But since the car was done sooner than I thought it would be, I did have the option. But with all the stress and the fact that it was only going to be a four hour work day, not the mention the fact that I was exhausted and not feeling well from the anxiety I decided to stay home. Master agreed with my decision, which was the final nail in the coffin on staying home today.
I'm glad I did. I slept a lot. A lot more than I thought I would actually. When I get extremely stressed out I burn a lot of energy because I can't really calm down easily. It's not as bad as it was before I was on medication, but medicine is not a cure, so of course it's not going to work perfectly like that. Especially in situation like that.
I didn't get up until 8am, and that was only because the dog woke me up to take him outside. I stayed up for a little bit after that as I was not feeling well and then crashed on the couch for another two hours. I took another nap around 2pm, which was probably about a hour and a half long. The second nap was one of those things where Master and I were watching TV and I was comfortable. The next thing I know I'm waking up and wondering why it's so late.
Master had allowed me to sleep because He knows I need it.
My dad called me today. Apparently he decided to buy a hearse he found online and will be going out of state to pick it up in a couple of weeks. I'm happy for him. I really am, but it was one of those things where we just got slammed with a financial pinch that is crucial to my still being able to go to work and so there was really no way of putting it off... and my dad tells me he just bought a car that is not a day to day car. It's his money, I understand it was just... I don't know... bad timing I guess? I know that probably sounds bitter but it is what it is.
We will be going down there tomorrow to visit with him. I know he's going to be going on and on about the hearse. And like I said I'm happy for him and I honestly can't wait to see it. It's not like I'm mad at him or anything like that... I don't know. I guess it's just a little hard when you are going through a struggle like we are at this exact moment and so much stress and anxiety that it makes you ill, and you hear about someone buying a luxury item.
I'll be over this feeling by tomorrow. I know I will. I drove the car a little bit today while doing errands and I had a smile on my face. She drives so much better.
The other bad side about the car doing that on a Wednesday is the fact that I literally just got done with a planned five day break and now I had another one that was unintentional. I'm burning through my time off but it had to be done. And like I said, I could have gone in today but with how I was physically reacting to the situation I didn't feel up to it and Master agreed that it would be a good idea for me to stay home.
Now I'll have to save as much time off as I can for job interviews for jobs that are closer to home, which will hopefully happen soon.
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