He didn't suddenly shove His cock up my ass, thankfully, although I'm sure He thought about it for a minute. He instead starting massaging my asshole with His thumb as I was on all fours and He was slowly fucking me. He then slowly pushed His thumb in. It burned a little bit at first and I think He noticed my slight discomfort. He pulled His thumb out and put some lube on it. The great thing about the new lube having a pump like a soap bottle? You don't have to actually grab the bottle itself. It's a lot more handy.
He then massaged my asshole for a little longer before slowly putting His thumb back into my ass. It still hurt a little bit but it was a lot more comfortable after the initial insertion. I didn't feel the immediate need to start playing with my clit in order to be able to "bare" the pain. Not that playing with my clit during sex is a bad thing, I just think that if I have to do it in order to get past a certain pain, not the fun pain, then it's not a good a sign.
He kept His thumb up my ass and sort of used that to push me back and forth so I would bounce off His cock. He praised me the entire time about how well I was handling it.
I know a lot of you are probably thinking to yourself, yeah.. you had a thumb up your ass.. so what? Why is He praising that?
Every little thing that involves anal play, Master praises me during it. It's like positive reinforcement basically. Again, I know that sounds dumb but I really do need it. I've gotten myself so worked up about it that I need the praise in order to relax and be able to accept it more easily.
Once we were done I laid down on my stomach and kind of hid my face in the crook of my arm. I wasn't in pain, I wasn't crying or anything I just got very, very docile and that felt like a submissive position to me in that moment.
Master laid His chest across my back, rested His head by mine and held my wrist. That is the best aftercare I could ever get. I need Him to basically surround me and apply pressure with His body. I needed the aftercare not due to the anal playing, as small as it may seem, but because I had reached a very deep level of sub space and He does that for me so I don't have sub drop afterward.
We went into the living room and Master at some point asked me if I was working on the anal training to shut Him up or if it was because I was actually interested. I was honest and told Him it was a little bit of both. It came out wrong though. I explained at length and He understood.
It wasn't really to shut Him up, I want to work on it because I know how much He enjoys it and I want to be able to do that to please Him. On the other hand, I also want to get to the point that I can enjoy it more as well. I want to enjoy it with Him.
Trust me, as sadistic as He can be, He does want me to enjoy it too. He doesn't just want to fuck my ass and get His rocks off. I mean yes that's part of it but He honestly wants me to enjoy it too. He has even told me that He doesn't want to do it if I'm not going to get anything out of it.
That made me do a double take. Not that I don't think He wants to make me feel good and enjoy it as much as He does, it was the "I don't want to if" part. Like I said He is a sadistic man but I am a masochist as well, so even when He's hurting me He knows I'm enjoying. Hell, He has commented on how wet I get afterward regardless of how much I cried and tried to pull away. My body responds to His sadistic needs. But this is one area He doesn't really want to be sadistic. He wants me to enjoy it fully and not have to be in pain for it to happen.
No comments:
Post a Comment