Bittersweet

Sundays are always so bittersweet. I've had a great weekend. It's actually gone by slower than I thought it would, which is a very good thing. We went to hang out with my dad on Friday. Yesterday we pretty much lazed about and fucked. And today, so far, we've just lazed about the apartment.

I'm posting earlier than usual because Master wants me to get my nightly routine out of the way so the rest of the night doesn't seem so rushed.

Normally I don't start my nightly routine until about 8:30pm. And since 9pm is when we take care of the animals as soon as that time comes and goes it feels like it's time to go to bed already. My bedtime is normally between 11pm and 11:30pm. So the night past night goes in a blink of an eye for me.

It's not so much that I don't want to go to work. It's more I just know what the hell I'm walking into and it overwhelms me some days. Especially with all the bullshit that's going on at the company. It's making me anxious to find a new job. But I can't compromise too much on what I'm looking for because that would fuck us over in the long run.

And it seems like most of the jobs I'm finding are either further out than my current job, don't pay well enough or are only part time or just a temp position. Nope. Can't do that. Plus all the places that are reaching out to me are insurance companies. Ugh. No! I cannot afford to go to commission rather than straight hourly or salary. I cannot depend on how well sales are going. Plus, I suck at sales anyway. I'm better at regular office work or call center work.

Something has to come along eventually. I just hope it's sooner rather than later. I know I've been talking about it a lot lately but it's constantly in my mind, swimming around in there. I'm almost stuck on it because I'm trying to figure out the best way of doing things, what direction to go, etc.