Foot In The Door

It seems that this whole not freaking out at work thing is working. I've been calm at work and still knocking it out just fine. In fact, I'm more caught up than I thought I would be.

On my lunch break I called that head hunter as I hadn't heard from him since his last e-mail last Wednesday. I waited because I didn't want to seem pushy. I was fully expecting to get his voice mail. Surprisingly he answered. I told him that I was just following up. And it was a good thing I did. He hadn't submitted my resume to that job he told me about because he had thought the interviews were over shortly after he had spoken to me. He just found out that interviews are actually being held late this week and early next week. So he said he would go ahead and submit my resume to them today.

This is the first head hunter I've ever dealt with, so I have no idea how this works. One thing I know for sure is that it's completely up to the company in question as to whether or not I get an interview. I figure if I don't hear anything by next week Wednesday then the company isn't interested in me.

Master says I should probably still reach out to the head hunter to see if they have anything else available. I just don't want to seem pushy or anything like that. Like I said, I've never dealt with this before. Hell, I've only dealt with a temp company once and that was to get my foot in the door at the place that eventually hired me after my 90 days with the temp place. Other than that it's always been me applying directly and it goes from there.

So I figure I'll keep tossing my resume out there and see what happens. I'm not going to totally rely on the head hunter, obviously.

Honestly I haven't been doing that very much lately. I don't think I've tossed my resume out in about two weeks. I need to get back at that. Maybe I'll do that tonight. I'll take a peek at the job websites and see what's out there. Hopefully I'll come across something that I can apply for.

If I get an interview for the job the head hunter is applying me for, great! If not, I'm not going to cry over it. I really do want the job, don't get me wrong. Why? Well, I know I can do it and I know the pay is really damn good. Significantly more than I'm currently making. Yeah, it'll suck and I'll be slightly bummed if nothing comes of it but what are you gonna do?

Nothing but keep trying to get my foot in the door somewhere.

My job doesn't suck or anything. Although at this point I do feel a bit underpaid simply because of how much the job has changed. It's a hell of a lot more difficult than it was even six months ago. But ya know, you don't get paid more just because the job gets more difficult. You go in, you do your job and you collect your paycheck and shut up.

Don't Freak Out

Not a lot going on. I'm still busy as hell at work. Nothing new there. I walked into work this morning and I saw the work that was waiting for me. I kind of surprised myself in regards to my reaction. Last week and the week before that and so on I would stress myself the hell out. I wouldn't know where to begin and I'd just be so worn out mentally by the time I got home that I was basically a bump on a log. No fun for Master and no fun for me. When I'm at home I'd rather be able to carry a conversation or at the very least joke around.

But today as I started at my computer and the paperwork on my desk I decided that I wasn't going to freak out about it anymore.

It's not that I won't still bust my tail. Trust me I did plenty of that today. But I just decided that I wasn't going to freak out about it or let it stress me to the point that I basically want to do nothing but sleep once I'm home.

Plus freaking out doesn't make me any more productive. I'm just as productive, if not more so, when I just keep myself calm and take it as it comes. I actually think I was able to get more work done today because of it. I didn't feel overwhelmed even though there was so much to do. I just calmly did my work. I felt more focused that way as well.

I think the great sex last night helped though. I was in a great mood last night when I went to bed and I woke up in a good mood. I was tired as hell because I didn't sleep well, but I was still in a good mood.

As the work day went by I did start to feel a little tense mentally. But then I took a deep breath and felt better because of it.

Hopefully I can keep this outlook on my work. I'm not giving up, I'm not just saying fuck it. I'm just not freaking out about it. I have a tendency of doing that. If things are busy at work I tend to just get worried about getting it all done and what if I don't and how bad is it going to be tomorrow, etc and so on. But I was pleased with how much I got done and the fact that I kept calm the entire day. Like I said though, hopefully I can keep doing that.

Weekend For Family

Yesterday Master and I went out to lunch with His father and two youngest sisters. We went up by them since they normally come down to us. We still met at a restaurant and just sat and talked while we ate. His two youngest sisters are 14 and 10. Apparently His dad decided he just really liked making children... He has five. Master is the oldest.

