Highly Disappointed

Okay.. so I went from only being somewhat disappointed to being highly disappointed. Now, after the last blog post in regards to "Story of O" Master had told me that I need to keep in mind that this story is from 1958 and as a result things that seem rather dull and boring to me were rather exciting back then. People were shocked by a hell of a lot less than they are now.

So, the next time I picked up the book I kept that in mind. I literally just finished reading it about 15 minutes ago. I did not like the book at all. And it's not just because I wasn't "shocked" or "thrilled" by it. I don't think I've ever been shocked by a book. Thrilled? Yes.

As I continued to read the book I realized that the whole thing about Stephen King writing forever and a day about the wallpaper came to mind because the surroundings of the room were more and more lengthy as the book went on. I do not give a flying fuck what color the wood holding the mirror was. I don't. I really don't. Not one tiny bit. And yet, there you are describing the hell out of it. Does it add to the story? No. So what the hell are you taking such time to detail that shit rather than leaving it to the reader's imagination and moving on with the more juicy and/or important details? Ugh!

*HUGE Spoiler Alert*

And what really pissed me off about it is I got to the end of the book and O had just gotten done being put on display at a party and then taken out to be fucked by two guys repeatedly. At first I thought, "Well that was a weak ending."

Then I turn the page and it says... And I quote:

"In a final chapter, which has been suppressed, O returned to Roissy, where she was abandoned by Sir Stephen.

There exists a second ending to the story of O, according to which O, seeing that Sir Stephen was about to leave her, said she would prefer to die. Sir Stephen gave her his consent."

Are you fucking kidding me?! It's a short enough story to begin with. (199 pages) and then the entire final chapter isn't even there? What the hell?! And an alternate ending? Um... with a book it has one ending. That's it. End of story. Literally.

This isn't like it's the first printing. This is the ninth printing of the book.

Why would it be suppressed in the first place? If the book was finally allowed to be published again why is that final chapter still not allowed? I honestly did look on the web and can't seem to find a solid answer. It did mention that the alternate ending was removed by the author herself. Whether that is true or not I have no idea since I can't even find out why the original ending isn't in the book.

So, final wrap up...

Rene and O's relationship is basically non-existent. Rene went and fell in love with some model friend of O. O goes to a woman's house and gets her outer labia pierced and is then branded with Sir Stephen's initials. Sir Stephen and O are now in love and she doesn't even give a fuck that Rene doesn't love her anymore even though a few chapters earlier she was worried to death that he didn't.

Then the 15 year old sister of the model that Rene is now in love with is in love with O and wants to be like her. So they make plans to send the 15 year old off to Roissy with O. They never get to that part because, like I said, they ended the story with O being used by Sir Stephen and a guy named Commander after a party where she is literally just sat down and told to position herself a certain way so people can look at her and sometimes touch her.

The fact that the ending isn't there at all pisses me off. And then realizing that the ending was going to have Sir Stephen leave O anyway makes me look back and go, "Then why the fuck did you bother branding the bitch?"

But then again, that part can be very true. Even now. How many new found relationships with a dynamic in place immediately permanently mark the submissive (whether it be by branding or a tattoo) and then in two months they hate each other? Just from reading FetLife and blogs I stumbled across on the web it seems to be pretty damn frequent.

Granted I have permanent marks from Master that show His ownership of me. One is a scar He gave me and the other two are tattoos. But they weren't put there until after we had a couple of years under our belt. Does that mean we can't leave one another? Of course not. But at least there was a good length of time from the beginning of our relationship to the times where the scar was made and the tattoos were applied.

*sigh* I've gotten a little off point here.

Basically, I just read a book that had no ending and that pisses me off. It feels like I was left hanging. And granted I wasn't really enjoying the book to begin with but I had hung in there only to be presented with a page basically telling me yes, actually, there are two endings but we aren't going to give you either. Tough shit.

Something New to Read

The other day when we went to visit Grandpa we had followed my dad out to Grandpa's house, like I had mentioned. While we were out there I had asked if I could dig through the book collection that Grandpa had held onto that Grandma owned. She had a lot of books. She had a major in English and was a school teacher so she loved to read, and had instilled that in me from a very young age.

