Goodbye 2013

It's the end of the year. Ya know, sometimes it feels like time is dragging by so slowly and then before you know it the upcoming year is literally just around the corner. Which of course starts it's own chain of events right off of the bat.

In January we have three family birthdays. February we have one family birthday. And then in March it is my birthday and our anniversary. After that, if I remember correctly, we have a very small window of no birthdays or any other celebrations. In fact I think it's only for the month of April. I can't remember right now.

It seems like I was just doing a post about Goodbye 2012 yesterday. Like I said most of the time the days and weeks and months seem to go at a snail's pace. But then a significant date comes along and you realize that it seems like it was all gone in the blink of an eye. Whether they are personally significant dates or a major holiday.

One thing I know for sure is that I'm going to be constantly having to do this: 2013 2014. You would think it wouldn't be that big of a deal. After all you're writing a different date every single day and then in four weeks you're writing a different month. But once the clock ticks over to 2014 suddenly I keep screwing it up. Probably because you do it for 12 months before having to change it.

Either way it's annoying. Especially since I am constantly typing in dates at work. So having to correct the year every time I fuck it up gets old really fast. Which again makes you think I would catch on sooner. But no. It normally takes me until the beginning of February before I'm entering the correct year.

We had been invited over to BC's place for New Year's Eve. Well, his and his wife's place I should say. But Master and I both decided that we didn't want to go. We never hear from him. We try to make contact and it's short lived. He is so caught up in everything else, it's like he really doesn't have time for us. At least that's how it seems to me.

Another part of why we didn't want to go is because most of his wife's family is going to be there and we don't get along with them due to their reaction to us. They seem to not approve of us. Which is funny, since we're not the ones who married into their family.

And yet, last but not least, they are going to have a lot of kids there. Now, don't get me wrong it's not that I don't like children. I do. But these kids don't know how to behave, they get away with murder, and the last time we were around them we both got really sick.

Plus, who has people over and invites their children as well for a New Year's Eve party? Normally at such things adults are getting drunk and loud.

See, there's another thing. Drunk people. Lots of them. Drunk people who don't like us and we don't like them. And I really, really don't like being around people who are drunk. Master has never been drunk around me. Hell He hasn't been drunk since we first started dating almost 11 years ago. He has been rather tipsy, which is actually kind of funny. But He has never been drunk.

I've been drunk twice in my life. I'm 30 years old and I've only been drunk twice. Both times it wasn't that I was trying to get drunk. It was one of those things where the drinks were so sweet that I didn't really taste the alcohol and I didn't realize how much I had until after I was drunk. I went from feeling fine and a tiny bit tipsy to feeling sick to my stomach and like the room was spinning around me. I hated the feeling. I hated it even more the second time around because I honestly didn't think I had all that much. I'm a lightweight though, so that doesn't really surprise me.

And now that I'm on my medication I don't drink hardly at all. Why? The medication seriously heightens and speeds up how I am feeling. So one drink can get me fucked up. I'm not kidding. I think the most I've had is 3/4 of a Smirnoff Ice. And even then I was already tipsy, which is why I stopped. Sometimes when Master is having a drink I'll have a sip here and there. But I'm afraid to have a whole drink of my own. I don't want to get drunk. I don't mind tipsy. Tipsy can be fun. But I have no idea, with this medication, how thin of a line that is.

So, lets see here. You have a friend inviting us over that we hardly hear from, and actually he isn't the one that invited us, it was his wife. Then there are a group of people we don't know and/or don't like us, you have a bunch of kids that can't behave and are constantly sick, and you have two people (Master and myself) who don't drink a lot.

And typically that's what parties for New Year's Eve are about. Drinking. So no thank you. I'll just be at home with my Husband and chill all night.

Claw Marks

We didn't go to bed until a little after 3am last night. And once we did go to bed we had incredibly hot sex.

He played with my tits, which is a sure fire way of getting me revved up. My nipples have always been sensitive and since I've had them pierced they have been even more sensitive, in a good way. I love my piercings. He would squeeze my tits and flick His tongue against my piercings. They are horseshoe jewelry so it feels amazing when He does that. When He switched to tormenting my right tit with His mouth He used His free hand to continue playing with my left one. I was completely lost in the sensations. When He stopped and knelt up I gasped. He told me to slide up, which I of course did. He settled in between my legs and lapped,, sucked, and flicked His tongue all over my pussy.

And when He dipped His fingers into me and pressed His fingers against my g-spot while rolling my clit with His tongue it didn't take long for me to be flooded with warmth and endorphins. I was completely out of breath when He was done and I was overly sensitive. All He had to do was breath on my clit and I was flinching and trying to back away.

He knelt up and told me He would let me catch my breath, as long as I could breathe with a mouthful of cock. I giggled and quickly moved into position. He gathered my hair in His hands and I alternated between slow and fast. Sometimes I would "hug" the underside of His cock with the length of my tongue. That always gets a moan out of Him. Towards the end I pulled back, letting His cock slip out, and focused on just using my tongue to please Him.

