Reasons

Everyone has their reasons for getting into this lifestyle. Everyone has something they can connect to the types of desires and needs that only this lifestyle can provide.

I, for some reason, feel like sharing mine today. I'm sure I have in the past, since I've been blogging for about 4 years now. But I feel like blogging about it now. So forgive me if this is a repeat post.

When Master and I first started our path in this lifestyle it was mainly just my desire to be man-handled and for rough sex. And I believe that's how it started for Him as well. I am not sure to be honest, on His part.

But for me it was mainly that. I had a desire to be treated roughly during sex, and that is really all it was was bedroom Domination and submission in the beginning. It started in the bedroom and ended once we left it. But as the days turned to weeks, and the weeks into months, He and I started talking about how such things had woken deeper desires in both of us. We started looking into what else might be there that we could explore and enjoy together.

And so that is when the D/s part of our relationship spilled out of the bedroom and into our every day lives. But see at that point we weren't living together yet. So it was an entirely different animal back then. But again before we lived together it went from Dominant and submissive to Master and slave. Owner and property.

We both greatly enjoyed it. And when we first started living together it took quite a bit of getting use to on both our parts. Him to have someone to Dominate at all times, and me not having time where I could do as I wished without seeking permission first. It was a long adjustment period for us both.

And then we added marriage to the mix. Or as we call our marriage license "ownership papers". *smirks* I took His last name and that deepened my desire to please Him.

We hit rough patches when I would cycle through periods of time where I wanted nothing more than to be an extension of His will to where I wanted nothing more than to drop it all and give it all up. And the moment He would verbally release me from my status as His slave I would break down sobbing and begging Him to not allow such to take place. It was all extremely confusing for both of us. He did not understand why I continued these cycles, and neither did I. It was a large part of the reason why I started seeking mental help. And a very good thing I did as I was not so long ago diagnosed as bi-polar and placed on medication for it. The medication has worked wonders and my submission has been in tact since. I now once more only desire to be an extension of His will, and have not since questioned my need to do so. I now realize I had been self destructive, which was also causing great pain to the one I love more than life itself. My mate. My Husband. My Master.

But that is behind us now, and we are moving forward.

These thoughts were going through my mind earlier today and I realized that while I started off with only the desire to have rough sex and take orders while getting fucked, it has grown into something much more complex.

I need Him to be the Alpha. I need to have a man with a will so strong that there really is no option of not obeying Him. I needed that and I have it now. I may not always like His decisions but I have and will not go against His wishes. That is not to say I follow blindly. I have a mind and I have opinions, which Master enjoys hearing and does in fact take into consideration, but the final word is His. And I can only follow from that point forward.

I also have a need to be a part of something greater than myself. And Master and I are a team stronger than any I have ever seen. We are strong apart, but are a force to be reckoned with together. His force and will looping through me and then back to Him. We have this odd way of our energies looping through one another, which by the way is amazing during sex. I am an extension of Him. And because of that my loyalties will always lie with Him as without Him I could no longer be whole. I was not whole before I met Him and could never be whole again without Him with me. And I feel He is the same. He was not whole without me and would not be again if I were not His any longer. We have completed one another on more than just an emotional level. And that unbreakable connection that goes down to the very root of each of us is why I continue this lifestyle and why I am thankful that we started this path so long ago. If we had not dipped our toes in, we would have missed out on so much and would not know how deeply we could really connect. We would not be how we are. We would not be who we are.

And I know that I could not submit to anyone but Him. He may allow others to give orders or to do things to/with me, but I do not submit to them. I submit to His will, and His will alone. I listen to others only because He wishes it.

Some people think that the women who submit to their men are weak. They believe that the women who submit to their men are turning back time to when women did not have a voice, that we are setting back all women. And to that I say this: I would not be as strong of a woman as I am today without having submitted to Him first.

And I will also be bold enough to say this: If your man is not strong enough to dominate you to the point where you wish to submit, to please him, and to follow him, to become an extension of him... you do not have a man. You have a shadow of what a man should be.