I didn't ask to do so in such a way that it meant I wanted to start taking things I wanted out of Grandpa's house already. It was simply because I'm currently unemployed and needed something new to read. I can't afford to buy anything new. I didn't figure anyone would care if I took a couple of books. It's not like they are worth anything. My dad and uncle said that would be fine. So off I went to a side bedroom that had been converted into a sewing room. That's where all the toys my brother and I use to play with and Grandma's book collection are.

It took me a little while. It's a pretty big collection and some of the older books didn't have the title on the spine so I had to pull them out to see what it was. I actually took so long that my dad came back there to check on me. It's not like he thought I was trying to take anything I wasn't supposed to. He just was worried I was having a hard time getting to some of them.

Anyway, there I am digging through them. I found a book on North American birds that I thought Master would love. He already had a similar book at home but this one was huge so I thought He would like to flip through it. I selected a couple of other books and then I came across one that made me look twice.

I couldn't believe it was there... I had never read it before but I knew exactly what it was about. It's "Story of O".

I sat there looking at the cover for a few minutes just kind of in disbelief. I mean... come on now... this is my grandmother we're talking about. Yes, I know she was an adult woman and all that but I don't think anyone really expects to see a book like that in a collection of books their grandma had.

Did that stop me from taking it? Nope. After all, I had heard so much about it and I had honestly wanted to read it but never really wanted to spend money on it since I had read mixed reviews on it.

One of the reviews in the book before the story actually begins said that the author, Pauline Réage, is a more dangerous writer than Marquis de Sade. Somehow I doubt that. I mean I've only read snippets of his work but... damn... I mean he was arrested for his writings for fucks sake. His family had to intervene to get him out of jail and into an insane asylum where he was refused pen and paper. (Note to self:  Find Marquis de Sade books.) From what I know of Pauline Réage some writings were banned but she never took it to the edge that Marquis de Sade did.

Anyway...

I started reading "Story of O" last night and I'm not a full chapter in yet, because my eyes were starting to bother me, but so far I'm not entirely sure what I think of it. I understand that it was translated from French to English and so I'm sure some things didn't translate well. I may just not be used to the writing style yet. I'm going to read it all the way through though, regardless. I just want to see what happens and how it ends just so I can basically form a full opinion of the book.

Reading is Fun for Mentals

I saw a meme the other day that got my mind going. Yes, I know. It sounds really stupid that I would get inspiration for a post from a damn internet meme. However, it is a topic that I have wondered about in the past so I might as well run with it. Right? Right.

I have been Master's slave for 95% of our relationship. It was a long road filled with odds and ends and our basically trying to figure out what works for us. There were bumps in the road, as there always are regardless of what kind of relationship you have. But, that isn't really the point of this post. If you want a better background of how we got to where we are now, please read about it here. It's a somewhat vague history but it gives you the general idea.

Anyway... here is the meme I am referring to:

I have honestly never read any of those books. I of course knew about them rather quickly. After all they were promoting that book series left, right, and center. But when I saw my sister-in-law talk about it on a social network site I was floored to say the least. From everything I know about her she is a prude. I have no other way to put it. And she is also constantly complaining about how her husband (Master's brother) wants sex and she hates how he asks for it so frequently. She also bitches that he expects it without doing anything for it first. Apparently, without a dynamic in place, she thinks it should be earned like a reward. It's almost like she considers it a favor unless she wants to get knocked up. She's a prude and a feminist. *nods* I would say those two words sum her up rather well. I get along with her, don't get me wrong. But we are on two very different sides of that spectrum. Of course she doesn't know that. No one does.

But when she was saying how she had read it and had borrowed the book from a friend of her's I was floored. Like I said, admittedly I have never read any of the books. But from everything I had heard/read about it, it involves some level of kink to it. One person described it to me as a romance novel with a side of kink thrown in. I don't know how accurate that is though. *shrugs*

I have read the Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice. Granted those books are highly impossible with some of the things they wrote in there. Guys keeping their dicks hard constantly? Yeah. Sure. Yet a doctor will say if it lasts more than four hours you need to go to an ER. Of course there are other things in that book series that are impossible or at the very least highly improbable. However it was still an enjoyable series for me. Some of those things are entirely possible in the right scenario. Hell some of it I know damn well Master would do to me given the opportunity.

