Normal

Master is the only one I feel "normal" around. And by normal I do not mean the general perception of what normal is. I mean normal for me. Which is totally different.

I don't really care what other people think of me, unless it's someone very close to me. And even then there are limits. Except for Master. I always care what He thinks about me. Always. But I never really have to worry about looking at Him at seeing that look on His face.

You know what look I'm talking about. That look where you say something or do something that is so totally you, and you look around and other people are looking at you like you should be embarrassed, ashamed or at least filled with regret for saying that/doing that in front of other people.

Master may look at me sometimes and go, "You're out of your damn mind." But there is always a smile or a smirk when He says it. As if that's one of the reasons why He loves me, because I'm so different.

The reason why this popped into my head today is because I was at work, and there was a lull. So everyone around me was talking. Blah. Blah. Blah. And without thinking I tossed a comment in from my cubicle.

And everyone got quiet. And they all slowly looked in my direction and it looked like they thought I should be cringing. At this very moment I don't even remember what the hell it was I said, or what the topic of conversation was. What I do remember is what I said wasn't that out that. I didn't swear, I didn't say anything offensive. I had just tossed a quirky comment out there. And I got that look from everyone around me. I just smiled, shrugged, and continued doing my work.

I do know that if I had said that exact comment (whatever it was... my brain is not functioning 100% right now) He would have smiled, if not laughed.

It's nice to know that I can completely be myself around Him. And to know that He feels that He can be completely Himself around me. It's liberating. And it makes me happy to know that I found that person, that one person, so young. I met Him when I was merely 20 years old. I'm lucky. Some people don't find that person until much later in life, if at all. My father is 49 years old and he is still looking for that person.

I also love the fact that we can communicate very effectively without saying a word. We've gotten very good at that over the years, although it started off rather naturally even in the early stages of our relationship. But it's just gotten easier over the years.

A lot of people seem to think that marriage sucks. I use to be one of those people before Master and I got serious. But I honestly couldn't be happier. I love being married. I love knowing that I always have someone in my corner, that I always have someone to go to. And that I can be myself all the time. I don't have to wear a mask.