Creative Block

I feel like being creative with my blog. I tried something for a little while and at first I thought it was pretty cool. But soon, as I started to stare at it, I started to not like it. So... I switched it back.

I have no idea what the hell I want to do with this damn blog. None what so fucking ever. And it sucks.

It really, really does.

It's just frustrating I guess. Wanting to do something, but having no idea exactly what or how.

I've been kind of up and down today, emotionally. I think part of it might be related to the weather though.

I'm trying to keep it level though.

But this blog thing is annoying. I mean my blog, as it is normally, is fine. But still, it's been this way for over a year, and I'm getting bored with it.

It's a good thing I didn't go into the web development field. I'd be fired for always wanting to change shit.. *laughs*

Also you know how I damn near got talked into buying a newer car? That idea has been stuck in my head since that day. Wanting a new car. Granted I honestly don't drive much since I carpool to work. But.. it would just be nice to have a newer car, for safety reasons and just... because it would be nice.

I admit I've been looking at cars online. I know we can't do it, but it's nice to dream. Plus, it's the only thing we own besides stuff that sits in the apartment. So it would be nice to have something newer.

At least we can not until Master gets a job. The only other way to do it would be for me to get a 2nd job, which I don't really want to do. Working a little over 8 hours a day, five days a week is enough for me. I'll do it if I have to (I've honestly never worked two jobs before).

But then part of me worries that if we don't do it sooner rather than later, then the car we currently have will continue to depreciate and we will have less available for trade-in value.

Round and round these concerns go.

"But if we don't do it now then our current car won't be worth as much.."

"But if we do it now... then we won't really be able to afford it..."

Blah.

Fuck you brain for tormenting me.

But there is no harm in looking. Sometimes I do that with newer computers too. Just to window shop and dream a little.

Thankfully we only have two more loan payments, for a loan that we took out shortly after we got married. Two more months and we'll be free of that. Yay! But then that money is basically set aside for something else. We have other things we need that money for, so it's not like there will be "spare" cash. It'll just be going somewhere else. But at least it won't be to that loan.