work that way. I took the dog out, came back in and went back to bed. But the dog decided, "Hey this isn't right. You're supposed to be leaving!" and wouldn't stop climbing up onto the bed and bugging me. And that's with both Master and myself telling him to go lay down. Master had no problems going back to sleep after telling the dog to lay down, but I couldn't sleep after about the fifth fucking time.
So I got up. I wasn't too happy about it though. I didn't want to lock the dog in his crate. It's a nice crate and all, but I didn't want him locked up cause that's only used for when we leave the apartment.
So I chilled online and tried to be quiet so that Master could continue sleeping. Eventually He got up and we have spent the entire day relaxing and watching Netflix. It's been really nice.
Although to be quite honest I kept thinking that today was Saturday. I had to keep reminding myself that I have three more days off! Hopefully it goes by as slowly as today did.
I had planned on getting up, taking out the dog, and then going back to sleep for a while. That was the plan. It didn't quite work that way. I took the dog out, came back in and went back to bed. But the dog decided, "Hey this isn't right. You're supposed to be leaving!" and wouldn't stop climbing up onto the bed and bugging me. And that's with both Master and myself telling him to go lay down. Master had no problems going back to sleep after telling the dog to lay down, but I couldn't sleep after about the fifth fucking time.
So I got up. I wasn't too happy about it though. I didn't want to lock the dog in his crate. It's a nice crate and all, but I didn't want him locked up cause that's only used for when we leave the apartment.
So I chilled online and tried to be quiet so that Master could continue sleeping. Eventually He got up and we have spent the entire day relaxing and watching Netflix. It's been really nice.
Although to be quite honest I kept thinking that today was Saturday. I had to keep reminding myself that I have three more days off! Hopefully it goes by as slowly as today did.
March 24, 2011
Playing Hooky - Kinda
I had scheduled to take tomorrow (Friday) and Monday off of work. Why? Well I haven't had a day off that wasn't a holiday or a blizzard in a while. In other words, I wasn't on my own schedule. I was on my job's schedule. Now don't get me wrong. I love my job. It's annoying sometimes, but I really do find my job interesting. And that's rare these days. But still, it's nice to take time off just because you want to.
Now, it was my own fault. I had ran out of vacation/personal time three months prior to my time renewal. But still. It's nice to finally have it back.
So this whole week has been dragging ass. Why? Because I knew damn well that I had a four day weekend coming up. And I was busting my tail trying to make sure all of my work was caught up so I wouldn't be totally slammed on Tuesday. Well I did too good of a job. I was out of work by 1:30pm. And I was supposed to be there until 5pm. Ugh.
So I got a little restless and I called Master. I asked if He would be willing to pick me up early. He said sure thing. So I asked my supervisor if I could leave at 3:30pm and he said that wouldn't be a problem. Yay for an extended weekend getting extended even further! Now granted it's only a couple of hours, but it still counts!
So that's why I put the "Kinda" part in the title. I'm playing hooky, but not really because it was prearranged. I'm still enjoying it and I get more time with Master! Yay!
All I know for sure is that I am sleeping in tomorrow. I'm sleeping in on a Friday. That is so awesome.
Now, it was my own fault. I had ran out of vacation/personal time three months prior to my time renewal. But still. It's nice to finally have it back.
So this whole week has been dragging ass. Why? Because I knew damn well that I had a four day weekend coming up. And I was busting my tail trying to make sure all of my work was caught up so I wouldn't be totally slammed on Tuesday. Well I did too good of a job. I was out of work by 1:30pm. And I was supposed to be there until 5pm. Ugh.
So I got a little restless and I called Master. I asked if He would be willing to pick me up early. He said sure thing. So I asked my supervisor if I could leave at 3:30pm and he said that wouldn't be a problem. Yay for an extended weekend getting extended even further! Now granted it's only a couple of hours, but it still counts!
So that's why I put the "Kinda" part in the title. I'm playing hooky, but not really because it was prearranged. I'm still enjoying it and I get more time with Master! Yay!
All I know for sure is that I am sleeping in tomorrow. I'm sleeping in on a Friday. That is so awesome.
March 23, 2011
Catch Up
Last night I couldn't access my blog. Well, that's not entirely true. I could read my blog but I couldn't post because I couldn't log in. Eventually it was fixed, but by the time I noticed it Master told me not to worry about it.
So here I am playing catch up, and I feel like I don't have a lot to talk about. That also is not entirely true. On our anniversary (Monday) Master and I retired to the bedroom and had some really awesome anniversary sex. I had asked Him to go down on me and He did. I swear it was the best licking I've ever had. It was like everything He was doing was pure magic. I had to keep telling myself not to cum just so it wouldn't stop. It's not that just because I get off Master stops, it's just that by the time I am coming down from my orgasm my clit is overly sensitive and I wince at each light brushing.
Eventually I couldn't hold back anymore. I got off, and I got off hard. Then it was Master's turn to have His way with me. The sex was also amazing. It lasted a long time and again every movement was just... perfect. I don't know how else to describe it. It was just one of those nights where everything was clicking.
When we were done Master kissed my forehead and told me to curl up and get some sleep. He decided to stay up a little while longer. So I got comfortable in our bed and was soon fast asleep. It wasn't one of those nights where I gradually relaxed and fell asleep. It was one of those nights where the moment I was comfortable I was out like a light.
So while we didn't do much for our anniversary, it was still really nice. We did our own things while still talking, we watched some Netflix together, we joked around and just enjoyed the evening. And then of course there is the sex I talked about earlier in the post.
We don't need a lot of big hoopla to have a nice anniversary. We just needed each other.
So here I am playing catch up, and I feel like I don't have a lot to talk about. That also is not entirely true. On our anniversary (Monday) Master and I retired to the bedroom and had some really awesome anniversary sex. I had asked Him to go down on me and He did. I swear it was the best licking I've ever had. It was like everything He was doing was pure magic. I had to keep telling myself not to cum just so it wouldn't stop. It's not that just because I get off Master stops, it's just that by the time I am coming down from my orgasm my clit is overly sensitive and I wince at each light brushing.
Eventually I couldn't hold back anymore. I got off, and I got off hard. Then it was Master's turn to have His way with me. The sex was also amazing. It lasted a long time and again every movement was just... perfect. I don't know how else to describe it. It was just one of those nights where everything was clicking.
When we were done Master kissed my forehead and told me to curl up and get some sleep. He decided to stay up a little while longer. So I got comfortable in our bed and was soon fast asleep. It wasn't one of those nights where I gradually relaxed and fell asleep. It was one of those nights where the moment I was comfortable I was out like a light.
So while we didn't do much for our anniversary, it was still really nice. We did our own things while still talking, we watched some Netflix together, we joked around and just enjoyed the evening. And then of course there is the sex I talked about earlier in the post.
We don't need a lot of big hoopla to have a nice anniversary. We just needed each other.
March 21, 2011
Happy Anniversary
Today is our anniversary. We got married on our "dating" anniversary. It makes it easier to remember the date, it makes it easier to celebrate it all at one, and it's easier to explain to people how long we have been together vs been married. Not to mention the fact that it means a lot to both of us to have gotten married on our anniversary. Hell we got married on a Wednesday just to make sure we were married on our anniversary. Believe me, a lot of people were not happy about it since that meant they had to leave work early. Well too bad. If you don't care enough to not gripe about taking off work, we don't want you there.
*coughs* Anyway..
As of today Master and I have been together for eight years and married for four of them. Funny how when we first starting dating people said we wouldn't make it past a year.
So... eight years together. That means I've been submitting to Him for 7 1/2 years, as far as out of the bedroom goes. I don't count the in bedroom portion strictly because that was more or less just really kinky sex. It's amazing to think back on it all. We've had ups that were really up, downs that were deep and dark, and everything in between. We've been through so much together, some of it self-inflicted but most of it being things out of our control.
Last night after sex Master and I sat and talked for a little while. It was just past midnight and so I turned to Master and said, "Happy Anniversary!"
He smiled and said, "Not yet."
I looked at Him kind of funny. That was not the response I was expecting. So I said, "Yes it is. It's past midnight. Technically it's the 21st."
His reply? "Nope, we didn't go on our first date until about 5pm and as far as the wedding goes, we didn't get married until 3:30pm."
I laughed and said "Master," in a teasing tone.
He chuckled and finally said, "Happy Anniversary Kitten."
Master knows how much I love Him, how much I appreciate all the shit He's put up with and gone through in order to be by my side and see me through thick and thin. I have done the same, although not always as gracefully as I would have liked. But what matters is that we're both still here, both still very much in love, still having fun, still hot for one another and still giving a simultaneous middle finger to anyone who tries to fuck with us.
*coughs* Anyway..
As of today Master and I have been together for eight years and married for four of them. Funny how when we first starting dating people said we wouldn't make it past a year.
So... eight years together. That means I've been submitting to Him for 7 1/2 years, as far as out of the bedroom goes. I don't count the in bedroom portion strictly because that was more or less just really kinky sex. It's amazing to think back on it all. We've had ups that were really up, downs that were deep and dark, and everything in between. We've been through so much together, some of it self-inflicted but most of it being things out of our control.
Last night after sex Master and I sat and talked for a little while. It was just past midnight and so I turned to Master and said, "Happy Anniversary!"
He smiled and said, "Not yet."
I looked at Him kind of funny. That was not the response I was expecting. So I said, "Yes it is. It's past midnight. Technically it's the 21st."
His reply? "Nope, we didn't go on our first date until about 5pm and as far as the wedding goes, we didn't get married until 3:30pm."
I laughed and said "Master," in a teasing tone.
He chuckled and finally said, "Happy Anniversary Kitten."
Master knows how much I love Him, how much I appreciate all the shit He's put up with and gone through in order to be by my side and see me through thick and thin. I have done the same, although not always as gracefully as I would have liked. But what matters is that we're both still here, both still very much in love, still having fun, still hot for one another and still giving a simultaneous middle finger to anyone who tries to fuck with us.
