Highly Disappointed

Okay.. so I went from only being somewhat disappointed to being highly disappointed. Now, after the last blog post in regards to "Story of O" Master had told me that I need to keep in mind that this story is from 1958 and as a result things that seem rather dull and boring to me were rather exciting back then. People were shocked by a hell of a lot less than they are now.

So, the next time I picked up the book I kept that in mind. I literally just finished reading it about 15 minutes ago. I did not like the book at all. And it's not just because I wasn't "shocked" or "thrilled" by it. I don't think I've ever been shocked by a book. Thrilled? Yes.

As I continued to read the book I realized that the whole thing about Stephen King writing forever and a day about the wallpaper came to mind because the surroundings of the room were more and more lengthy as the book went on. I do not give a flying fuck what color the wood holding the mirror was. I don't. I really don't. Not one tiny bit. And yet, there you are describing the hell out of it. Does it add to the story? No. So what the hell are you taking such time to detail that shit rather than leaving it to the reader's imagination and moving on with the more juicy and/or important details? Ugh!

*HUGE Spoiler Alert*

And what really pissed me off about it is I got to the end of the book and O had just gotten done being put on display at a party and then taken out to be fucked by two guys repeatedly. At first I thought, "Well that was a weak ending."

Then I turn the page and it says... And I quote:

"In a final chapter, which has been suppressed, O returned to Roissy, where she was abandoned by Sir Stephen.

There exists a second ending to the story of O, according to which O, seeing that Sir Stephen was about to leave her, said she would prefer to die. Sir Stephen gave her his consent."

Are you fucking kidding me?! It's a short enough story to begin with. (199 pages) and then the entire final chapter isn't even there? What the hell?! And an alternate ending? Um... with a book it has one ending. That's it. End of story. Literally.

This isn't like it's the first printing. This is the ninth printing of the book.

Why would it be suppressed in the first place? If the book was finally allowed to be published again why is that final chapter still not allowed? I honestly did look on the web and can't seem to find a solid answer. It did mention that the alternate ending was removed by the author herself. Whether that is true or not I have no idea since I can't even find out why the original ending isn't in the book.

So, final wrap up...

Rene and O's relationship is basically non-existent. Rene went and fell in love with some model friend of O. O goes to a woman's house and gets her outer labia pierced and is then branded with Sir Stephen's initials. Sir Stephen and O are now in love and she doesn't even give a fuck that Rene doesn't love her anymore even though a few chapters earlier she was worried to death that he didn't.

Then the 15 year old sister of the model that Rene is now in love with is in love with O and wants to be like her. So they make plans to send the 15 year old off to Roissy with O. They never get to that part because, like I said, they ended the story with O being used by Sir Stephen and a guy named Commander after a party where she is literally just sat down and told to position herself a certain way so people can look at her and sometimes touch her.

The fact that the ending isn't there at all pisses me off. And then realizing that the ending was going to have Sir Stephen leave O anyway makes me look back and go, "Then why the fuck did you bother branding the bitch?"

But then again, that part can be very true. Even now. How many new found relationships with a dynamic in place immediately permanently mark the submissive (whether it be by branding or a tattoo) and then in two months they hate each other? Just from reading FetLife and blogs I stumbled across on the web it seems to be pretty damn frequent.

Granted I have permanent marks from Master that show His ownership of me. One is a scar He gave me and the other two are tattoos. But they weren't put there until after we had a couple of years under our belt. Does that mean we can't leave one another? Of course not. But at least there was a good length of time from the beginning of our relationship to the times where the scar was made and the tattoos were applied.

*sigh* I've gotten a little off point here.

Basically, I just read a book that had no ending and that pisses me off. It feels like I was left hanging. And granted I wasn't really enjoying the book to begin with but I had hung in there only to be presented with a page basically telling me yes, actually, there are two endings but we aren't going to give you either. Tough shit.

Somewhat Disappointed

I'm about half way through the "Story of O" book. Actually it may be a little over half way through. It's not a very long book at all. I'm use to reading books with over 300 pages and this has 199 pages. As I'm looking at the book itself I think of a short story, even though it's not. Anyway... I'm still on the fence about it. The writing style still seems broken. She's in the present one moment and then out of nowhere a memory is triggered and rather than a smooth transition it's very abrupt. It takes me a minute and sometimes I have to go back a couple of sentences to make sure I didn't miss anything. That is somewhat annoying. I can get past that though. To me it's like my having to look past the description of the wallpaper in a Stephen King book.

