Loving Care

Master and I are both in a sucky situation. I'm on the rag right now and when that happens during the first few days my lower back becomes nothing but a tense, painful part of my body; especially around the hip line. Ugh.

To top that off my fibromyalgia is acting up a bit. Thankfully it's not a full on flare up. I'd be totally fucked. A full on flare up hasn't happened in about 6 months. *knock on wood* When flare ups happen sometimes it hurts to even breathe because as I do so it pulls on muscles that already feel like they are endless knots of pain. Today, it's just my lower back and right below my shoulder blades.

However, I'm not the only one in pain. My poor Husband has a pinched nerve that is giving Him no end of hell. I tried to help Him last night by working on His back and focusing the areas where I could feel the most tension. He said it did help, but it obviously wasn't going to be enough to get rid of it. I promised Him last night that I would work on it again today.

I don't have to promise anything. He can just order me to do it, but still. He knows I want to help Him however I can. Tonight though it surprised me when Master asked if I wanted to "trade" back rubs. It is exactly what it sounds like. He'll work on my back and then I work on His. Again, He doesn't have to do that. As I said before all He would have to do is order me to work on His back. No matter how much I may not want to do it because I'm so sore but Master was sweet enough to offer a compromise. He is a very loving Husband. He doesn't like to see me in pain just as I do not like seeing Him in pain.

Sometimes we can't do anything about it. There are times where I am in too much pain to even have my back or shoulders touched, let alone be massaged. Master also has instances in which He does not want a back rub because the muscles are too tender.

We take good care of each other, or at least we do our best to. It is emotionally painful for me to see Master in pain or really ill and know that there is nothing that I can do. He calls me a nurse when He gets ill. I am constantly asking if He needs something. If He tries to get up to get something to drink I beat Him to it and tell Him to sit down.

Yeah, I kind of bark orders when He's sick. He has a blood disorder where if He gets sick, depending on how badly, it can turn a flu into pneumonia on the turn of a dime and pneumonia can kill Him. I know, pneumonia can kill anyone. But because of His blood disorder it has to be caught quickly before it starts that dive into extremely dangerous territory. About three years ago He had walking pneumonia and I was scared out of my mind. When He was in the emergency room I was pacing back and forth whenever the doctor or nurses weren't in there. I was antsy and protective. I watched everything they did. The only time I left His side is when they wheeled Him to go get an x-ray. They told me I couldn't go with Him, so since He was getting x-rays I used that time to quickly run to the bathroom and then grab a soda from the vending machine. You would have thought I was being timed or something. I made it back to the room before Master was rolled back in.

When we got home after He had been on IV antibiotics for a few hours and had a prescription for very strong antibiotics I sent Him straight off to bed. We have this "rule" where if it involves health, I can over rule Him. You see, my dear Husband is a stubborn, stubborn man. So when He's sick He wants to push Himself when I feel He shouldn't be. So I will tell Him to go back to bed, to sit down, etc. I lecture Him when He pushes Himself too much. Yeah, now you know why He calls me a nurse. I smother Him with kindness, love and lectures. *laughs* But He does always thank me for taking such good care of Him. I do the same when I'm sick or in a lot of pain. Both of us always say, "It's our job." But we both want the other to know how much we appreciate it.

Wow. That went into a whole different direction than I thought it would.