My Focal Point

I was having an iffy day. First, I woke up sad. I don't know why. I think I may have had a bad dream or something. Of course, nine times out of ten I don't remember my nightmares/bad dreams. Hell, I don't remember most of my dreams. I just wake up knowing that I've had one. This morning when I woke up I knew that I had dreamed about something, I just didn't know what. And when I realized that I felt sad I figured it was a bad dream.

I included that in my morning note to Master. I didn't want to wait until I got home to talk about it. He wants constant updates to make sure He knows exactly where I'm at mentally/emotionally. He's been like that since we found I'm bipolar. It's not a bad thing at all. I understand the concern and Him wanting to know so He knows how best to help me, should I need help. I also know it's so He can compare little mental notes He makes.

The feeling of sadness lifted on the way to work. But I was still a little up and down through out the day. I never felt depressed. But I would swing back and forth between feeling fine and then feeling a little down. I wondered if it had anything to do with my period hitting soon. But then I realized that's a little ways off still. So it must just be something that is happening for no apparent reason. It's not like I need a reason to feel off. It just happens sometimes.

I sent Master little text messages through out the day to keep Him updated. I had a couple of stops to make after work. I just couldn't wait until I got home. I just wanted to be near Him. And of course as soon as I was able to relax into the normal nightly routine I started feeling much better.

Master had kept me laughing and we've been joking around just to be silly. Maybe that's all I needed. A little bit of silliness. All work and no play makes Kitten a dull girl after all.

We watched Dexter while we goofed off. Now I'm doing my blog post and listening to songs on Your Tube while wearing my ear buds. I have this damn Rob Zombie song stuck in my head. And it's not really one of his that I love. It's mainly the beat. Isn't it always? And of course to purge it I have to listen to it. And now I'm listening to it for the second time just to make sure. Sometimes just listening to it once doesn't fully get it out, so then I figure listening to it more than once back to back is more likely to be successful. You know, follow the pattern of it looping around in my head.

Anyway, the point is that normally to feel better, since I'm properly medicated, all I need is some good down time silliness with my loving Husband. He is my rock. He is my focal point. And it works. And I love Him for it.