When I first heard about the 50 Shades book series I'll admit that my curiosity was a little peaked. After all I heard kink and I guess some form of dynamic was involved and you don't really read many books with that kind of thing going on. But I never did because the more I found out about it, the more it seemed to come off as a romance novel with things in it that "vanilla" people would find kinky but I would find boring as hell.

Has anyone read them? Thoughts?

I know that there will never really be a fictional book dealing with kink or a dynamic based relationship within an over all story setting that I will find 100% believable. I have a feeling that no matter what I read in that line of writing the book(s) will either have one of the following effects on me:

1. It will be way too far fetched and come off as ridiculous.
2.  Some of it will be far fetched but other parts will seem possible and as a result keep my interest.
3. It will disappoint me to the point of absolute boredom.

That may seem harsh since I've only ever really read the Sleeping Beauty series. There have been short stories and what not but they pretty much fell under the first category.  The Sleeping Beauty series fell under the second category. The 50 Shades series sounds, from everything I have heard about them, will fall under category three and as a result aren't worth buying, even if they are cheap.

It's kind of funny though because I have a feeling that if those had come out when I was an older teenager I would have snatched them up. Why? That kind of thing always interested me. I didn't really know if I actually ever wanted to be involved in such a thing but I knew that it interested me from a rather early age. But now? Well, after being in a Master/slave relationship for basically 11 years (and counting) I think I may just fall asleep while reading it out of pure boredom. Or maybe I would ready a couple of chapters, promptly decide it was a waste of time and money, and get rid of it.

When it comes to books I am very selective about it. After all, I'm spending money here and I want to make sure that I'll want to read it multiple times. That does somewhat limit the number of books I own/will buy but as a result I very, very rarely regret buying a book. I'm honestly more picky about the books I read than the movies I watch. Movies to me can be something I watch simply to kill time. But with a book? Nope. Can't do it. I have to be able to throw myself into it even if I am only reading a little bit of it here and there.

New Book

I love reading. I have since I was a child. Master loves reading as well, which is a plus. A bigger plus is that nine times out of ten we enjoy the same books. That's helpful because then the purchase price of a book doesn't seem as harsh. *laughs* Some books are rather expensive, or at least they seem that way to me. Then again I'm picky about what I spend money on and prefer not to pay full price on anything if at all possible.

The problem is that lately we haven't heard of any books that peaked our interest. As a result, we've been re-reading the same books over and over again. We've only added one or two new to us books to our small collection in the past few years.

I am very wary about what books I buy. Like I said they aren't exactly cheap sometimes if I end up not liking a book I get kind of pissed off about it. That is why we don't buy books very often unless it's one that we know we enjoyed but just don't have anymore.

However, last night we stumbled on one that we both really want to read.

Believe it or not we were at a regular store looking through the DVDs for some cheap movies. We did end up finding a few which was awesome. But for whatever reason this particular store keeps the books right by the DVDs. I find that weird.

I walked right past them and went down the next aisle. But Master stopped for some reason. He picked up a Stephen King book. We both love Stephen King's older books. Not so much the newer ones. But this particular one sounds extremely interesting.

It's called "Doctor Sleep". Why did it peak our interest? It brings back an old character. The kid from "The Shining". I was quite shocked to read that and I immediately wanted to read the book. But we looked at the price and it was a bit too pricy for me to want to do it as an impulse buy.

I really want to pick it up but I'm going to bide my time unless I find it at a really good price. I'm really hoping to get the hardcover of it though. I prefer hardcover books. If I have to settle for a softcover book I'd be okay with that.

Hopefully I can find it at a good price soon. Although I know if we get a copy Master is going to read it first. *laughs*

Date Day

Master and I had a date day of sorts today. It was really, really nice. We haven't gone on a date of any kind in a really long time. Our usual date used to be dinner and a movie. But these days the only time we actually go to a sit down restaurant is with family and there are absolutely no movies that have been out lately that we want to see in a theater. They are all movies we are more than willing to wait to see until they come out on DVD or are available for streaming on Netflix.

But we had a little extra cash this week than usual and so we decided to at least go out together and have a good time.

We don't do the normal present exchange for the holidays. We've done it in the past a few times but normally we'll just go out or we'll go to a store together and each pick out something we like. We don't do the whole "Your money" and "my money" type thing. It's all lumped together.

Today we did both.

