Dirty Laundry

Every couple, regardless of marital status or dynamic has fights, arguments, call them what you will.

Master and I, nine times out of ten, try to diffuse the situation before it becomes a knock down drag out fight. That tenth time we let anger and pride get in the way and it can get ugly. But we always make sure to revisit it when we're both calmer and talk and apologize, and work it out.

That's what you do. You work it out, you move past it, and that's that.

One thing that I have never understood are the people who air their dirty laundry.

On a blog? That's one thing. I've done that, and I know this. But a blog (such as this.. maybe not so much if it's something where everyone knows who you are and your family and friends all read it) is a somewhat anonymous venting space. It is your space after all, and sometimes you just need to vent and get it all out.

I can do that here. My family (obviously) does not read this, nor do any of my friends that I have offline. So as I said, it's anonymous to a point.

If you are, however, on a networking site.. where your family and "real" friends, possibly coworkers, have access to everything you post.. that's another story entirely.

For someone to post something very nasty, and spiteful about their spouse or long-term significant other... is just disrespectful in my eyes.

I was raised that you don't fight in front of anyone, except for maybe your close family members. Why the close family? Because they understand to a point. At least that's how I always saw it.

But mostly, it's something that should be done when the two of you are alone. It's private. Venting is one thing, to a close friend or family member. But to actually have the fight in front of others is... uncomfortable. Mainly for the other people. And it can cause uncomfortable times in the future.

People say things in the heat of the moment that they don't mean at all, and only said because they were pissed off and were lashing out. But if you do that in front of other people, or publicly, you can't take it back. There are witnesses now. And it's going to be a lot more difficult to apologize because not only did you hurt that person, but other people were there when it happened, so now you've added insult to injury.

Master and I have gotten mad at one another in front of other people. But all it takes is a "We'll talk about this later" or.. even simpler.. a look, and that's the end of it. And normally by the time we are alone, we've already calmed down enough to talk and not yell or try and take cheap shots.

We have never fought in front of anyone. Ever. He feels the same way that I do. It's something that is private and should be handled between the two of you, with no one to encourage or take sides. Or to be there and point all that shit out later.

This morning on a networking site where our family and friends post and what not.. one of Master's siblings and their spouse got into one hell of a nasty fight that went on for three posts, with multiple comments on each. It was... insane. And I just could not believe how bad it actually got.

Their family, friends, and coworkers saw all of it.. and commented on most of it as well.

I just shook my head when I saw that. I could not believe my eyes. I'm not saying you should put on a false happy face if you are not happy within your marriage or relationship. That is a lie. And it's not healthy, for anyone involved.

But these two particular individuals seem to go through periods where they are all lovey dovey, and then... a day or two later, are ripping each other's throats out.

Master and I have our rough times. Our marriage is not perfect, because that is impossible. But we have a healthy marriage. And we aim to keep it that way.

I don't understand why you would want to drag out your dirty laundry for all of your family and friends to see, and be able to revisit since you typed it all out and haven't deleted any of it. I just... don't understand. I'm honestly baffled by it.