March 20, 2011
Quick Errands
Last night Master and I retired to the bedroom. We fucked which ended with Master shooting His cum down my throat. Then this morning He rolled me onto my stomach and used me.
After that it got pretty mundane and not too interesting, but it's been enjoyable.
It's been raining for a good part of the day. After we were awake and had some caffeine in us we decided to get the errands done and over with. We went to the pet store first. We got our dog his food and the rabbits their food and litter. The awesome thing was is that their litter was buy one get one free! I was so happy. Yes, I'm weird. I get happy about saving $8. Blame my mother who taught me how to shop.
After the animal stuff was taken care of we decided that we should probably have some food in the house as well. So we went to the grocery store, which thankfully was a quick trip and not too painful for the bank card.
When we got home Master had me take care of the dog while He put away the groceries. Once all that was done we relaxed, and have continued to relax as the day has gone on.
Tomorrow is our anniversary and I have to work. That really, really sucks. Since we've gotten married there has been one time where neither of us had to work on our anniversary, and that's only because it was on a weekend. So three out of four one or both of us have had to work. But that's the reason why I took this upcoming Friday off and next Monday off as well. That way we have an extended weekend together, just the two of us hopefully.
After that it got pretty mundane and not too interesting, but it's been enjoyable.
It's been raining for a good part of the day. After we were awake and had some caffeine in us we decided to get the errands done and over with. We went to the pet store first. We got our dog his food and the rabbits their food and litter. The awesome thing was is that their litter was buy one get one free! I was so happy. Yes, I'm weird. I get happy about saving $8. Blame my mother who taught me how to shop.
After the animal stuff was taken care of we decided that we should probably have some food in the house as well. So we went to the grocery store, which thankfully was a quick trip and not too painful for the bank card.
When we got home Master had me take care of the dog while He put away the groceries. Once all that was done we relaxed, and have continued to relax as the day has gone on.
Tomorrow is our anniversary and I have to work. That really, really sucks. Since we've gotten married there has been one time where neither of us had to work on our anniversary, and that's only because it was on a weekend. So three out of four one or both of us have had to work. But that's the reason why I took this upcoming Friday off and next Monday off as well. That way we have an extended weekend together, just the two of us hopefully.
March 19, 2011
Day With My Family
Today was a day of visiting my family. My parents are divorced, so it meant two different houses. We got up and woke up a little before heading out the door. First was my mother's house. We sat and talked for a while, my brother and I joked around a lot and we genuinely had a good time. We stayed for a few hours before heading over to my father's place.
Thankfully his girlfriend wasn't there the whole time. Master and I both loathe spending time with that woman. She has the most annoying voice and is a fucking idiot. What my dad sees in her I'll never know, and I probably don't want to.
During the time she wasn't there Master, my father and I all sat around, watched TV and joked around. I've said it before I'm sure, but my father sees me more as a friend than he does a daughter. Ever since I was 15 that's just how he's treated me. He loves me, and cares about my safety and happiness as a father should, but other than that it's as if we're just good friends.
During the time that his girlfriend was there, so were her two daughters. They are both younger than me, but not by much. I would say they are both in their very early 20's. The oldest daughter doesn't live there. They were trying to figure out how to get her home because her mother didn't feel like driving her back. So she told her daughter to just take her car and to bring it back tomorrow. She huffed and through a small hissy fit about it but then my father said something that kind of hurt me for some reason. He looked at his girlfriend's daughter and said, "We'll pick it up sweetheart don't worry about it."
Innocent enough right? It was the sweetheart part that got to me. He said it like a father would say it to his child. He doesn't talk to me that way. He hasn't in a very long time. Now this girl is in her 20's so it's not like she's a little kid. But my father talked to her like that anyway, even though he hasn't said anything to me in that way since I was 13. He said I was too old for it.
And the other reason it stung is because I am his daughter and he's known this girl for only a year. Sometimes it's nice having a dad who just wants to hang out and have fun. But there are sometimes I wish he would treat me more like a daughter.
But I didn't let that one little thing ruin my having a good time. We joked around after. And I know it doesn't seem like much, and I'm sure that some of you are wondering why I took something that small so hard, but I did.
I guess I just wish my father and I had a relationship like what my mother and I have. We can be friends and joke around and talk like friends. But she still treats me like her daughter when the need arises, or just because she wants to. My dad just wants to be my friend.
Thankfully his girlfriend wasn't there the whole time. Master and I both loathe spending time with that woman. She has the most annoying voice and is a fucking idiot. What my dad sees in her I'll never know, and I probably don't want to.
During the time she wasn't there Master, my father and I all sat around, watched TV and joked around. I've said it before I'm sure, but my father sees me more as a friend than he does a daughter. Ever since I was 15 that's just how he's treated me. He loves me, and cares about my safety and happiness as a father should, but other than that it's as if we're just good friends.
During the time that his girlfriend was there, so were her two daughters. They are both younger than me, but not by much. I would say they are both in their very early 20's. The oldest daughter doesn't live there. They were trying to figure out how to get her home because her mother didn't feel like driving her back. So she told her daughter to just take her car and to bring it back tomorrow. She huffed and through a small hissy fit about it but then my father said something that kind of hurt me for some reason. He looked at his girlfriend's daughter and said, "We'll pick it up sweetheart don't worry about it."
Innocent enough right? It was the sweetheart part that got to me. He said it like a father would say it to his child. He doesn't talk to me that way. He hasn't in a very long time. Now this girl is in her 20's so it's not like she's a little kid. But my father talked to her like that anyway, even though he hasn't said anything to me in that way since I was 13. He said I was too old for it.
And the other reason it stung is because I am his daughter and he's known this girl for only a year. Sometimes it's nice having a dad who just wants to hang out and have fun. But there are sometimes I wish he would treat me more like a daughter.
But I didn't let that one little thing ruin my having a good time. We joked around after. And I know it doesn't seem like much, and I'm sure that some of you are wondering why I took something that small so hard, but I did.
I guess I just wish my father and I had a relationship like what my mother and I have. We can be friends and joke around and talk like friends. But she still treats me like her daughter when the need arises, or just because she wants to. My dad just wants to be my friend.
March 18, 2011
Hit the Ground Running
I was the only one out of my carpool to go to work today. Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, so they took today off to recover. So I drove myself to work. Thankfully it was my half day, so I only had to work for four hours.
But as soon as I got home Master and I had to leave again. We went to the pet store and got our dog a new chew bone. We then hit another store to pick up some things we needed, and then stopped off and got some snacks. We weren't hungry enough for lunch but we knew we were going to have dinner a little late tonight.
We got back home and munched on our snacks. Shortly there after I had to go to my therapy appointment, which went well. She asked about how my medication was working, how our marriage was doing, etc and so on. She was happy to hear that my meds are working perfectly and that because of such so is our marriage.
She decided that we can space out my therapy appointments to once every two months. The appointment lasted an hour, so by the time I got out it was 5pm. I then had to go to a game store and pick up a birthday present for someone we are seeing tomorrow. So I made it home a little past 5:30pm.
I wasn't hungry right away when I got home so we had dinner closer to 6:30pm. Right after dinner Master was kind enough to work on my shoulders. That made me relax and that's when I realized how tired I was. But I didn't want to pass out at midnight, so I asked Master's permission to take a nap. He granted it, so I went to the bedroom. I had a little bit of a problem falling asleep right away, but finally I was able to nod off. That was around 8pm. I had only meant to sleep for an hour, but next thing I know it's 10pm and Master is sitting on the bed gently waking me up. We took care of the animals, I took my shower, and now it's time to enjoy the rest of the evening with my Master.
Tomorrow is going to be another busy day.
But as soon as I got home Master and I had to leave again. We went to the pet store and got our dog a new chew bone. We then hit another store to pick up some things we needed, and then stopped off and got some snacks. We weren't hungry enough for lunch but we knew we were going to have dinner a little late tonight.
We got back home and munched on our snacks. Shortly there after I had to go to my therapy appointment, which went well. She asked about how my medication was working, how our marriage was doing, etc and so on. She was happy to hear that my meds are working perfectly and that because of such so is our marriage.
She decided that we can space out my therapy appointments to once every two months. The appointment lasted an hour, so by the time I got out it was 5pm. I then had to go to a game store and pick up a birthday present for someone we are seeing tomorrow. So I made it home a little past 5:30pm.
I wasn't hungry right away when I got home so we had dinner closer to 6:30pm. Right after dinner Master was kind enough to work on my shoulders. That made me relax and that's when I realized how tired I was. But I didn't want to pass out at midnight, so I asked Master's permission to take a nap. He granted it, so I went to the bedroom. I had a little bit of a problem falling asleep right away, but finally I was able to nod off. That was around 8pm. I had only meant to sleep for an hour, but next thing I know it's 10pm and Master is sitting on the bed gently waking me up. We took care of the animals, I took my shower, and now it's time to enjoy the rest of the evening with my Master.
Tomorrow is going to be another busy day.
March 17, 2011
Know Your Place
Today I slipped up a bit. I came home from work and got undressed like I always do, and then we ate dinner. Everything was fine. Then after dinner I knelt at His feet while He sat in His recliner while I told Him about my day and we basically just talked about whatever came to mind. Once the conversation stopped I moved to get up and go lay on the couch. You know, get comfy and all that. I wasn't even fully off the ground yet when Master said, "Where do you think you're going?"
I immediately knelt once again and apologized. I had forgotten to ask permission to go to the couch. Now mind you, most of the time Master doesn't care as long as He doesn't have any immediate needs if I excuse myself and go sit or lay on the couch. But tonight He was feeling a bit more "formal", and I had failed to pick up on that.
He didn't punish me or anything along those lines. He just smiled and had me kneel a bit longer. Eventually I had to ask to sit down on the floor, which He granted once I explained that I had banged my knee against a filing cabinet at work.