He told me to get onto my back after a while. I think I was a little eager to do so, as He chuckled at me when I moved so quickly.

We never do just a normal missionary position. There always has to be a little something different. Whether it's the way He positions His hips or I raise one leg up. Sometimes He'll rotate His hips while He's fucking me, which is what He did this time. After allowing me to cum He knelt up and bounced meoff of His cock while I raised my arms above my head and crossed my wrists. I know that He loves seeing me to do that and loves the way my tits bounce.

Eventually He just placed my ankles up and over His shoulders and leaned forward, essentially bending me in half. (Thankfully I'm still flexible as hell. Hopefully that will continue to be the case as He loves bending me like a pretzel.)

He started to rotate His hips again but it was different this time. He would rotate His hips while pulling out a little further than usual before slamming His cock back into me. This made it so His cock was constantly hitting my pussy at a different angle. Delicious.

He ordered me to cum one last time, which seemed to have triggered His own. He already had a grip on the bed above my head. And when He came He clawed the bed, leaning on me more so He wouldn't lose balance.

Afterward I was kind of giggling at Him saying that He must have gotten off rather hard. He said, "Like you couldn't tell?"

Well yes I could, in a few ways. First it was the way His cock was throbbing as He filled me. Another was the way He was growling. And last but not least it was the fact that He leaned forward even more to get deeper inside me while clawing the bed. I again teased Him that I was surprised that our bedsheets were still intact. From the sound of it I could have sworn there would be claw marks shredding the sheet into pieces.

I know I've been surprised sometimes when I do that and the sheets were still in one piece.

I find it incredibly sexy when that happens. You know you've made your lover get off pretty damn hard when they claw at the bed like that.

Scramble

Things seem to be going so well, and then something has to come along and *bam* Something has to ruin it.

The car had literally just started making loud noises while braking about four days ago. At first I just figured ice and crud had gotten under there. But when it didn't go away... yeah. Master told me to take the car in as soon as possible. Well they close at 6pm and I don't even get down to our place until 5:30pm when I'm coming home from work. So I figured I would just take the car in Saturday and see what the hell was up. Yeah.. well yesterday on the way to work the noise was significantly worse. So I called the mechanic to see if they could just take a peek at it for me. They closed at 6pm so I got there in time for them to take a look at her. Well, she needed front brake pads and rotors. If it had just been the pads it wouldn't have been that big of a deal but rotors too? Fuck.

That means juggling some shit. And they told me that she would not be safe to drive to my job tomorrow (meaning today) because there was a very good chance that the brakes would seize up. That's not good. We only have the one car and none of our friends or family live around here. So how the hell was I going to pull this off?

I couldn't take off work. I'm out of time. I mean if I had to I had to. I'd rather be breathing and not total the car thank you very much. But Master and I were worried about it. My job has a huge thing about going over your allotted time for the year. I had called my mom to tell her what was going on because I was kind of freaking out and needed to vent a bit aside from venting completely on Master. About 10 minutes after I got off the phone with her my brother called me. (He lives upstairs from our mother.)

He immediately said that I could use his car to get to and from work. I was wondering how the fuck that was going to work given the fact that he lives 45 minutes away and there was no way for us to drive our car down there and then follow each other up. The brakes weren't good enough to drive to and from my job they definitely weren't up to driving down to my brother's and back.

He told me that if he could crash at our place he would bring up the car that night and then I would just take his car to work and back and then he would take his car home. Fuck yeah! So he crashed here last night. And while I was at work Master oh so very carefully drove the car down to the mechanic's shop. They gave Him and my brother a ride back to our place and they picked them up when the car was done so He could pay the bill and all that.

Driving my brother's car was fucking weird. It's very touchy which I had to get use to. Our car responds really well but my brother's was touchy. When I got home from work I parked his car and we ate dinner together before he headed home.

And now that car's brakes are done. There are a couple of rather expensive things that they pointed out we'll want to get taken care of in the near future. That's is going to be one of those things where we have to save up for first. But at least the immediate concern is taken care of and she is once again safe to drive.

On Repeat

I sometimes get songs stuck in my head and they normally come out of thin air. As in I have no idea why they all of a sudden smacked me in the face.

I normally have to play them at least three times to at least stop the song from swimming around in my head for a while. About a couple of hours ago for some reason one particular song just wouldn't stop playing in my head. And the shitty part was that it was just a portion of the song stuck on repeat. It wasn't even the entire song! That is worse to me. I'd rather have the whole song stuck in my head rather than just one portion of it. Normally, if a song gets stuck in my head Master either loves, likes, or doesn't mind the song I want to play. However, there are a few select songs that He just absolutely hates. And when He hears me play them He tells me that I have bad taste in music. *laughs* Never mind the fact that 85% of our tastes in music match up. But there are songs/bands on both sides of the fence that we just look at one another and go, "Really?" So when He says I have bad taste in music He is just saying it about those select few and I do the same thing to Him.