*shakes fist* Damn you Stephen! No one gives a damn about the wallpaper. There is no need for five paragraphs worth of a description you bastard! And yet he is still one of my favorite authors. Clive Barker, Neil Gaiman, and Stephen King. *nods*

Back to the book though... *HUGE Spoiler Alert*

It's not really coming off as kinky to me. She gets her ass beat and she gets fucked. I mean yes, there are rules and regulations she has to abide by but there isn't really anything severely hard core to me. And with all of the hype about it I guess I was just expecting more. *shrugs* Maybe it's just me.

Also, parts of it are coming across like the movie "The Secretary". If you've never seen the movie you may not get the reference. But the guy O is originally with, Rene, is supposed to be her master. Right? Right. He is also the one that she is in a romantic relationship with. She seems deathly afraid of losing him or him falling out of love with her. He's the one that first put her in that, for lack of a better term, training center. So he is the one that should be in charge.

But once she is out of there she is with Rene again and there is never any mention of him whooping her butt. It's all soft caresses and "I love yous". There isn't even really rough sex mentioned. Then this Sir Stephen dude enters the picture. Some guy Rene totally looks up to and apparently wants to fuck. Rene then says that Sir Stephen is her master first and he is second. Um... what the fuck?

When I was reading about her being in the training center I was expecting it was because he wanted her that way. But nope. Apparently it was so he could prepare her for the Stephen dude. It goes on to describe how Sir Stephen is the one whooping her ass and putting her through her paces. He's the "mean" one. Meanwhile the "original master" Rene doesn't even stay to watch, he just looks at the marks later and gets off on it but is unwilling to make the marks himself. Now both the "original master" Rene, and the "actual master" Stephen are in love with her and now plan to prostitute her off to their friends.

That's about where I am now. Like I said before, I'll continue to read the book all the way through. But parts of it put me off a bit. Maybe it's because I'm thinking of it as to how I would feel in that situation.

Let's say Master sent me off to a training center of some kind... First.. I'd be like "What the fuck?" After all no one can train me the way He wants me except for Him.

Okay, so that right there is odd. Then if I were to come out of there and then Master hands me off to this other guy, who I've never met and didn't even know existed, and tells me that this new dude is supposedly first in charge and He is now second in command but will drop everything He is doing to make sure that the other guy has me when he wants me. I would be so confused it wouldn't even be funny. Hell, at that point I'd be throwing my hands up and saying, "Fuck this. I'm out."

But then again, this is fiction. And perhaps most of my problem is that fact that I'm attempting to put myself in these situations. However, I can't really help that. I do that sometimes when I'm reading a book. Not often but it does happen. This just happens to be one of the books that I can't seem to stop myself from doing that.

Has anyone else read this book? Opinions? Do you think I'm way off the mark on this one?

Something New to Read

The other day when we went to visit Grandpa we had followed my dad out to Grandpa's house, like I had mentioned. While we were out there I had asked if I could dig through the book collection that Grandpa had held onto that Grandma owned. She had a lot of books. She had a major in English and was a school teacher so she loved to read, and had instilled that in me from a very young age.

I didn't ask to do so in such a way that it meant I wanted to start taking things I wanted out of Grandpa's house already. It was simply because I'm currently unemployed and needed something new to read. I can't afford to buy anything new. I didn't figure anyone would care if I took a couple of books. It's not like they are worth anything. My dad and uncle said that would be fine. So off I went to a side bedroom that had been converted into a sewing room. That's where all the toys my brother and I use to play with and Grandma's book collection are.

It took me a little while. It's a pretty big collection and some of the older books didn't have the title on the spine so I had to pull them out to see what it was. I actually took so long that my dad came back there to check on me. It's not like he thought I was trying to take anything I wasn't supposed to. He just was worried I was having a hard time getting to some of them.

Anyway, there I am digging through them. I found a book on North American birds that I thought Master would love. He already had a similar book at home but this one was huge so I thought He would like to flip through it. I selected a couple of other books and then I came across one that made me look twice.

I couldn't believe it was there... I had never read it before but I knew exactly what it was about. It's "Story of O".