When we first met His two youngest sisters they were both a little shy. Master and His father had a falling out a long time ago. And they started talking again about three years ago. At that time Master didn't even know He had these two other siblings. So it was something everyone had to get used to. But yesterday while Master was talking with His dad His two little sisters showed me that they are really warming up to me. They told me what they are going to be doing over the summer and what their interests are. The 14 year old is going to state for her choir competitions. The 10 year old is doing great in her soccer tournaments. They are both very intelligent and very active kids. But wow. Someone put a quarter in both those girls. *smiles* I barely got a word in but it made me smile that they felt that comfortable with me. Especially the 14 year old. She's really a shy kid. I know she does all these competitions, etc. but one on one she is a really shy girl.

It was a great time and everyone enjoyed themselves.

Today I went down to visit my mother and brother. Master was going to come with as well but when He got up this morning He wasn't feeling well at all. So I went by myself.

We talked and had a good time. My mom wanted to run to the store. But now that she has a car again she wanted to take her car rather than me driving. So I got to ride in her car for the first time. It's a really nice car. It's huge. Well, actually it's a mid-size car. But when you're used to a PT Cruiser, when you get in a mid-size car you feel like you're in a boat of a car.

She seemed really proud of it. She had gone without a car for two years because her last one died and she couldn't afford to replace it at the time. She had been relying on my brother and his car during that time since he lives there. She saved up the past two years and bought her current car and she absolutely loves it. It made me smile. Mom shared some distant family drama about one of my first cousins. That particular cousin is a bitch and a drama queen to boot. So mom shared that info and we both griped about her for a little bit.

When I left there I went to the pet store. Our dog needed a new leash. Now that he is larger than he was when we bought his leash about a year ago we decided it would probably be a good idea to get a new one. I wanted something really durable. The problem was that when I got to the pet store I couldn't really find anything that wasn't a tie out that had the weight limit on it. So I started to get a little discouraged. I kept looking though. Finally I found a regular 6ft leash that had a weight posted on it. It said for dogs up to 90lbs. Well, our dog is probably between 75 to 80lbs so it was perfect. I bought that, some rabbit litter and some treats for the dog.

The leash had a price tag of $25 on it. It was more than I though I was going to spend on a leash but since it had a weight listed on it and I felt safer with that I didn't mind paying a little extra. The cool thing was that when I got up to the counter I found out that all three things were on sale due to the store perks card! Yay!

The rabbit litter was $23 and rang up as $20. The dog treats were $8 and rang up as $5. The leash was marked as $25 and rang up as $10! Rock on!

When I took the pup out this afternoon I did notice that the leash felt stronger. I don't really know how to describe it. It just felt different, in a good way.

Tomorrow I don't know if we're going to run errands or not. But Master did say we might go to Dunkin Doughnuts to get coffee and a doughnut for like a brunch type thing. That will be nice.

500,000

Well, I've been blogging for about five years now. Some where around there. I know that I started either right before or right after we got married. I know that the dates on the blog don't add up but that's because when I moved the blog the file size was too large to transfer it all. So I had to cut some of it off. I decided cutting off the older stuff was smarter, obviously. It sucks that I was only able to transfer from 2009 forward though. Oh well, I'm glad I moved the blog.

Well, yesterday, at some point, my blog counter (which is carried over from my original blog site) hit 500,000 visitors! Half a million! That's so fucking awesome! I know some of you have been reading me for a very, very long time. And I appreciate that you keep coming back. I really do. I'm glad that you enjoy reading about my weird life and crazy ramblings. *grins*

I also know that some of you are newer to reading my blog. And I appreciate you all stopping by as well!

There is a change coming though. It's not bad. It's not horrible or anything like that.

Master and I have been talking. My asking to be able to skip posts has been rising lately. Partly due to me being worn out and partly due to the fact that I don't know what to write about. But since the rule was that I had to post every night I did my best to do so. As a result, some of my posts were really fucking short because I just couldn't think of anything.

