For Real?

Last summer Master and I had spent a lot of time outside and as a result we hung out with a group of neighbors. I know I had mentioned that one of them had moved up north for a job towards the end of last summer. So it's been a little over a year.

Since then I have sent her texts several times and sent her e-mails since then. I never heard anything back. Never. Also, she never told us when she was in town. The only times we knew is because she still talks to other people in this apartment complex and we would see her walking to or from one and say hi. She would act startled and seem to be nervous about the fact that we even saw here which is really fucked up. So a few months ago I removed her from a social network site that we are on because I figured that since she wasn't responding to me that there was really no need to have her on there anymore. I was a little ticked but didn't let it bother me too badly. After all I'm not that social and when I am nine times out of then I'm not friends with a female. I just get along a hell of a lot better with guys. But this one woman I had befriended for an entire summer only to be completely ignored after she moved.

Well, this past Sunday we were walking up to our apartment with my dad while we were coming back from the Halloween store. And there she was, walking up to a different person's apartment. Again we had no idea she was coming to town. She again seemed nervous about running into us and said, "Hi guys how are you?"

I ignored her and just walked past. I'm not dealing with that shit.

The only thing I can think about in regards to seeming nervous is completely due to the fact that she never got back to me or tells us she is in town. Maybe she thinks we'll make a scene or something. You're not worth the effort bitch.

So why is this coming up now? Well, today Master got an e-mail from her. Seriously? It took me ignoring you for a change to get a reaction? And even when you do react you contact my Husband? For real?

Her e-mail went somewhere along the lines of her saying she didn't know what she had done to me for me to ignore her like that and brought up the fact that we had promised to stay in touch after she moved. She also brought up the fact that she just now noticed that I was no longer friends with her on the social network website. She ended it with saying that she wished we could have all stayed friends and that she wishes us the best. *beats head into keyboard*

Before He could reply to it he went to her He realized that she had removed Him from her friends list. So He couldn't have replied had He wanted to. That is some high school bullshit right there. As a result He decided to just block her completely.

He told me about all of this when I got home from work. I just couldn't believe it. This only feeds my natural anti-social behavior even more. Not that it really needed the help honestly.

Kid in a Candy Store

Today was a lot of fun. My dad got up here around 1:30pm. Master met him outside and he came in for a while. We talked and joked around for a while.

I had looked up directions to the Halloween store my dad wanted to go to. We kind of knew where it was because it was on the same street that it was on last year. It's one of those stores that are only open for the season and then shut down. They basically rent out the building for two or three months and then they are gone. I'm really, really glad I looked it up. It was on the same street yes.. but it was on the other side of town. Like I said I'm really glad I double checked. But one of the great things was it was only 10 minutes from our place. Last year it was about a half hour away. Another thing I got from going on their website was a 20% off one time coupon. I don't have a printer so I called. She told me that if I have a smart phone (which I do) I could just pull it up on that and show it to them at the register. Rock on.

So anyway, back to what I was saying.. My dad was here for maybe a half hour before we headed out. You could tell the minute he sat down that he was excited about going. They don't have this particular chain of Halloween stores down by him. And he was looking for one item in particular and the ones down by him didn't have them.

He didn't want to be rude though so he sat and talked. I was excited about going too though. We took his car. Like I said it was only 10 minutes from the house so we found it rather easily. The store was a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

The minute we walked in Master kind of took off. Not in a bad way. He was like a kid in a candy store too. He wanted to go look at masks. I stayed with my dad. I wanted to take my time and see all the things they had. Eventually we caught up with Master and He was looking at masks.

His original idea was to by Michael Myers for Halloween. But when He saw the masks they had He wasn't very impressed. He showed them to me and I had to agree. They weren't very well done. So He had to find something else. He found two scarecrow type masks. They both looked pretty damn cool and He was having a hard time deciding on which one. I was leaning more towards the second one but admittedly the first one was also cool.

Finally I just suggested that He try both of them on and look in a mirror they had set up. So He put on the first one and looked. While He was doing that I held the other one in my hand just in case. He said He liked it but felt that it didn't cover enough of the neck. So He tried on the second one and that was it. He immediately loved it. My dad thought it was pretty damn awesome too.

We must have walked around that store three times. Each time we found something cool as hell. It was like none of us wanted to leave. We were in there for a little over a hour.

I found a couple of things I wanted but they were all necklaces that I can't wear because of my damn nickel allergy. *sigh* Oh well.

Thankfully my dad found what he was looking for and also found some other things that he couldn't leave the store without. *laughs* I didn't need anything for my costume. I already have mine. All I will need is some make-up but I didn't need it right then and there and it'll only get cheaper the closer it gets to Halloween so no big deal. Master's mask though it was the last one and we didn't want to take the chance that it wouldn't be there when we came back. So that was a must have. Master even made a wire frame for it out of old wire coat hangers so it wouldn't lose it's shape.

