Love & Passion

For as long as I can remember, since I started liking boys, I've always had an idea of what kind of guy I wanted to be with. I decided what my "type" was basically. And I had decided a few things. I wanted someone older than me. I've always found people my own age to be annoying as hell. More so when I was a teenager. But I also knew that I didn't want to go past a 10 year age gap. I still wanted the ability to enjoy the same things, such as music and movies. Those are only a couple of examples. I felt as if I went past that 10 year age gap that possibility would get smaller and smaller. I also wanted someone tall. I wanted someone with ink. I wanted someone funny. I wanted a bad boy that treated me right. I know that sounds cliche but that's how I honestly felt. I wanted someone who could protect me even though I can take care of myself. I wanted someone who accept me for me because I know I'm a bit morbid and quirky. Quirky probably doesn't even come close to it, but that's the only word I can think of right now. I'm odd.

I basically wanted a bad ass mother fucker that I could connect with on all levels across the board and  fall deeply in love with.

I never had that in any of my previous relationships. Then again when I met Master I was only 20 years old. So literally every single relationship prior to that was teenager bullshit. And I was also mistreated in past relationships. So I also had self esteem and self image issues. It took me a while to get over those. I was actually just surprised, in the beginning, that Master wanted me. Like I said, self image issues. He is so handsome and exactly what I've always wanted. And there He is, right in front of me, and He wanted me.

The love came later. It started as a one night stand. And then it continued. But we also had a lot of fun together in and out of the bedroom. The connection didn't take long to form and love came rather quickly.

I honestly never thought about the dynamic issue. When I decided on my type I never thought about the dynamic part. After all I was really young. I was still figuring out things. But the rest of it I was sure of.

And now that is exactly what I have. I have a tall, handsome, very funny, bad boy that treats me well. We have an 8 year age gap. And He has ink. We both had ink when we first met. Ink is a turn on for me. The dynamic is just a bonus.

I never knew that a connection so deep could ever exist. I didn't think that people who were together as long as we have been would still be so in love and still very passionate about each other. And here we are 10 years into our relationship and 6 years into our marriage. And that is exactly what is going on. Our connection and love are still very much going strong. We are still very passionate about one another.

Our relationship isn't perfect. We both have flaws. We both have annoying little things that we do. But none of that matters. Relationships can't be perfect and neither can people. Perfection is fake. I don't want to be fake, I don't want Him to be fake, and I don't want our relationship to be fake. I was it all to be real. And it is.