Understanding

I got up not that long ago and I have a while before I am supposed to wake up Master, so I thought I would do a quick post. Last night shortly after I did my blog post Master and I sat down and relaxed. All of the electronics were either off or being ignored. We were simply sitting there and talking.

He hadn't read my blog post yet and so I told Him that I wanted to tell Him something. I said that I didn't want Him reading it first here. So I told Him about the things Dr. L said He could do to help. He said that He liked the fact that there were steps He could take to help. If one didn't work He had another option. I think that comforted Him in a way.

And then I started to do what I have done quite a bit since learning that I am bipolar. I started to apologize to Him about how last Sunday ended. He stopped me shortly into my apology. He said that I don't have to apologize for such things. He knows and understands that my medication is not a "cure". He also understands that I can not fully control my mood swings. He said that I shouldn't apologize for something that is out of control. But He is glad that there are things He can do to help me come out of the sudden depressive state rather than Him sitting there not sure what to do and in a way feeling helpless in the situation. I told Him that I was glad as well.

It's amazing how supportive He is. I mean, I know He is my Husband, my Master, my mate.. but I know that not all husbands are that supportive and not all Masters are either. It's not necessarily a requirement so to speak. He has always been my rock. The one constant thing in my life that I have always been able to focus on, to lean on. And He takes it all. He never complains about it. It doesn't matter how much I lean into Him, He takes the weight and He doesn't complain about it. He encourages me to talk to Him. He wants to know exactly where I am on a mental as well as physical level.

I am the same way. I support Him, I encourage Him to talk about whatever is on His mind. He can lean on me as much as He needs to and I don't complain. Even though I am bipolar and some people may see that as a weakness or an inability to be leaned on, I need Him to do that. This marriage and dynamic is a two way street. We bother focus on either other so much that some may call it obsessive.

But both of us have been knocked down, kicked at our lowest points in the past and we keep getting back up. Back then though we had to get up on our own. There was no crutch, there was no supportive hand reaching out to help us get to our feet. So now that we do have that it is the most wonderful feeling in the world.