Guess what category this song fell on? Yeah.. He hates it.

So I hopped online, put in my ear buds, cranked it up, and grooved to it. I even went so far as to just close my eyes, bow my head, and completely focus on the song. As soon as it finished I took the bar and placed it at the beginning again. I believe I did that four times right in a row. It seems excessive I know. But that's just how my brain works for some reason. Which is part of the reason it sucks when I get a song stuck in my head at work. There is nothing I can do about it.

The song isn't even from a band I like! It's just one song of theirs that I heard on the radio one time and since then it has been popping up every now and again. I don't like the band but I love the song itself.

What is the song you ask? It's "Smells Like A Freak Show" by Avatar.




It's not my normal style of music. I'm into rock, hard rock, and metal for the most part. The me this falls outside of that area. I'm not even sure what the label it under. *shrugs* I think part of the reason I love it so much is well, one the subject of the song. I find it interesting. The second part is that the lead singer's voice is odd. It's different. And typically I love songs that have an interesting lead vocal. That's one reason why I love WASP and King Diamond. No, I'm not comparing those to this song. They are nothing like this song. I'm just saying that both bands have really interesting lead vocals.

Here is an example of a WASP song I love so you can hear his voice. It's "My Tortured Eyes".




And here is an example of a King Diamond song I love so you can hear his voice. It's "Life After Death".




So yeah, it's all over the board I know. But they all have very interesting vocals. At least they do in my opinion.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot

Between Saturday and early Sunday we got a fuck ton of snow. Okay, that's not true. It was 7 inches. (The snow you pervs.) But still! I'm sure it seemed like more simply because the way the roads and parking lot were.

Friday night when the plows came through our parking lot they had plowed all of the cars in. Which fucking blows by the way. I figured I would just have to deal with it Monday morning when I left for work. It would mean that I would have to get up pretty early, but it couldn't be helped. I've dealt with worse after all.

We had made plans for my dad to come up on Sunday about a week ago. We were all thinking that it wouldn't be possible due to the weather. But by the time my dad called to see if it was still okay to come over, the roads were plowed and it wasn't snowing anymore. (I know because I walked outside to check.) Dad said it was pretty clear down by him too. So we all decided to keep the plans and he headed on up. When he got here he called me and I went outside to meet him at his car. I needed to run an errand but because my car was plowed in I wasn't able to do so and I really didn't feel like digging it out when I knew he was on his way up. It wasn't like it was an important errand but Dad had offered.

Master took the dog out soon after I walked outside to meet my dad at the car. We ran the errand which took about 10 minutes total. When we got back to my place I saw that Master was still outside. I figured He was still taking the dog out. It can take a little while sometimes. But my dad and I walk into the apartment and there is the dog, chilling out. Okay..

I didn't want to leave my dad alone because that would be rude as hell and his back wasn't up to walking around again for a little while. So we sat and talked for a while. He told me that he wanted to tell me something but I had to swear that I wouldn't tell anyone else. I was just about to ask if I could tell my Husband when he said, "Ya know what? I'll just wait until (insert Master's name here) gets back inside."

Okay, well that solves the problem of my possibly having to keep something from Him. We continued to chit chat until Master came in. His entire jacket was covered in snow and He was sweating. Apparently after He took the dog out He decided to dig out my car and brush it down for me. How sweet is that?!

My dad smiled when Master said that. My dad likes to know that He takes care of me. Well, actually he knows that my Husband takes care of me, but that doesn't mean he won't smile when he sees it in action.

Anyway, after Master got settled and all that my dad started the whole "I'm about to tell you something but you have to swear not to tell anyone" thing. Master looked at me and He looked a little worried. I was too. It obviously wasn't bad news because Dad wasn't upset. So.. what the fuck could it be? I was almost afraid to find out. But Master and I swore that we wouldn't.

And then my dad dropped a fucking bomb on us. Seriously. I was more than shocked.

A little back story first... He is dating a woman that I knew when I was growing up because her and her husband and my mom and dad (they were married at the time) hung out. So I saw her a lot. They haven't seen each other in person for about well.. I'd say about 20 years? I am not exaggerating. But they are dating and talking on the phone every day multiple times a day. Dad had planned twice on going own there as she lives out of state. Like way out of state. But each time the plans had to be cancelled due to legitimate things that stopped it from happening. Apparently she is coming up to visit some of the family she still has here and then plans on spending about 3 days up here with my dad before they both go down to where she lives now and dad will spend a week down there. It's a few months off.

Okay, back to the part where the bomb goes off... My dad paused for a moment almost like he didn't know how to say it but was grinning like a fool at the same time.