A little while later He told me I could go ahead and sit on the couch. So I did that and we watched a movie. Once that was done Master had me do my exercises, and then told me to start my other nightly routines which include my blog post and my shower. Before I started on this post however I wanted to check on a few other things online so I asked if I could. He gave me some shit about it, jokingly, but allowed it.
Master has already told me that He wants me to dress up tonight after my shower, but I don't know in what. Sometimes He has a very specific preference, and other times He's just, "Whatever.. put on something slutty."
*giggles*
I immediately knelt once again and apologized. I had forgotten to ask permission to go to the couch. Now mind you, most of the time Master doesn't care as long as He doesn't have any immediate needs if I excuse myself and go sit or lay on the couch. But tonight He was feeling a bit more "formal", and I had failed to pick up on that.
He didn't punish me or anything along those lines. He just smiled and had me kneel a bit longer. Eventually I had to ask to sit down on the floor, which He granted once I explained that I had banged my knee against a filing cabinet at work.
A little while later He told me I could go ahead and sit on the couch. So I did that and we watched a movie. Once that was done Master had me do my exercises, and then told me to start my other nightly routines which include my blog post and my shower. Before I started on this post however I wanted to check on a few other things online so I asked if I could. He gave me some shit about it, jokingly, but allowed it.
Master has already told me that He wants me to dress up tonight after my shower, but I don't know in what. Sometimes He has a very specific preference, and other times He's just, "Whatever.. put on something slutty."
*giggles*
March 16, 2011
Don't Drive Yourself to the Hospital!
People I'm related to either by blood or by marriage are apparently insane and really hate ambulances.
My paternal grandfather drove himself to the hospital (which is an hour drive) in the middle of a heart attack a few years ago. It was so bad that he needed quadruple bypass surgery. He's nuts.
My maternal grandfather was worse. He's a semi truck driver. About two years ago he was on a job and was in Ohio. He got on the road and his chest was hurting but he didn't think anything of it and kept trucking along. Well about half way through his trip back home (Texas) he realized he was having a heart attack. He kept driving until he fucking reached Texas, got all the way home, parked his rig, got in his car, and then drove to the hospital from there.
And then today my mother-in-law added herself to this list of crazy people. She woke up this morning with severe abdominal pain. Her husband was already at work, and was a good 2 1/2 hours away. So what does she do? Does she pick up a phone and call an ambulance? No. Does she call a friend, or even her son (Master)? No. She gets in her car and drives to the hospital. That isn't all though. She drove to a hospital that was further away from her home than need be. There were literally two hospitals closer to her house than the one she went to.
She called Master once she got to the hospital. She said that her husband was on his way, but that she was scared. So Master went down there. He was there until 2pm. Her appendix decided to fuck with her and she had to have it removed. She is being kept over night for observation but she should be back home tomorrow.
I know ambulance rides are fucking expensive.. but come on! There are times where you have to realize that your pocketbook is going to take a hell of a hit, but at least you're safe and not endangering yourself or other people on the road.
Ugh.
My paternal grandfather drove himself to the hospital (which is an hour drive) in the middle of a heart attack a few years ago. It was so bad that he needed quadruple bypass surgery. He's nuts.
My maternal grandfather was worse. He's a semi truck driver. About two years ago he was on a job and was in Ohio. He got on the road and his chest was hurting but he didn't think anything of it and kept trucking along. Well about half way through his trip back home (Texas) he realized he was having a heart attack. He kept driving until he fucking reached Texas, got all the way home, parked his rig, got in his car, and then drove to the hospital from there.
And then today my mother-in-law added herself to this list of crazy people. She woke up this morning with severe abdominal pain. Her husband was already at work, and was a good 2 1/2 hours away. So what does she do? Does she pick up a phone and call an ambulance? No. Does she call a friend, or even her son (Master)? No. She gets in her car and drives to the hospital. That isn't all though. She drove to a hospital that was further away from her home than need be. There were literally two hospitals closer to her house than the one she went to.
She called Master once she got to the hospital. She said that her husband was on his way, but that she was scared. So Master went down there. He was there until 2pm. Her appendix decided to fuck with her and she had to have it removed. She is being kept over night for observation but she should be back home tomorrow.
I know ambulance rides are fucking expensive.. but come on! There are times where you have to realize that your pocketbook is going to take a hell of a hit, but at least you're safe and not endangering yourself or other people on the road.
Ugh.
March 15, 2011
Nap Time?
From the moment I got up this morning I just wanted to crawl back into bed. I slept well, I had at least 7 hours of sleep and yet I was exhausted this morning. On top of that I wasn't feeling the greatest either. My stomach felt like it had a rock in it, and my head felt heavy. It was weird.
The feeling stayed with me through most of the work day too. Ugh. Poor Master had to go to the mechanic and have new brake pads and rotors put on our car. It got an oil change while it was there. Holy fucking hell was that 1 1/2 hours expensive. But oh well. It's done now. They said that our car might be leaking power steering fluid. Joy. I can't afford to fix it if it is, and so I'll just keep checking the levels for now. If anything I might have my father take a look.
Cars seem to be a very stressful subject as of late. Can't afford the car payments on the cars we want to finance. Can afford the car payments on the cars we don't want. And putting money into the car we currently have.
Blah.
Thankfully my stomach is feeling better, but my mind is racing (racing.. car... get it?) and I need to go relax. So I'm off to kneel at Master's feet before I end up spinning slightly out of control internally.
The feeling stayed with me through most of the work day too. Ugh. Poor Master had to go to the mechanic and have new brake pads and rotors put on our car. It got an oil change while it was there. Holy fucking hell was that 1 1/2 hours expensive. But oh well. It's done now. They said that our car might be leaking power steering fluid. Joy. I can't afford to fix it if it is, and so I'll just keep checking the levels for now. If anything I might have my father take a look.
Cars seem to be a very stressful subject as of late. Can't afford the car payments on the cars we want to finance. Can afford the car payments on the cars we don't want. And putting money into the car we currently have.
Blah.
Thankfully my stomach is feeling better, but my mind is racing (racing.. car... get it?) and I need to go relax. So I'm off to kneel at Master's feet before I end up spinning slightly out of control internally.
March 14, 2011
Reality
Yesterday was so wonderful. Master and I had a great day and really enjoyed our time together. It made it hard to get back to reality and shift my mind into work mode. It was a rough shift let me tell you. Gears were grinding for fucks sake.
It doesn't help that we had to set the clocks forward. When the alarm went off this morning I grumbled to myself about how it was really only 5am and I shouldn't have to be awake yet. I hate daylight savings. I sometimes tease Master that we should move to a state that doesn't have daylight savings time. But apparently there are only two states that don't observe daylight savings. Hawaii and Arizona. Yeah. Pretty sure Master wouldn't want to move to either of those places.
Work was slow today. Although I spent most of the morning figuring out things having nothing to do with work. I had to call the car shop a few different times. We are getting the car an oil change and a brake job. Just on the front brakes. I can't afford to do the back as well, and since most of the stopping power is in the front brakes I'll focus on those thank you very much.
I can't go with since I'll be at work so Master will be taking the car in for the appointment. I'm leaving Him my cell phone so He can call me while He's there in case there is a question or a problem.
Finally the work day was done and I was back home with my Master. The evening has been really good. We watched Dolores Claiborne, ate dinner, and that's pretty much it.
I'm not as tired as I thought I would be. I slept well last night but I couldn't fall asleep right way, so I probably got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. I should be exhausted.
It doesn't help that we had to set the clocks forward. When the alarm went off this morning I grumbled to myself about how it was really only 5am and I shouldn't have to be awake yet. I hate daylight savings. I sometimes tease Master that we should move to a state that doesn't have daylight savings time. But apparently there are only two states that don't observe daylight savings. Hawaii and Arizona. Yeah. Pretty sure Master wouldn't want to move to either of those places.
Work was slow today. Although I spent most of the morning figuring out things having nothing to do with work. I had to call the car shop a few different times. We are getting the car an oil change and a brake job. Just on the front brakes. I can't afford to do the back as well, and since most of the stopping power is in the front brakes I'll focus on those thank you very much.
I can't go with since I'll be at work so Master will be taking the car in for the appointment. I'm leaving Him my cell phone so He can call me while He's there in case there is a question or a problem.
Finally the work day was done and I was back home with my Master. The evening has been really good. We watched Dolores Claiborne, ate dinner, and that's pretty much it.
I'm not as tired as I thought I would be. I slept well last night but I couldn't fall asleep right way, so I probably got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. I should be exhausted.
March 13, 2011
Our Version of Relaxing
After the disappointment yesterday at the car dealership, Master and I came home and relaxed. Eventually I calmed down and got over the disappointment, and enjoyed the evening. At one point I was sitting on the floor at Master's feet while He sat in His recliner and we talked about a plan of attack. We figure that if we have more of a down payment than just the trade-in we'll have a better chance at a lower monthly car payment. So we're going to start pulling money out every month and setting it aside as a down payment on a car. We're also going to use what we get back from taxes towards that as well. It won't be much (from the taxes) but that's okay. Eventually we'll get there.
But enough about that.
Master was making me laugh and smiling when I smiled. He was glad to see that I was having a good time and not dwelling on the car situation. When we went to bed we planned on just going to sleep. It had been a long day and we were both tired.
But when He curled up to me His cock was pressing against my ass. I laid still for a moment but it felt good, and soon I was bucking against Him gently. He growled and cupped my tits, playing with them as I continued to rub my ass against Him. He cock grew hard almost instantly, and soon He slipped inside me and was quite rough. He allowed me to cum several times. And at one point He did something He hasn't done in a long time. He took His hand and placed it over my mouth so all I could do was breathe through my nose.
And He even took that away, as He ordered me to have another orgasm He moved His hand up slightly and covered my nose as well. I couldn't breathe. I came, but I started to panic a bit. My rational mind knows that He wouldn't let me suffocate. But I wasn't rational at that moment. I squirmed as He continued to pump into me. He hand remained where it was, and He actually tightened His grip the more I squirmed.