So, Master has authorized me to post every other day rather than every single day. So I'm not going anywhere, I just won't be posting every day. I'll be posting every other day. Now, of course, if I have something to say or I just feel like blogging I can do as many posts as I want. It's not like I'm restricted to just posting every other day. It's just I have the option of only posting every other day. But whether I post every day or not, I still hope you guys will continue to come by and visit.

Trying Not To Get My Hopes Up

I am currently trying not to get my hopes up. Why? Well, it started this afternoon when Master called me. I had just gotten off my lunch break. He started off by saying that He was hoping to catch me before my lunch break. Well, I took my lunch at 11:30am and He called at noon. So, that part didn't work out that well. When He said that though it sparked my curiosity. It turns out that there was a voice mail on the home phone when He got back from running some errands. A head hunter agency (not a temp agency) had called to speak with me regarding a job opening one of their clients have. And it's a very, very well known head hunting company in this area.

That was the reason He wanted to catch me before I went on lunch. He was hoping I could use my lunch break to call this person back as the voice mail had hinted that it was a damn good job.

So the fact that I had already taken a lunch sucked. I don't get 15 minute breaks. So, I thought about it for a moment and then decided to call him on my work phone. I was really nervous about doing it but I wanted to hop on this as soon as possible in case it leads somewhere. Plus, I figured if anyone heard me I would just say that I'm looking for a second job.

I didn't get him on the first call though. I left him a voice mail and then waited about an hour and called again. Thankfully the second time I was able to get a hold of him. I was grateful that he understood the fact that I am at my job, on their phone. So he understood why I couldn't go into great detail with my answers at that time. But the job he described sounded wonderful.

He told me that he would send me an e-mail (my personal e-mail) with a further description of the job and asked that I get back to him as soon as possible to let him know if I was interested or not. It was the "as soon as possible" part that made me even more interested.

Since this was a little after 1pm I figured that the e-mail would be there when I got home. When it wasn't I worried that maybe he had copied it off my resume incorrectly. I didn't want to seem pushy but I decided to call him anyway.

He was actually glad that I had called him. He hadn't sent the e-mail just yet, as he was literally in the process of doing so when I called him. I apologized for that and he said that he was glad that I called as I could now speak more freely.

He seemed incredibly pleased with my answers and said he would send the e-mail as soon as I got off the phone with him and asked me to please respond as soon as possible. He stressed that their client actually prefers obtaining people from my current employer due to experience, etc. My current employer is also extremely well known in it's category.

So, I got the e-mail and the job sounds great! The pay? Yeah, more than I'm making now. And the drive is only 11 miles from our home rather than the 25.9 miles that my current job is. So I responded to the e-mail to let him know that I'm interested.

I'm excited about it, I won't lie. But I am keeping in mind that this isn't even an interview yet. He has to present my information to their client and then it's up to the client from there. But like I said, I'm excited. Being excited and not getting my hopes up is difficult. But I don't want to set myself up for disappointment anymore than I have to. Ya know? Regardless, at this point I'm feeling confident. After all, they came to me. I hadn't even applied with their head hunting company. They had come across my resume on one of the job posting websites and decided to contact me. To me, that's already a step in the right direction. So, I'm going to hope while trying to keep myself in check at the same time. I have a feeling this is going to drive me nuts until I know for sure.

Spread Out

The past four days I have felt really spread out. I don't feel all here and haven't since Thursday night. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Master commented on it though. He says even on the really rough days I feel all here and centered. I think that has to do with the fact that I've had to be that way just to get through the work day and I have a hard time letting that go once I get home. But the past four days I've just been mellow as hell and sleeping a lot. I'm not on a downward spiral or anything. I'm just catching my breath. I think this is my way of recharging myself right now.

It does suck that I've been sleeping so much though. Don't get me wrong Master and I have had a lot of time together. But because I've been so spread out and tired we haven't had sex really. He used me once by waking me up before He went to sleep and that's it. Like I said I've just felt really spacey and then when I crash I crash hard.