He said, "I might be getting married again."

WHAT THE FUCK!?

Another bit of back story. When my parents got a divorce, almost 14 years ago, he swore up and down that he was never getting married again. Ever. My parents had been together for 25 years and he didn't want to be tied down again, in so far as a marriage goes.

So... um... you haven't seen this chick face to face in about 20 years but you are talking about marrying her? Um. Well. You're a grown ass man and you know whats best for you.. but still.

He told us that she had actually brought it up, which also shocked me because she had told my dad, in the beginning, that she never wanted to get married again. So.. yeah. I'm rather speechless here.

I just asked him a question that was the only thing that floated through the shock.

"Would you be getting married down there or up here?"

He told me that it would most likely be down there. That kind of upset me. I was there when my mother and her current husband got married. I want to be there if and when my dad ever gets married again. He's my dad after all and I love him. I would like to share that happy moment with him.

I told him that I would really, really want to be there but I didn't know if I would financially be able to. I know it's a ways off (not sure how long since they seem to be getting this into high gear faster than you can breathe) but I also know that would be an expensive as hell trip regardless of when it is.

My dad said he understood and that he wouldn't be mad about it. Well, no. I know that. I also know he wouldn't be able to finance the trip, or even half of it, for Master and I to go down there.

I might just bend over backwards to get down there if I have to. Like I said, I would want to be there. I can't imagine just waiting for a rare trip up here to see him and congratulate him. As is, I'm going to have a hard enough time not being able to see him whenever I want. A really hard time to be completely honest. My dad and I are really close.

We'll see where it goes and how fast. After that is locked down Master and I will have to figure it out from there.

Surprise!

There are certain things that I do that are kind of sneaky. Okay, not kind of. They are totally sneaky. But sometimes it's called for! I have proof!

There aren't many things that I do "behind Master's back" so to speak. I know that makes it sound bad, but it's not. It's always a good thing like a surprise present or something along those lines. This time, it was a present. Now it was kind of for me too but honestly, it was mainly for Him. Yesterday I got my holiday bonus from my job. Honestly, I wasn't sure if we were going to get one this year because the company has claimed that this past year has been a little rough on business. Really? Then why am I constantly busting my ass to try and keep up on my work flow? But that's not the point to this story. The point is that I got one and that it was my half day at work.

Right after I clocked out I sent Master a text to tell Him that I would be running a little late getting home because I had to run a couple of errands. That part was true. There were three things I needed to do before I went home. I held my breath waiting for His response, worried that He would ask me what errands. Sometimes He does that. Thankfully this time He did not ask. I didn't want to lie to Him, so I was glad He didn't ask. He just sent me a text back saying He loves me and to drive safely. It was really icy out so He was a bit worried.

Most of the ice on the main roads were treated with salt so it wasn't that bad. I was still careful though.

Anyway, I dropped off the passenger in my carpool like I do every work day so that doesn't count as an errand. I then stopped at the store to buy soda and a couple of other things. After that I went to the bank to deposit my holiday bonus check. Okay, one more stop. And this is the one I was doing behind His back.

I went to the game store. Ya see, the Xbox 360 we currently had was starting to die on us. The reader had gone completely a few months ago. I think part of that is because we were also using it as a DVD player. But even with that it lasted quite a few years. But since the reader had died I knew other things were going to start breaking on it.

I walked into the game store and immediately went up to the counter. I told them that I needed an Xbox 360 with a 250GB hard drive. That is the largest hard drive they sell. The one on the starting to die Xbox 360 had 175GB. Fuck that, I'm going to top it!

They only had the holiday bundle one. It had the Xbox 360 and two games inside. Tomb Raider and Halo 4. Master doesn't play either of those games. But oh well. The Tomb Raider game was just a little slip of paper with a code on it but the Halo 4 game was actually a physical game. So the dude rings it up and asks me if I want the one year warranty. I asked how much it was and asked for the details on it. It was going to be an extra $30 but it meant that if anything at all went wrong with it, whether it be the system itself, one of the cords.. whatever... all we had to do was bring it back to the store and they would replace it with a brand new one. There was no way I could turn that down. Sure, slap that one year warranty on there. Apparently with the one year warranty you got another game for free. That game was Call of Duty: Ghosts. Another game Master doesn't play but hey it was free.

I'm normally a cheap skate but when I saw the total I didn't even blink. I paid for it and left. This was important. Plus, I had felt so bad when the reader died on the old one because I had literally just bought Him Batman Arkham Origins. (He loves Batman.) So He couldn't even enjoy it anymore.

But back to the story here. I oh so carefully carried the giant bag out to the car. I then opened up the front passenger door of the car. I placed it in the seat and I literally buckled it in with the seat belt. I got a few odd looks from people walking by, let me tell ya. But I didn't want the run the risk of having to brake suddenly or something like that and it sliding all around the car.