First we went to a used book store that we honestly used to love going to. I know most people wouldn't think of going to a used book store as a date but we love just hanging out and having a good time. And for us, that includes going to a book store of some kind.

We had been disappointed in this used book store lately but we decided to give it another shot. Yeah... we're probably going to stop going there. They had absolutely nothing that we wanted and trust me, for us that's damn near unheard of in a bookstore.The customer service in that place has taken a nose dive too.

We were both disappointed when we left. So we decided to go to Barnes & Noble. It was right across the street after all, even though it's a serious pain in the ass to get across said street. But we were determined to get books damn it!

Side note: I did look into e-readers and decided it's not really for me. I'm a gadget girl and all that. I love me some tech toys. But books are really the only thing that I am really having a hard time letting go of. Especially with how I'm on a computer for 8+ hours a day at work and yes, I spend time on the computer at home reading blogs and all that. So for reading.. I'm going to stick to regular books for as long as I can. There is just something comforting about holding a book and using a bookmark and all that. I'm weird.

We went inside Barnes and Noble and they were pretty busy given it's the holiday season. But actually it made me happy to see that people besides Master and I still enjoying reading for the sake of reading and also think of books as good gifts. That trend unfortunately seems to be dying.

Master and I are going up and down the rows, showing each other books we come across to see if the other wants it. At one point I went a couple of rows down because I was looking for one particular author and Master wasn't done looking in the row we had been in.

I was slightly bent offer looking at the middle shelf when Master sneaked into the row and grabbed my ass. I jumped a little and started laughing. He was grinning and pulled me in for a quick hug. We did end up finding something for each of us. He got three paperback books that are a trilogy. He has only even read the first two books in the trilogy and we had sold those books a couple of years ago. He was very happy to have found all three.

I got a book by Neil Gaiman that I've never read before. It's called "Stardust". Master has read it before and didn't really like it but thought I would. He did warn me that it's not the normal Gaiman book. It's more fairy tale like than his usual writing. But He thought I might like it anyway as I do enjoy those kind of books from time to time. I also wanted a new bookmark. My old one was getting pretty ratty. Of course the bookmarks were right next to the check out line. So Master stood in the long line while I sprinted off to look at the bookmarks. I got an "Initial It" book mark. It has the initial of our last name as the top charm on a rope like bookmark. The charm at the bottom is a little red heart. It's perfect and I love it!

We were both really happy when we walked out of the store. Afterward we went out to dinner at a sit down restaurant, just the two of us. The one and only down side is that they were playing nothing but holiday music. I never really understood the point of a restaurant playing music anyway. After all most people talk while they eat, but whatever. We didn't let it ruin anything. We enjoyed our dinner and then headed home.

I know a lot of people wouldn't consider that a date day but we do. We both really enjoyed it. We need to do stuff like that more often honestly.

Also, Master did something really sweet that made a lot of people look at us funny. It was raining outside all day and we don't own umbrellas. But I'm a foot and three inches shorter than Him and He wears a leather trench coat. So He would have me walk right next to Him and use that side of His trench coat almost as a wing to keep me dry by holding it open and above my head. I found it incredibly sweet and yes, we did get some stares but we've never cared about that before and we're not about to start now.

All that's missing so far is great sex. I'm sure we'll take care of that part later on tonight.

Book Worm

For a long time I didn't really feel like reading very much. I'd read other blogs and that was about it. And even then it wasn't an every day thing. Part of the reason why I stopped reading so much (as in books) is because I either had read every book in the apartment at least five times, or I just wasn't really all that interested in the other ones.

But not that long ago Master and I went to a discount book store. He had picked up another book for His Brian Lumley collection, and had also found a book that He had enjoyed, that He thought I might like.

It's called "On A Pale Horse" by Piers Anthony. I was a huge fan of the Sandman comic book/graphic novel series (which Master introduced me too as well). He said this book series is very similar to the Sandman series. So at first I was like, "Okay. A book. Sure."

And then one day I finally picked it up. It took a little while for me to get into, but suddenly I started really getting interested in it. And now every night I read it. I love this book, and I look forward to reading the rest of the series. If I remember correctly Master said there are 9 books total in the series. So yay!

Plus I'm really glad that my reading bug has bitten me once more. I love to read. I even like to write, but I haven't had any ideas lately. Maybe one day. And then I'll become a famous author. *nods*