Going Guano

Ya know... this whole being unemployed thing is driving me guano. At first it hadn't sunk in really. It all just felt like a really long weekend or a mini vacation of absolutely nothing for no reason. But now? Well, now it has me just trying to do what I can to keep myself busy. This probably explains my posting more than what is required, even if it is just rambling on about absolutely nothing what so fucking ever. (Like this post.) It also explains why I went into overdrive in changing my blog. Hell, even today I decided that a font that I could automatically select was too boring for the blog title, blog description, post titles, and gadget titles. Nope! Can't have that! Too boring! So while I had thought I was done dicking with it apparently I was lying. I promptly went to Google Fonts and found the one I'm currently using. I think it looks better. And now that it's not a "default" font I feel better about it. I prefer my blog to be a bit more unique. That may be one of the reasons why I decided I didn't want a downloaded template anymore. Yes, I had tweaked it to make it my own, but it still wasn't mine. And while this may not be as "clean" or as "professional" as the ones I can download, I still love it. It's unique. If I ever see it somewhere else I'll be more than a little shocked. Somethings will obviously look similar as I am using a basic template which I then built upon but that's not the point.

Although I am annoying myself by constantly wanting to change things so now I'll leave it alone. No. Really. I'm serious this time. *sigh*

Aside from throwing out my resume like it's going out of style I've been watching random shit on Netflix that I honestly would normally never watch but am now, for some fucked up reason, finding entertaining. Most likely because it is different. If I still had a full time job there is no way I would bother wasting time on it. But since I don't, I find it amusing.

I'm also reading books periodically. I picked out a different one from the small collection we have that I hadn't read in quite some time. I'll read it a little bit here and a little bit there. Sometimes I'll devour an entire chapter while other times I'm only reading half of one.

I'm really hoping I find a new job soon. Hell, I've been wishing that since the day I was fired. I can't believe it's been that long already. I've never had a gap in my work history that wasn't due to my going to college for a while.

And on top of the stress of not having a job I have all these things going on with my Grandfather. The things going on with Grandpa are a lot harder to swallow. While the being unemployed thing is hard and greatly effects our finances the situation with my Grandpa is hitting me on a deep emotional level. In both scenarios Master has been extremely supportive and I love Him for that.

I'm trying to stay in good spirits and to stay strong. It's not that I'm putting my brave face on. I'm just dealing with all of it the best that I can. I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable. I cry when I need to. I vent when I need to. I'm of course keeping Master updated on everything across the board.

So yeah...