When I got home I parked the car and left everything else in the car for the time being. I unbuckled the seat belt and oh so carefully walked it up to the apartment door. I was afraid He was going to be sitting in His recliner and see it right away. But He wasn't. He was sitting the computer chair with His back to me. He said welcome home and all that. I quietly walked over to where He was sitting and put the entire bag in the chair next to Him. (We have two computer chairs side by side at the desk.) He turned His head to look at it, gave me a weird look and raised His eyebrow.

"What is it?"

Of course I was grinning like the cat who ate the canary. "Look in the bag Daddy."

So He does and His eyes got huge. Especially when He saw how big the hard drive is. He kept saying thank you. He was like a giant little kind sitting at the tree on Xmas morning opening presents. The look on His face made me very happy.

Like I said it was partially for me too because we watch Netflix and You Tube on it. But He knew it was mainly for Him. He said, "I'm going to be busy this afternoon!"

Yes, yes He was. He hooked it up to the TV, set it up, and named it. Yes, you can name your system in the console settings. After that was all said and done He installed all of His games to the hard drive so that when He wants to play them all He has to do is have the game in the reader so it can verify He actually owns it but then it stops spinning and just plays it off the hard drive. And now we have a DVD player so that reader should last for a very, very long time since it will barely be used.

He played with it on and off but didn't go hog while on it. He wanted to spend time with me without playing a video game. I was more than ready to just sit reading a book or dicking around online while He played the hell out of His games, but surprisingly that didn't happen.

As for the two physical games that He got for free with the holiday bundle, we will be trading those in to get a game He actually wants. We will hopefully do that today before the weather gets bad since we have a winter storm heading our way starting around 6pm and lasting all day tomorrow.

He told me that I won the wife of the year award. *grins* I'm so happy I could pull this off without Him knowing about it. I don't do it very often, but sometimes I just want to surprise Him.

One Track Mind

Master was picking on me the other day. We were messaging back and forth while I was on my lunch break and I was apologizing for falling asleep on the couch the night before.

I know I don't need to apologize for such things. It's not like He gets mad at me or anything. I'm actually the one that gets mad about it because I don't have a lot of time with Him during the work week, so when I get it I want to enjoy it as much as possible. Falling asleep on the couch of course takes some of that away. But He said what He always says. "Babe, you were tired and you need your sleep." I haven't been sleeping very well. Well, actually that's not entirely true. When I go to bed lately, for the most part, I fall asleep almost instantly and I hardly wake up throughout the night. What I mean when I say I haven't been sleeping well is that it doesn't seem to be enough. I'll get five hours of sleep a night normally.

Not bad. Not great but not bad. Things have been so fucked up at work it's just wearing me the fuck out mentally. And when I get tired mentally my body wants to shut down. And that's when I start doing shit like falling asleep on the couch.

After I was done needlessly apologizing He asked me why I was so upset about it aside from the fact that I wanted to stay up and spend more time with Him. I was very honest. I believe it went a little something like this, "Because I'd like to be awake enough to fuck."

Yeah. A bit blunt I know. But that's how I am.

He "laughed" and said, "I thought guys were supposed to be the ones with the one track minds?"

Fuck that! Guys don't get to have all the fun damnit.

He was just making fun of me though. I have a high sex drive. I know this. He knows this. And I'm rather proud of it actually. Plus, I don't hear Him bitching.. so it's all good.

Over the weekend we got some great sex in but it's just annoying me that lately we haven't been fucking during the work week. I know it's mainly because I've been so exhausted to the point that even if I am awake and all that I probably won't be as active as I normally am during sex.

He also worries about me and part of that concern is making sure I get as much sleep as I can when I'm like this. I understand it and I appreciate it, but I still want to get dick. *laughs*

Damn You Blog

My blog is apparently attempting to get me into trouble. The bitch.

I didn't do a blog post on Friday as currently the rule is every other night. I posted on Thursday and Friday was my night "off" from the blog. So obviously my next post would be "due" on Saturday.

Well, Saturday morning the mutt got me up like he always does. Saturdays are my day to take the dog out and Sunday is Master's. So, the mutt hops up on the foot of my side of the bed and bounces off of it. This is how he wakes me up. It startles me every damn time.

I get bundled up and take him out. I was hoping to be able to go back to bed and get some more sleep. But that wasn't in the cards. As soon as I got inside and took of my jacket and gloves I knew I was awake and there was no way that I was going to be able to go back to bed without just tossing and turning, aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep.

As a result I just stayed up while Master continued to sleep. I figured that I might as well just go ahead and do my blog post then so I didn't have to do it later that night. Sounds good, right?

I type out my post and then hit "publish" to make it to post to the blog. I even posted a direct link of the post to my Twitter. I do that every time I make a post in case any of the people who follow me want to click the link and read that particular post.

