Grab Your Nikes And Drink The Kool-Aid

I love my Husband. I love Him so much that every year I find it amazing that I have actually grown closer to Him. Why? Because I thought we had already reached that peak. But every year I'm proven wrong because I realize that yes, we are closer than we were this time a year ago.

I am lucky to have found my mate when I was so young. I really am. I have no idea what the hell I would do without Him. I'll fully admit that.

But... (there is always a but) ... I know that I could. I don't want to. I never, ever want to but I know that it would be possible.

So, what started this fucked up thought process? Yes, another thread on Fet. A rather morbid one actually, which is honestly why I started reading it. It was a "What would you do when your Master/Mistress passes away?" as well as a "What have you put in place for your slave when you pass away?"

I told you it was morbid. So many people answered that they don't think they'll be able to go on living. Me? I won't have a choice in the matter. If He passes first I know that I will have to continue to care for our animals and to move forward with my life. I know that He wouldn't want me to give up on everything and just crawl into a dark hole somewhere never to return. I may do that for a while, admittedly. I will say that I will never be Owned again and I have no intentions what so ever of searching for another romantic partner.

I think I'll end up being a lot like my grandfather. His wife (my grandmother) has been gone for 19 years, soon to be 20. He lives. He does what he needs to do. He has never gone on one single date and he still celebrates their wedding anniversary. He just goes through his life and takes care of his dog. Yep. That will be me. That is, as I said, if He passes away first. Which He damn well better not any time fucking soon.

Okay.. so where is the kool-aid comment coming from? So many people on that thread were saying how they just couldn't possibly continue to live in any way, shape, or form. That serving them is their one and only purpose in this life.

I do believe that I was always meant to be with Master. I truly do. I do not believe that our dynamic was written in the stars though. That is something that we entered into on our own because that is how we naturally interact with one another and basically it's what gets us off.

They refer to the fact that they are so dependent on their Owner that they literally cannot function without them. It's as if they walked up to their Owner wearing Nikes and a jumpsuit, were handed a dixie cup full of kool-aid and went "Okay!" and did it like a shot.

I am dependent on Master, but not to the point where I literally cannot make any decisions without Him. I am not a robot. I am not mindless. That isn't what He would want me to be like, which is a good thing because I don't want to be like that either.

I know everyone has different kinks but to me this goes beyond the kink territory and enters into a rather scary realm of what the fuck.