A Little Sad

We went down to see my dad today. And it was a good time, but it also made me a bit sad. At first, it was fun because he finally got to show us his new hearse. It is beautiful.  I sat down in the front seat after he had shown us the back of the car. I love it.

The rest of the visit went great. But, then there was the thing that made me kind of sad. Well, he has been "dating" that woman I mentioned a while back. The one that was a family friend years ago. They haven't seen each other in a very long time but they have been talking to each other over the phone a lot apparently and have agreed that they are, in fact, in a relationship. She is coming up to visit soon. Within the next couple of months I guess.

That doesn't make me sad though. What makes me sad is that apparently it's getting so serious that they have already decided that unless she wants to move up here, which it doesn't sound like she does, then he'll be moving six hours away to go live with her. The only thing that will prevent this is if they break up between now and then. Which honestly, I don't see happening. He's almost 52 years old and I think he is just ready to settle down and stay settled. And he knows this woman very well and he said they had a connection back when I was a kid but they didn't act on it because they were both married at the time.

I know, a lot of people move away and six hours isn't that much. And I understand this. I really do. And yes, I want my father to be happy. Of course I do. Just as I want my mother to be happy.

It was one thing when I moved 45 minutes away. It's still easy to just go down and visit or for him to come up here to see us. But six hours? That's not exactly a, "Hey there isn't much going on and we have the time... why not just pop on over and see my dad for a while?"

Or him calling me and asking if he can come up, out of nowhere.

I'm so used to just being able to go visit. Just like I am with my mom and my brother.

I'm being selfish and unreasonable and I know this. I also do not give a damn.

If/When it comes to pass I'll be emotional. But I'm not going to be mad at him or anything like that. My dad and I are very close... so I guess that is what is making me sad. He is my dad and my friend and I don't want him to move away. I think another factor is that I know I can't really afford to go and see him when he'll be six hours away and I also know he won't really be able to afford to come up to see us either. A 45 minute drive is one thing. Six hours? Yeah. That's a big difference.

Who knows. Maybe it won't come to pass and I'm a little sad over absolutely nothing. It's been known to happen. Or maybe it will and this is my preemptive strike so that I don't get so upset when it does. As Master would say, "There is no use worrying about it now babe."

And He is right. I know He is right. But still.