Once that is done I just dick around online and end up watching Divorce Court on YouTube. Once Master wakes up we spend the rest of the day just relaxing.

I didn't think about my blog at all since I had already done the post. However, later on Sunday Master asks me why I hadn't made a blog post yesterday (Saturday). I look at him, dumbfounded, and say, "I did make a post Saturday."

He tells me to come over to the computer and bring up my blog. I did. And sure as shit my Saturday post wasn't there. I wasn't going crazy, I knew I damn well made that fucking post. I actually started to freak out a little bit. I didn't want Master thinking that I had disobeyed, especially when I only have to do a post every other night.

I quickly login to my blog and look at the post list. Oh, it was there. But it was only a draft. It had never actually published. What the fuck?! How would I post it to my Twitter account without having already published it. I showed Master that it had been made but that it had somehow ended up only saving itself rather than publishing to the blog.

He said, "Well at least there is a valid explanation."

I let out a sigh of relief and immediately published the post. Hence why the date on my last post says it's from Sunday rather than Saturday.

I have no idea how it just ended up as a draft to begin with. I was more than awake to realize what I was doing and which button I was clicking. I remember hitting the publish button, going to the homepage of my blog, clicking the link, and putting the direct link on my Twitter. I don't know if it somehow reverted to a draft after the fact or what... A hiccup in the system maybe? Who knows.

I'm just glad I could show Master that the post had actually been done.

Winter Has Arrived

Yesterday they were saying we were supposed to get 5 to 8 inches of snow and that it was supposed to start around 5pm. As a result I was sitting there at work just hoping that it would wait until I got home from work. And when I left work it wasn't snowing so I was very happy. I made a quick stop on my way home to pick up a few things to make sure we didn't have to go drive in it.

Last night I would periodically look outside to see how bad it was. No snow. Not even a dusting. It was almost 3:30am by the time I fell asleep on the couch and it hadn't started yet. So I figured it was going to be as bad as they said it was going to be. It's supposed to be lake effect snow and we live about a half mile off the lake so I figured we would get hit pretty hard. But since it hadn't started yet I figured it wasn't going to be that bad.

Then I get up this morning to take the dog out and sure as fuck it's snowing. There wasn't a lot on the ground yet but the snow was coming down pretty hard and steady so I'm guessing that by tonight we should have about 5 inches of snow.

I'm just glad we don't have to go anywhere today. We shouldn't have to leave the apartment at all except for when the dog has to go outside to do his business.

So far we haven't had our typical severe winter storms. But it's still pretty early in the winter season. Hell, a few years back we had a blizzard that we didn't really think was going to be as bad as it was and then boom... we couldn't even get out the door of the apartment. So who knows. Our winters can be rather unpredictable at times.

Painted Nails

I've never been a girly girl. Never. Yes, I can wear heels. But I don't see that as girly. Maybe because of the kind of heels I like. *shrugs* Black, high, and at least somewhat comfortable.

Since I was a little kid I've been seen as a tom boy. I hated wearing dresses when I was a kid. I preferred to be comfortable. I don't mind dresses now, depending on what it is. I mean come on now, I wore a black dress for our wedding. Yes, I love the color (or lack there of) black. Black, gray, dark blue, dark red, and dark purple. They all flow together pretty well. And that is the majority of my wardrobe. There are a few exceptions of course.

Anyway, my point is that as much as I'm not a girly girl I love having painted nails. I almost always have my toenails painted. This went through my mind because while I was taking my shower tonight, I looked down and it actually looked weird to me because I don't have any nail polish on my toenails. None. I don't know why it looked weird, it just did.

The funny thing is that Master told me a long time ago that I'm the first woman He's dated (we were just dating at the time) that paints their toenails. That surprised me.

I love having my fingernails painted too, but they chip so damn easily! It gets frustrating. They will look awesome for a few days and then it starts to chip away.

My toenails don't do that. They stay painted until I take it off. No chipping. So most of the time I'll walk around with just my toenails painted and no nail polish on my fingernails. I'm sure to some people, if they saw my feet, would think it looked stupid. But I like it. Master doesn't seem to mind either. There have been plenty of times where I'll sit on the couch and paint my toenails without putting any on my fingernails. He just tells me it looks nice.

He doesn't really care honestly. I mean I think He likes it but I don't think He cares whether they are painted or not. That doesn't stop me from asking if He likes the color. Or I'll pull out two or three different colors and ask Him to pick one out. He never gets irritated with me when I do that. It doesn't happen frequently but you would think He would just roll His eyes. But He doesn't. He'll take a look at each of them and then take the one He wants into His hand long enough for me to put the other ones down.

I did have acrylic nails a couple of times. Just the fingernails. I've never had anyone give me a pedicure. I would probably kick them in the head. I have very ticklish feet.

