Wonderful Weekend

This weekend has been great, well at least the times where Master and I were alone anyway. Lets see. Friday night was pretty uneventful. Saturday Master and I had the whole day to ourselves until about 7pm. We had fun just being together and hanging out. At 7pm we went to a restaurant that our friend SS was taking us to to celebrate Master's birthday.

So we caught up with her and she annoyed me at some points, but I got over it rather quickly.

From there she wanted to get some drinks at a local bar. I reminded her that we couldn't afford to go to the bar and she said that was no problem because she would buy. Um. Okay?

So off to the bar we went. I had one Smirnoff Ice and Master had two double Jack and Cokes. SS had a few beers and then we went to our apartment. She only stayed about an hour or so before she had to get back home.

Then it was just Master and I once more. We retired to the bedroom around 3am or so. We fucked and it was incredible. Then I was cleaning His cock off and He got hard again. He dipped His fingers into me and I was very sensitive so every movement made me squirm or buck my hips. So before you know it we were fucking again. :-D

After that we were both exhausted, and so we fell asleep.

Today we did some errands, I gave Master a blow job, and then headed down to my home town. We stopped at my mom's house where I picked up my old bike and a bunch of stuff my mom had gotten for us. We visited for about an hour and a half before going to my dad's for father's day.

We ate dinner, were annoyed by his weird as hell girlfriend and her offspring, but it was really nice to see my dad and my grandfather.

We left there around 7pm, came home, unloaded the car and put everything away.

So there is the day to day stuff.

I wanted to talk a bit about my depression. Over the past three or four days I've felt my depression lifting off of me like a fog dissipating. Slowly but surely it was leaving me and I felt the "old me" coming back. You know, the happy go lucky, horny all the time, me.

It seems when I'm depressed my sex drive goes way, way down. Like to the point of being non existent. Also, even when we do fuck when I'm heavily depressed it's like I feel this distance during it, but not coming from Master. It's coming from inside me. Almost like I'm slightly disconnected from the act in a way. And I hate that feeling. It makes me want to cry and makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.

But the odd thing is, the more we fuck, the better I feel. I think that honestly is one thing that helped that "fog" break. We started having sex more often. I mean finally admitting to myself, and to Master, what was going on helped a lot as well.

I can't honestly say how much the support group helped. I was fidgeting most of the time and if Master hadn't been sitting by my side (they wanted to separate us) I don't think I would have said much.

I rely on Him a lot for moral support and to keep me confident. A lot of people may say that's not healthy, but when I'm like that I can't rely on myself. If I do that I just end up going deeper and deeper into that depression and it becomes a self sufficient cycle to keep me in it.

But Master helps me break through it.

So as I was saying, we started having sex more and that I felt more and more connected not only to myself but to Master as well. And before I knew it the break through happened and I was back to normal (for me). I feel sexier, which makes me horny, which makes me more submissive, which makes me want to fuck more, which leads to more sex, which leads to my feeling even better. It's a wonderful circle that I happily feed into.

It also seems to make Master happier as well. I mean, I know He enjoys the sex and my feeling more submissive and wanting Him 24/7 like usual. But I think He sees the changes in me and He worries less as well. Which of course would lead Him to feel better about the situation as a whole.

I don't know if it's the chemicals the body releases when we have sex or what, but it's one of the quickest ways to my feeling better. If those chemicals get too low, that's when I normally start to feel myself slip. I'm not saying if we don't have sex for a week that suddenly I'll be back to where I started. And I'm not saying that's the only cause. It happens for no reason what so ever.

But I have noticed that once I'm in that depressed state of mind, the more affectionate we are and the more sex we have, the better I feel.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but it feels good to write about it.