I sat there looking at the cover for a few minutes just kind of in disbelief. I mean... come on now... this is my grandmother we're talking about. Yes, I know she was an adult woman and all that but I don't think anyone really expects to see a book like that in a collection of books their grandma had.

Did that stop me from taking it? Nope. After all, I had heard so much about it and I had honestly wanted to read it but never really wanted to spend money on it since I had read mixed reviews on it.

One of the reviews in the book before the story actually begins said that the author, Pauline Réage, is a more dangerous writer than Marquis de Sade. Somehow I doubt that. I mean I've only read snippets of his work but... damn... I mean he was arrested for his writings for fucks sake. His family had to intervene to get him out of jail and into an insane asylum where he was refused pen and paper. (Note to self:  Find Marquis de Sade books.) From what I know of Pauline Réage some writings were banned but she never took it to the edge that Marquis de Sade did.

Anyway...

I started reading "Story of O" last night and I'm not a full chapter in yet, because my eyes were starting to bother me, but so far I'm not entirely sure what I think of it. I understand that it was translated from French to English and so I'm sure some things didn't translate well. I may just not be used to the writing style yet. I'm going to read it all the way through though, regardless. I just want to see what happens and how it ends just so I can basically form a full opinion of the book.

Reading is Fun for Mentals

I saw a meme the other day that got my mind going. Yes, I know. It sounds really stupid that I would get inspiration for a post from a damn internet meme. However, it is a topic that I have wondered about in the past so I might as well run with it. Right? Right.

I have been Master's slave for 95% of our relationship. It was a long road filled with odds and ends and our basically trying to figure out what works for us. There were bumps in the road, as there always are regardless of what kind of relationship you have. But, that isn't really the point of this post. If you want a better background of how we got to where we are now, please read about it here. It's a somewhat vague history but it gives you the general idea.

Anyway... here is the meme I am referring to:

I have honestly never read any of those books. I of course knew about them rather quickly. After all they were promoting that book series left, right, and center. But when I saw my sister-in-law talk about it on a social network site I was floored to say the least. From everything I know about her she is a prude. I have no other way to put it. And she is also constantly complaining about how her husband (Master's brother) wants sex and she hates how he asks for it so frequently. She also bitches that he expects it without doing anything for it first. Apparently, without a dynamic in place, she thinks it should be earned like a reward. It's almost like she considers it a favor unless she wants to get knocked up. She's a prude and a feminist. *nods* I would say those two words sum her up rather well. I get along with her, don't get me wrong. But we are on two very different sides of that spectrum. Of course she doesn't know that. No one does.

But when she was saying how she had read it and had borrowed the book from a friend of her's I was floored. Like I said, admittedly I have never read any of the books. But from everything I had heard/read about it, it involves some level of kink to it. One person described it to me as a romance novel with a side of kink thrown in. I don't know how accurate that is though. *shrugs*

I have read the Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice. Granted those books are highly impossible with some of the things they wrote in there. Guys keeping their dicks hard constantly? Yeah. Sure. Yet a doctor will say if it lasts more than four hours you need to go to an ER. Of course there are other things in that book series that are impossible or at the very least highly improbable. However it was still an enjoyable series for me. Some of those things are entirely possible in the right scenario. Hell some of it I know damn well Master would do to me given the opportunity.

When I first heard about the 50 Shades book series I'll admit that my curiosity was a little peaked. After all I heard kink and I guess some form of dynamic was involved and you don't really read many books with that kind of thing going on. But I never did because the more I found out about it, the more it seemed to come off as a romance novel with things in it that "vanilla" people would find kinky but I would find boring as hell.

Has anyone read them? Thoughts?

I know that there will never really be a fictional book dealing with kink or a dynamic based relationship within an over all story setting that I will find 100% believable. I have a feeling that no matter what I read in that line of writing the book(s) will either have one of the following effects on me:

1. It will be way too far fetched and come off as ridiculous.
2.  Some of it will be far fetched but other parts will seem possible and as a result keep my interest.
3. It will disappoint me to the point of absolute boredom.

That may seem harsh since I've only ever really read the Sleeping Beauty series. There have been short stories and what not but they pretty much fell under the first category.  The Sleeping Beauty series fell under the second category. The 50 Shades series sounds, from everything I have heard about them, will fall under category three and as a result aren't worth buying, even if they are cheap.

