Unhealthy

This topic of conversation flitted through my mind earlier today. It's amazing, to me, how many people believe that certain relationships are unhealthy.

Now, there are some relationships that I do believe to be unhealthy; however the only reason I think they are unhealthy is because they include non-consensual abuse. Whether that abuse be mental or physical. Those are the ones I find to be unhealthy. That may seem judgmental or me, it may not. I've been in both emotionally and physically abusive relationships. That's probably why I feel so strongly about those kind of situations.

But a lot of people will find a M/s or D/s relationship to be unhealthy if they are not in that kind of dynamic. Then you get the people within the dynamic who judge other ones to be unhealthy because that's not the way they live it. Some people may find it unhealthy that I am so emotionally reliant on my Husband. They may find it unhealthy that my mood can be affected by His and vice verse.

Now, yes I am bipolar and I understand that it may have some affect my reliance on Him for emotional support. Codependency, to varying degrees, is a symptom of being bipolar. I would say I am on the lower portion of that scale. I would be lost without Him. I remember when we were living together if we went one week without seeing each other (we normally saw each other twice a week) I would get restless and aimless. I wouldn't really know what to do with myself on the days He would normally be there. He also felt those effects, but I don't know if it was to the same degree or not. Either way, I know He handled it better than I did.

That was 6 years ago. Now that we've been living together for 6 years and married for 4 of them I find such things are more extreme. I see Him every day, I sleep next to Him every night. It's not that I can't function on my own. I can. I've done it in the past when we've been apart and I know I could now if I had to. I think it would be a lot more difficult, but I could do it. But I would be way out of my comfort zone.

I think that is why some people would find that part of our relationship to be unhealthy. I'm not codependent to the point that I have to be with someone, anyone. (Like my mother-in-law who's had four marriages and three husbands.. do the math... simply because she doesn't know who she is if she isn't someone's wife.) I am codependent to the point that I need my Husband. I do. It's a need not a want. I don't know what I would do without Him. Now, if anything were to happen, Gods forbid, I know that I could stand on my own two feet and fumble my way through things until the dust settled, just as I know He could function without me.

But when you are so close to someone, and you and your partner are so deeply interconnected, it's hard for it to just be a want anymore. It slowly but surely becomes a need, especially as time rolls on. I'm sure my Master would agree. (Not that I want to put words in His mouth.)

So if others want to call that unhealthy, that's their choice. Me? I couldn't see us any other way.