I liked the acrylic nails for a while. Master said they looked nice but didn't really care for them. Not because of the cost but because He prefers me being natural. Nail polish, a little eyeliner, and a little lipstick is fine. Anything outside of that? Yeah... not so much.

I'm not going to paint my toenails tonight though. I'm feeling extremely lazy. I'll probably paint them this weekend though.

Rough Day

Master and I both had a pretty rough day. His was partially because He only had two hours of sleep and partially because it was a lot of a hurry up and wait circle jerk circus.

I also did not get a whole lot of sleep. I went to bed at my usual time but that doesn't mean I actually slept. It was a lot of tossing and turning. Some of it was staring at the clock and wondering why the hell I wasn't asleep yet.

I finally fell asleep shortly before Master came to bed. So I had been laying there for about 3 1/2 hours without being able to sleep. Getting the car out of the snow was also fun. It stopped snowing at some point last night. But the car needed a lot of scraping off and also took a little longer to warm up. It also sucked that the fuckers who plow the parking lot always decide to dump all of the damn snow right in front of parking spaces whether there is a car there or not.

Sometimes I really can't believe we pay this much in rent and it seems like the landlords become cheaper and cheaper with the vendors they hire. It's especially apparent in the winter when the salting of the sidewalks is mainly left to the tenants and the plows don't come and do the drive way and parking lot until late at night or, sometimes, not at all.

By the time we both got home we both looked like we were going to pass out. After dinner though I'm actually more awake than I thought I would be. I know I still look drained as hell and probably a little pale. But I'm awake. Blah. But awake.

Nothing To See Here

This sucks. I'm down to only blogging once every other day, rather than every day, and  yet tonight I can't think of a fucking thing to write about. I want to keep this blog on track with what it's about. I mean yeah I'll still do posts about other things rather than our dynamic but I'm trying to keep those down to a minimum. There hasn't been anything kinky going on. The dynamic is as it should be.

And even if I did write about something off topic so to speak, I don't have anything to write about either. I could do a "I did this and then I did that" type post but that is just pointless and it wouldn't involve anything interesting anyway.

All I've been doing is going to work, putting overtime in, coming home and relaxing a bit just waiting for the weekend. This week was my half day week so I got out early on Friday. But between yesterday and today there really isn't anything special. I did some present shopping and regular errands type shit but other than that. *shrugs* Aside from presents we picked up a couple of new movies on DVD and have watched them both already.

We only have one good TV show series on Netflix that we haven't finished yet and the rest are movies or TV shows that we have already watched. Otherwise we'd have to go searching for new stuff.

So, like I said, there isn't a damn thing going on that is worth blogging about.

It's not like I'm bored. I've been enjoying the down time. It's just not blog worthy.

1,689

Okay, so a quick explanation on the blog post title. When I logged in to do my post for the night I see what I always see. But for some reason my eyes stopped on the number of posts I've done on this blog.

It is 1,688. Which makes this post number 1,689. Holy shit. And what's funny about that is that when I moved this blog here I could only transfer my blog posts from as far back as 2009. That means that two years worth of blog posts aren't even here. I have no idea how many more posts that would have been. I didn't blog as faithfully back then as Master didn't require it. Right now He has it to where I do a blog post every other night rather than every single day like I usually do.

So let's go through some more statistics here. According to the blog counter there have been 549,747 hits as of right this very second. That is amazing! And that's only since I put the blog counter up. I would say for a good two years I didn't have a blog counter at all. As a result, I have no idea of the real total. But still, that's damn amazing.

The top five places that my "fans" are located as far as the past month goes:

1.  United States of America
2. Russia
3. Germany
4. United Kingdom
5. Canada

I don't know why I find this so fascinating tonight. It's odd how when I first logged on I had no idea what I was going to write about as I am rather brain dead at the moment due to a really long day at work.

But when I see the number of posts I all of a sudden go on a statistics frenzy.

Blogger tracks all of that. Hell, it even shows me what the most popular web browsers are used when viewing my blog. It's not like I know who is looking. It's nothing like that so please don't let that "scare" you off of reading here. It's this way with all blogs on Blogger. It's just general and vague statistics.

I'm so happy that so many people from all over enjoy coming here and do so repeatedly. I'll admit that I get curious about what the most popular posts are from time to time. I tried just adding the direct widget, but I don't like the size of the text on it and I can't figure out how to alter that. I want it to be like my recent posts where it shows the thumbnail and a small snippet of the post. The snippet portion is the one with the text size issue. I may try again at a later time to see if I can fix it. But for now, I removed it.

Good Girl

There is nothing wrong with praise and/or receiving "rewards" from your Master. I have read things along those lines. Blogs that state that if you are a slave you shouldn't expect to receive such things. And some go so far as to say you shouldn't get them at all because you are a slave and there for are too low to even be acknowledged let alone praised. Fuck that noise by the way.

