I remember when I was a little girl I thought it would be awesome to have a diary. I wonder if every little girl goes through that. Never mind you don't really have a lot to write about at 9 years old, but that didn't stop me from wanting one. And I got one for my birthday. I think it was more just wanting to have something that I could put my oh so important little girl thoughts in, rather than actually sitting down and writing in it. I don't remember writing in it very much at all. It was a simple little hard cover diary that was smaller than a pocket sized soft cover book. It didn't have a lock or anything. I did write in it, kind of. I did more doodling than actual writing. As I got a little older, probably closer to 12 years old I wanted one that locked. Because my little brother had opened the one I had without a lock! How dare he look at my doodling.
So I got one of those. It was another hard cover diary. It was white with flowers all over it. It had this little clasp on it where you would put this tiny as hell key in it to unlock it. It didn't really do anything. I mean, you could easily pry the damn thing open.
After a while I decided I was too old for a diary. I didn't keep one during my teen years. Which is kind of weird. All of my teen friends had one. I no longer felt the need to have one. After all, I had only ever doodled in the ones I had in the past. Why bother?
Then I met Master. About 6 months into our relationship He wanted me to start keeping a diary. We saw each other twice a week and He would read it when He came down to visit. It all started with how I was feeling, what I was thinking, etc. about our dynamic. It was in it's baby stage back then. It took a long time to get it where it is now.
I kept those hand written diaries for a long, long time. I wrote in a hard cover diary for four years. Of course, it didn't take long for them to fill up. So I would store that one away and get a new one. And so on and so forth.
It was very shortly after we got married that Master allowed me to keep a blog rather than writing in a hand written diary. Well, I take that back. For a few months He had me do both. I don't remember why. He had a valid reason though. I just can't remember what the fuck it was.
Eventually it just became the blog itself and the hand written diary stopped all together. After all, it's a hell of a lot easier and quicker to type than it is to write things out by hand. The odd thing is that I still have every single hand written diary I wrote while we were together before the blogging started. Four years worth of diaries. They are just chilling in our bedroom closet. I haven't gone back and read them in a long time. I never really felt the need to.
Every now and then we'll talk about how I should just get rid of them. Toss them out. It hasn't happened yet. It might when we move. I have no idea.
My blog though.. holy hell has it gone through some changes. It started on Blogger and I coded the whole thing myself. I thought it was the shit at the time. But I remember how it looked and I shudder at the memory of it. It was horrible. But hey, I was just starting out.
Then I heard all these whispers about Word Press. So I jumped ship. I was there for quite some time. I did different themes and templates. It went through more face lifts than I can even remember. I even paid them to allow me to change it up to the way I wanted. You couldn't just upload a theme and tweak it for free. I thought it was worth it at the time though.
Suddenly their rules changed and they were not to my liking at all. I can't put my finger on exactly which rules they were but they did directly effect my blog. I was pissed because I had been paying them to basically upgrade my otherwise free blog and now I had to deal with their bullshit rules? Fuck you very much!
So back to Blogger! And here it is. I don't really know how long it has been back here on Blogger but it feels like a long time. Again, it has gone through facelifts. I couldn't settle on a template to save my life for the longest time.
Eventually I settled on the one I have now. It's the same template but it was blue for a long time. All of a sudden I felt the need to change it up again. But I couldn't find a theme that I loved as much as I do this one. So, a tiny facelift rather than an overhaul. I just took the blue and made it purple. And now that it's purple I actually like it more. Funny how just changing the color of links can make you happy.
Hopefully I can keep the nerd in me quiet for a long time now. I love how it looks. And I'm going to keep it that way for as long as I can. Hell, maybe this is how it will look from now on. Who knows. (Yes, I know I've said that before. But this purple is really, really grooving with me. More than I thought it would actually.)
Do I think I'll ever stop blogging? Well, not unless Master tells me to stop. It's not my choice, it's His. I know that I have to get back to topic. The blog is supposed to be a slave blog and yet, lately, I've been posting about everything but slave like things.
Note to self: Start blogging about what this damn blog is supposed to be about! Ya dumb bitch.
So... I make a promise to post about slave like things. Other topics may come now and again but I seriously need to get back in touch with that mind set. I think it will help relieve some of the stress I've had. Or at the very least help me get my focus off of the stress and onto something else for a while. Even if it is only for as long as it takes me to type out a blog post.
There you have it. The evolution of my diaries.
No comments:
Post a Comment