Finally I placed my hand on His and gently tugged. He held it a while longer and then finally released my nose so that I could breathe again. I know it didn't last long, but it felt like it at the time. The odd thing is that I was dripping wet. I'm a sick bitch.
He rolled me onto my stomach, placed pillows under my hips and used me as His fuck toy. I talked dirty to Him, and He seemed to love it. I don't do that very often. I don't want to sound like a bad porno, and I don't want Him to laugh at me. I know He won't, and I know that He finds it sexy and is a turn on for Him when I talk nasty during sex, but I think it only turns Him on more because it's a rare occasion.
After He filled me with His cum we curled up and passed the hell out.
Today we've done nothing but sit at home, chilled, laughed, and had a good time. I did have to venture out once to pick up my prescription but that's it.
We fucked again earlier today, and Master had me dress up once my shower was done.
He is allowing me to stay up late tonight because of the damn daylight savings bullshit. He knows I won't be able to go to bed on time, so He is being lenient on my bedtime.
I'm probably going to be very tired at work tomorrow but I don't really care at the moment.
But enough about that.
Master was making me laugh and smiling when I smiled. He was glad to see that I was having a good time and not dwelling on the car situation. When we went to bed we planned on just going to sleep. It had been a long day and we were both tired.
But when He curled up to me His cock was pressing against my ass. I laid still for a moment but it felt good, and soon I was bucking against Him gently. He growled and cupped my tits, playing with them as I continued to rub my ass against Him. He cock grew hard almost instantly, and soon He slipped inside me and was quite rough. He allowed me to cum several times. And at one point He did something He hasn't done in a long time. He took His hand and placed it over my mouth so all I could do was breathe through my nose.
And He even took that away, as He ordered me to have another orgasm He moved His hand up slightly and covered my nose as well. I couldn't breathe. I came, but I started to panic a bit. My rational mind knows that He wouldn't let me suffocate. But I wasn't rational at that moment. I squirmed as He continued to pump into me. He hand remained where it was, and He actually tightened His grip the more I squirmed.
Finally I placed my hand on His and gently tugged. He held it a while longer and then finally released my nose so that I could breathe again. I know it didn't last long, but it felt like it at the time. The odd thing is that I was dripping wet. I'm a sick bitch.
He rolled me onto my stomach, placed pillows under my hips and used me as His fuck toy. I talked dirty to Him, and He seemed to love it. I don't do that very often. I don't want to sound like a bad porno, and I don't want Him to laugh at me. I know He won't, and I know that He finds it sexy and is a turn on for Him when I talk nasty during sex, but I think it only turns Him on more because it's a rare occasion.
After He filled me with His cum we curled up and passed the hell out.
Today we've done nothing but sit at home, chilled, laughed, and had a good time. I did have to venture out once to pick up my prescription but that's it.
We fucked again earlier today, and Master had me dress up once my shower was done.
He is allowing me to stay up late tonight because of the damn daylight savings bullshit. He knows I won't be able to go to bed on time, so He is being lenient on my bedtime.
I'm probably going to be very tired at work tomorrow but I don't really care at the moment.
March 12, 2011
Leaning On One Another
Master and I may not always see eye to eye, we may argue, and we may have our problems. But I can not think of anyone else I would rather have in my corner.
I've said in past posts how we make a great team. We take things head on together. And I know I say that a lot here, but it's true and it just.. I don't know how to put it... but basically I see how many couples that we know and how they seem to try and take things on by themselves and don't look to their significant other to help or don't want to accept it when it is offered. Some are dating, some are living together and a few of them are married. And it just makes me appreciate what Master and I have, and how we handle things, all the more.
Today is a good example. I've posted in the past how we have been looking for a newer car. Well today I honestly thought I had found one we could afford. I won't go into a lot of details. But basically what happened is that yes the car dealership did everything they could to help, and they were very kind, and yes we got approved for a loan. However, the payment was not something we could afford. It was pretty damn close, but our budget would have been more tight than I was comfortable with. Basically if something came up such as an unexpected bill or something we needed to replace around the apartment, it would have been extremely difficult to pull it all off. You can't get blood from a stone.
So Master and I made the decision to pass for now. The sales rep was so kind about it. He said that it was a smart decision if we couldn't be sure we could afford it. He said if our finances get better we should come back and he'll do all he can to help us find the right car for us. I'm sure we could have afforded a cheaper car, but it would have had way too many miles and/or be the same age as our current car if not older. And I'm not willing to do that.
I was upset when we left. I cried as soon as we got to the car. Master pulled me close to Him and let me put my head on His shoulder. He wrapped His arm around me and kissed the top of my head. He told me it would be okay. He told me not to stress about it, that He would do that for me. He said that He doesn't like to see me stressed out and just wants to make me feel better. He loves me so much.
I stopped crying and He kissed the top of my head again. I apologized for getting so emotional about it, and He said He understood. I really had my hopes set on this car I saw online. I wanted it very badly, and He said He wishes He could get it for me. He wants to give me what I want, and feels bad that He can't right now. He knows I don't place it all on Him. I know He's trying very hard to find a job. And once He does have one I'm sure we'll be able to afford a car payment.
I know we'll get there. And I really appreciate Master helping me calm down and feel better. He's been trying to cheer me up and making me laugh as often as He can. He was even nice enough to give me a nice long shoulder rub. So I'm going to enjoy the rest of the night.
I've said in past posts how we make a great team. We take things head on together. And I know I say that a lot here, but it's true and it just.. I don't know how to put it... but basically I see how many couples that we know and how they seem to try and take things on by themselves and don't look to their significant other to help or don't want to accept it when it is offered. Some are dating, some are living together and a few of them are married. And it just makes me appreciate what Master and I have, and how we handle things, all the more.
Today is a good example. I've posted in the past how we have been looking for a newer car. Well today I honestly thought I had found one we could afford. I won't go into a lot of details. But basically what happened is that yes the car dealership did everything they could to help, and they were very kind, and yes we got approved for a loan. However, the payment was not something we could afford. It was pretty damn close, but our budget would have been more tight than I was comfortable with. Basically if something came up such as an unexpected bill or something we needed to replace around the apartment, it would have been extremely difficult to pull it all off. You can't get blood from a stone.
So Master and I made the decision to pass for now. The sales rep was so kind about it. He said that it was a smart decision if we couldn't be sure we could afford it. He said if our finances get better we should come back and he'll do all he can to help us find the right car for us. I'm sure we could have afforded a cheaper car, but it would have had way too many miles and/or be the same age as our current car if not older. And I'm not willing to do that.
I was upset when we left. I cried as soon as we got to the car. Master pulled me close to Him and let me put my head on His shoulder. He wrapped His arm around me and kissed the top of my head. He told me it would be okay. He told me not to stress about it, that He would do that for me. He said that He doesn't like to see me stressed out and just wants to make me feel better. He loves me so much.
I stopped crying and He kissed the top of my head again. I apologized for getting so emotional about it, and He said He understood. I really had my hopes set on this car I saw online. I wanted it very badly, and He said He wishes He could get it for me. He wants to give me what I want, and feels bad that He can't right now. He knows I don't place it all on Him. I know He's trying very hard to find a job. And once He does have one I'm sure we'll be able to afford a car payment.
I know we'll get there. And I really appreciate Master helping me calm down and feel better. He's been trying to cheer me up and making me laugh as often as He can. He was even nice enough to give me a nice long shoulder rub. So I'm going to enjoy the rest of the night.
March 11, 2011
Free Pass
In my last post I admitted to having an attitude last night when I first got home, and not correcting myself until I had already been one hell of a brat. I had apologized to Master both verbally and in my post. As the night continued we both calmed down and talked, and enjoyed what was left of our evening. I was exhausted for some reason and ended up falling asleep on the couch.
Master woke me up after an hour or two had passed to make sure I was okay. Normally I don't pass out on the couch unless I'm sick. At least not anymore. So Master was concerned. I explained that for whatever reason I was exhausted. It might be because of having a couple of long weeks at work. Plus my carpool had been leaving early for the past four weeks so I've been getting up earlier than usual and starting work early as well. I think it had all just caught up with me basically. I said I was feeling okay, just tired. So He let me go back to sleep on the couch. When He was ready for bed He woke me up, we went to the bedroom and He curled up to me as I drifted back to sleep.
This morning I woke up and there was a message from Master waiting for me.
I was glad that He had accepted my apology. I was also grateful that He gave me that free pass. I fucked up pretty bad last night. I was rolling my eyes, talking back, had a tone in my voice.. basically the whole nine yards. As He stated in His note to me it is the first major warning I have needed since starting my medication. He's had to remind me about my tone or something along those lines, but nothing too severe.
Last night I went too far, and I know it. I knew it when I wrote my post. So now that I have been on my medication for a while and I'm use to them, He is letting me know He's not using kid gloves anymore. I knew it would come sooner or later, and now it's here. I'm not saying it's too soon or anything of that nature. I'm just simply saying that I knew it would happen.
I am glad that He will allow me to calmly explain my reactions if something happens in the future, and I know that He is fair and will listen to said explanation and see if my actions were justified.
I wrote Him back and thanked Him so He would know that I read His note and that I understood. He didn't hold last night against me. He had warned me, and it was over with. When I got home from work He gave me a hug and we've been having a great evening together.
Master woke me up after an hour or two had passed to make sure I was okay. Normally I don't pass out on the couch unless I'm sick. At least not anymore. So Master was concerned. I explained that for whatever reason I was exhausted. It might be because of having a couple of long weeks at work. Plus my carpool had been leaving early for the past four weeks so I've been getting up earlier than usual and starting work early as well. I think it had all just caught up with me basically. I said I was feeling okay, just tired. So He let me go back to sleep on the couch. When He was ready for bed He woke me up, we went to the bedroom and He curled up to me as I drifted back to sleep.
This morning I woke up and there was a message from Master waiting for me.