I'm so excited! I can't wait!

In Heat

Master and I kind of met in a chat room. It wasn't planned and it wasn't that kind of chat room. It was just a regular chat room. Well, the group of us that lived in Wisconsin decided it would be fun to meet up and actually meet everyone face to face. If I remember correctly there were seven of us, including myself. But before I went I decided to look at everyone's profile so I would know what they would look like.

That was the first time I knew what He looked like. And I immediately thought He was handsome and wondered what He would be like in bed. Not that it mattered. I figured He wouldn't be interested. (Boy was I wrong.) But at least I knew what He looked like.

Well, at the actual meet up of everyone I was standing there waiting for other people to show up. I thought I was the first one there but apparently He had gotten there first but left momentarily to make sure others weren't somewhere else because the place we had all agreed to meet at was a little confusing. So there I am standing and waiting.

It was March but it was unusually nice out. I was standing facing the outside so all this light was pouring in and the next thing I remember seeing is Him walking up with the light surrounding Him and I remember looking up at Him and I just hoped that my jaw wasn't hanging. He was even better looking in person. He had long hair, a goatee, and just... wow. Again I wondered what He would be like in bed. He recognized me as well from my profile picture. I didn't know what He was thinking at the time. But we sat down and waited for the rest of them to show up. I think we had about a half hour of just the two of us talking before the rest of them started to trickle in.

That night we started "flirting" in private chat. And the rest? Well the rest is history.

About two and a half years into our relationship I proposed to Him. We were both broke as hell but were getting by. We weren't even living together yet but there was just something that told me we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I was/am so madly in love with Him. Apparently He thought the same because He said yes.

Like I said we were both rather broke. I gave Him a ring that used to be may father's. He has worn it on His pinky ever since I gave it to Him. We joke that it's His engagement ring.

Him? He has always been very vain about His hair. His hair is gorgeous. He shaved His head as a gesture in return to my proposal. We lived together for two years after that before getting married. And here we are 10 1/2 years into our relationship.

So what's my reason for going down memory lane? His hair.

He continued to shave His head for quite some time. He looked hot bald.

Eventually He did start to grow His hair back. For a little while He had a typical guy's haircut. Don't get me wrong, I still thought He was sexy as hell but it just didn't look right on Him. He didn't look like Him. That was very, very short lived.

Then He started buzzing it. It had a little bit of length to it but He would just grab His electric razor, put the longer guard on it, and crop it down. Again, I found Him sexy as always. And it honestly suited Him. He wore it well.

But for about the past five to six months He has been growing it out. He wants it long again. It's just past that awkward length where it's just constantly in the way and ya can't do a damn thing with it. I remember that from when I cut my hair short and grew it back out.

Now? Now all of His hair is past His shoulders except for the front, where the bangs would be if He actually had bangs. That part is just past His chin. But there is just something about Him having longer hair again that has me turned on almost constantly. It's like I'm in heat. I don't know what it is.

As I've always said, and meant it, it doesn't matter how long His hair is, it doesn't matter if He has a goatee or not, it doesn't matter if He weighs more or weighs less.... I have always been so highly attracted to this man. And so, so, in love. I don't think it's possible for me to love Him anymore than I do. He has me completely, across all levels.

There are only certain things that could ever in a million years break that. And I know they will never occur. Neither of us would do such things to one another.

So why His longer hair is making me act this way, I have no idea. He seems to be enjoying it though.

Or Not....

If there is one thing I can always count on my mother-in-law for it's last minute changes. All day today I was thinking about how busy this weekend was going to be and what the hell was going to happen at my mother-in-law's place. Part of the reason she had contacted us in the first place is because she said there was a lot of "drama" on her husband's side. Never mind that woman creates drama one way or another.

Anyway, I had been thinking about it all day. I was hoping it was going to go well. I had prepared myself as best I could. I figured that Master was doing the same. We both always have to kind of prepare ourselves for dealing with her. Mainly because we never know which way it's going to go or how many times it'll change while we're there.

But then I get home from work and I told Master about my day. He told me how His day went and then in a very nonchalant manner told me that I didn't have to worry about going to His mother's tomorrow.

Um... okay?

Apparently shortly before I got home she sent Him an e-mail to let Him know that she can't have us down tomorrow. Her husband was sent out of state for his job very suddenly and so she cancelled the plans with us. She wanted the whole experience basically. The four of us. But since he won't be there she cancelled everything. It's a good thing though. Her husband acts as kind of a buffer. He's a nice guy. And he does get sent off for work at the drop of a hat a lot. Master used to work at the same place and it happened constantly.