It's kind of funny though because I have a feeling that if those had come out when I was an older teenager I would have snatched them up. Why? That kind of thing always interested me. I didn't really know if I actually ever wanted to be involved in such a thing but I knew that it interested me from a rather early age. But now? Well, after being in a Master/slave relationship for basically 11 years (and counting) I think I may just fall asleep while reading it out of pure boredom. Or maybe I would ready a couple of chapters, promptly decide it was a waste of time and money, and get rid of it.

When it comes to books I am very selective about it. After all, I'm spending money here and I want to make sure that I'll want to read it multiple times. That does somewhat limit the number of books I own/will buy but as a result I very, very rarely regret buying a book. I'm honestly more picky about the books I read than the movies I watch. Movies to me can be something I watch simply to kill time. But with a book? Nope. Can't do it. I have to be able to throw myself into it even if I am only reading a little bit of it here and there.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

One of my favorite things to do is to sit down with a book and get lost in it. The only problem is that I've ready all of the books we have a thousand times, if not more. Some of my favorite books we don't own anymore and honestly I don't think it'd be worth it to buy them again because I'd probably read it once and not touch it for a few years.

I need something new. But that brings up another problem. I don't want to spend money on a book and then not like it. Then I'd be stuck with a book I didn't like and a receipt I'll get pissed about. We have a library close to home but it's only open when I'm at work. Perhaps I'll check it out on one of my upcoming half day Fridays. I don't know.

I just don't know which aisle I'd wander down though. I have a feeling they won't have the kind of books I'd want to read. It's a rather small library. But who knows. I could get lucky.

So I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone have any suggestions for good books? I'm open to pretty much any genre (except for non-fiction).

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

After all, it's winter, even if it doesn't feel like it just yet. But winter is one of the best times of the year to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket, propped up on pillows and reading a book while sipping coffee. I miss doing that. 

I Suck At Stalking People

You know that list of blogs I read on the right hand side of the screen? No, down a little bit more. Yes, that one! I will admit that I check some of them more regularly than others. We are all guilty of that! Stop judging me.

But for quite some time now I just haven't had the time to go through and read other blogs. Like the post title says, I suck at stalking people. Stalking takes time that I just don't have lately. Work is cutting into my stalking time!

So anyway, I sat down tonight and decided that I was going to sit the fuck down and stalk, I mean read, the blogs on my blogroll. So I'm clicking through and reading posts when I come to a link that is locked. Huh? Apparently one of them was set to invite only. Okay then.. So I go through my layout and remove that link.

I then proceed my stalking only to find a link that is no longer active. I shit you not it took me right to Go Daddy. Fuck. Deleted that one too. Then come two more that are no longer active! Ack! I honestly have no idea how long those links have been dead. No idea what so fucking ever.

It sucks trying to go to a blog that you enjoy but haven't been able to read in a while only to find that it's no longer there.

Hey, I get it. Sometimes you just want to stop or you don't have the time or you no longer want to share with the world. I totally understand. It's not like I actually get mad about it or anything. I'm not that crazy. But still, it's a bit of a bummer ya know?

I never plan on deleting this blog. It may seem like a chore to do a blog post sometimes but I know I'll always come back to it. But it almost makes me wonder what people would think if they clicked on a link to my blog and magically it was no longer there. I doubt it would really be a big deal to anyone aside from me. But I like to think some people would think it would suck. *laughs*

Book Worm

For a long time I didn't really feel like reading very much. I'd read other blogs and that was about it. And even then it wasn't an every day thing. Part of the reason why I stopped reading so much (as in books) is because I either had read every book in the apartment at least five times, or I just wasn't really all that interested in the other ones.

But not that long ago Master and I went to a discount book store. He had picked up another book for His Brian Lumley collection, and had also found a book that He had enjoyed, that He thought I might like.

It's called "On A Pale Horse" by Piers Anthony. I was a huge fan of the Sandman comic book/graphic novel series (which Master introduced me too as well). He said this book series is very similar to the Sandman series. So at first I was like, "Okay. A book. Sure."

And then one day I finally picked it up. It took a little while for me to get into, but suddenly I started really getting interested in it. And now every night I read it. I love this book, and I look forward to reading the rest of the series. If I remember correctly Master said there are 9 books total in the series. So yay!

Plus I'm really glad that my reading bug has bitten me once more. I love to read. I even like to write, but I haven't had any ideas lately. Maybe one day. And then I'll become a famous author. *nods*