Hon,
While I read your blog post and do accept your apology and acknowledge I was perhaps not in the best of moods to begin with I do apologize. However such blatant disregard for your role or Mine within this dynamic will not be tolerated any longer in tone, action or attitude. If you are provoked I expect you to calmly explain to me as best you can the circumstances surrounding such breach of etiquette as it stands, if you just lash out on the other hand punishment will be swift your ass will be red from 100 lashes of the belt and you will be sleeping on the floor for a couple weeks without consideration to your comfort level, failing this you will be reduced to normal wife status and that will simply be that. this is the first major warning I have had to give since you started your medication and while I accept my part in this I can not readily accept your actions that followed. This is your one free pass , don't test me or push me like that again. You know your role you know your place I expect you to act accordingly.
I do love you,
Me
I was glad that He had accepted my apology. I was also grateful that He gave me that free pass. I fucked up pretty bad last night. I was rolling my eyes, talking back, had a tone in my voice.. basically the whole nine yards. As He stated in His note to me it is the first major warning I have needed since starting my medication. He's had to remind me about my tone or something along those lines, but nothing too severe.
Last night I went too far, and I know it. I knew it when I wrote my post. So now that I have been on my medication for a while and I'm use to them, He is letting me know He's not using kid gloves anymore. I knew it would come sooner or later, and now it's here. I'm not saying it's too soon or anything of that nature. I'm just simply saying that I knew it would happen.
I am glad that He will allow me to calmly explain my reactions if something happens in the future, and I know that He is fair and will listen to said explanation and see if my actions were justified.
I wrote Him back and thanked Him so He would know that I read His note and that I understood. He didn't hold last night against me. He had warned me, and it was over with. When I got home from work He gave me a hug and we've been having a great evening together.
March 10, 2011
Snippy
I'm having a long week. I've worked overtime all last week and all this week. Although this week seems to be worse. Why, I have no idea. But I was tired and just blah when I got home today. Master was also not in the best of moods because of some various things that happened today.
However I'm the one that started with the attitude. I rolled my eyes when He was talking and I got snippy with Him. He reacted in kind and it went back and forth for a little while until we were both just sitting down, eating, and not talking.
I felt bad for how I acted. Just because I'm having a bit of a rough week doesn't mean I should take it out on Him. Plus, I've been having a rough week for the past three days and I have been good when I got home. So why tonight? I don't know.
And like I said it's not like I was reacting to something He did and/or said either. I'm the one that started the chain reaction. Bad Kitten.
So I'm determined to have a better attitude this evening and be a good girl and try to help my Master relax.
However I'm the one that started with the attitude. I rolled my eyes when He was talking and I got snippy with Him. He reacted in kind and it went back and forth for a little while until we were both just sitting down, eating, and not talking.
I felt bad for how I acted. Just because I'm having a bit of a rough week doesn't mean I should take it out on Him. Plus, I've been having a rough week for the past three days and I have been good when I got home. So why tonight? I don't know.
And like I said it's not like I was reacting to something He did and/or said either. I'm the one that started the chain reaction. Bad Kitten.
So I'm determined to have a better attitude this evening and be a good girl and try to help my Master relax.
March 9, 2011
Back Stage Pass
There are some things that you don't tell anyone. You don't tell your mother, your father, your best friend, your therapist even. And you would think that you would tell your therapist everything, so that they can help you. I have a therapist (someone I just talk to, but can't prescribe medicine or give a diagnosis) and I also have a shrink (I talk to him as well, but he can give a diagnosis and prescribe medicine). I do not tell them everything. I don't share some random thoughts, impulses, or darker desires.
Why not you ask? Well I don't hide anything that could help them help me. It's just that there is some shit they don't need to know. I have this weird thing about letting people into my head. I'd never fully opened the curtain and shown anyone everything that's going on back stage. It's part of the reason why I was so scared of starting therapy and getting help. I'm not regretting it by any means, I'm just saying that when I called to make my first appointment I was nervous as hell. I had bad experiences in the past with shrinks.
But the bad experiences with past shrinks isn't what made me reluctant to let people back stage. I have been that way for as long as I can remember. I know that there are some things that I think or fantasize about that are what most people would consider weird or wrong or just down right crazy. I knew that from a pretty young age. Not that I'm bat shit fucking psycho or anything. I'm not. But it's just some thoughts that creep into my head that I knew if I voiced them I would bring a whole lot of attention my way, and not the good kind of attention. The "There is something seriously fucking wrong with you," kind of attention.
Some of it was/is kink related. That is one thing I have not told my therapist or my shrink. I have talked about my high sex drive, as my shrink has encouraged me discuss it with my therapist since it is related to my bipolar disorder. But I don't know if they are kink friendly, and I don't think it really plays a part in getting help, so I just leave it be.
But there are other things that go on inside my head that I don't talk about, write about, or otherwise admit to.
With one exception.
Master.
It took a while for me to start telling Him everything. At first it was because I wasn't sure how He would take it. And then once I knew He wouldn't reject me or try and throw me in the nice padded room with a hug me jacket, I still waited. I wasn't sure how to open the curtain all the way. I had never done it before. Now granted, when I met Him I was a whopping 20 years old. But I still had trouble with it. I would say it was at about the year mark of our relationship that I started pulling the curtain back more and more. I wasn't hiding anything from Him. My not telling Him these things was not effecting our relationship in any way. But I love Him. And I wanted Him to have a full access pass to my mind, body and soul. And so finally I told myself that I should just do it, and if anything bad happens because of it, then it's better to find out now rather than later on down the road.
And so I did. I basically handed Him the invisible back stage pass and He loved me more because of it. And He did the same in return. There are things I know about Him that His best friends of 20+ years don't know. There are things about me that He knows that people who have known me my whole life don't know.
And I think that's the reason why we work so well together, and at least part of the reason why we're coming up on eight years together in less than two weeks. It's why we can communicate in a crowded room, surrounded by family and/or friends, without anyone realizing it because we haven't said a fucking word. And that connection only gets stronger as the years go by, as we continue to share anything that is going on in our heads.
It was difficult to let the curtain shake the dust off and let Him walk past it. It scared me to do it. But it's the best decision I've made in my life. The second best decision I made was marrying Him.
Why not you ask? Well I don't hide anything that could help them help me. It's just that there is some shit they don't need to know. I have this weird thing about letting people into my head. I'd never fully opened the curtain and shown anyone everything that's going on back stage. It's part of the reason why I was so scared of starting therapy and getting help. I'm not regretting it by any means, I'm just saying that when I called to make my first appointment I was nervous as hell. I had bad experiences in the past with shrinks.
But the bad experiences with past shrinks isn't what made me reluctant to let people back stage. I have been that way for as long as I can remember. I know that there are some things that I think or fantasize about that are what most people would consider weird or wrong or just down right crazy. I knew that from a pretty young age. Not that I'm bat shit fucking psycho or anything. I'm not. But it's just some thoughts that creep into my head that I knew if I voiced them I would bring a whole lot of attention my way, and not the good kind of attention. The "There is something seriously fucking wrong with you," kind of attention.
Some of it was/is kink related. That is one thing I have not told my therapist or my shrink. I have talked about my high sex drive, as my shrink has encouraged me discuss it with my therapist since it is related to my bipolar disorder. But I don't know if they are kink friendly, and I don't think it really plays a part in getting help, so I just leave it be.
But there are other things that go on inside my head that I don't talk about, write about, or otherwise admit to.
With one exception.
Master.
It took a while for me to start telling Him everything. At first it was because I wasn't sure how He would take it. And then once I knew He wouldn't reject me or try and throw me in the nice padded room with a hug me jacket, I still waited. I wasn't sure how to open the curtain all the way. I had never done it before. Now granted, when I met Him I was a whopping 20 years old. But I still had trouble with it. I would say it was at about the year mark of our relationship that I started pulling the curtain back more and more. I wasn't hiding anything from Him. My not telling Him these things was not effecting our relationship in any way. But I love Him. And I wanted Him to have a full access pass to my mind, body and soul. And so finally I told myself that I should just do it, and if anything bad happens because of it, then it's better to find out now rather than later on down the road.
And so I did. I basically handed Him the invisible back stage pass and He loved me more because of it. And He did the same in return. There are things I know about Him that His best friends of 20+ years don't know. There are things about me that He knows that people who have known me my whole life don't know.
And I think that's the reason why we work so well together, and at least part of the reason why we're coming up on eight years together in less than two weeks. It's why we can communicate in a crowded room, surrounded by family and/or friends, without anyone realizing it because we haven't said a fucking word. And that connection only gets stronger as the years go by, as we continue to share anything that is going on in our heads.
It was difficult to let the curtain shake the dust off and let Him walk past it. It scared me to do it. But it's the best decision I've made in my life. The second best decision I made was marrying Him.
March 8, 2011
It's Only Tuesday?! Fuck.
And now we bring you the longest week ever....
Okay so I'm being dramatic and over exaggerating. I know that. But seriously it feels like this week is taking forever. Yesterday kicked my ass and while today was a bit better, it still sucked. I don't really know what to write about. I worked 9+ hours today. I came home, we ate dinner and then Master played His video games and I went online.
Exciting huh?
I'm not complaining honestly, it's just that today I'm in kind of a blah mood and Master has a headache and His back is bothering Him. So it's just one of those nights where we each do our own thing for a while and maybe later we will do something together. I already did my exercises tonight, and now I'm doing my blog post. So that only leaves the shower. Oh, and then to take the dog out later on.
Yeah....
So the weekend can get here any time now.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to think of a blog post topic. Tonight my mind is just mush.
Okay so I'm being dramatic and over exaggerating. I know that. But seriously it feels like this week is taking forever. Yesterday kicked my ass and while today was a bit better, it still sucked. I don't really know what to write about. I worked 9+ hours today. I came home, we ate dinner and then Master played His video games and I went online.
Exciting huh?
I'm not complaining honestly, it's just that today I'm in kind of a blah mood and Master has a headache and His back is bothering Him. So it's just one of those nights where we each do our own thing for a while and maybe later we will do something together. I already did my exercises tonight, and now I'm doing my blog post. So that only leaves the shower. Oh, and then to take the dog out later on.
