Both of my grandmothers are no longer on this Earth. My maternal grandmother passed away before I was even born. She died when my mother was only 13 years old. My paternal grandmother passed away when I was 9 years old. Both of my grandfathers are still kicking. They are both the same age, 73.
My maternal grandfather lives in Texas. I don't know him very well. He moved down there when I was 3 months old. He's a big rig driver. Even at his age he's still trucking along and doing what he needs to do. He's had a rough life. He had to drop out of school in the 5th grade in order to get a job and help support his parents and siblings. He never went back to school and he's been working nonstop since then. So while I don't know him very well, I have a lot of respect for him.
My paternal grandfather I've known my entire life. He's always been a part of my life, although less and less these past few years as he's slowly becoming a shut-in. He takes care of himself and his dog, and that's about it. But I understand. When you get to be his age you've damn well earned the right to do what the fuck you want.
Well today I called him. He had sent us an anniversary card and we got it the day after our anniversary. I should have called him sooner but I knew that he had a few doctor appointments recently and was tired from them. So anyway, today I called him.
I had woken him up. It was about 3pm. I apologized for waking him but he said it was okay because he had to get up anyway to go to a wake for his friend. I told him I was sorry to hear that and he said it was okay, I didn't know the person.. etc and so on. It was an uncomfortable way to start a conversation when I haven't spoken to him since Christmas. But Grandpa started the ball rolling by asking how we were. I told him that I've been at my job two years, Master is looking for work, and that we've been married for four years now. That's when I thanked him for the card. He said it was no problem at all. He laughed when I said four years of marriage. Not in a mean way or anything. He just chuckled and said, "So you're an old married couple now?" I laughed and said that yes we were.
We talked about family stuff, about the economy, about his health. He told me not to worry, that Master would find a job. He said that the economy sucks everywhere in the area and that sooner or later something had to give. I said thank you. He asked me a bit about my job and I said how I've made it two years there, and how I feel I'm making decent money but it's still tight. He told me to hang in there, and if need be find a job that pays better and is possibly closer to home. I said that had crossed my mind but I don't want to be low man on the pole again. He understood where I was coming from. This man used to work 3 jobs at one time when my father and uncle were knee high to a grasshopper. He also worked his main job for more than 30 years. He retired early and has been enjoying his retirement since.
In reference to my job and the possibility of finding a higher paying job, he told me not to worry, that I would figure it out. He said you just have to learn when to jump ship. When it's safe and when it's smart. You don't want to leave a secure job to go to a higher paying job that has a higher turn around rate. Another thing he said was that sometimes you just need to stick it out and hope that the pay gets higher and sometimes you need to move closer to your job.
Without going into a lot of details (which I already have) he basically threw every possible scenario at me. I think I sounded overwhelmed or something at the end of that list cause I didn't respond right away. What he said next meant a lot to me. He said, "Don't worry about it. You're a smart kid, smarter than your father, you'll figure it out and make the right decisions."
Now that remark about my father might seem mean. But my dad is a very unpredictable man. He has a temper to him and when he doesn't like something he tells his boss off. Not a smart way of handling things. He spends money he doesn't have to get stuff he wants and then has to call my grandfather (and a time or two myself or my brother) to pay his bills. Now I may have a problem paying for unexpected expenses but I always pay the money back within an agreed amount of time.
The conversation ended well and we said "I love you" and hung up.
Now I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea about my job. I honestly enjoy my job and I make a decent pay. But I'm pretty sure most people want more money, especially when bills get more expensive, gas prices go up, as well as the price of groceries. You start thinking to yourself, "I need to make more money."
A 2nd job with my work schedule is not really workable. My therapist doesn't think a 2nd job would be good for me. She said the more I spread myself thin, the higher my stress levels will be and the more my mind will start to spin and mood swings will get worse. Not to mention self-destructive thoughts will start creeping in again. All of this regardless of the fact that I'm on medication.
I'm up for a review. My work anniversary was last week. So I'll hopefully get my review soon and find out how much my raise is.
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