Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

... and it's all small stuff.

That is something Master said to me about a week or two ago. He said it to me during a time where I was apparently switching moods, and the mood that came in between the switching was pissy. It's weird how that works, and this post isn't about my mood transitions, so I'll leave it at that.

He looked at me and He said, "Remember when we said we wouldn't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff? What happened to that?"

I was freaking out about something or other. I honestly at this moment can not remember what it was. But those couple of sentences hit me like a ton of bricks.

I do remember when we promised each other that. We promised one another that we wouldn't let the small shit get to us or ruin what we have. Now, when He said that it's all small stuff.. He didn't literally mean everything. Him and I agree that are some major things that could definitely kill our marriage. But they are all within our control. They are the normal major things... cheating, actual full on abuse, etc. (And yes I am in the minority in my belief that even though you are in an M/s dynamic you can still be abused. Although admittedly it would have to be pretty god damn horrifying.)

But basically everything else besides things such as that, it's all small stuff. And I was, at the time, sweating it. And I am doing my damnedest to not do that anymore. I believe I am making progress. I hope He feels that way too.

And today for some reason those sentences were running a marathon through my mind. It's nothing that's going on between us. But it was in fact overhearing a fight between a coworker and their husband. And it really was small stuff. Like, minuscule.

Now I know this particular coworker rather well. We talk quite a bit. But I overheard her fighting with her husband and I was shocked at what she said. It really isn't my business but I couldn't really help but hear it.

She said that if he forgot to take the garbage out one more time, he would see alimony payments coming off his paycheck. Those were her exact words.

And I'm sure my eyes widened upon hearing it, but I didn't react in any other way that I know of.

I walked away after she slammed the phone down and looked at me and said, "Men! Gods. Why do we put up with them?"

I am not a fan of man bashing. I understand that we all get frustrated and need to vent, but that kind of generalizing rubs me the wrong way even if it's in that kind of context.

Probably because I was a tom boy growing up and so all my guy friends would start bitching about their girlfriends and start generalizing about "chicks" and I'd be like, "Dude, I'm a chick."

It's annoying, and regardless of what side of the board it's on.. it's insulting. I am not like the stereotypes regarding females. Or at least not all of them.. *laughs*

So anyway, like I said, I don't like man bashing. You want to bitch about your significant other, that's fine. But don't drag every other man into that same lot.

But I walked away because I mean.. it's taking out the fucking garbage. And this dude is pussy whipped anyway. I know. I've met him. The other thing that really shocked me... they've only been married for a month and she's already holding the threat of divorce over his head. That's not cool.

Yes, it's annoying when one of the spouses forgets to do something. And yes, it's irritating when you have to repeat yourself. I get that. But I couldn't imagine threatening divorce over such a thing.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am not the perfect wife. Master is not the perfect Husband. And we do not have a perfect marriage. But rather than trying to tear our marriage, and in turn one another, apart is not how we handle our problems. That may be the knee-jerk reaction sometimes, but it's not what we do.