Yeah....
So the weekend can get here any time now.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to think of a blog post topic. Tonight my mind is just mush.
March 7, 2011
Today Kicked My Ass
For the past few weeks at work I've been mainly bored. I had to try and stretch out my work just so I wouldn't run out before the end of my shift.
Today however kicked my ass. From the minute I got there I was busting my ass trying to get my work done. And it just kept piling up. The minute I got one thing done, something else was put on my desk. And when a day like this hits after several weeks of either boredom or just barely enough work to get by, you get a little stressed. Or at least I do. Hell I was so busy I didn't even take a break to use the bathroom until 3pm, which is about 2 hours before the end of my shift.
But I calmed myself down and centered myself eventually. And I left with work still left on my desk, which I hate doing, but there wasn't anything I could do about it and I didn't want to let it stress me out.
When I got dropped off at home I hopped in the car and hit the store to pick up some light bulbs and soda. Master had just started dinner when I walked in the door. He was kind enough to change both light bulbs in the kitchen. It's been a while since the one right above the sink has had a working light bulb in it simply because it's a pain in the ass to change. But I asked Master if it would be possible to do it and He said yes.
During dinner we watched a movie, and shortly after that was done Master told me to do my post, take my shower, and do my exercises in whatever order. So now that I've done my post I'm off to do the other two.
Today however kicked my ass. From the minute I got there I was busting my ass trying to get my work done. And it just kept piling up. The minute I got one thing done, something else was put on my desk. And when a day like this hits after several weeks of either boredom or just barely enough work to get by, you get a little stressed. Or at least I do. Hell I was so busy I didn't even take a break to use the bathroom until 3pm, which is about 2 hours before the end of my shift.
But I calmed myself down and centered myself eventually. And I left with work still left on my desk, which I hate doing, but there wasn't anything I could do about it and I didn't want to let it stress me out.
When I got dropped off at home I hopped in the car and hit the store to pick up some light bulbs and soda. Master had just started dinner when I walked in the door. He was kind enough to change both light bulbs in the kitchen. It's been a while since the one right above the sink has had a working light bulb in it simply because it's a pain in the ass to change. But I asked Master if it would be possible to do it and He said yes.
During dinner we watched a movie, and shortly after that was done Master told me to do my post, take my shower, and do my exercises in whatever order. So now that I've done my post I'm off to do the other two.
March 6, 2011
Best Birthday Weekend Ever
This has been the best birthday weekend. Master has made sure that I've enjoyed every part of it, and I couldn't thank Him enough. He said that He feels bad because He couldn't buy me anything, but honestly that doesn't matter to me. He made it special, and that's what I love about Him. I may be the slave, but He does love to spoil me. Especially on special occasions such as my birthday and our anniversary. (Which is fast approaching!)
It started on Friday, which was my actual birthday. When I woke up that morning, Master was sleeping next to me and I kissed Him on His forehead and whispered that I love Him. Then I reluctantly climbed out of bed and got ready for work. When I logged onto the computer there was a message from Him waiting for me.
How fucking sweet is that? I love Him so much. I went to work, but thankfully it was for only four hours. We relaxed and joked around a bit. Master was really affectionate which I loved. He's normally a very affectionate man but He stepped it up a notch all weekend. We went out for dinner and had a great time. When we got home He massaged my shoulders for a really long time. I felt like putty afterward. That man's hands can work magic in more than one way. ;-)
Then came Saturday. Again we relaxed quite a bit, just joking around and enjoying the down time together. The only thing that put a kink in our relaxation was that my mother-in-law wanted to meet us for dinner, but she had no idea as to when. We normally eat around 5:30pm and she didn't want to meet until 7pm. So we got some snacks so my blood sugar wouldn't mess with me, and so Master would have something in His stomach as well. I did a blog post before we left ranting about my mother-in-law. But you know what? It wasn't too bad because Master and I fought back a little. We matched her attitude basically. And honestly, that was fun.
They were late, as always. So Master and I waited in line to get a table. We sat down and ordered a couple of Jack and Cokes and waited. While we were waiting for them to show up she calls my cell phone asking me what her password was to her wireless connection. See I had set it up for them, being the geek that I am, but when it came to the password I handed her the keyboard and she entered the password. I had no idea what it was, and I told her to write it down. In fact I distinctly remember watching her write it down. And that's exactly what I told her. She got a little huffy and said they would be there in 20 minutes. So about 35 minutes later they walk in. Master and I basically refused to get up. Normally we get up and hug them and say hi. But we're both getting a bite sick about them always being so damn late. So fuck it, we were comfortable and we weren't moving.
They sat down and they ordered their drinks, and then ordered an appetizer. But they didn't want to order the actual meals until the appetizer was finished, which is weird to me. So while we're waiting for the food to show up she brings up the damn wireless connection again. Now I'm trying to figure out why they needed to know it. So I started asking questions. They have the main computer and her husband also has a laptop. Well apparently they just bought an i-Pad. And she told me this after just bitching about how broke they were. So that just gave me more incentive to be lippy. I told her that I don't know her passwords, that I have enough passwords to remember between my passwords, Master's passwords, and my work passwords (which are a lot believe me) and that I would have no way of knowing what her password was. I told her that she had written it down in this little notebook with butterflies on it. She told me she couldn't find the book. So I shrugged. It's no concern of mine.
And then the subject turned to music and my mother-in-law was telling me about this Lady GaGa song she just absolutely loves. Ugh. So while she's rambling on about this damn song I cut her off and tell her I don't like that artist (I use the term lightly). She asks me why. I smile and tell her that I don't like pop music, R&B, rap, country.. basically I started listing all this shit. And her husband turns to me and asks what I do like. I tell him heavy metal, hard rock, etc. My mother-in-law says she likes hard rock too and Master and I broke out in laughter. We started telling her how Air Supply doesn't count. She was getting more and more annoyed, but she wasn't firing back. I think she was taken back by us actually talking over her (because she loves to cut us off) and telling her she doesn't know what she's talking about.
So while some people reading this may think we were being rude seeing as she took us out to dinner and gave me a gift card... you don't know my mother-in-law. And I'm glad we acted the way that we did. Master and I had a blast, that's all that mattered.
So we leave and get back home. Master had me lay on the couch and massaged my entire back while we watched Netflix. The next part may sound odd, but it's touching in my eyes. Master has a recliner. A recliner I never sit in, even when He's not home. The only time I have ever really sat in it for an extended period of time was when Master was out of town for three days on a job and I missed Him a lot. Our bed felt empty without Him in it next to me, so I slept in His recliner. As far as Netflix goes we normally watch something we both agree on, or something He wants to watch that I don't really want to. That's part of being the slave ya know. The only time I really watch something I want to that He doesn't want to watch is when He's not at home. It's just how things are. I'm not complaining mind you, I'm just simply stating a fact. But yesterday and today Master had me sit in His recliner quite a bit while He either took the computer chair or the couch. Hell He even sat on the floor a few times so we could still be close to each other. And He allowed me to watch Cake Boss. He doesn't really like the show but He knows I do because I love baking. It's really the only domestic thing about me. Plus He took the dog out all three times. He didn't have me take the pup out once. That was really nice of Him.
And when I was on the couch He sat with me, which He normally doesn't do unless we're watching porn.
Last night around 2:30am Master decided to go to bed because He wasn't feeling the greatest. He kissed my forehead and told me I could stay up as late as I wanted. Well, my insomnia had kicked in and I stayed up until 6am. No, that is not a typo. I wrote a note for Master because I knew He would get up before I did asking Him to not let me sleep in too late because I needed to be able to sleep tonight and also because I wanted as much time with Him as possible.
So this morning I am woken up to His cock pressing against my ass and His teeth grazing my shoulder. He positions me a little bit and slides His dick inside me before rolling me onto my stomach and using me. I wasn't allowed to cum, but He knows I love being used. Especially as a wake up call.
Afterward we went into the living room and woke up a bit more. Master took His shower and allowed me to relax in the living room while He did so. When He got out I put lotion on all of His tattoos like I always do on the weekends and then we went grocery shopping. Just because it's my birthday weekend doesn't mean the mundane stuff doesn't have to be done. And honestly, I like going grocery shopping with Master. Everything gets done quickly, and we are a great team no matter what we're doing.
We get home and Master put the groceries away. Again today He allowed me to watch more Cake Boss. Hell He even added the second season to the instant queue for me! And He watched some of it with me as well.
So to sum it all up Master has been spoiling the hell out of me and being very affectionate. Like I said, it may not seem like much to other people, but it meant a lot to me and I loved every minute of it. The only bad part is that I have to go back to work tomorrow.
It started on Friday, which was my actual birthday. When I woke up that morning, Master was sleeping next to me and I kissed Him on His forehead and whispered that I love Him. Then I reluctantly climbed out of bed and got ready for work. When I logged onto the computer there was a message from Him waiting for me.
Morning Kitten,
Happy birthday my pet, I hope the day goes by well for you and without aggravation. See you in a little while hon happy birthday my lovely you are as beautiful now as when we first met.
Love,
Me
How fucking sweet is that? I love Him so much. I went to work, but thankfully it was for only four hours. We relaxed and joked around a bit. Master was really affectionate which I loved. He's normally a very affectionate man but He stepped it up a notch all weekend. We went out for dinner and had a great time. When we got home He massaged my shoulders for a really long time. I felt like putty afterward. That man's hands can work magic in more than one way. ;-)
Then came Saturday. Again we relaxed quite a bit, just joking around and enjoying the down time together. The only thing that put a kink in our relaxation was that my mother-in-law wanted to meet us for dinner, but she had no idea as to when. We normally eat around 5:30pm and she didn't want to meet until 7pm. So we got some snacks so my blood sugar wouldn't mess with me, and so Master would have something in His stomach as well. I did a blog post before we left ranting about my mother-in-law. But you know what? It wasn't too bad because Master and I fought back a little. We matched her attitude basically. And honestly, that was fun.
