Stay In Focus

Today hasn't been as fun filled as the past three days have been. I don't mean that in a bad way at all. The past three days there was a lot of fucking, talking and other things going on. Today has been pretty much just us sitting in the living room. We were supposed to go run a couple of errands today but we both agreed that we didn't really want to go anywhere and that the errands could wait until tomorrow or Tuesday.

So today we have just been taking it easy and being lazy. Like I said, it's not a bad thing. We have reconnected these past three days, in a way that was somewhat overdue. So many things easily take over. Real life gets in the way and takes the forefront because you have to deal with it right then and there.

I mean, we're good. It's not like we needed to work on our marriage or dynamic. I feel that we just needed to reconnect. We needed to touch base on an emotional, mental, and physical level that we just haven't had "time" to do lately.

Which is bullshit. I understand that. We always have time. It's just that we haven't really looked past the day to day bullshit to connect on those deeper levels.

It's weird. I mean we talk constantly, we don't have anything to really work on, and yet when days like those come around it's somewhat of an eye opener.

Yes, you have to deal with the day to day. But that doesn't mean you can't take a moment each day to just focus completely on one another without the other shit seeping in. Easier said than done. And yes, the dynamic is part of that focus. Master and I discussed such yesterday.

And the conversation came about so naturally. It was almost as if we didn't realize that it was something that needed to be said until the words were passing our lips.

One of the points Master brought up is that I need to let Him know my needs more. I have apparently started to slip backwards on that. I'm a lot better at it than I use to be. Hell, if you hold it up to how I use to be it's night and day. But He feels that I need to keep that in mind more and be more vocal about my needs and desires.

One of the points I brought up is that after anal I need aftercare but I know that we both have to get cleaned up immediately after. However, I told Him that I would still like some once we are clean. I don't need a lot. Holding me close or petting my hair. Something like that. I'm not a big after care person. Usually that's all I need.

A good example are the times where I've broken down and cried after sex due to severe sub drop. He will have my lay on my stomach and He'll cover my back with his chest and hold my wrist. To me, that's not a lot to need as far as aftercare goes. I've heard of some pretty elaborate needs for aftercare. So, my needing that kind of strong physical comfort is pretty minor in comparison. But that doesn't mean it isn't important or isn't needed.

Master told me that I should have brought that up a lot sooner and I know this. He wasn't mad or anything. Nothing along those lines. He just pointed out that is the kind of thing that He was talking about when He mentioned that I need to vocalize more to Him. Which is very true.