My Wednesday

Today started off as any other work day has gone lately. I woke up before my alarm for some fucked up reason. I seem to be doing that a lot. Then the work day went how it did. Busy as fuck and just not enough time to get stuff done. And since there is an overtime restriction there isn't much I could do about it. The end of the work day really sucked though.

I think I scratched my eye. Like, the eye itself. It burns like a mother fucker and when I first realized it, it hurt to even look at the monitor, which is not a good thing since I stare at one for 8+ hours a day. Thankfully it was towards the end of the work day and I just kept going and wiping my eye every now and then because it was watering so badly.

It's not as bad now. Not anywhere near as bad.

After I dropped off the passenger in the carpool I came home and parked in front of our apartment complex and called Master. He came out and I drove us down to the game store. We still had in-store credit left from the trade in we did and it was enough to get two more games! They are older titles of course, but hey. Whatever.

When we got back home I got a hold of my dad. We'll be going down to visit him on Friday. He leaves on Saturday to go pick up his car. I guess he won't be back until Monday. I can't wait to see it.

Once I got off the phone Master and I decided to just go outside and chill on our porch. It's finally nice enough to do that, so we might as well take advantage of it. We sat out for about an hour and a half and now I'm knocking out my post and then taking my shower so I can just relax the rest of the night. Master told me that He will work on my back after the animals are taken care of for the night. I can't wait! Damn fibromyalgia.

Touch Base

I was having a very rough day today at work. It was getting to the point that I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I don't mean just by my work load, I mean as in my mood. I'm not sure why. It may be in part due to the fact that I'm on my period and the other part is just because of how work has been going lately. Either way it was about 2:30pm when it hit me.

I knew that if I could talk to Master for a few moments I would feel better.

So I called Him. Thankfully He answered the phone and we talked for a few moments. It wasn't that I was spinning out of control or anything. I just needed to touch base and breathe for a moment. The best way for me to do that is to hear Master's voice. It's like touching base. He centers me. Even if it's just a quick phone call.

We talked for about six or seven minutes and then I had to get back to my never ending work load. But really, that's all I needed. I felt better the minute I hung up the phone. The rest of the work day seemed a bit easier. Yes, it was only two more hours but still.

When I got home from work Master gave me a big hug, which made me feel even better. My hands have been bothering me though. I have the ability to type up to 70wpm and that has been put to the test quite a bit lately. But when I do that almost non-stop for 8+ hours a day it starts to hurt. My wrist, my knuckles, my finger tips. I think my fibromyalgia plays into that a little bit, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

They feel a little better now.

Game On! - Revisited

Master and I had bought a video game called Injustice about two weeks ago. Somewhere around there anyway. We were both really excited about it because we both like to play fighters and talk trash while we do so. And there it was. A fighter game having based on DC comic book characters. I couldn't wait to play Catwoman. So we went out and bought it at full price, which we almost never do. We are more likely to wait for it to go down in price, but we decided fuck it let's go for it.

That, apparently, was a bad idea. It had already gotten to the point where I didn't want to play anymore. The difficulty levels are completely out of whack. Easy is too easy and normal is like hard mode. What the shit? And so many of the characters were cheap as hell. Needless to say we were highly disappointed.

So today, we were hemming and hawing over what to do about it. Eventually we decided we should just go ahead and trade the damn thing in. No use in having it in the apartment if we're not going to play it, ya know?

We were surprised at how little we got in trade in though. It was a $60 game and two weeks later we only got $25 in trade in. *sigh* So we browse a bit and we found two games we wanted. One is Soul Calibur 5, which we both play and are good at. And we can create our own characters which is awesome. The only one I don't play but I love watching Master play it so that's cool too. And we still had store credit left over, almost $10 work actually. So they put that on a gift card for us and out the door we went.

Now Master is installing the games on His hard drive and we plan on dicking around with the fighter later on tonight. I hope He lets me stay up so we can nerd out to it. I missed playing Soul Calibur games. And the fifth one is pretty cool.

Don't Move

Master and I got kind of frisky last night. But we were also rather chill about it. We had both been hinting at fucking for a good couple of hours. Well, while we were watching an episode of a show we've been watching I just looked over at Him and said, "So, after this episode you want to go fuck?"

*laughs* Yeah, nice seduction method right? But that's one of the great things about being together for so long. You don't have to worry about trying to seduce one another. I mean, it's nice sometimes... But if you just feel like fucking you can just cut past all that shit and say, "Do you wanna go fool around?"

Master had me put on lingerie after my shower, but once we got back to the bedroom He told me to take it off. Normally He'll have me keep my lingerie on while we fuck but this particular item just kind of gets in the way. He loves it though.

The sex was amazing. Master was talking dirty to me and eventually just used me as His sex toy. Is it just me, or is just being used more of a turn on than being able to orgasm sometimes? For me it can be. I love being allowed to get off, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's hotter to me to be used. I think it's a mental thing. He doesn't care whether or not I'm close to orgasm. I had damn well better make sure I don't.