Today Master's back isn't the greatest but maybe in a little while we can correct the fact that we've only had sex once in four days.

Then again we haven't been having a lot of sex in general because I've been so wiped out and sore due to work. This isn't like us at all. Normally we have sex quite often. So this month or so with not a lot of sex going on is really, really odd. Thankfully it isn't affecting us outside of the bedroom. Neither are of us are blaming it on the other. We both know why. It's because my job is kicking my ass and I've been spread so thin for so long that my body isn't catching up very well at all.

I know for sure that tomorrow is going to suck. Hell it's probably going to really suck for quite some time yet. But I need to find a way of allowing myself to relax enough so I don't feel the need to just crash and burn every night and miss out on things I enjoy doing with Master, such as fucking.

I know He's not mad at me and I know He understands, so at least that much.

Neighbors

Not a lot has been going on this weekend. It's mainly random stuff that we just feel like doing at the moment. Today we decided to go sit on the porch with the dog again for a while.

When we were out there Master went to check the mail and as He was walking back one of our neighbors started talking to him as he is constantly seeing our dog and saying how handsome he is. Well he introduced himself, his wife, and some other people. I stayed on the porch with the dog. Even though he is tethered to a metal post I don't like leaving him unattended. Granted Master could look over the bushes and see us but I'm still not comfortable with it.

Master and I don't really go out of our way to get to know our neighbors. We're friendly. We say hi and things of that nature but we don't introduce ourselves or invite people over or anything like that.

Well, while Master was talking with this guy, Mike, he told Master that he sees us all the time and would like it if we came over for a barbeque or some beer or just sit around their fire pit for a while and talk. I've never been one to really want to mingle with neighbors. It's not anything against them, it's just I've never really gone out of my way to do it. In fact, I never go out of my way to mingle.

But since this guy offered and his wife agreed that they would love to have us over, there is no harm in going over every now and then to see if we would enjoy it. He said that he would stop by and let us know in advance when that sort of thing is going to happen so we can decide whether or not we want to go over. They are literally kiddy corner from our apartment.

I hear them all the time sitting out there with their little fire going and talking. They don't get obnoxious or anything like that. They honestly seem like really nice people.

So like I said, it may be interesting to just go over at least once. The only thing I've always been wary about in such situations is that lets say we do go over there and then decide we don't really want to do it again and say, "Um, yeah... we didn't have a good time sorry." It just seems rude to me. And then you still see them every day. Maybe that's why I don't mingle with neighbors regularly. But since they seem so nice maybe it'll just be an occasional thing that we do. I don't think they'd be offended if we said no thank you ever now and then.

I may seem like a bitch and Master may seem like an asshole but we can be very polite people, believe it or not. *laughs* 

The other thing is that these particular neighbors have other neighbors over all the time. In fact we are one of the few tenants in this apartment complex that don't get together with other neighbors. We've always pretty much kept to ourselves.

I'm actually hoping that when we do go over there we have a good time. It'll give us an excuse to get out of the apartment without having to go far at all. Yes, we'd be 30 seconds from our apartment but it's still getting out of the apartment and going to talk to other people for a while. Aside from our families we only really have two friends. One lives in Florida now and we don't hear from him a lot. The other lives about 25 minutes away but he's always wrapped up in his own stuff and is currently planning his wedding. That is the wedding Master will be one of the best men in. I have a feeling we won't hear from him too much until it gets a lot closer. The wedding is in November, so we have a ways to go yet on that one.

Who knows, maybe hanging out with these neighbors will turn out to be fun and a good thing. They are about 15 to 20 years older than us, but that doesn't mean we couldn't have a good time. And I also don't think we'd have a hard time striking up a conversation based on that age gap. They actually seem rather happy go lucky. Although I hope they don't get offended if I turn down the beer. I've never liked beer for one and the other thing is that I can't really drink a lot of alcohol with the meds I'm on. I've always been a light weight and my meds make me into more of one. I'll have one small Jack and Coke and be tipsy as hell.

We'll have to see how it goes.