Sigh

Last night I went to bed before Master did, but He had me keep on my lingerie. When He came to bed He woke me just enough to have me roll onto my stomach so He could use me. I love half-asleep sex. It's incredible.

This morning I woke up and I was drenched. I had to wipe between my legs more than once before I could put my work clothes on.

Work was slow today, but I think part of the reason it dragged was because I got to work an hour early and couldn't do any work till my normal time since I can't do overtime right now.

When I got home from work, Master and I ran a couple of errands and then we went out to a car dealership. Master had got something in the mail saying He had a chance to win one of however many prizes, including a brand new beautiful car. Well we both know our luck isn't that damn good. But we figured what the hell, why not go.

Well of course, it's a car dealership, so they are going to try and sell you a car no matter what. And me? I'm damn good at not only resisting temptation, but I'm good at haggling.

Master didn't win the car. He won a $5 gift card. Yay or something. But hey, it was something to do. The problem came when basically we had to hear the pitch in order to find out what the prize He won actually was. So we heard the pitch. I figured whatever, we'll be out of there soon.

But we weren't. No matter what I tossed at this guy about what we could and could not afford, he kept saying he could take care of it. I was shocked honestly. Normally once you take a car salesman so far, he backs the hell off. Not this one. He was not giving up.

So Master and I said fuck it we'll see where this goes. It started off as just fun and games, and a chance to just dream a little..

So we test drove a 2009 car. It was beautiful. And part of me was saying "You know.. your car is almost 10 years old... and it's the only one you have.. maybe it's time to trade up.. you'd still only have one car.. but it'd be a car with a warranty.. and you could really use something newer... " but the logical side kept saying, "You can't afford it.. no way in hell.."

So I went ahead with the test drive thinking it would just be fun and something to keep in mind for the future.

This sales man is a pro though. After more than 2 1/2 hours he had wheeled and dealed it from a monthly payment of $385, in which I quickly said, "No way in hell.." to... "Your monthly payment will be $185, no money down, no payments for 45 days, and we'll give you $300 cash to help start up the full coverage car insurance."

My jaw fucking dropped. This is a one year old car I can own for $185 a month? With our credit and no cosigner?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

We were both sorely tempted. Our current car would have been traded in, and we'd still have only one vehicle, but it'd be so much newer.. etc and so on.

But at the last minute I looked at my supportive Husband and said, "We can't.."

The logical side kicked in and basically said "You don't know how long you'll be able to afford these payments, even though they are so low.. and if it gets repossessed then you have no car at all.."

I literally cried when we left the lot. It's not that I don't love our car, because I do. But I want so many things for my Husband and I. I want a newer car, I want to own our own place instead of renting.. etc and so on.

But we just can't right now. I mean I could probably keep up the payments... but for how long? How long would it be before something came along and bitch slapped us?

I told Master that if He for sure had that job He's waiting to hear back on, I probably would have said yes.. but even then it probably wouldn't have been a smart move.

He comforted me on the way home, and told me that even though He was leaning towards yes as well, I had made the right decision in the end. I played it safe, and I decided to cover our asses.

And He smiled when I said, "That's true Sir. Plus we have the rest of our lives together, and we can get those nicer things later. Right now we just need to get by."

Plus, now that I'm thinking about it.. maybe we could wheel and deal an even lower payment once He has a job under His belt and has been working there a while. I'm not kicking myself about it anymore. The more my logical/safe-playing side of the brain kicked in, the happier I was that we didn't sign the papers.

I know if we had said yes, and gotten the newer car, I would be stressed out even more. And as Master told me as we were trying to decide what to do, "If it's going to stress you out, we shouldn't do it."

I love my Husband. He was calm, cool, and collected the entire time. Most husbands would have been pissed after 3 hours of being at a car dealership and walking away with the same car you drove in with. But not Him. He is so supportive, and He loves me so much. It's a very wonderful feeling.

He let me fantasize about getting a newer car, and when I literally backed out at the last minute, He was fine with it.

He's the best Husband ever.