And yet, I'm not allowed to move. So I can't even shift my weight or slightly change the angle He's hitting me at. Sometimes that can help hold it off more. But since He doesn't allow me to move unless He grabs my limb and forces me to move it or He simply tells me to. And I had better do it exactly when He tells me to and then hold still once again.

Afterwards we cuddled a little bit before going back to the living room for a couple of hours. It was about 3:30am when we finally went to bed to get some sleep. Now, it's Sunday and I can't stay up that late again, as much as I want to.

Fuck All

I pretty much did fuck all today. It was my day to take the dog outside all day, but aside from that I only left the apartment in order to go pick up my anti-crazy pills prescription. Master has allowed me to pretty much just laze about. We've been watching Netflix all day. A couple of TV shows here, a movie or two there...We also exchanged back rubs, which was nice.

This morning I got up when the dog woke me at 7:30am. I stayed up for about an hour and a half before deciding, fuck it, I'm going to try and get some more sleep. Master was still asleep. Weekends are the days where if we have no where to be, we sleep in rather late.We don't get a lot of sleep during the work week. I didn't wake back up until almost noon. I wasn't expecting to sleep that late. I thought I would doze off for about an hour and then get up. I guess my body had other plans. Master woke up about the same time I did. I guess He was just as tired as I was.

I really love sleeping in but sleeping the whole day away kind of sucks. Not so much on Saturdays, because I can stay up as late as I want to. But on Sundays it is nice because I don't have to get up to an alarm or anything along those lines, but then it's like I have no time left to enjoy before I have to turn around and go back to bed so I can go to work the next day.

Ugh.

I honestly have no idea why the hell I'm rambling on and on about sleep. Probably because I have no idea what to post about and sleep has been on my mind all week since I've been getting so little of it.

Foggy

I didn't sleep for shit last night. Even though this work week has been especially rough on me and I've been passing out on the couch all week, for some reason last night I simply was not tired.

Well, I can't really say that. I was worn out. I was physically tired. But mentally for whatever reason I was wide awake. My brain didn't want to shut down and yet there was nothing spinning around in there. Normally when my mind won't shut down it's because I have thoughts, worries, stresses, etc. stuck on loop inside my head. That wasn't the case last night. It was just not wanting to fucking shut down and allow me to sleep. I don't think I actually fell asleep until almost 2am and even then it was more of that in and out of sleep feeling. I wouldn't fully drift off, but I wasn't fully awake either.

Regardless of the fact that I didn't get much sleep at all, I woke up full before my damn alarm even went off. As a result, I have been really foggy all day. I was fine to drive, obviously, and I did my job without a problem. But in general I just feel foggy headed and spaced the hell out. It's almost as if I can't fully concentrate unless it was on work. If I know I have a task that I must complete I can be very focused when I'm like this, but if I have nothing that I absolutely have to do I can't focus at all.

But at least this night has been, for the most part, relaxing. Master and I are enjoying one of my favorite shows on Netflix and I know I don't have to do a damn thing tomorrow, which makes me happy. After a week like this I need to have a day of nothing at all.

Well, nothing outside of taking the dog outside. I'm greatly looking forward to the down time with Master. I could use some cuddling.

My Best

I know that I am not the most personable individual in the world. In fact, nine times out of ten I just still to myself in a social situation. The only two exceptions to that are when it's a group of my family (in-laws included of course.. they are my family) or if I am somewhere with Master or a family member. I've always been like that. When I was going to school (elementary, jr. high, etc.) I had a clique of friends but that was it. I stuck with that small group of people.

But because of how I am, I take my family very seriously. I try to be the best relative I can be basically. If you are one of my close family members, I'll basically do anything I possibly can for you. The only people on my side of the family that I would put in that "close" family member list would be my father, my mother, my brother and my grandfather. Everyone else? That's pretty much when it's a case by case basis. With Master's family I take His queue. How I would normally react in a situation may not be how it works in His family. Everyone's family is different, and the last thing I want to do is step over the line without meaning to.

As far as Master goes, I think that's rather obvious. I would do anything for Him. I try to be the best wife I possibly can be. I may not always pull it off, but that's what I try to do.

I try to be the best wife, best daughter, and best sister. I'll go out of my way to help any of the people listed above. It's just how I am.

A good example happened tonight actually. My dad called trying to figure out something with his account so he can get together the money for the car he'll be going to pick up soon. He doesn't have a computer so he was calling me asking me for phone numbers and then calling me back to ask a question or two. He did apologize about all the phone calls. It was slightly irritating at first, but I know that this is very important to him and so I wanted to do anything I could to help him out. Thankfully we figured it all out and he was really happy and grateful.

It's kind of funny though because my brother lives 15 minutes from him, while I am 45 minutes away. He always calls me if he needs something. It's not that my brother wouldn't help him or anything. My brother would help in a heart beat. But my dad comes to me first. I don't know if it's because I'm the older one or what.. maybe because I'm more patient? Maybe I just explain things better. I have no idea. But it makes me smile in an odd way. It shows that my family trusts me and feel that they can come to me with anything.