Alright.. so here we go...
If you've read here for a while now you already know that my grandfather has a lot of health problems. He's diabetic, he has a fuck ton of heart problems that have been going on for the past 15 years, gradually getting worse and worse. You also know that he just doesn't want to be here anymore. He wants to just give up the ghost and be with my grandmother who has been gone 20 years. His body just isn't allowing him to do so. Even with all of his health problems it's keeping him going each day.
I haven't seen him since this past Christmas. That probably sounds absolutely horrible of me. But he doesn't want visitors. He just plain doesn't. The only time he wants someone around is when he absolutely has to. By that I mean when he needs to have the house cleaned, have his finances done, be taken to the grocery store and taken to doctor appointments. And so I respect his wishes and stay away. In fact all the family respects those wishes, including his two sons, my dad and my uncle.
Anyway, yesterday I got a very scary call from my mother. She has been part of my grandfather's life since she was 16 years old. She was with my father for 25 years. And even when they got divorced my grandfather considered her a daughter and they have remained in contact with one another.
My mother had received a frantic call from my uncle, who also stays in contact with her. My grandfather had a doctor appointment on Wednesday and while there his heart rate was extremely high again. They had to knock him out, shock his heart, and wake him back up. He has a DNR in place but that is only in the case of if he is actually deceased.
But the frantic call had nothing to do with that. Grandpa was supposed to have another doctor appointment yesterday and my dad and uncle were going to take him there. My uncle had attempted to call him to remind him that they would be coming out soon. He got no answer and figured that he was sleeping as he has been sleeping a lot lately. But then they got a call from Grandpa's next door neighbor saying that he hadn't seen Grandpa go outside to get his newspaper or take his dog out. The neighbor had also attempting to call him but didn't get an answer. So he called my uncle, worried. My uncle told the neighbor that they would head out immediately. My dad and uncle rushed out there and when they got inside (my dad has his own set of keys to the house) they didn't get any kind of welcome. In fact he wasn't in the living room.
They found him on the bathroom floor, with his head just past the doorway of the bathroom. His dog was hovering and whimpering over him. My dad called 911 immediately. Grandpa was unconscious. Dad and my uncle were able to get him to wake up before the ambulance got there but he wasn't making a lot of sense. They didn't try to move him. When the ambulance got there and tried to get him up onto the gurney Grandpa screamed in pain. He said his back is where the pain was coming from. As they were getting him onto the gurney as gently, yet quickly, as possible they asked him how long he thought he had been on the floor.
He told them he remembers starting to walk out of the bathroom and looking up at the clock. The clock had said 9am. My dad and uncle hadn't gotten out there until 2pm. He had been on the floor like that until they had arrived and was slipping in and out of consciousness but couldn't move because of the pain.
He has a phone in his bathroom but it wasn't where he could reach it once he was on the floor. And when people were calling he couldn't get up to answer it. My uncle followed the ambulance to the hospital while my dad frantically searched the house for the paperwork he needed, such as the power of attorney and the list of all of his medications. The ambulance couldn't take him to the hospital he normally goes to because by law they have to go to the one closest to the house.
When my dad and uncle got to the hospital, that is when my mom got the phone call and then she in turn called me to let me know what was going on. I asked her if she thought I should rush down there. She said no because she felt as if any of the rest of the family other than my dad and uncle went down it would only further add to the chaos, which I understood and agreed with.
All I could do was wait for the next phone call with an update. I had remained calm during the phone call but broke down as soon as I started to explain to Master what was going on. I was sitting in the computer chair and He came over and rested on His haunches while He held my hand and let me take my time finishing what I was trying to tell Him.
And so we waited. And waited. And waited.
I eventually sent my dad a text message asking him to call me or to let me know when I can call. I know he had to turn off his cell phone while he was there so I figured a text message would make more sense than leaving a voice mail.
About an hour later my dad sent me a text saying it was okay to call. So I did. Dad was at home as my grandfather had been admitted to the hospital. The update I got was that when Grandpa had been admitted his blood sugar was extremely low, he was severely dehydrated and his heart beat had raced back up to where it had been on Wednesday. He wasn't dehydrated on Wednesday and his blood sugar levels were normal. So in the matter of two days all of this had happened.
My dad is not a man who shows his emotions. He holds them and bottles them up. While I was talking to him his voice was shaking pretty badly. It sounded as if he had just stopped crying or was trying not to cry. I didn't mention it. It would have only made things worse for him.
He told me that they had done a cat scan and taken x-rays but that they wouldn't get the results until tomorrow. I found that a little odd, but I have a feeling that mainly is due to the fact that my grandfather's doctors wanted to hold a meeting over it. My dad told me he would keep me updated once he got a major update.
I got off the phone with him and later on last night, about 10pm or so, I got a text saying that my grandfather had been released from the hospital and was at home with my uncle. What the fuck!? I didn't delve any deeper than that last night. Everyone's nerves were fried.
This morning I got up and called my mom. My mom is like a central hub. One person gives her the updates and then she updates everyone else. She told me that Grandpa had been released from the hospital last night because they had said he was terminal and as a result, for insurance purposes, all they could do was stabilize him and send him home. They hadn't even received results on all of his tests yet! But hey.. he's stable for that moment so lets ship him off to his house. Our health care system is fucked up. The doctors said that he is not to be left alone. My uncle had stayed the night and then he had to go to work or he would have been fired. Grandpa's neighbor kept watch after that.
I tried to call my dad to see if he needed me to go down and basically "take a shift". He didn't answer so I left a voice mail. That was probably around noon. It's almost 3pm now. So I figured one of two things...
- My dad was on his way out there as he doesn't answer his phone when he's driving.
- He was already out there and busy taking of Grandpa and so didn't answer his phone.
It's one of those things where on one hand I want people to keep him in their thoughts so that he will get better as I don't want my grandfather to die. But, on the other hand, I know he doesn't want to be here anymore. And as fucked up as it sounds I think he would be happier if he weren't. So I'm a loving granddaughter who doesn't want to see her grandfather go but also doesn't want him to suffer any longer than absolutely necessary.
Like I said, we're on standby. We're just keeping the phones close and waiting. I don't want to blow up my dad's phone because my dad is one of those people where if/when he has news he will call me. If I'm constantly calling him it'll only add stress and will piss him off. My mom will call me if she hears anything.
This is another reason why I hate living here. We're 40 to 45 minutes away from where Grandpa lives. Master and I both want to move to His hometown and then it would just be a hop, skip, and a jump. It would be 15 to 20 minutes tops.
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