Venting

Okay, I've been trying not to vent too much about day to day stuff on here. But after today, I really need to so I can keep my mind clear and to keep a good grip on myself. I can't fall to pieces and right now there is no need to. Certain things will need to play out first, and then I'll react from there.

First, the car. We've been worried about the tie rod end since I found out about it 2 weeks ago. We simply did not have the money to fix it right away. Thankfully tomorrow I have an appointment to finally get it taken care of. Which is a good thing not only because that will relieve the stress regarding the car but also because I have to take the car to work on Monday since the person who drives the carpool took the day off of work.

The second thing is finances. When is it not right? Well, thankfully right now they aren't as tight as usual. And hopefully it will remain that way for a while.

Okay, last stressful thing. My grandpa.

My grandpa has had two quadruple bypass surgeries in his life. He is diabetic and needs insulin via a shot every day. He is on 13 different medications which he has to take twice a day. He lives by himself with his dog. He is about 20 minutes away from everyone. Thankfully his neighbor keeps an eye on him.

Well about four or five months ago the doctor said that he didn't have much longer. He has outlived that "diagnosis", thankfully. Last week grandpa had gone to the doctor. He had been pushing it off for weeks. He found out that only 50% of his heart is working. They scheduled him for a heart catheter for August 5th as that was the earliest they could get him in.

We were all holding our breath until that appointment. Well today while I was at work my mother called me. She told me that Grandpa was going to the emergency room. My heart skipped a beat. She then explained why. Just as fair warning, this is about to get gross...

Grandpa has colitis. And sometimes because of it when he has a bowel movement there is some blood as well. Apparently today that happened, except it was mostly blood and he couldn't stop bleeding. He waited, cause he's stubborn, to see if it would go away on it's own. Obviously it didn't. He called his next door neighbor and asked is she could take him to the hospital. He was embarrassed, which I completely understand. But apparently he didn't feel he had much choice. He was too weak to drive. This is the same man who drove himself to the hospital while he was having a heart attack. He didn't call an ambulance. He claims he didn't have the money to pay for it, and that may be part of the reason, but I think part of it was also the fact that it would take longer for the ambulance to get there. Plus, like I said, he's stubborn so he doesn't want to call the ambulance. Don't ask me. I don't know why he does it. No one in our family likes it, but Grandpa is going to do what he's damn well going to do.

Long story somewhat short, he was admitted to the hospital for the night and he will have more tests run in the morning.

We're all worried. We would be if colitis is the only thing he had going on. But now you have a 73 year old man who is diabetic, has a weak heart, and now can't stop the bleeding. Yeah. That's fucking scary.

Right now my mom advised me to just keep going through with whatever plans we have, etc. to try and distract ourselves. (Master really likes my grandfather so he's worried as well.) She promises she will keep us updated. Right now Grandpa doesn't want visitors. So I'll respect that for now. Depending on what else we find out I might tell the old bird to hush and give me a hug.

So, unless an emergency with my grandfather comes up we are going out to dinner with my brother-in-law and his wife tomorrow night. It will take our minds off the stress for the moment and if anything does happen my mother knows my cell number, which I'll be making sure I can hear. I'll be calling my mother tomorrow to see if there is any more news.

I hope he's okay. I love my grandfather.