So now it's just Master and I tomorrow. Then on Sunday my dad will come up, as long as his back allows it.

Missing

Sometimes things hit me and they make no damn sense. For instance, aside from the day to day stuff there hasn't been any dynamic related things going on. No kinky or rough sex. No orders out of no where. Just the normal day to day. I'm not complaining, I'm just making a point here.

Yet this morning I woke up and I felt docile. Not like total slave mode in so far as not wanting to joke around. Sometimes when I get really, really docile I basically am pretty serious. Why? I have no idea. So yeah, that happened.

And on top of that I woke up missing my collar. I haven't worn a collar since January 3rd, 2012. Damn I can't believe it was that long ago. We're quickly coming up on two years of no collar and yet this morning I woke up and I missed the hell out of it.

I was even rubbing my neck here and there throughout the day. I miss the weight of it. I miss playing with it when I was nervous or anxious. I miss just idly touching it for no reason at all. I miss Master grabbing it and being able to control my movements with it.

Trust me, He doesn't need to grab onto a collar to physically force me to move. I'm petite and His hands are huge.

Like I said, I don't know why. No clue what so ever.

Pause

I love getting together with my family. I love getting together with Master's father's side of the family. His mother? Well, neither of us want to deal with her. But we have to. Remember how last week we were supposed to go to her house for dinner? Well she had cancelled saying something along the lines of saying that it was because I hadn't felt well the night before.

She had told Master to call her the upcoming Wednesday so they could set something up for the following weekend. Basically, she wanted Master to call her today to set something up for this weekend instead. When all that was going on we had completely forgotten that my dad had told us he wanted to come up this weekend to go to Halloween stores with us. He had also told me to call him Wednesday. (Today.)

So yeah. It's kind of a cluster fuck.

I knew that it was coming up and that today was Wednesday. I thought about it this morning when I got up to go to work. I made a mental note to call my dad when I got home from work. But after work I had a couple of errands to run and work had been hectic so it completely slipped my mind.

When I got home from work it didn't cross my mind once. I got relaxed and comfortable. Master and I shot the shit while He cooked dinner. We had literally just sat down and started watching Netflix when Master quickly paused it and said, "Oh shit.. You have to call your dad."

Fuck. So I grabbed the phone and called. He didn't answer so I left a voice mail. Since he didn't answer Master hopped online and shot her an e-mail to let her know that we're kind of just waiting on my dad before making any final decisions.

So we're kind of on pause right now. It honestly wouldn't bother me at all if it was just my dad we were trying to make plans with. My dad has always been one of a whenever type of guy. And I'm more than used to it. But it's now putting the shit with my mother-in-law on hold.

My dad hasn't called back. He might be just trying to relax or is sleeping. I know his back has been pretty bad lately. I haven't tried him again because I know he'll call me back when he can/wants to.

I don't really mind that the shit with His mother is on hold. Neither of us want to see her. But at the same time I know Master wants to get it done and over with. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I'll try my dad again tomorrow if I don't hear back from him tonight.

October

It's officially October. You know what that means? Only thirty days until Halloween. Ya know, it still seems like it was a much bigger deal when I was a kid. But I still love it. There is just something about it that makes me so excited and happy. I have loved it since I was little. I'm talking like five or six. At least that's the youngest I can remember where I got more excited about picking out my Halloween costume than I did than the candy.

And I still love getting into costume and putting on make-up. I've never liked masks. Mainly because I can never really see out of the eye holes like you're supposed to. Plus, I don't like the way they smell. I would much rather put on make-up.

The past few years I haven't been able to do a lot. This year I want to put more thought into my make-up. I know I can't afford a new costume. But I already have two to choose from. I've worn them every year since I've bought them, but I love them both so why spend money I don't have to?

Master however needs a new costume. So we'll start shopping around for that soon.

We don't decorate here for any holiday. It's just the two of us, the dog, and the rabbits. The dog and rabbits don't give a damn so it makes no sense. No one tricks or treats so we also don't bother getting into costume up here. The only reason we have to put costumes on is when my dad does his haunted house. I'm really looking forward to it.

I don't know exactly when it is. I'm hoping it's not on Halloween itself because it's on a Thursday this year so I'd be at work and wouldn't be able to get down there until about 6:30pm. I'll have to check with Dad the next time I talk to him.

I'm so glad it's October. It's one of my favorite months of the year. It finally starts to smell like fall. The leaves are changing and falling from the trees. It starts to cool off more and more as the month goes on. (Or at least it's supposed to.) All of this leads up to my favorite holiday. How can I not love October?