They were late, as always. So Master and I waited in line to get a table. We sat down and ordered a couple of Jack and Cokes and waited. While we were waiting for them to show up she calls my cell phone asking me what her password was to her wireless connection. See I had set it up for them, being the geek that I am, but when it came to the password I handed her the keyboard and she entered the password. I had no idea what it was, and I told her to write it down. In fact I distinctly remember watching her write it down. And that's exactly what I told her. She got a little huffy and said they would be there in 20 minutes. So about 35 minutes later they walk in. Master and I basically refused to get up. Normally we get up and hug them and say hi. But we're both getting a bite sick about them always being so damn late. So fuck it, we were comfortable and we weren't moving.
They sat down and they ordered their drinks, and then ordered an appetizer. But they didn't want to order the actual meals until the appetizer was finished, which is weird to me. So while we're waiting for the food to show up she brings up the damn wireless connection again. Now I'm trying to figure out why they needed to know it. So I started asking questions. They have the main computer and her husband also has a laptop. Well apparently they just bought an i-Pad. And she told me this after just bitching about how broke they were. So that just gave me more incentive to be lippy. I told her that I don't know her passwords, that I have enough passwords to remember between my passwords, Master's passwords, and my work passwords (which are a lot believe me) and that I would have no way of knowing what her password was. I told her that she had written it down in this little notebook with butterflies on it. She told me she couldn't find the book. So I shrugged. It's no concern of mine.
And then the subject turned to music and my mother-in-law was telling me about this Lady GaGa song she just absolutely loves. Ugh. So while she's rambling on about this damn song I cut her off and tell her I don't like that artist (I use the term lightly). She asks me why. I smile and tell her that I don't like pop music, R&B, rap, country.. basically I started listing all this shit. And her husband turns to me and asks what I do like. I tell him heavy metal, hard rock, etc. My mother-in-law says she likes hard rock too and Master and I broke out in laughter. We started telling her how Air Supply doesn't count. She was getting more and more annoyed, but she wasn't firing back. I think she was taken back by us actually talking over her (because she loves to cut us off) and telling her she doesn't know what she's talking about.
So while some people reading this may think we were being rude seeing as she took us out to dinner and gave me a gift card... you don't know my mother-in-law. And I'm glad we acted the way that we did. Master and I had a blast, that's all that mattered.
So we leave and get back home. Master had me lay on the couch and massaged my entire back while we watched Netflix. The next part may sound odd, but it's touching in my eyes. Master has a recliner. A recliner I never sit in, even when He's not home. The only time I have ever really sat in it for an extended period of time was when Master was out of town for three days on a job and I missed Him a lot. Our bed felt empty without Him in it next to me, so I slept in His recliner. As far as Netflix goes we normally watch something we both agree on, or something He wants to watch that I don't really want to. That's part of being the slave ya know. The only time I really watch something I want to that He doesn't want to watch is when He's not at home. It's just how things are. I'm not complaining mind you, I'm just simply stating a fact. But yesterday and today Master had me sit in His recliner quite a bit while He either took the computer chair or the couch. Hell He even sat on the floor a few times so we could still be close to each other. And He allowed me to watch Cake Boss. He doesn't really like the show but He knows I do because I love baking. It's really the only domestic thing about me. Plus He took the dog out all three times. He didn't have me take the pup out once. That was really nice of Him.
And when I was on the couch He sat with me, which He normally doesn't do unless we're watching porn.
Last night around 2:30am Master decided to go to bed because He wasn't feeling the greatest. He kissed my forehead and told me I could stay up as late as I wanted. Well, my insomnia had kicked in and I stayed up until 6am. No, that is not a typo. I wrote a note for Master because I knew He would get up before I did asking Him to not let me sleep in too late because I needed to be able to sleep tonight and also because I wanted as much time with Him as possible.
So this morning I am woken up to His cock pressing against my ass and His teeth grazing my shoulder. He positions me a little bit and slides His dick inside me before rolling me onto my stomach and using me. I wasn't allowed to cum, but He knows I love being used. Especially as a wake up call.
Afterward we went into the living room and woke up a bit more. Master took His shower and allowed me to relax in the living room while He did so. When He got out I put lotion on all of His tattoos like I always do on the weekends and then we went grocery shopping. Just because it's my birthday weekend doesn't mean the mundane stuff doesn't have to be done. And honestly, I like going grocery shopping with Master. Everything gets done quickly, and we are a great team no matter what we're doing.
We get home and Master put the groceries away. Again today He allowed me to watch more Cake Boss. Hell He even added the second season to the instant queue for me! And He watched some of it with me as well.
So to sum it all up Master has been spoiling the hell out of me and being very affectionate. Like I said, it may not seem like much to other people, but it meant a lot to me and I loved every minute of it. The only bad part is that I have to go back to work tomorrow.
March 5, 2011
Consequences
I know that normally I don't post until later in the evening but there is a consequence to having a birthday. My mother-in-law wants to get together.
Everyone in my family and everyone else in Master's family are more than happy to just call or send a card and then if they have a present for me then they just give it to me the next time they see us. I don't expect gifts to be perfectly honest. But anyway, Master's mother sent Him an e-mail last night saying that she wanted to get together with us possibly tomorrow (today) to give me my gift card (at least I know what I'm getting) because she didn't want to mail it. Why? What the hell is wrong with mailing it? Seriously.
She said in the e-mail that she wasn't sure or anything just yet because she's just so damn busy. So fine, whatever.
We get up this morning and Master has me call His mother. Sometimes being the secretary really sucks. This is one of those times. So I call her and she went on about how she wasn't sure what time we could get together because she had to go to lunch with some of her friends and then they were going to Best Buy and they didn't know how long they were going to be there. *blinks* I've never known how long I was going to be in a store. Especially an electronics store. If I go to Best Buy I'm there for a very specific reason. I go in there, get what I came for, maybe browse a little bit and then get the fuck out.
So we wait, and wait, and wait some more. Finally Master has me call her again. She says she wants to have dinner at Red Robin. That's one thing I never understood about my mother-in-law... if we're celebrating my birthday, Master's birthday, or our anniversary she wants to pick the restaurant every time. Now I understand she's paying the bill but she loves trying to pick restaurants that Master and I don't like. Red Robin is one of those. We hate the food there. So I asked if we could go to Applebee's instead. It's literally right next door to the damn Red Robin. And what does she do? She huffs and says fine. *sigh* Then she tops it all off saying that she doesn't want to do dinner until 7pm. Master and I normally eat at 5:30pm or a little after. So we grabbed some snacks so we're not starving by the time we eat dinner. Especially on a Saturday night at an Applebee's it's going to be packed and the food is going to take a while, not to mention we probably won't get a table right away.
Yeah. The more I think about this the more I'm dreading it. Master is dreading it as well, but we might as well get it over with now. Other wise she's just gonna be more of a pain in the ass about it until we get together. And then when we do meet up she's gonna be pissy because it wasn't done exactly on her time table. So yeah, we'll just get it over with now thank you very much.
Hopefully she doesn't try and do this with our anniversary. It's only a few weeks away and to me it's a big one. Eight years together and four years married. Four holds a spiritual significance to Master and I, which is why we got married on our four year anniversary. So it may not be the 5 year mark, but to me it's a big anniversary, which is why I took two days off of work for the weekend after our anniversary. I wanted to have more time with my Husband and I don't need her trying to elbow her way into it. Nope. Not happening. Not this time.
I'm starting to want to put my foot down with my mother-in-law more and more because for fucks sake we're adults and we aren't on her time schedule. Trust me she sounded shocked that I dared to say no we don't want to go to Red Robin, we want to go to Applebee's. It's one of the very few times I've told her no. Why? Because my mother-in-law is a martyr and it's normally just easier to go with what she wants, and also that way she doesn't try to make Master's night a living hell. And I try to make Master's life as pain free as possible. And that includes trying to deflect some of the shit with His mom.
But holy fucking hell there are times I just want to lay into her and watch as she just sits there in shock and then looks to Master to try me to shut up. It's very, very tempting but I have never done it. I just sit there and either make a small sarcastic remark or get a stupid smile plastered on my face.
Wow. That rant went on a bit longer than I thought it would.
Everyone in my family and everyone else in Master's family are more than happy to just call or send a card and then if they have a present for me then they just give it to me the next time they see us. I don't expect gifts to be perfectly honest. But anyway, Master's mother sent Him an e-mail last night saying that she wanted to get together with us possibly tomorrow (today) to give me my gift card (at least I know what I'm getting) because she didn't want to mail it. Why? What the hell is wrong with mailing it? Seriously.
She said in the e-mail that she wasn't sure or anything just yet because she's just so damn busy. So fine, whatever.
We get up this morning and Master has me call His mother. Sometimes being the secretary really sucks. This is one of those times. So I call her and she went on about how she wasn't sure what time we could get together because she had to go to lunch with some of her friends and then they were going to Best Buy and they didn't know how long they were going to be there. *blinks* I've never known how long I was going to be in a store. Especially an electronics store. If I go to Best Buy I'm there for a very specific reason. I go in there, get what I came for, maybe browse a little bit and then get the fuck out.
So we wait, and wait, and wait some more. Finally Master has me call her again. She says she wants to have dinner at Red Robin. That's one thing I never understood about my mother-in-law... if we're celebrating my birthday, Master's birthday, or our anniversary she wants to pick the restaurant every time. Now I understand she's paying the bill but she loves trying to pick restaurants that Master and I don't like. Red Robin is one of those. We hate the food there. So I asked if we could go to Applebee's instead. It's literally right next door to the damn Red Robin. And what does she do? She huffs and says fine. *sigh* Then she tops it all off saying that she doesn't want to do dinner until 7pm. Master and I normally eat at 5:30pm or a little after. So we grabbed some snacks so we're not starving by the time we eat dinner. Especially on a Saturday night at an Applebee's it's going to be packed and the food is going to take a while, not to mention we probably won't get a table right away.