I don't expect anything. If He wants to praise me He will. If He wants to reward my good behavior, that's His idea not mine.  Do I hope sometimes? Well, yeah. Not really on the whole reward thing but with the praise. Sometimes when I do something I really hope I'll get a "good girl" and a nuzzle or maybe He'll pet my hair for a little while. But that's a hope. That's not an expectation. That would mean I got pissed off if it didn't happen. And I don't. I don't even really feel disappointed. It's all up to Him and, after all, I'm only doing things I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm not really doing anything special. I'm supposed to do what I'm told and to follow rules that He has set up. I do my best to adhere to those and not forget them. I honestly think that minus that one hiccup a little while ago when I forgot to ask if I could stay dressed, I've been doing pretty damn well.

I haven't been punished in a long time. I've gotten a very stern reprimand here and there and sometimes a look that cuts right through me. But no punishment.

As far as my rewards go they range. Here is a small list of things that I am rewarded with. I'm leaving the praise out just because that's a completely different thing to me. I know I'm going to forget somethings but here are the ones I can name off of the top of my head.

• An extra long back massage.
• A full body massage front and back, from my neck to my feet.
• Extra long cuddle time.
• Being allowed to cum more frequently while He is fucking me. 
• Brushing my hair. (I can't be the only one that loves having their hair brushed.) 
• Being able to kneel at His feet with my head in His lap while He pets my hair.
• Him jumping in the shower with me to wash me down and wash my hair.

Those are my favorites. Like I said, I know I'm missing some. So please don't think that's all. Because I know it isn't, I just can't think of any other ones right now. Then again I'm half brain dead at the moment. So I'm just really hoping this post makes sense. 

In regards to praise sometimes it's simply verbal and sometimes it's something extra affectionate that He does. Sometimes He'll call me a good girl. (Gotta love the "good girl" praise. It never gets old.) Sometimes He'll just give me a smile and kiss my forehead and then petting my head a little bit before sending me off to go relax or do something else for Him.

There is nothing wrong with such things, in my opinion. Just because I'm a slave doesn't mean I can't be rewarded and praised by my Master.

Loved, Needed, & Wanted

This may sound somewhat stupid. Hell, it may sound extremely stupid. But these past four days I have had off of work have really helped me. They have allowed me to decompress for more than a day and a half and it has also allowed me some extra down time that I really needed. I think it has helped me get back into the dynamic head space that I need to be in. 

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like we've been able to focus on us 100% of the time. Thursday we were at His mom's, Friday we were at my dad's, yesterday we had to ourselves, and today we had to run an errand with His mom. That errand took significantly longer than either of us expected but oh well. It's done.

But I don't always need it to be just the two of us time in order to get back into where I need to be. I felt myself getting it right a little bit more each day. I feel that I took a bigger step yesterday because it was all about us, but it was bit by bit. And today I feel like I should feel.

I'm not saying that I was completely out of sync. I wasn't. I was minding my place, I was being a good girl (for the most part), and I was serving Him as I am supposed to. But I haven't gone this deep into that head space in a long, long time.

It's just that so many other things bleed into one day after another that it's not always easy to just let it all flow off my back like water so I can focus properly. These past four days I have had time to do so. It was bit by bit but it eventually accelerated and here I am now.

I always feel so much more peaceful when I'm in that deep slave space that my mind goes to. I wish I could feel like this all the time. Hell, I wish I could stay home and be a stay at home slave. That's never going to happen mind you. It's not financially feasible just as it isn't for most couples, married or otherwise. And unless we run into a fuck ton of money, it's never going to be feasible. It's just how the world works.

But on nights like tonight, where I know that in a handful of hours I'll have to go to bed in order to go to work in the morning that wish becomes very strong. At least being a slave is easier. Well, not really easier. But at least when I'm doing that I'm in a more peaceful state of mind. I feel like I have purpose. I feel like I'm doing something that matters.

Bringing home a paycheck matters. It really, really does. But the things I do to earn a paycheck feels so bland and gray. My whole work day just seems paled out. Almost as if there isn't any color until I get home from work. And then, even though it's night time, I feel like the color snaps back.

If I were able to just stay home and serve Him the color wouldn't bleed away. I know a lot of it is that one, I don't really feel like what I do at my job matters, two, that I have a shit ton of stress at work, and three that I don't feel appreciated when I'm at work.

With Master I feel appreciated. It doesn't  feel like I don't matter. It doesn't feel like I'm replaceable. With Master I feel loved, cared for, wanted, needed, and protected.

Damn real world and all it's bullshit has to come in and pause it from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday.

At least if it's a day off of work and we have a lot of errands to do, I'm still with Him. As mundane as the errand(s) may be, I'm with Him. And if I'm not I don't have anything sucking the life out of me before I get home to Him.

I'm going to try fucking hard as hell to just keep my mind where it is right now throughout the work week and then maybe, hopefully, I won't feel so washed out come Friday.