March 3, 2014


Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be 31. Hooray. Seriously though I don't care that I'll be 31. It's no different than when I turned 30, or 29, or 28... etc. I'm not one of those girls who really cares about my age. I'll say the same thing when I turn 40. I don't care.

And I never really want anything for my birthday. Not that long ago my mother had taken me dress clothes shopping and counted that as part of my birthday present, which was awesome! When she said "part of" I told her that she didn't need to get me or give me anything else. I was more than happy with what she had just done. I figured that was that. No biggie. Well, over this past weekend I went down to visit her for a while. And of course she didn't listen. She ended up giving me some birthday money as well.

She stood there with the money in her hand and looked me in the eye as she said, "This is not for you to use for the household. This is not something to use for bills. This is for something you want." Basically she didn't want me to spend it on necessities. She understands that I'm unemployed and all that but she also wants me to use the money for a little splurge as I never, ever do that. Even when I was working I never really bought anything for myself. That's just how I am.

I'm so bad at spending money on myself (unless it's for a tattoo) that I have literally been trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to use the money on since she gave it to me. I'm not kidding. I would think of something and then have to throw that idea away because it was something that fell under a need rather than a want.

We went down to the store and tried finding a movie or something that I would like to watch and own. We couldn't find anything. I would see something and go, "Yeah I liked the movie but not enough to own it." Or it would be something I had never seen before and didn't want to waste money on in case I didn't like it.

We came home empty handed. I apologized to Master for dragging Him out of the house when it was so cold out but He said it wasn't a big deal at all. I apologize for some weird shit, let me tell ya. Normally it's for something out of my control or something that isn't my fault. I'm fucked up like that.

I was disappointed because I kind of felt like I would just end up spending the money on something needed for the household simply because I couldn't think of a damn thing I wanted. And that would piss my mom off. And Master wouldn't have been too happy about it either.

Once we got home I finally figured out what I wanted. I wanted a date night with my Husband. It's something I want and it's something we haven't done in a very, very long time. There aren't any movies out in theaters that either of us want to see, so we'll be just going out to dinner. It may sound stupid, but Master and I haven't had a date night in I can't tell you how long and I'm not sure when we'll be able to any time soon simply because of finances. So, using my birthday money for it makes perfect sense.

We'll probably go a little earlier than we would normally eat at home, like we normally do. And since it'll be a Tuesday night it shouldn't be very busy. I already picked out where we are going and Master seemed very pleased by it because He loves the restaurant. I'm looking forward to it.

Yes, we could have just gone tonight but I really want to do it on my actual birthday.