Pain Therapy

Something crossed my mind earlier today. Anyone who reads this blog regularly knows two things about me. Okay, so you probably know a lot more than two things about me if you read this blog a lot, but for the sake of this blog post I'm referring to two things in particular. 1. That I am a masochist. 2. That I have fibromyalgia.

So anyway, what was running through my mind was that maybe one of them effects the other. No, I don't think that my being a masochist makes my fibromyalgia worse. That would be idiotic of me really. But I do think that my fibromyalgia effects my being a masochist. I know that not all of my nerve endings react the way they normally would. I'm not sure if it's directly related or not, but it's something that I noticed about myself.

There are times where my neck and/or shoulders are really bothering me. They haven't gone into full lock up/don't fucking touch or breathe on them mode but they are pretty bad. And I remember a few times where, for whatever reason, I asked Master to bite me right where it was hurting the most.

Sounds dumb right? It hurts, so let's hurt it some more!

But it honestly helped. Master looked at me like I was nuts the first time I asked. It was my right shoulder. That muscle on top of your shoulder that meets up with the side of your neck. I'm not sure why the thought popped into my head but I just looked at Him and asked Him to bite my shoulder right next to the knot that was forming. Not the knot itself but just to the side of it.

He of course asked me if I was sure and I said yes. It's not like He wouldn't stop if I asked Him to. So He had me kneel in front of Him, with my back to Him. I moved my hair and He told me to take a deep breath. As I inhaled He positioned Himself and then as I exhaled He bit down.

It hurt like a mother fucker. I didn't ask Him to stop though. Well, not right away. Finally the pain got to be too much and I asked Him to stop. He immediately released my flesh from His jaws. I remember that I leaned forward, damn near putting my forehead to the floor. But then I sat back up and while I was light headed my shoulder actually felt looser, oddly enough.

It really did help. Yes, it hurt a lot but it kept my shoulder from getting to that place where it locks.

So, when that memory strolled on through my gray matter I started to wonder if maybe that's part of the reason why I enjoy certain kinds of pain. It keeps the focus off of my normal day to day pain. Not always, but sometimes.

The other part of it is just that I'm twisted that way. *smirks*