Yeah. The more I think about this the more I'm dreading it. Master is dreading it as well, but we might as well get it over with now. Other wise she's just gonna be more of a pain in the ass about it until we get together. And then when we do meet up she's gonna be pissy because it wasn't done exactly on her time table. So yeah, we'll just get it over with now thank you very much.
Hopefully she doesn't try and do this with our anniversary. It's only a few weeks away and to me it's a big one. Eight years together and four years married. Four holds a spiritual significance to Master and I, which is why we got married on our four year anniversary. So it may not be the 5 year mark, but to me it's a big anniversary, which is why I took two days off of work for the weekend after our anniversary. I wanted to have more time with my Husband and I don't need her trying to elbow her way into it. Nope. Not happening. Not this time.
I'm starting to want to put my foot down with my mother-in-law more and more because for fucks sake we're adults and we aren't on her time schedule. Trust me she sounded shocked that I dared to say no we don't want to go to Red Robin, we want to go to Applebee's. It's one of the very few times I've told her no. Why? Because my mother-in-law is a martyr and it's normally just easier to go with what she wants, and also that way she doesn't try to make Master's night a living hell. And I try to make Master's life as pain free as possible. And that includes trying to deflect some of the shit with His mom.
But holy fucking hell there are times I just want to lay into her and watch as she just sits there in shock and then looks to Master to try me to shut up. It's very, very tempting but I have never done it. I just sit there and either make a small sarcastic remark or get a stupid smile plastered on my face.
Wow. That rant went on a bit longer than I thought it would.
March 4, 2011
28 and Counting
Today is my 28th birthday. It's been a nice day. I went to work, but thankfully it was my half day so I got out of there at noon. But some of the people in my department at work were nice enough to get me a balloon, a candy bar, and a birthday card. I don't think I've gotten a balloon for my birthday since I was 12.
I got home and Master and I relaxed for a while. We broke the budget a little bit and went out for dinner. It wasn't expensive or anything but I figured we'd at least do something for my birthday. When we got home Master worked on my shoulders for me.
Like I said it's been a nice day. Master had left a very touching note for me to find when I got up this morning, which I loved. My friends and family called me and wished me a happy birthday and that's been about it. No biggie.
So yep, 28 years and who knows how many more to come.
I got home and Master and I relaxed for a while. We broke the budget a little bit and went out for dinner. It wasn't expensive or anything but I figured we'd at least do something for my birthday. When we got home Master worked on my shoulders for me.
Like I said it's been a nice day. Master had left a very touching note for me to find when I got up this morning, which I loved. My friends and family called me and wished me a happy birthday and that's been about it. No biggie.
So yep, 28 years and who knows how many more to come.
March 3, 2011
A Not So Gentle Reminder
Last night after my shower I asked Master if I could put on this one gray shirt I have that is on the longer side to help keep me warm. Whenever I get out of the shower I'm cold, it doesn't really matter the time of year. I know, it's weird. Master said yes, but that He wanted me to change into some lingerie after I took the dog out.
So I take the dog out a few hours later and forgot to change into lingerie. Master didn't say anything. He just let me think everything was fine and He let me stay up a bit late. We joked around and had a good time. He then orders me to the bedroom and has me suck His cock for a little while. Once He's had enough of that He moves me onto all fours and fucks me hard. Gripping me and forcing me to move one way or another. It was hot. He allowed me to cum several times before having me lay on my stomach. He lays on top of me and keeps pumping into me. He lowers His head so that His mouth is right next to my ear and growls, "Kitten didn't dress up for her Master tonight did she?"
My eyes got wide and I couldn't breathe for a second when I realized that I had disobeyed by not remembering what He wanted me to do. This is quite honestly the first time I have slipped up like this since I started on my full dose of medication. My meds help me stay focused, and for some reason they also help keep me docile. So I was freaking out and then turning around in my mind why He allowed me to cum. I knew why He didn't bring it up before right then. He was letting me get enough rope to hang myself. He was waiting to see if I would remember without Him having to say anything.
Yeah. I failed that test.
But the one thing I couldn't figure out is why He was allowing me to have orgasms. Well, I had been allowed orgasms. By the time He brought it up I was in the "fuck toy" position. Yes, we have a position where once He puts me in it I know that I'm no longer allowed to cum.
Anyway, the only thing I could come up with is that since it was my first slip in a while and it was because I honestly had not remembered rather than defiance, He was going light on me. I could be wrong.
All this went through my head in about the time it takes to bat an eyelash and then I'm saying, "No Master. I'm very sorry Master!"
To which He said that He should give me a nice reminder to that I will not forget next time. He pulled out, sat up on His knees, grabbed me and had me up on all fours again. Next thing I know He's grabbed both of our pillows and has them shoved under my hips so my ass is propped up nice and high. He grabs the back of my neck and slams my face down to the mattress.
Whenever He has me propped up by the pillows like that it hurts when He fucks me. Not in an extremely bad way, but it hurts none the less.I was crying by the time He was done. Partially because of the pain and partially because I had disobeyed. I was upset with myself because it was something so easy and He had only told me the order a few hours before hand, so I shouldn't have forgotten it that quickly.
He laid next to me and ran His hand up and down my back telling me it was okay, that I wasn't punished. I calmed down, cleaned off His cock, He scented me and then He kissed my forehead and told me to get some sleep.
Today my pussy feels bruised and yet it clenches each time I think of last night. It's a wonderful mixture.
So I take the dog out a few hours later and forgot to change into lingerie. Master didn't say anything. He just let me think everything was fine and He let me stay up a bit late. We joked around and had a good time. He then orders me to the bedroom and has me suck His cock for a little while. Once He's had enough of that He moves me onto all fours and fucks me hard. Gripping me and forcing me to move one way or another. It was hot. He allowed me to cum several times before having me lay on my stomach. He lays on top of me and keeps pumping into me. He lowers His head so that His mouth is right next to my ear and growls, "Kitten didn't dress up for her Master tonight did she?"
My eyes got wide and I couldn't breathe for a second when I realized that I had disobeyed by not remembering what He wanted me to do. This is quite honestly the first time I have slipped up like this since I started on my full dose of medication. My meds help me stay focused, and for some reason they also help keep me docile. So I was freaking out and then turning around in my mind why He allowed me to cum. I knew why He didn't bring it up before right then. He was letting me get enough rope to hang myself. He was waiting to see if I would remember without Him having to say anything.
Yeah. I failed that test.
But the one thing I couldn't figure out is why He was allowing me to have orgasms. Well, I had been allowed orgasms. By the time He brought it up I was in the "fuck toy" position. Yes, we have a position where once He puts me in it I know that I'm no longer allowed to cum.
Anyway, the only thing I could come up with is that since it was my first slip in a while and it was because I honestly had not remembered rather than defiance, He was going light on me. I could be wrong.
All this went through my head in about the time it takes to bat an eyelash and then I'm saying, "No Master. I'm very sorry Master!"
To which He said that He should give me a nice reminder to that I will not forget next time. He pulled out, sat up on His knees, grabbed me and had me up on all fours again. Next thing I know He's grabbed both of our pillows and has them shoved under my hips so my ass is propped up nice and high. He grabs the back of my neck and slams my face down to the mattress.
Whenever He has me propped up by the pillows like that it hurts when He fucks me. Not in an extremely bad way, but it hurts none the less.I was crying by the time He was done. Partially because of the pain and partially because I had disobeyed. I was upset with myself because it was something so easy and He had only told me the order a few hours before hand, so I shouldn't have forgotten it that quickly.
He laid next to me and ran His hand up and down my back telling me it was okay, that I wasn't punished. I calmed down, cleaned off His cock, He scented me and then He kissed my forehead and told me to get some sleep.
Today my pussy feels bruised and yet it clenches each time I think of last night. It's a wonderful mixture.
March 2, 2011
Another Wish List Post
Yes, another one. Although this one is going to be in list format, so it's more organized. My last wish list post was kind of all over the place.
Lingerie:
Toys:
Lingerie:
- Va Va Voom Teddy
- Strappy Lace Teddy
- Revealing Temptress Fence Net Dress
- Two Piece Criss-Cross Merry Widow
- Vixen Mesh Two Piece Set
Toys:
Ask & You Shall Receive
It's March, which means that it's time for Question and Answer Month. So please leave a comment and I'll answer your question in a post. If the question is something that I can not answer (What is your real name? Where exactly do you live? What's you social? etc..) then I will simply read your comment and point and laugh.
So.... let the questions begin!
So.... let the questions begin!
March 1, 2011
Fuzzy Feeling
Last night I was watching Master play video games while I was on the couch. The next thing I know Master is waking me up and it's a hour and a half later. Apparently I didn't look that well when I sat up because Master had a slightly worried look on His face and was asking me if I was okay.
I felt a little light headed and just an all around fuzzy feeling, like I was having a hard time focusing. I sat there for a while and the feeling passed. It was my turn to take the dog out, so I did that and when I came back in Master put the back of His hand against my cheek and He said I felt really warm. I was still feeling kind of out of it.
I fell asleep once again on the couch until I woke up for no particular reason and told Master I was going to the bedroom and that I love Him.
I have no idea why I felt the way I did last night. This morning I felt fine, all day I've felt fine, and tonight I'm fine as well. Like I said I have no idea what was up last night.
I hate it when things like that happen and I can't think of a logical reason as to why it happened. It kind of fucks with me.
I felt a little light headed and just an all around fuzzy feeling, like I was having a hard time focusing. I sat there for a while and the feeling passed. It was my turn to take the dog out, so I did that and when I came back in Master put the back of His hand against my cheek and He said I felt really warm. I was still feeling kind of out of it.
I fell asleep once again on the couch until I woke up for no particular reason and told Master I was going to the bedroom and that I love Him.
I have no idea why I felt the way I did last night. This morning I felt fine, all day I've felt fine, and tonight I'm fine as well. Like I said I have no idea what was up last night.
I hate it when things like that happen and I can't think of a logical reason as to why it happened. It kind of fucks with me.