Feeling Submissive

Being a slave and feeling submissive are two entirely different things. I'm sure most of you would agree. Sometimes I call it feeling submissive and sometimes I call it feeling docile. To me they are the same thing, it's just a matter of wording.

Today I woke up feeling docile. I was at work and I was actually having a pretty crummy and boring day. I talked to Master and He said that I could leave early if I wanted to. I was out of things to do so I left at 3pm. The only reason I could leave early is because I was the one driving today. The girl who drives the carpool had the day off. Thankfully the other person in the carpool, which I had to take home, wanted to leave early too. So it all worked out.

When I got home Master was sitting on the porch with our dog. Master and I sat out there for a while before coming into the apartment.

I'm trying to be a good girl. I'm trying to not focus on the stress in our lives and focus on my submission to Him instead. The stress becomes too much rather quickly if I actually sit here and try and sort through it. I've been doing it too much and losing sight of other things. I don't mean to do it. It's just that the stress factors keep piling on top of one another that sometimes it feels like a mountain that you can't see the top of.

But once I start bringing my focus to Him and Him alone all of a sudden I become calm, content, happy. I no longer spin my wheels. It's my vacation away from reality basically. Oh, reality is still there and of course I still deal with it, it's just not as intense. It makes me feel like I can get through it and that I don't have to get through it all at one time. It keeps my head from exploding.

Today, thankfully, is one of those days. For whatever reason though that whole stress reducing effect didn't kick in until I saw Him. Like I said, I woke up docile, but the over all effect didn't start until I got home. Funny how that works.