August 4, 2009

Little of This and That

Okay first, thank you all who commented on my previous post. We won't be pursuing the matter. Yes, we could ask for the money back... I guarantee you he won't just hand it over. Second, lemon laws in Wisconsin are for newer cars from a dealership, not an individual.. so taking him to court will amount to nothing.

Enough on that front.

Last night Master went to bed around 9:30pm. I went to bed somewhere around 10:15pm or so. I don't really remember the exact time. This morning Master was still in a foul mood. He had asked me to give Him a wide birth for a good 24 hours. And so I pretty much left Him alone. He went to work and I went to my job.

My coworker asked me how yesterday went, because she knew why I had asked to go home early. So I told her everything and she asked me one of the most shocking questions. She asked me if I was going to leave Master over this.

I sat there dumbfounded for a moment. Then finally I asked, "Why would I do that?"

She said, "Well because of how he reacted."

I shook my head. I told her that I know Master can have a temper to Him, I've known that since we started dating. I also usually know how to react to such things. I'm not about to leave my Husband, who I've been with for damn near 6 1/2 years over something like this. It's not like He got pissed off and decided to kick my ass around the apartment.

He was pissed off. He told me He was pissed off, and that He wanted to be left alone so He didn't bite my head off over something stupid. I give Him a lot of credit for that. Telling me to leave Him alone and why, I mean. There was a time where He didn't communicate such things. Just like I didn't communicate it when something was bothering me.

On and off at work today I felt like crying because I was frustrated with the situation.

Master was tired and sore when He got out of work, so I took the bus home. When I got home I did the dishes and Master cooked. He gave me a hug and we have been talking. We're fine. He's not fully cooled off yet, but I didn't expect Him to be. The whole situation sucks. But we really are fine.

Master did a post today and mentioned how I never beg for anal sex and how I'm not looking for a female to play with.

Well the anal sex thing I can explain rather easily. I never know how well my body is going to take it. I may be ready for it but my body isn't. And so I get nervous because I'm afraid that if we try it, then it'll end up with us having to stop because my body says no. And that disappoints both of us.

But if I keep doing that... pushing it off and being so damn nervous... we're never going to get past it. So I'll have to work on that.

As far as the female thing goes. It's difficult to find a female who is willing to play, but not want a relationship, that will also "allow" my Husband to watch. Not ineteract. Just watch.

I used to look rather frequently, online I mean. Going to a gay bar and walking up to a chick and going, "Do you want to fuck me in front of my Husband?" just sounds like a good way to get a drink poured on you, or bitch slapped. Ya know?

When I would look online the chick was either A) Looking for a relationship, B) Wanted their boyfriend of husband to physically join in, C) Found me attractive but didn't want Master anywhere around, or D) I was not even remotely attracted to.

I suppose I could try again. There really is no harm in trying.

So... any attractive females want to come over and play with me while Master watches?

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